That Which Destroys Me (19 page)

I stand and kiss the top of her head before tipping her head back with my fingertips under her chin. “Is that understood?”

She nods, swallowing and whispers, “Yes.”

After I’m sitting behind my desk, I clear my throat steeling myself for ‘the talk’ although every atom in my body is screaming trying prevent my words, “I’m not asking you for forever, Stell. Honestly, I don’t think I’m made for forever’s; but I don’t want to put limits on us either. You and I are like a candle burning at both ends, or a star blazing through the fucking night sky, so we’ll just let this - let us - burn and blaze until there’s nothing left.”

“I…I like that. It makes it less scary somehow.”

I smile at her, elation fills my soul, happiness saturates me from the inside out. “Good girl.”

Our little talk on that Wednesday seemed to clear up all of our misunderstandings. She’s spent every night at my place since. I was only able to keep myself pinned behind the desk for thirty minutes before I had her pinned over the desk, riding her sexy little ass straight to kingdom cum from behind.

Stell and I have been going pretty strong for the last few months. Just like I predicted, we fight like cats and dogs. But Jesus, Mary, and Joseph… When it’s good? It is the best damn good anyone has ever felt.

I knew from the beginning Stella had a submissive nature under her façade of steel.

Tonight’s agenda is a charity dinner I must attend and although my father is also attending, the fact I’m going with my angel has me smiling in the mirror. After I tighten my tie I sit on the dressing chair to slide my feet in my dress shoes.

I’m not sure why but anxiety is tingling through my nerve endings. I pour a scotch and walk over to the desk in the corner of my room. I dial Myrta while sipping my scotch slowly as I sit behind my desk and pull out Stella’s file. I flip through the pages over and over, rereading each note and connotation. There is something, something Derrick missed or deemed not important, which has been niching, hovering in my mind like mist.  I sense the dread of it while reading her pages and attempt to zero in but it’s gone as quickly as it appeared.

“Ola señor Wesley. Are you stashing for your party?” She chuckles at her joke. Because it’s Saturday and Myrta’s usually gone by noon, I know without a doubt she’s tapped into the wine cellar.

Laughing at her I say, “Myrta, I hope stashing is not what Stell thinks when she sees me, but I’ll make sure to fill you in if she does. Is the limo ready?”

“I say stashing. Like handsome, draper. You know? No? Oh, yes, the limo is here. He can drive me after you are at party, sí, Mr. Wesley?”

“Ahh… It’s dashing and dapper. And absolutely, Myrta. In fact, you should grab yourself a bottle of wine from the cellar to take home with you.” I sip the last of my scotch before standing and buttoning my suit jacket. “I’m headed downstairs, Myrta.”

I’m by the door slipping on my over coat, when I catch something out of the corner of my eye causing me to look over my shoulder. I see my tipsy housekeeper half walking half staggering toward me. “Senior Wesley, so dashing you look this night. If I didn’t know you were the Diablo in an ángel’s disfrazar, I show you mi Maria years ago.”

I laugh realizing how tipsy she truly is. Note the mixture of Spanish and English. One more glass and Myrta will be lashing her Latino tongue at a rate that I have no chance at understanding. “Thank you. However, I’m uncertain if that was a compliment or an insult.” I kiss the top of her salt and pepper head. “I’ll tell the driver to make sure you make it home. No more cellar juice, sí? I want you at least to remember the ride home…” I narrow my eyes on her clouded ones “and make it to bed, safely. Understood?”

“Sí, sí. You have pasarlo bien, buenas noches, señor Wesley.” She pats my shoulder and pinches both cheeks before walking err…wobbling away.

By the time the limo pulls up to Stell’s, I need another damn drink I’m so nervous. “Stan? You picked up the long stems from the florist, right?”

He hands me a long gold rectangle box through the divider. I open the box and scoop all twenty-four purple and lavender colored long stem roses wrapped in silver satin. After I look over them and shake them around, slapping a few crinkled leaves and get thorned for it, I shove the stupid box at Stan. “The hell did they come in a box for? That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen, Stan.”

“Sir, you asked for the most expensive purple roses. Expensive roses come in a box. If you prefer, I can just swing by Kroger and grab a ten dollar bouquet wrapped in cellophane.”

I shake my head in disgust and climb out of the limo with my… Stell’s… now unboxed purple roses.

Chapter 22

Cinder-fucking-ella

“I don’t look like a whore?” I ask scooping my tits into place before sliding my hands across the fine black delicate lace covering the nude silk of the dress visible beneath.

“Nope. You look like that hooker… What’s that movie all you damn white girls loved in the 90’s? Pretty Slut, no… that’s not it. OH! Cinder-fucking-ella!” Trina tips a little too far in her chair before her equilibrium can catch up with her erratic hand motions that are commonly associated with… Well, Trina’s drunk off her ass.

I smooth ‘Barely Nude’ by L’Oreal on my lips and tell Trina through the mirrors reflection. “It’s called ‘Pretty Woman’ and don’t act like you didn’t cry when Vivian told Kit she was going to San Fran at the end.”

I pucker my lips and quickly assess myself from head to toe in the mirror. Trina pinned all my dark tresses up, leaving strategically placed wisps and curls framing my face.

My dress? Fan-fucking-tastic! I don’t even want to know what T had to do to acquire it. And the nude designer stiletto peep toes on my feet are another question I won’t ask for fear she’ll tell me she either sold a kidney, robbed a bank or both.

“So what, it was a movie I related to, Stell. Sue me.” She’s in the middle of rolling her eyes when the apartment buzzer goes off, her rolling eyes become wide as her smile lights up her adorably inebriated face. She scurries from the bed calling out over her shoulder . “Time, sis? How much time you need?”

Staring at my reflection I inhale deeply. As I exhale, I mutter, “There is no time left. Lord knows I can’t fight this shit any longer.”

.

As soon as I see Wes standing in my living room, with a bushel of purple roses wrapped in silk, butterflies take flight in my stomach, my pulse quickens, and I can hardly catch my breath. I realize how beautiful Wesley Jacobs is as my eyes drink him in, standing before me in a classic black on black suit and tie.

Once we are in the limo whisking our way to a charity ball Wes cornered me into, I whisper, “Wes, what exactly is my roll tonight? Am I your intern or your date?”

His expression is nothing short of salacious cockiness covered in hot sex. His husky voice carries through the darkened limo’s interior. “My thoughts precisely. You, in either way, shape, or form, are mine. My intern. My date. My pussy. My ass. My smile. My laugh. Any and everything that is you, Ms. Reese, is mine.”

He leans forward. bracing his elbows on his knees, and drains the drink in his hand before setting it off to the side. Wes’ eyes stay locked on her mine, watching… I feel my heart jolt as I begin fidgeting from the intensity of his glare. I feel as if my nerves are going to leap from my skin.

During our silent ride to the charity function I sit looking out the window at New Yorks skyline.  The limo glides in front of Rockefeller Hall, I catch sight of celebrities lining a red carpet as they move inside and I glance  at Wes nervously realizing he’s sliding  beside me. His capable arm circles my waist as he pulls me close tucking me into his side. “We don’t have to do the red. If you prefer, I can have Stan drive us around the back, angel.”

My gaze doesn’t leave the topic of conversation, “What will happen if we go in the back? I thought being seen was the important part of these things.”

“Yes, it is however, it is the number of zero’s on the check I write which is the most important.” He nuzzles my neck and jawline before whispering into my ear, “Stell, you look absolutely beautiful tonight. Let me show the world how lucky a man I am. Would you do me the honor of walking the red carpet with you by my side?. Do it for me, angel.”

Shit!

“Shit!” I roll my eyes just as Stan the limo driver pulls us up to the circus of flashing lights and chaos.

The door of the limo swings open and I freeze, I sit in the car and look out at the extended hand in front of me and simply blink at it.

“Ms. Reese, take the man’s hand..” Wes, so close to my ear his lips brush my skin, finishes his command and nips the skin on the back of my neck spurring me to action.

I grasp the gloved hand and smile the brightest smile I have as I step from the car. As soon as Wes is out of the limo, he tucks me back into his side. I love it when he holds me like this. I feel sheltered, protected, and loved. Even though I’m a billion percent sure my smile looks like it belongs to a crazed person, I refuse to let it slide from my expression. I smile dammit, and even when my cheeks hurt, I still don’t stop smiling.

Once we’re in the party hall, our coats are taken and our drinks are served. Wes leads me around the circle of guests introducing me to everyone as his ‘angel’. I’m on the verge of either kneeing him in the balls to shut him up, or playing like I’m a narcoleptic…mostly for entertainment reasons, but also to get out of smiling and shaking hands with everyone. Wes seems to sense my rising tension.

“I know, Stell. I’m over this shit too. Come on, we’ll go find our seats.” Wesley’s hand settles on the small of my back and we begin heading in the direction of the tables when we are quite literally tag teamed. Wesley takes an older couple to his left, I take a young hot author to my right. Absolutely! Between the two of us, I definitely came out ahead in the situation.

“Jude!” I smile as he rushes towards me with a dazzling smile. I can’t help giggling when he lifts me and spins around. But before setting me back down to the earth, his arms lock around my waist keeping me less than an inch from his face.

I blush trying to turn my head away from his direct and blatant flirting but his words have my eyes seeking his again. “You look utterly breathtaking, babe. Wow. I mean, WOW. That asshole forget to tell you I’ve been calling you all week again?”

“Jude, put me down. This is probably the most scandalous I’ve ever felt. People are staring, please put me down.” I whisper-scream.

Wesley’s booming loud voice has every head turning our way. “Motherfucker, she already asked you once. I won’t wait for her to ask again. I’ll just mow your ass down right here in front of everyone. Understood?”

I’m dropped to my feet and a whoosh of air leaves my lungs before Wesley turns towards the couple he was talking to. “Josephine.” He nods at the thin somewhat older woman dripping in diamonds and fur before turning his attention to the older gentleman. “Father.”

Wait. Hold the phone! I’m meeting the folks? Son of a bitch!

“I’d like for you to meet my angel, Ms. Stella Reese. She and I have been dating for several months.” He grins looking down at me. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t piss her off or get in her way. I would, however, get used to her, because she isn’t going anywhere - not if I have anything to do with it.”