The Adultress (23 page)

“What does she say … ?”

“Poor child, she is too stricken to say anything.”

“Does she mention me?”

“Yes. She loves you. I think it is partly because of you that she cannot face up to this situation. Oh, James, what can we do for her? If you could have seen her when I found her by the river. …”

His face was working with emotion. He was thinking only of Hetty now; for a moment he had forgotten the author of her troubles—but that would come later. James was a man of strong emotions; he generally kept them in check but he would want to find the man who was responsible for Hetty’s condition.

There was a long silence. I could not bear it and I said: “James, what are you going to do?”

He shook his head.

“James,” I went on, “you can help her … only you. This happened … such things do happen. … You can’t blame her. She is so young. … Please, James, try to understand. There’s so much at stake. I don’t know what she plans to do but I am afraid for her.”

Still he did not answer.

Then he turned away and walked to the door. I ran to him and held his arm. I could see that he was beset by conflicting emotions—bewilderment, dismay, fury, frustration … but I think there was love there … love for Hetty.

He looked at me and said: “Thank you, Zipporah. … You are good. … Thank you … but I want to be alone. …”

I nodded and he went.

Jean-Louis and I were silent for a few moments after he had left. Then I said to Jean-Louis: “When he knows it was Dickon, what then?”

Jean-Louis shook his head.

“He mustn’t be here,” I said. “He must go away. … Heaven knows what James might do. … He mustn’t know.”

“It can’t be kept from him. He’ll discover.”

“Not yet. He mustn’t, Jean-Louis. Dickon will have to go away for a while.”

“He never would. He would stay here and perhaps get some amusement out of the storm he has raised.”

“I see you know Dickon as well as I do. I was beginning to think everyone saw him through his and my mother’s eyes. He has to get away, Jean-Louis. I have to frighten my mother and Sabrina into helping us.”

“Yes,” said Jean-Louis slowly. “I see what you mean.”

“And there is little time to lose. I’m going to see them now.”

“Dearest Zipporah,” he said, “are you being a little hasty?”

“I think this is a situation which needs prompt action. If James discovers Hetty’s seducer he will be enraged. I fear there might be murder here. I am going to see them now.”

“You may be right,” said Jean-Louis.

“Come with me. Your voice will add weight to mine. They may think I am impulsive but they never will think that of you.”

When we arrived at the Hall we were relieved to find both my mother and Sabrina at home. When I told them what had happened they were astounded.

“I don’t believe it,” said Sabrina.

“The girl is making it up,” added my mother.

“Hetty is telling the truth,” I said. “You must know what Dickon is like. I have seen him with the servant girls.” I had a quick vision of him in the barn with Evalina and I went on: “Dickon could be in danger, that’s what I have come to talk about.”

That startled them.

“In danger … you mean … ?”

“Yes, I mean from James. James loves Hetty. I believe he was planning to marry her himself. It is not difficult to understand his emotions now. If he learns that the man in the case was Dickon … and he gets his hands on him …”

My mother had turned pale. “This is terrible,” she said. “I don’t believe for one moment …”

“There is no time to start protesting Dickon’s innocence. And I don’t want him to know that he is accused or he might refuse to go.”

“That surely would show his innocence,” said Sabrina quickly.

“No, it would show a mischievous desire to cause trouble.”

“And risk to himself?”

“And risk to everything and everybody. Please don’t let us have a tragedy here. I have come to ask you to take Dickon away … until James has calmed down. I don’t want Dickon to be here when he discovers.”

“She is falsely accusing Dickon.”

“She is not. Why should she? I know Dickon if you don’t. He wanted revenge for Hassock’s getting that land. I understand exactly how his mind works.”

In their hearts they knew, of course; and I could see that they were already coming to terms with what they called Dickon’s manliness.

But I had succeeded in alarming them.

“Sabrina,” I said, “you did mention that you might pay a visit to Bath to see the new springs they had discovered there.”

“Yes.”

“Please. Sabrina, go there …and take Dickon with you.
Please.
He won’t need any persuading. He loves to travel. Jean-Louis, I am right, aren’t I?”

“Zipporah is right,” said Jean-Louis. “She has Hetty now under her care. The poor girl was going to kill herself.”

“Oh no!” murmured my mother.

“Does James know?” asked Sabrina.

“Yes, but he doesn’t know who seduced her … raped might be a better word.”

“No!”

“Oh, please, this is not a time to pick and choose our words to make them sound nicer. Jean-Louis knows what happened. He has seen James with me. Dickon is old for his years. He is capable of fathering a child; I think he’s in danger. Do get him away!”

My mother was trembling. She said: “Yes, Sabrina, we must. I know it’s not really true but if he is
suspected
.”

They knew in their hearts that it was true. Perhaps they knew too that he had used Hetty to take his revenge on James.

Sabrina said: “I could leave in two days. I know he wants to come with me.”

“Two days,” I said. “But no longer, please. James mustn’t know until you are out of the way.”

Jean-Louis and I went home feeling exhausted. Hetty was still sleeping peacefully. I should be with her when she awoke; and I was going to keep my eyes on her for a while.

We did not see James. He was grappling with himself, I imagined. I was glad because I wanted Dickon out of the way before we met just in case we should let the truth escape.

Two days later I went over to Clavering Hall. Sabrina and Dickon had left for Bath. They planned to be away for two weeks.

I felt immensely relieved; and so did Jean-Louis.

Poor Hetty looked like a wraith. I told the servants that she had been very ill and I kept her alone in her room. I was with her a great deal. Sometimes she would not speak for a long time and when she did the confidences poured out. Dickon had terrified her. She had seen him assessing her even before the Harvest Home. She did not know how she could have let herself be taken into the shrubbery. She had been mildly enjoying the Harvest Home but regretting James’s absence when he had come up with the punch and forced it on her. Then he brought more for her. She had refused it and he had said “Don’t be a simple country girl,” or something like that, and foolishly she had taken the punch. She had been dizzy and he had said the fresh air would do her good and had taken her out. Then they were in the shrubbery and she grew more and more dizzy and could not stand up. Then … it happened.

“Oh, I was such a fool,” she cried. “I should have known. I thought I was wiser than the country girls … but I was not. And then he said that he would tell Lady Clavering that I had asked him to take me to the shrubbery. … She would have believed him. He said he would let everyone know what I was like. ‘Anybody’s for the asking,’ he said. Those were his words. And so I must go with him again. It was only when I told him that I was with child that he left me alone. …”

“There is evil in him.” I said. “But it’s over. Nothing can alter what is done. We have to go on from there.”

“What can I do?”

“My husband and I will arrange something. We’ll send you away from here. You can have the baby quietly … and then we’ll think again.”

“I don’t know what I should do without you.”

I said: “Something will be arranged. You have to think of the child. All this grieving is bad for it. You will love it when it comes. People always do.”

“But a child conceived in such a way,” she said. “
His
child.”

“The child will be innocent enough. But, Hetty, you must stop all this wild fretting. I tell you we will take care of you.”

She fell into weeping then and she said such things of me which made me ashamed. She would not believe that I was not a saint from heaven, and she brought home to me the extent of my own deceit and it was all fresh in my mind again.

James came over. I saw him arrive and ran to meet him.

“I can’t stay forever,” he said. “Where’s Hetty?”

“She’s here. Poor girl, she’s in a sad way. I worry about her a good deal.”

“Thank you for taking care of her … you and Jean-Louis.”

“Of course we will take care of her.”

“You know who it was, don’t you?”

I nodded.

“Please tell me, Zipporah.”

“James. I’m fond of you. We’re both fond of you … and of Hetty. This is terrible. Please, please don’t make it worse. Hetty needs care, tenderness … she’s bruised and wounded. Don’t you understand?”

“I do … and I want to take care of her.”

“Oh, James … that makes me so happy.”

“Bless you, Zipporah. I’ve grappled with myself. I was planning to marry Hetty.”

“I know. You love each other.”

“How could she … ?”

“She couldn’t help it, James. She was half intoxicated … she couldn’t hold him off. He overpowered her.”

“Who … who … ?”

I said: “It was Dickon.”

I saw his teeth clench and his face whiten. I was so thankful that Dickon was far away.

He turned as though to stride out of the house. “You won’t find him,” I said. “He and his mother have gone away. They’ll be away some weeks.”

“So he’s run away because …”

“No. He didn’t know that Hetty tried to kill herself.”

He winced. “Why didn’t she come to me?”

“How could she come to you? She thought you would never want to see her again.”

He looked infinitely sad and I went on: “Oh, James, you do … don’t you? You do.”

He nodded without a word. Then I put my arms round him and held him tightly to me for a moment.

“Oh, James,” I said, “please help me to heal this poor broken child.”

“I love her, Zipporah,” he said. “I love her.”

“I know, James. And how deep is that love? Is it big enough, strong enough … do you think?”

“I know it is.”

“James,” I said, “will you go to her now? Will you speak to her? Will you tell her that you love her, that you will look after her … that you understand? That’s the most important of all. To understand. It was no fault of hers. … If you had been there, it could not have happened. Oh, James, please,
please
.”

“Where is she?” he said.

“In her room upstairs.”

“I’ll go to her,” he said, “and, Zipporah, bless you.”

James was going to marry Hetty. Jean-Louis and I were delighted, but then came the blow.

It would be quite impossible for them to remain at Clavering. James could never trust himself near Dickon. Hetty never wanted to see him again. James’s uncle had recently died—it was his reason for not being at the Harvest Home—and his cousin wanted him to go in with him on the farm.

How we should manage without James was a great problem. We could get another agent, it was true, but James had been especially good and in view of Jean-Louis’s weakness we needed someone who was more than ordinarily good.

In time we found Tim Parker, who seemed to be efficient and keen, but we missed James in so many ways. Our consolation was that he and Hetty were settling down at the farm.

Three months after they left we heard that Hetty had had a miscarriage and three months after that that she was pregnant again.

I thought the child’s death was not such a tragedy after all because it would have been a constant reminder to them all through their lives. Now they had the opportunity to start afresh and I believe James, being the sensible young man he was, took it wholeheartedly and Hetty was grateful for all he had done for her.

When Dickon and Sabrina returned from Bath, which Dickon had thoroughly enjoyed, he took extra care with his clothes and turned into a dandy.

I hated him and in my hatred there was an element of fear. He was an evil influence on our lives, I was sure. My mother and Sabrina seemed to dote on him more than ever. He still professed a great interest in the estate and became quite friendly with Tim Parker. He was pleased that he had driven James away. He knew why, of course, and was secretly amused when he heard that James and Hetty were married. I think he thought he had shown James that no one could displease him and not expect to pay for it.

We had just had the news that Hetty’s son was born. We were settling down as well as could be hoped. Tim Parker was a good enough man so it had worked out not too unsatisfactorily. Then one day when I was in my stillroom one of the maids came to tell me that there was a young man below to see me.

I said he should be brought into the hall and I would come down.

He was not much more than a boy, and I thought I had seen him before.

Rather awkwardly he pulled his forelock and said: “Me grandad sent me. I’ve rid all the way from Eversleigh.”

“Your grandad?”

“Jethro, mistress.”

“Yes, yes.”

“He wants me to tell you, mistress, that he thinks you should come. There’s something going on up there that ought to be looked into.”

I
SENT JETHRO’S GRANDSON
back with messages for Jethro and Uncle Carl. I should be coming to see him and setting out before the end of the week.

Jean-Louis wanted to come with me but that would not be easy. Tim Parker was understandably not yet so conversant with the management of the estate that he could be left alone; also we both knew that Jean-Louis would find the journey exhausting and that this would be an anxiety for me.

What of Sabrina or my mother? wondered Jean-Louis. But since Hetty’s affair my relationship with them had undergone a change. They couldn’t quite forget my animosity towards Dickon and took it as a sort of affront to themselves. Perhaps the real reason was that I was afraid of what Jessie or Evalina would hint. In any case I knew that I had to go and I wanted to go alone.