Thank You For Not Shifting (Peculiar Mysteries Book 2) (2 page)

There wasn’t a person in town who didn’t sing the doc’s praises—except me, of course. He had a medical degree from a big university. Yet, he also believed in hoodoo spiritualism or what he called, “earth magic.”

I couldn’t see how he could possibly reconcile science and magic.

“Did you hear the one about the wolf who walked into a diner and was ogled by a coyote?” Elbert Johnson chuckled.

Jo Jo laughed.

I closed my gaping mouth and snapped at Jo Jo, “Don’t you have work to do?”

He walked away with a wide grin on his pierced lips, and I caught the fist bump he handed Elbert when he strolled past the Johnson’s booth.

I tried to get myself together, but crap, it wasn’t easy.

Billy Bob smiled at me. My stomach fluttered. Unfortunately, I hadn’t noticed the pretty, blonde-haired woman directly behind him until she stepped into view. She moved up beside him and looped her arm around his. I wanted to punch her in her shiny, pretty face.

“Hey, doc,” trilled Sunny. She waved at Billy Bob from across the room.

Thanks to Sunny and her haphazard psychic visions—and her penchant for finding trouble—she’d managed to lead the charge to find me before the hunters could finish me off. Sunny got to know the doc quite well during that time, and while she was married to my brother Babe, she and Billy Bob had maintained a close friendship. I couldn’t be mad at her. She’d fought for my freedom, the way only a BFF can. She was beautiful inside and out, and I felt grateful to have her in my life. Today, she wore her golden hair in a ponytail. The style really showed off her large, striking green eyes. The pink V-neck shirt she’d just changed into showed off her other large assets as well. She’d already been blessed with good boobs before pregnancy. Now that she was nursing my adorable infant nephew, her boobs were almost in Dolly Parton territory.

The werewolf grinned at her. Hmph. Any idiot could see he was in love with my best friend. However, she was married to my brother, Babel, and Billy Bob making goo-goo eyes at her was plain ol’ wrong. It had
nothing
to do with him not making goo-goo eyes at me.

“Hey, Sunny,” he said back. “How you feeling?”

“Really good,” she replied, all bright and perky. “Those herbs you gave me have really helped with Jude’s colic.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad to hear it. Bring him by next week for his five-month checkup.”

“You got it.” She smiled, her lashes batting hard enough to stir up a breeze.

“Anytime. You don’t need an appointment.” He laughed again. The sound hit all my buttons. I glared at Sunny. She noticed my look, smiled sweetly, and shrugged.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one glaring. The shiny little blonde, still clinging to Billy Bob’s arm, shot daggers at my bestie. She clearly didn’t want his attention focused anywhere else but on her. I tapped the counter to draw their attention away from Sunny. I’d hate to have to beat a bitch for making angry eyes at my friend.

She wasn’t a local, which meant she was here for the festival. I wondered what her animal could be. Since I grew up an integrator, I’d never really learned all the characteristics for the different therian ethnicities. In their human forms, most therians had minor traits that revealed their inner animals. For example, werecoyotes have similar bone structure and build. We tend to be taller than average and have high cheekbones, wide mouths, square jaws, and straight noses. Raccoons, like Sheriff Taylor and his wife Jean, have the tale-tell darker circles around the eyes and wide cheeks. Ruth Thompson, one of my very good friends, and the local go-to gal is a spotted white tail deer. Deer are more delicate in their features, and they have the kind of beauty written about in fairy tales. They can seem almost nymph-like, even the men, like her husband Ed and all her boys.

Those were the obvious ones, but I’m unfamiliar with the therian groups outside of Peculiar, so I was no better than a human at identifying them. Of course, there are the hybrids as well, like Jo Jo, our bus boy-slash-waiter-slash-dishwasher who is half coyote, half mountain lion. His face is more narrow and longer than a normal coyote, but he has a similar height and build. Even still, if Ruth Thompson hadn’t told me, I would never have guessed.

The blonde who clung to Billy Bob had a tiny nose and pouty lips and big, blue, doll eyes that all screamed weasel to me. Also, her itty bitty waist told me she wasn’t drowning any sorrows in potato salad.

“Pie?” I asked her, pulling out a slice of coconut cream pie with coconut whipped topping from the refrigerated display case. I pushed it across the counter.

Her upper lip curled in disdain. At least, that’s how I read it. She gazed pointedly at my mid-section then glanced down her svelte form.

“Why not,” she said, pulling the pie across the counter. She picked up a fork from the silverware cups, scooped some pie up, and took a big bite. “Good.” She sniffed, as if she’d had better, but was being polite. “I’m lucky,” blondie said, taking another bite. “I can just eat and eat, and it never goes to my hips.”

Oh, look, she shifts into a bitch. What a surprise.

I grabbed a pen and calculated the cost of the pie on a pad near the register. “That’ll be $4.78.”

Billy Bob pulled out his wallet. “It’s on me, Chav. Bethany is the Arkansas
vulpes
representative on the council. I’m showing her around town today.”

Vulpes
meant she was a fox. And here I was hoping she was a werecow. But no, a fox! Could it get any more cliché? Ugh. And the way she fawned over Billy Bob, I swear if
Bethany
had been full of sunshine and rainbows they’d be shooting out of her eyeballs and her ass. She squeezed his arm harder and leaned closer to his body. “Thank you, William.”

The pen in my hand snapped. William? William! Seriously? My temple throbbed with my quickening heartbeat. I couldn’t believe she called him William. Nobody did that. I could see his own smile falter, but he turned up the charm. “You’re welcome, Bethany.”

So beguiling. So handsome. So frustrating! Ack! I snarled. The noise started in my chest and rumbled through my teeth and nose.

“Did you say something, Chav?” he asked. I swear I heard laughter in his voice.

I gritted my teeth. “Nope.” I wanted to bite him and not in a sexy way.

He patted blondie’s hand, the one permanently attached to his arm. He nodded to me. “Bethany will be leading the talks on therianthropic acclimation and normalization for new community members.”

When I didn’t respond, because a) I didn’t care, and b) I didn’t care, he added, “Bethany, this is Chavvah Trimmel. She used to be an integrator, but she’s now a welcome addition to the town.”

“Trimmel. Are you related to the mayor?” Bethany asked.

“He’s my brother.”

“Chavvah owns the restaurant with Sunny.” Billy Bob gestured to Sunny.

“Sunny Trimmel,” I said. “My sister-in-law. Married to the mayor. My brother.” Just in case Billy Bob forgot she was married.

He smirked. “Chav and Sunny will be making all the vegetarian food for the banquet on Saturday night.”

Great. I had been outed as an outsider and then relegated to mere caterer. “Did you want anything to go?”
So you can just go
, I mentally added.

“No,” he said. “Just… Well, it doesn’t matter.” He waved his hand. “I’ll see you around.”

He turned on his heel, Bethany double-timing her steps to stay glued to his side. He didn’t even stop to say bye to Sunny. Huh.

The lunch crowd dwindled, giving me space and time from Billy Bob’s visit. I took pleasure in scrubbing the counters, as long as I didn't look too hard at the scars on my hands. Through some of the toughest times in my life, I've always been able to smile. My mother said I was a happy baby—the easiest of all her kids. I was the monkey in the middle between my two brothers, but since I was the only girl, it was easy to feel special. I used to be a happy person. Damn it. I am a happy person.

I
am
a happy person.

Staring at the spaces between my fingers, I let my hand go out of focus as I rubbed the counter in a circular motion. I forced my lips into a smile.

“Earth to Chav.” Robbin Clubb, the local bookstore owner, was standing at the end of the counter with her wallet out. Next to her, Sharrall, her cousin, a were-mountain lion like Robbin, waited patiently for me to attend them.

Rushing over, I smiled and rang up her order. “Two hummus salad sandwiches with micro-greens and herbed soy cream cheese with two bags of home-fried sweet potato chips.”

I was always surprised how many carnivores really loved our vegetarian food.

“Thanks, Chavvie,” Sharrall said.

Robbin and Sharrall exited just as Ed Thompson, owner of Doe-Run Automotive and my friend Ruth's husband, walked in. He was a handsome man, even if a bit soft in the middle. I imagined Ruth’s pies had a lot to do with the extra fluff. He had blond hair, the color of beach sand and dark brown eyes. They were wide and large, but not so much he looked like an alien. Typical for weredeer.

“Anywhere?” he asked, indicating a nearby booth.

“Sure, Ed.”

Jo Jo was in a back booth, legs up on the bench, folding napkins and filling salt and pepper shakers. Our Jo Jo used to hang with a rowdy crowd, but over the last several years, he’d really matured into a responsible young man. I really didn’t know what Sunny and I would do if it weren’t for his help. Still, I wasn’t sure if Ed would approve of the tattooed and pierced young man, especially since it appeared Jo Jo was dating Michele, one of Ed’s older daughters.

I crossed the restaurant and smacked his size twelve combat boots hanging off the side of the padded bench. “Feet down, Jo Jo. You're on break, not at a day spa.” I nodded to where Ed sat. “Besides, you got a customer.”

My young friend scrambled up when he saw Ed and straightened his half-apron before walking over to take the deer-shifter’s order.

Speaking of spas…oh, what I wouldn't have given at that moment to be at a day spa. There wasn't much I missed about living in California, but I did miss the pampering. I supposed we could drive to the city for a girl’s day, but the restaurant required constant work. I looked at my bright red, shapely nails and had to admit, Dolly, who owned the local beauty shop, gave a mean manicure.

Mike Rogers, the owner of Grizzly Hardware, and yep, you guessed it, a bear shifter, walked in, his shoulders rounded forward, his mouth set in a grim line. He looked around for a second, spotted his target and headed straight for Ed. His dark brown hair was disheveled, and he held his meaty hands in tight fists.

Jo Jo yelped with surprise as Mike shoved him aside. I grabbed Jo Jo to stop him from getting involved then put myself between the nineteen-year-old and possible danger. My pulse sped up, and the voice I’d been hearing since my kidnapping, said,
Keep calm. You will not be harmed
.

The
voice
had kept me sane, kept me strong. It had been a coping mechanism according to Sunny and her pop psychology, a way to not be alone during the darkest hours of my life. Mike looked ready for a fight, and he’d probably triggered my imaginary friend. The voice seemed to pop up during times of extreme stress, pain, or fear. Right now, stress and fear were featuring prominently in my emotions. I was sure Ed could take care of himself, but I’d seen Mike lose his cool before.

At the town council meeting, he was one of the few people who wanted to tell the Tri-Council about Sunny being human. In fact, she was the only human in town, or at least, the only non-shifter. Since she was psychic, I didn’t really know for sure if she was like a normal human. Since the baby, her gifts had been more miss than hit. Luckily, Mike had been voted down, but I didn’t trust him not to blab. Babe and our town could be in a whole lot of trouble if the powers-that-be found out Sunny wasn’t a therian. Damn it.

“You need to take this outside, Mike.” I waved my hands. “Whatever this is.”

“Ed here has recommended to the street vendors to get their hardware supplies at ACME in Lake Ozarks. He’s been telling people I’m price gouging.”

Ed didn’t bother to stand up. “You’ve marked your prices up significantly this past week, Mike.”

Mike’s full cheeks puffed up red. “What business is it of yours?”

“I’m one of the town liaisons for the Tri-Council, and I told you two days ago that if you didn’t lower your inflated prices, this would be the result.”

“I won’t have you tearing down my good name, Ed. I won’t have you damaging my business reputation.”

Ed turned his gaze up to Mike. “You’ve done that to yourself.”

Mike tried to lunge for Ed, but I got between them, barely holding him off, and thankful he hadn’t thrown a punch.

“Get out of here.” I pushed harder against him, glad that Sunny had ducked into the kitchen.
This man is a coward. He will not act.
The voice in my head tried to reassure me, but I didn’t want to take the chance. “Leave now before I call the sheriff.”

Mike leaned in, his finger shaking as he pointed to Ed. “I’ll see you rot for this, Ed Thompson. You haven’t heard the last from me.” He eased up, turned around, and walked out angrier than when he’d walked in.

“Holy crap.”

“I’m sorry that happened here, Chav,” Ed said.

“Me too,” I told him. Fights in Sunny’s Outlook were bad for business. Not to mention, my sanity. “Jo Jo, finish taking Ed’s order.”

You did well, sister
.

Thanks
, I told my imaginary friend.
Everything is good now. You can get out of my head.

The dinner crowd hit hard about five-thirty. The omnivores and herbivores seemed to really like our Thursday specials of avocado and cucumber spring rolls and the roasted veggie wraps. The soup of the day was split pea, and the scent, thick and sweet, clung in the air. The soup made a great dipping sauce, too.

I'd be a happy-tired at closing time when I cashed out the drawers. Especially since the restaurant needed new drains and pipes. The old drains kept flooding, and it was a pain the ass to keep the sump pump running all the time—not to mention the extra cost on the electric bill as a result.