That Which Destroys Me (20 page)

I tap the arm mine is looped around. “Oh my, Wes! Would you shush?” I turn to Josephine with my hand out, “Josephine, it’s lovely to meet you.” I smile and watch as she shakes my hand (if you can call it shaking) only touching it with the forefinger and thumb of her right hand with a look of disgust on her face.

I quickly yank my hand away and maintain my composure, extending my hand again only towards Wes’ father. “Mr. Jacobs, it’s nice to meet you as well.” He shakes my hand – correctly - and smiles. I pause briefly as I notice how much Wes looks like his father.

But, not too much to deny the bitch that lies within me who wants off her feet.

“I do hope you two have a lovely evening, please excuse me, standing in six inches is quite unnatural as I am sure you would  agree, Josephine.” I smile my friendly viper smile and wink. Looking up at Wesley I ask, “Wesley, are you finished mingling, dear?”

“Well past .” His hand never leaves the small of my back as he leads me to our table. Once we are seated he bursts out laughing waving a waiter over for water. His eyes smile at mine over the rim of the glass and after he sets it on the table he picks up my hand to rest it in both of his. “If you don’t stop being so adorable, I’m going to fall in love with you, Ms. Reese and if that happens, so help us God, we’re all in trouble.”

“Don’t threaten me. It’s your fault for dragging me through the throng of paparazzi and stuck up heifers. I’m surprised I didn’t chew someone’s Gucci covered arm off. I’m starving to death!” I mutter.

When I glance across the table at Wesley, he’s looking over my shoulder with a scowl so menacing, it causes me to shiver.

“Wes, are you okay? What is it?” I ask.

Before he can answer, Jude’s voice floats over my shoulders at the exact moment his hands slide and settle on top of them. “You two wouldn’t mind if I intruded would you?” I look up at him over my shoulder and smile patting the table at my side.

I kick Wes under the table as I notice his hands fist and knuckles blanch. “Absolutely not, Jude. There’s plenty of room.”

Wesley clears his throat and leans forward, but before he can speak, I dive into conversation with Jude about his work in progress and the recent overnight hit ‘Twisted Obsession’ has become.

A little more than an hour goes by when I finally see my two best friends, Eve and Bo, arrive. Eve is from ridiculous old money. When T and I first inducted her into our little family circle, every chance we got the three of us would get girly-excited and dress up to go with her to these fancy parties. It didn’t take long for them to lose their luster though. Me and T stopped going, but poor little Evey still had to go. Especially with her modeling career taking off.

I squeal clapping my hands like a school girl when she gets close enough to the table.

I’ve kept Wesley to myself for the most part. Besides talking to Trina about our relationship, I don’t. So, needless to say I’m a tad bit nervous yet excited to finally introduce Wes to Eve and Bo.

After the introductions are made, we all sit at Wesley’s table chatting while the dinner courses are served. Everyone seems to be getting along great – well, almost everyone. If Jude would stop with the innuendos and straight out blatant flirting with both me and Eve. I swear to Christ. This guy has the biggest damn ego.

He bounces between flirting with me and Eve, oblivious to the fact that every time he flirts with me, his life is in the balance and Wes holds the cord. And when he flirts with Eve, his life is also in the balance, except Wes hands Bo the cord.

We’re eating dessert when the music starts and I begin feeling sick. I blame the stress and anxiety over dinner for the sudden nausea. My nerves feel as if they’ve been hooked up to electroshock, suddenly Jude’s hand grabs mine and he stands saying, “Have the first dance with me, babe.” Every nerve ending fires with a jolt of electricity sending my dinner back up.

I leap from my chair and mutter, “Excuse me.” Before covering my mouth and quickly making my way to the ladies room.

After having lost my dinner in a cacophony of ralphs, I make my way from the bathroom stall to the sink without looking up.

I wet my face and am patting it dry when I hear a sinister cackle behind me, “Just like his whore mother. I can’t say that I’m surprised. The Jacobs boys seem to have an affinity for impregnating the female dredges of society.”

My eyes snap up to meet hers in the mirror. A smile dances across my lips as I quietly respond, “Josephine. Cynicism does not become you, love. And you can cool your rumor jets, I went through enough abuse as a child and teenager to guarantee that I will never conceive. So unfurrow your brow, witch.” I spin on my heel and slam from the restroom.

Chapter 23

That Which Belongs to Me

I’m at my breaking point. I’m a seething melting pot seconds from bubbling over when I see Stell flying towards our table, flustered and pale as a ghost. She looks fucking horrified. I’m out of my chair and halfway across the room before my mind even registers how scared my angel truly appears.

When I’m within reaching distance, I slip one arm around her waist and the other over the top of her shoulders before tucking her tightly to me. “Angel, what’s wrong?” Her entire frame is trembling and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

I’m barely able to make out her whisper, “Wes, I don’t feel well. Please take me home. I’m so sorry.” I see Josephine step from the bathroom. The same bathroom that Stell just came running from like the hounds of hell were nipping at her heels.

“Tell me by home you mean mine and yes, we’ll leave immediately.” I probably should’ve coaxed her a bit more gently into that proposal, and I fully intended to, but the insane surge of possessive emotions, along with the physical ache to protect Stell, causes the words to fall from my mouth.

Is it because Jude was all over her most of the night? Possibly.

Stell nods against my chest and whispers, “Yes. Let’s go home, Wes.”

And that’s all I need. Moments later, I have Stell still tucked tightly to me as we slide into the limo. Once Stan pulls the car from the curb, I pull her onto my lap and cradle her against my chest. I remove the pins from her hair before running my fingers through it with one hand while gently scratching her scalp at the base of her neck with the other. At some point during the ride home, she falls asleep.

The limo parks outside my building. I step from the car and scoop Stell up, looping one arm under her knees and the other behind her back. Once I stand to my full stature, I tell Stan, “Hey man, grab her shoes and hand them to me.” With the hand under her knees, I wiggle my fingers indicating where to place the shoes. As soon as he hands me her shoes I turn and carry Stell up the stairs and into my building.

Once we’re in my penthouse I walk into my bedroom and gently lay Stell down on the bed. After I have her dress off, I grab a t-shirt from my bureau and head back stopping dead in my tracks. I was concentrating on removing her dress, not paying attention to what lay beneath.  Biting down on the inside of my cheek doesn’t prevent the groan that escapes my throat.

Her body is encased in a satin nude corset cinched around the waist by boning sewn into the material. Between her pushed up, cupped breasts the corset plunges to her navel and laces from just below her breasts down. The light pink nipples that I love barely peek out over the top of the corsets satin material. Hooked across her hips is a garter belt with silk nude hose clipped to the straps. My eyes appreciate silk, satin, and lace but at this moment they barely skim over everything to land on her beautiful bare pussy. Instantly I’m hard enough to knock on wood and my mouth waters at the sight of her.

With perfectly Saintly intentions I loosen the lacings which begin just below her breasts in the middle of the corsets plunge, and slowly untie until the corset opens like the gates of heaven. When I’m fingering the clasps holding her hose I find my face over my favorite place.

Once I have her garter belt and stockings off, I hook her thighs over my shoulders and run my nose from the back of her knee to her inner thigh. Even though I’ve just eaten a seven course meal, I’m suddenly famished. Dying for a taste of her.

I’m stopped on my decent into decadence by Stell’s shrill ear splitting scream. The sheer terror in her scream causes me to jump and scramble up her body pulling her rigid frame on top of mine. “Shh… I’m here, angel. Wake up, Stell. Stell?” Her shrieking does not waver as I try to wake her. I can feel her body expelling all the air in her lungs , her scream pauses as she drags in another lung full of air  before continuing to wail in horrified panic.

Fear and concern thread their way through me causing my arms to wrap tightly around her. I kiss her sweat soaked forehead and grab ahold of the tops of her shoulders before shaking her and shouting, “Stella! Wake up!”

She stops mid scream.  Ragged breathing slowly quiets as the sweat covering her entire body turns cold.

I feel her begin to tremble as I grab the sheets and comforter and pull them tightly around us, kissing her face and the top of her head over and over until we are settled under the blankets.

My emotions are a damn whirlwind. Anger, panic, love and protectiveness all batter inside my chest for first place. Not knowing what the hell to do, I do nothing except continue holding her and running my fingers through her hair.

Time stands still but it feels like an eternity before Stell looks up at me and rests her chin on my sternum. “I’m sorry, Wes. I never wanted you to have to witness that. I hate that anyone has to witness it, but you… I never wanted you to.”

“Wha—“ I sound like a damn toad. I clear my throat before speaking again, “What were you dreaming about? Do you remember?”

She smiles sadly. “Yes, unfortunately I always remember.” Her head ducks down and she rests her cheek back on my chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Before I can finish my question, her little head shakes. My chest feels like someone left a grenade in it without the pin and the explosion shreds  me from the inside out.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, I just can’t. I’ve tried. The state of Louisiana had me seeing every damn counselor and psychiatrist in almost every parish. It didn’t work then and it won’t work now. I’m fucked up, Wes. And believe me, you don’t want to know why, I promise.”

My hand slides into her hair and hugs her face to me as my arm circling her waist tightens. “You’re not fucked up, angel. You just have nightmares. That’s all.”

Her manic laughter sends chills down my spine.

“Just nightmares, huh? Don’t fool yourself, okay? I’ve let enough of how fucked up I am slip for you to know that your statement is total bullshit.” She chuckles. “Just nightmares.”

I don’t know what the hell to say or do. I do however note that speaking seems to be a bad idea. And she isn’t pushing me away, until she does I refuse to let go of her.

So I hold her. I stare at the shadows dancing across the ceiling and continue holding her body to mine. After her breathing evens out and the tension wound tight in her muscles relaxes, I still don’t loosen my hold on her in fear of not being there if another… whatever the
FUCK
that was happens again.

I can’t honestly say this insane idea didn’t stem from the sadistic bastard inside me. But sometime during the night and early morning hours, as my fingers traced the obvious self inflicted razor blade scars on her outer thigh, it dawns on me that she has stayed almost every night for three months and not once suffered a nightmare before last night. There is only one common denominator, in all of those nights over the last three months I have dedicated at least two hours to completely and utterly Dominating, bending, and shoving Stell beyond her boundaries. And she submits, every fucking time - effortlessly.

Last night was the first night we went to bed without our Dom/sub play. The first night the exhaustion from our intense chaotic love-slash-hate-slash-fuck storm didn’t lull us into unconsciousness.

With that said, I believe Stella’s submissiveness is the key to her nightmares.