Julia shook her head, not in denial of his words, but at her own thoughts. If, incredible as it might seem, she did marry this man, she would have to conceal her own feelings. She could admit to herself now that she had from the start found him attractive. Her heart had always given a little jump when they met. But the sheer impossibility of anything other than mild friendship had made her clamp down on her emotions.
‘That does not mean you have to marry,’ she repeated.
‘No, but I cannot imagine ever feeling for anyone else what I felt - still feel - for Angelica. There was another consideration. It did not sway my decision, but it would have been satisfying.’
He grinned, then rose and walked across to the fireplace, holding out his hands to warm them. ‘My maternal grandfather was, to say the least, an eccentric. I was but three and twenty when my father died, and the old man, who maintained that all young men should be married to protect them from carnal temptation, left me his fortune on the condition that I must be married before I could enjoy it, and if I had not married by my thirtieth birthday, the money would go to my cousin, who had married when he was just twenty. The fact that my grandfather could not tolerate Daniel, and had not spoken to him for ten years, was irrelevant to him.’
‘Is Daniel the man with the cats?’ Julia asked.
‘You recalled that?’
‘I remembered the cats, after having avoided taking a position where I would have to groom them.’ I can recall every word you ever said, Julia added to herself.
‘Yes, he is,’ Sir Carey went on. ‘Of course, Grandfather was not to know that Daniel’s wife left him a month of so after he died. I doubt he’d have approved. I did not care so much about the money, I am wealthy and have quite enough for my needs, and plenty to support my wife and provide for my sisters. But when I met Angelica and we fell in love I was amused that our marriage would deprive Daniel of Grandfather’s legacy.’
‘When are you thirty?’ Julia asked.
‘In the middle of July.’
‘So you do not have a great deal of time to find a substitute wife,’ Julia said.
‘I was not looking for one. But I can see the advantages. Not just monetary, and the rather disreputable one of depriving Daniel of what he is expecting, but my sisters need someone older to guide them.’
‘Why should you think I am qualified to do that?’
‘You are of good birth, even if you have no money. I have watched and admired how you dealt with Lady Cunningham and her daughters. You will make an admirable wife. You have said you have little chance of marriage, apart from some impecunious curate. I can give you my name and my fortune, and in return you will act as my hostess and run my houses, and be an ideal companion to my sisters.’
‘I - I need to think about it,’ Julia said. ‘Pray will you excuse me?’
‘If it helps, I can promise you I will make no other demands on you,’ he said quietly. ‘I enjoy your company, but I will not insult you by pretending love for you. This would be a purely business arrangement.’
* * * *
Julia wept unrestrainedly when she was safely in her tiny bedroom. This was a dream come true, and yet she could not accept. He did not love her, and never would. He would always be thinking of Angelica. And one day, whatever he thought now, his love for her might fade, and he might meet someone else he could love. She would be guilty of ruining his life if she agreed to his proposal and married him, so depriving him of possible future happiness.
Oh, but it hurt! To have glimpsed such bliss, even for just a few moments, and then know it would not be hers, was agony.
Gradually, as the storm of weeping lessened, she began to imagine what life could be like as his wife. There would be no more need to earn her living, no irritable old ladies to placate, or children to teach in houses where she would be neither family nor servant. Even if he did not love her, she would be with him, caring for his needs, making friends with his sisters and guiding them. It would not be enough.
Many marriages were purely business arrangements, she told herself. If the couples she had met in Vienna were all really in love with one another, why did so many of them enter into liaisons? Gossip was rife, not just in Vienna, but in England. Even some of the formidable patronesses of Almack’s, those leaders of the
ton
, whose approval was so important in securing the success of any debutante, were rumoured to have been less than faithful to their husbands.
Her sleepless nights, together with the weeping, were too much. Julia fell asleep. It was dark when a knock on the door woke her.
‘Yes? Come in,’ she called out, looking in dismay at her crumpled and coffee-stained gown. It was Anna, another of the maids.
‘Sir Evelegh, the gentleman you went out with yesterday, he asks you to join him for dinner in half an hour,’ Anna said, and grinned conspiratorially. ‘He is handsome, is he not?’
Julia nodded. She must be strong and give him his answer.
‘Do you have a better gown?’ Anna asked now. ‘That one is too stained for dining with a gentleman.’
‘It’s the only one that was saved from the accident,’ Julia said. ‘What on earth can I do? There isn’t time to wash it, even if the stain would come out. I’ll have to press it and hope the stain doesn’t show too much.’
‘There isn’t time. You could borrow my dress. It is the one we wear for festivals, but it is pretty. I think he will like you in it. I will fetch it.’
Before Julia could reply she had whisked away to her own room, across the narrow passage. Within a minute she was back, holding out one of the regional costumes like the ones Julia had admired in Vienna. The skirt was black, but brightly embroidered, and when Anne held it out Julia saw that there were several frilly petticoats which just showed beneath the hem. There was a blouse, white with more embroidery round the neck, and full sleeves, and a short cape, black again.
‘Try it on. It should fit you, we are much of a size.’
Julia needed little urging. She had never worn clothes like this before, but anything was preferable to her stained and crumpled gown. The bodice had a low décolletage, but there were no strings for Julia to pull it up. When she tried to hitch it higher Anna playfully slapped her hand away.
‘No, the gentlemen like to catch a glimpse of the attractions they hope to enjoy,’ she said, giggling.
‘It’s not at all like that!’ Julia protested. ‘Sir Carey is merely an acquaintance who is helping me to get back to England. You know my situation, and the two people who are too ill to travel.’
‘Of course,’ Anna said, but could not suppress her amusement. ‘I will take your old gown and clean it if I can. It will be ready for you in the morning.’
‘You’re very kind,’ Julia said, and impulsively kissed the girl.
Anna giggled. ‘Save your kisses for Sir Evelegh,’ she advised. ‘He will appreciate them!’
* * * *
Sir Carey was dressing with more care than he had taken since he’d received Angelica’s letter. He suspected he had made a mull of it. From Julia’s reaction he judged she had not welcomed his proposal, and really, could he blame her? What girl would thank a man for telling her how much he had loved his former fiancée? Yet he had wanted to be truthful. He could not dissemble, and there had to be complete openness between them if they were to make a success of this odd marriage he was suggesting.
What further arguments could he employ? She was not mercenary. She would not accept him merely for the life he could provide, and to avoid the need to earn her own living. He respected her for that. He admitted he both respected and liked her. In other circumstances, if he had not met Angelica, and had been anxious to marry, he could easily have settled for her. Julia would not treat him to tantrums and the vapours whenever they had some disagreement.
He recalled her remark that she would find ways to punish a wayward husband, and smiled in amusement. He had no doubt she would have some ingenious notions. But even though their marriage would be a business affair, he would never subject her to the sort of gossip her sister had to endure.
Where was Sir Frederick? Was he still with his new mistress? Had they reached Russia, and what did he make of that country? It was not an easy country to understand, and he doubted Sir Frederick had the mental capacity to see beneath the surface of the Russian people, with their almost childlike ability to express their emotions without any reserve.
He supposed, if he married Julia, he would be expected to take an interest in her sister. That would not be impossible. He thought Fanny a pleasant, if weak woman, but the little girls were well mannered, easy to be with.
He cast aside yet another cravat. Why could he not tie one properly? Surely he was not nervous! He had not been nervous when he proposed to Angelica. But he’d known she would accept him, she’d shown her liking for him from the moment they’d met. Her father had welcomed the match, saying bluntly she was a giddy chit and needed a sensible older man to control her starts. It was her mother who, Sir Carey suspected, wanted a higher title for her daughter.
Julia’s acceptance could not be taken for granted. She had not appeared in any way pleased at his proposal, and perhaps it served him right for introducing the matter so abruptly. But he was anxious to get home, and surely she was too. They could be married here, and set off within a few days. He must, somehow, persuade her of the sense of his proposal.
* * * *
Mr Podger was tall and thin, not at all as his name had suggested to Fanny. Mr Pryce had asked him to call at the house to advise Fanny. She had not met him before, and although he was never less than professional, she had the impression he was sympathetic to her and condemnatory towards Frederick.
She had refused to see him while she was in bed, and despite Elizabeth’s reassurances that it would not be thought at all improper, she insisted on donning a loose robe and meeting him in the small but well appointed boudoir attached to her bedroom. Elizabeth, at Fanny’s pleading, sat with her and held her hand encouragingly.
‘Lady Cunningham,’ he intoned. There was no other word for it, she thought, striving not to giggle. Somehow her spirits lifted, and she smiled without any effort as she bade him take a seat.
After carefully inspecting the comfortable chairs scattered about the room he chose the hardest, which had been set before a small writing table. He turned it round and placed it six feet away from Fanny, then sat down.
‘I have to inform you I have not heard anything from your husband,’ he said. ‘However, in the circumstances I feel it my duty to ensure you and the children are not placed in a difficult situation. I am sure that is what Sir Frederick would wish, if his wishes could be known.’
‘Thank you,’ Fanny said. She was not at all sure what Frederick’s wishes would be, in his present state of infatuation with his Russian lover.
‘I intend to make you a quarterly allowance, to cover all your expenses, and those of the children. The bills for your household and Greystones will, of course, continue to be sent to me, and I will deal with them. The allowance is comparable to what you were accustomed to receive as pin money, enlarged in order to allow for any unforeseen charges you might face.’
He named a sum which left Fanny gasping. It was twice the pin money and dress allowance she had received from Frederick. She gave him a puzzled look, and he smiled briefly.
‘You will have unexpected expenses which, in normal circumstances, if Sir Frederick were here, he would pay. Such as hiring a carriage, when you can drive out, or to go to Greystones. However, if it is insufficient, you need only ask and I will arrange for the allowance to be increased.’
‘It’s too much,’ Fanny began, but Elizabeth interrupted.
‘Much too good of you, Mr Podger, and Lady Cunningham is most grateful. If there are any problems you do not care to bother Lady Cunningham with, my husband will be only too pleased to do whatever is needful.’
Fanny saw them look each other in the eye for a silent few moments, and then Mr Podger smiled.
‘I think that is all, ladies, so I will take my leave.’
* * * *
Julia, feeling horribly conspicuous in Anna’s brightly coloured clothes, went swiftly downstairs and into the parlour. When Sir Carey looked up and smiled, she detected amusement in his face.
‘I can’t help it!’ she exclaimed. ‘My gown had coffee stains on it, and isn’t fit for polite company. Anna, one of the other maids, lent me this.’
‘So at least you admit I am polite company,’ he said, and laughed aloud. ‘You look charming, my dear. Come and sit here beside the fire. It grows chilly tonight. I think we can expect a frost.’
Julia went where he indicated, and he sat on the chair opposite, the table between them.
‘Do you have just the one gown?’ he asked.
‘All my luggage was lost in the river,’ she reminded him. ‘Fortunately I was wearing my cloak, which the nuns cleaned and dried for me.’
‘Of course, I hadn’t remembered. That must be making life very difficult for you.’
She shrugged. ‘Yes, but many peasants have only one gown. I have grown accustomed to it.’
He looked at her steadily for a few moments, then walked towards the door.
‘Excuse me one moment. I need to speak to Herr Ritter.’
It was several minutes before he returned, followed by two maids bearing several platters and dishes. They set the table briskly, and then, bobbing a curtsey to Julia, retreated.
She felt embarrassed. Until two days ago she had worked alongside these girls. They had been wary of her at first, until they realized she worked as hard as any of them.
‘This looks like an excellent chicken. Will you have some?’ Sir Carey asked. ‘Or do you prefer some of the pie? It’s rabbit, I think. Have you developed a taste for the German sausages? I cannot say I appreciate them.’
‘A little chicken, please,’ Julia managed. They would eat first, apparently, and not introduce the matter between them. Later, she would tell him all her reasons. He had been honest with her, and deserved her own honesty. Apart from one thing, she hastily amended. She could never admit to him that she had any softer feelings for him.