The Absentee (28 page)

'Speed ye! I wish I was driving you all the way, then,' said he. The
other postillion was not yet ready. 'Then your honour sees,' said he,
putting his head into the carriage, 'CONSARNING of them Garraghties—old
Nick and St. Dennis—the best part, that is the worst part, of what
I told you, proved true; and I'm glad of it, that is, I'm sorry for
it—but glad your honour knows it in time. So Heaven prosper you! And
may all the saints (BARRING St. Dennis) have charge of you, and all
belonging to you, till we see you here again!—And when will it be?'

'I cannot say when I shall return to you myself, but I will do my best
to send your landlord to you soon. In the meantime, my good fellow, keep
away from the sign of the Horse-shoe—a man of your sense to drink and
make an idiot and a brute of yourself!'

'True!—And it was only when I had lost hope I took to it—but now!
Bring me the book, one of YEES, out of the landlady's parlour.—By the
virtue of this book, and by all the books that ever was shut and opened,
I won't touch a drop of spirits, good or bad, till I see your honour
again, or some of the family, this time twelvemonth—that long I'll live
on hope—but mind, if you disappoint me, I don't swear but I'll take to
the whisky, for comfort, all the rest of my days. But don't be staying
here, wasting your time, advising me. Bartley! take the reins, can't
ye?' cried he, giving them to the fresh postillion; 'and keep on, for
your life, for there's thousands of pounds depending on the race—so,
off, off, Bartley, with speed of light!'

Bartley did his best; and such was the excellence of the roads, that,
notwithstanding the rate at which our hero travelled, he arrived safely
in Dublin, and just in time to put his letter into the post-office, and
to sail in that night's packet. The wind was fair when Lord Colambre
went on board, but before they got out of the bay it changed; they
made no way all night; in the course of the next day, they had the
mortification to see another packet from Dublin sail past them, and when
they landed at Holyhead, were told the packet, which had left Ireland
twelve hours after them, had been in an hour before them. The passengers
had taken their places in the coach, and engaged what horses could be
had. Lord Colambre was afraid that Mr. Garraghty was one of them; a
person exactly answering his description had taken four horses, and
set out half an hour before in great haste for London. Luckily, just
as those who had taken their places in the mail were getting into the
coach, Lord Colambre saw among them a gentleman, with whom he had been
acquainted in Dublin, a barrister, who was come over during the long
vacation, to make a tour of pleasure in England. When Lord Colambre
explained the reason he had for being in haste to reach London, he had
the good-nature to give up to him his place in the coach. Lord Colambre
travelled all night, and delayed not one moment, till he reached his
father's house in London.

'My father at home?'

'Yes, my lord, in his own room—the agent from Ireland with him, on
particular business—desired not to be interrupted—but I'll go and tell
him, my lord, you are come.'

Lord Colambre ran past the servant, as he spoke—made his way into the
room—found his father, Sir Terence O'Fay, and Mr. Garraghty—leases
open on the table before them; a candle lighted; Sir Terence sealing;
Garraghty emptying a bag of guineas on the table, and Lord Clonbrony
actually with a pen in his hand, ready to sign.

As the door opened, Garraghty started back, so that half the contents of
his bag rolled upon the floor.

'Stop, my dear father, I conjure you,' cried Lord Colambre, springing
forward, and kneeling to his father; at the same moment snatching the
pen from his hand.

Colambre! God bless you, my dear boy! at all events. But how came you
here?—And what do you mean?' said his father.

'Burn it!' cried Sir Terence, pinching the sealing-wax; 'for I burnt
myself with the pleasure of the surprise.'

Garraghty, without saying a word, was picking up the guineas that were
scattered upon the floor.

'How fortunate I am,' cried Lord Colambre, 'to have arrived just in
time to tell you, my dear father, before you put your signature to these
papers, before you conclude this bargain, all I know, all I have seen,
of that man!'

'Nick Garraghty, honest old Nick; do you know him, my lord?' said Sir
Terence.

'Too well, sir.'

'Mr. Garraghty, what have you done to offend my son? I did not expect
this,' said Lord Clonbrony.

'Upon my conscience, my lord, nothing to my knowledge,' said Mr.
Garraghty, picking up the guineas; 'but showed him every civility, even
so far as offering to accommodate him with cash without security; and
where will you find the other agent, in Ireland or anywhere else, will
do that? To my knowledge, I never did anything, by word or deed, to
offend my Lord Colambre; nor could not, for I never saw him, but for ten
minutes, in my days; and then he was in such a foaming passion—begging
his lordship's pardon—owing to the misrepresentations he met with
of me, I presume, from a parcel of blackguards that he went amongst,
INCOGNITO, he would not let me or my brother Dennis say a word to
set him right; but exposed me before all the tenantry, and then threw
himself into a hack, and drove off here, to stop the signing of these
leases, I perceive. But I trust,' concluded he, putting the replenished
money-bag down with a heavy sound on the table, opposite to Lord
Clonbrony,—'I trust, my Lord Clonbrony will do me justice; that's all I
have to say.'

'I comprehend the force of your last argument fully, sir,' said Lord
Colambre. 'May I ask how many guineas there are in the bag? I don't ask
whether they are my father's or not.'

'They are to be your lordship's father's, sir, if he thinks proper,'
replied Garraghty. 'How many, I don't know that I can justly, positively
say—five hundred, suppose.'

'And they would be my father's if he signed those leases—I understand
that perfectly, and understand that my father would lose three times
that sum by the bargain.—My dear father, you start—but it is true.
Is not this the rent, sir, at which you were going to let Mr. Garraghty
have the land?' placing a paper before Lord Clonbrony.

'It is—the very thing.'

'And here, sir, written with my own hand, are copies of the proposals I
saw, from responsible, respectable tenants, offered and refused.—Is it
so, or is it not, Mr. Garraghty?—deny it, if you can.'

Mr. Garraghty grew pale; his lips quivered; he stammered; and, after a
shocking convulsion of face, could at last articulate—only—

'That there was a great difference between tenant and tenant, his
lordship must be sensible, especially for so large a rent.'—'As great a
difference as between agent and agent, I am sensible—especially for so
large a property!' said Lord Colambre, with cool contempt. 'You find,
sir, I am well informed with regard to this transaction; you will find,
also, that I am equally well informed with respect to every part of your
conduct towards my father and his tenantry. If, in relating to him what
I have seen and heard, I should make any mistakes, you are here; and I
am glad you are, to set me right, and to do yourself justice.'

'Oh! as to that, I should not presume to contradict anything your
lordship asserts from your own authority: where would be the use? I
leave it all to your lordship. But, as it is not particularly agreeable
to stay to hear one's self abused—Sir Terence! I'll thank you to hand
me my hat!—And if you'll have the goodness, my Lord Clonbrony, to look
over finally the accounts before morning, I'll call at your leisure to
settle the balance, as you find convenient; as to the leases, I'm quite
indifferent.'

So saying, he took up his money-bag.

'Well, you'll call again in the morning, Mr. Garraghty!' said
Sir Terence; 'and, by that time, I hope we shall understand this
misunderstanding better.'

Sir Terence pulled Lord Clonbrony's sleeve: 'Don't let him go with the
money—it's much wanted!'

'Let him go,' said Lord Colambre; 'money can be had by honourable
means.'

'Wheugh!—He talks as if he had the Bank of England at his command, as
every young man does,' said Sir Terence.

Lord Colambre deigned no reply. Lord Clonbrony walked undecidedly
between his agent and his son—looked at Sir Terence, and said nothing.

Mr. Garraghty departed; Lord Clonbrony called after him from the head of
the stairs,

'I shall be at home and at leisure in the morning.' Sir Terence ran
downstairs after him; Lord Colambre waited quietly for their return.

'Fifteen hundred guineas, at a stroke of a goose-quill!—That was a neat
hit, narrowly missed, of honest Nick's!' said Lord Clonbrony. 'Too bad!
too bad, faith!—I am much, very much obliged to you, Colambre, for that
hint; by to-morrow morning we shall have him in another tune.'

'And he must double the bag, or quit,' said Sir Terence.

'Treble it, if you please, Terry. Sure, three times five's
fifteen;—fifteen hundred down, or he does not get my signature to
those leases for his brother, nor get the agency of the Colambre
estate.—Colambre, what more have you to tell of him? for, since he is
making out his accounts against me, it is no harm to have a PER CONTRA
against him that may ease my balance.'

'Very fair! very fair!' said Sir Terence. 'My lord, trust me for
remembering all the charges against him—every item; and when he can't
clear himself, if I don't make him buy a good character dear enough,
why, say I'm a fool, and don't know the value of character, good or
bad!'

'If you know the value of character, Sir Terence,' said Lord Colambre,
'you know that it is not to be bought or sold.' Then, turning from Sir
Terence to his father, he gave a full and true account of all he had
seen in his progress through his Irish estates; and drew a faithful
picture both of the bad and good agent. Lord Clonbrony, who had
benevolent feelings, and was fond of his tenantry, was touched; and,
when his son ceased speaking, repeated several times—

'Rascal! rascal! How dare he use my tenants so—the O'Neills in
particular!—Rascal! bad heart!-I'll have no more to do with him.' But,
suddenly recollecting himself, he turned to Sir Terence, and added,
'That's sooner said than done—I'll tell you honestly, Colambre, your
friend Mr. Burke may be the best man in the world—but he is the worst
man to apply to for a remittance, or a loan, in a HURRY! He always tells
me "he can't distress the tenants."'—'And he never, at coming into
the agency even,' said Sir Terence, 'ADVANCED a good round sum to the
landlord, by way of security for his good behaviour. Now honest Nick did
that much for us at coming in.'

'And at going out is he not to be repaid?' said Lord Colambre.

'That's the devil!' said Lord Clonbrony; that's the very reason I can't
conveniently turn him out.'

'I will make it convenient to you, sir, if you will permit me,' said
Lord Colambre. 'In a few days I shall be of age, and will join with you
in raising whatever sum you want, to free you from this man. Allow me to
look over his account; and whatever the honest balance may be, let him
have it.'

'My dear boy!' said Lord Clonbrony, 'you're a generous fellow. Fine
Irish heart!—glad you're my son! But there's more, much more, that you
don't know,' added he, looking at Sir Terence, who cleared his throat;
and Lord Clonbrony, who was on the point of opening all his affairs to
his son, stopped short.

'Colambre,' said he, 'we will not say anything more of this at present;
for nothing effectual can be done till you are of age, and then we shall
see all about it.'

Lord Colambre perfectly understood what his father meant, and what was
meant by the clearing of Sir Terence's throat. Lord Clonbrony wanted his
son to join him in opening the estate to pay his debts; and Sir Terence
feared that, if Lord Colambre were abruptly told the whole sum total of
the debts he would never be persuaded to join in selling or mortgaging
so much of his patrimony as would be necessary for their payment. Sir
Terence thought that the young man, ignorant probably of business, and
unsuspicious of the state of his father's affairs, might be brought, by
proper management, to any measures they desired. Lord Clonbrony wavered
between the temptation to throw himself upon the generosity of his
son, and the immediate convenience of borrowing a sum of money from his
agent, to relieve his present embarrassments.

'Nothing can be settled,' repeated he, 'till Colambre is of age; so it
does not signify talking of it.'

'Why so, sir?' said Lord Colambre. 'Though my act, in law, may not be
valid, till I am of age, my promise, as a man of honour, is binding now;
and, I trust, would be as satisfactory to my father as any legal deed
whatever.'

'Undoubtedly, my dear boy; but—'

'But what?' said Lord Colambre, following his father's eye, which turned
to Sir Terence O'Fay, as if asking his permission to explain.

'As my father's friend, sir, you ought, permit me to say, at this moment
to use your influence to prevail upon him to throw aside all reserve
with a son, whose warmest wish is to serve him, and to see him at ease
and happy.'

'Generous, dear boy,' cried Lord Clonbrony. 'Terence, I can't stand it;
but how shall I bring myself to name the amount of the debts?'

'At some time or other, I must know it,' said Lord Colambre; 'I cannot
be better prepared at any moment than the present; never more disposed
to give my assistance to relieve all difficulties. Blindfold, I cannot
be led to any purpose, sir,' said he, looking at Sir Terence; 'the
attempt would be degrading and futile. Blindfolded I will not be—but,
with my eyes open, I will see, and go straight and prompt as heart can
go, to my father's interest, without a look or thought to my own.'