The Advent Calendar (15 page)

‘These are prayers,’ she thought. ‘I’m listening to real people, saying their prayers.’

As she listened to each whispered cry and let go of the headphones, Alice found she shed a tear. She and Sam came together and held hands. They looked across the great chamber and heard in the gentle rustle the cries and prayers of thousands and thousands of people in different languages from every point on earth.

Suddenly Sam pointed. One of the creatures Alice had thought was a firefly had come close to them and landed on a tiny speaker nearby.

The creature was surrounded by a bright light. As it came to rest, Alice and Sam were able to see its shape for the first time. They gasped. At the centre of the ring of light, the size, it seemed, of a butterfly, was a tiny angel. Its six wings beat faster than they could see as the creature hovered in the air near the earpiece, listening to the prayer. Sam recognised that the language was Spanish and the voice was that of a young boy but neither he nor Alice could make out the words. The tiny angel listened to the grief and pain until the voice came to an end. It seemed to Alice that its light burned just a little less brightly as it attended to the prayer. Then, in a moment, the angel was gone leaving a trail of light behind it. This particular speaker was silent for a time. Then a different voice began in yet another language. This one sounded Indian, Sam thought. Another angel came and listened in the same way and then flew upwards like a spark and was gone.

Sam and Alice let go of each other’s hand again and walked forward, listening and watching the endless sequence of prayers from all over the earth, cries of the heart, spoken and yet heard. Gradually they began to notice that the pattern of lights on the floor radiated out from a central space like spokes on a wheel, so they let the pattern lead them and eventually it took them to the very centre of the chamber.

There, in the midst of the rough circle of light set into the floor were three wooden stools set around a dark oak table. JB stood up to welcome them and invited them to sit with him. He offered them draughts of cold water served in simple wooden cups. There was fresh bread and a wooden bowl filled with wild honey.

Sam and Alice felt strangely weary after walking only a little way through the chamber. The simple meal revived them. For some moments each of them ate in silence.

After he had swallowed the last of the bread and washed it down with the cold, refreshing water, Sam turned to face JB. ‘Tell us about this place,’ he asked, speaking softly. ‘Of all the places we have been, I think this may be the most strange and beautiful of all.’

JB acknowledged the truth of what he said with a sad smile. He spread his arms wide. ‘Behold the Chamber of Laments,’ he said. His deep voice seemed at one with the resonances in the great space, echoing softly off the distant walls and ceiling. ‘This is the place where the cries and tears of all the earth are heard. Each minute and hour, each day and night, each long and weary year every prayer that is offered in hunger or sadness or despair comes to this chamber and is heard.’

‘Can every prayer be answered?’ asked Alice, her eyes wide.

‘Every prayer is heard, child,’ JB said. ‘Each prayer which is the cry of a heart makes a difference. Each tear is counted. Many more are answered than you or I can know. But prayers are not like the wishes in your stories. Not all can be answered yet. There is too much that is still bitter and twisted and evil in the world. Too much is still to be set to rights. But the day will come. The day will come when the King returns and even this great chamber will fall silent for eternity. Then every sorrow and every sigh will flee the earth for ever.’

‘Who is this King?’ asked Sam. ‘When will he come?’

‘You do not know?’ asked JB, standing and looking at each of them. He smiled sadly and indicated they should walk together back towards the mirror. First Alice then Sam shook their heads.

‘You do not know? Yet your whole world is, supposedly, preparing to celebrate his birth. The very meaning of that birth is now forgotten. The story is retold as a fairy tale to children but they are no longer allowed to see its meaning.’

They drew near to the misty surface of the mirror suspended in the chamber. JB stood and faced them but continued speaking.

‘Two thousand years ago, the King was born. He lived and served and loved and died. But death itself could not hold him. He lives still and reigns in heaven and wherever on earth men and women welcome him as Lord. He has a people scattered through the earth who give their lives in the service of this kingdom. And the time is nearer now – nearer than it has ever been – the time is near when the King will return to set everything to rights. And even this great chamber will fall silent.’

As JB motioned again with his arm, both Alice and Sam took a final look around the great, sad and weary space. Countless thousands of prayers and cries expressing such profound sadness: the weariness of the earth laid bare. JB helped first Sam and then Alice through the mirror’s surface.

The front room felt very small and cold and empty after a place which was so sad yet so alive. Alice drew the curtains as Sam lit the gas fire. Then together they faced the calendar and looked.

The fourteenth door was open now. Just as Alice hoped, there in the doorway in a circle of light, hovering above the ground, was a tiny angel with six wings. If you looked very closely, you could see that its expression was (in a way that Alice could not understand) at the same time full of sadness yet full of hope.

15 December

On Saturday, Alice slept late and was woken by the sound of the doorbell ringing persistently.

She ran down the stairs. No one else was around.

‘Hi, Josie. Come on in.’

‘Is Sam up?’ Josie didn’t look too well.

‘Not yet. Shall I try and wake him?’

‘Please. Mind if I put the kettle on?’

Alice was already halfway up the stairs. She knocked at Sam’s door. ‘Sam. Wake up. It’s Josie downstairs.’

‘OK. Down in a minute.’

Megs stuck her head round the bedroom door. ‘Is that the time? Slept in. Alice, get dressed, pet. I think your father’s coming round this morning.’

By the time Alice came back downstairs, the house, it seemed, was full of people. Round the kitchen table sat Megs and Josie. Megs was dressed but her hair was all over the place. Opposite them, in T-shirts and boxer shorts were Sam and Andrew Watkins who had emerged from the front room. Everyone seemed to be getting on famously.

Alice’s nice Saturday mood evaporated instantly. She slammed the kitchen door as loudly as she could, stormed into the front room and went to switch on the TV. As she turned, Alice caught a glimpse of her reflection again in the mirror. To her horror, the dark stain on her left cheek and shoulder had now spread to the right side of her face and covered both her hands. Her clothes were also stained. She looked as though she hadn’t changed or washed in weeks.

Megs came quietly into the room with her cup of tea. ‘Alice?’ she said, quietly.

Alice grabbed two cushions, put them over her ears and stared straight ahead, eyes filled with tears.

‘Alice, I should have warned you Andrew was here,’ Megs began. ‘I would have done but I’d no idea he was going to stay over. He stayed in here.’

Alice bit her bottom lip hard, determined not to cry. ‘Alice, please.’

Alice turned her face into the sofa and her back to Megs, who touched her softly on the shoulder. ‘We’ll talk later, my love,’ she said. ‘Your father is coming at twelve. Andrew will be gone in half an hour. I thought we might get a tree later and put some decorations up.’

As soon as the coast was clear, Alice crept out of the front room and into the hall. She pulled on her boots and coat and scarf and charged out of the house without any idea where she was going. It was raining heavily. There was a stream of traffic heading into town and a bus just pulling up. Alice had some change in her pocket. She joined the queue and leapt aboard, paying for a single fare into town.

*********

Back at the house, Sam was the first one to notice that Alice was gone. Megs came back into the kitchen and announced Alice was sulking. Sam was pleased for his sister but felt for Alice having to meet one of her teachers over breakfast. He knew, as well, how badly Alice felt about Nick leaving and how his visits always upset her. As soon as he could, he made an excuse and went to find her.

The front room was empty. Sam, too, gasped as he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His reflected clothes were ragged and patched. Through the holes, Sam could see his knees and arms were caked in dirt. His hair looked as if it had not been washed in ages. There was a bruise on his left cheek. As he touched it, the place felt sore.

He turned away to look at the calendar, out of habit more than anything. He looked first at the angel from yesterday and then saw, to his surprise, that a new door had appeared already. The frame was made of thin metal and the door itself looked and felt like darkened glass. His phone was upstairs. The message must have arrived when he was having breakfast.

‘Sam,’ said Josie, coming in behind him, ‘can we talk? I came round this morning because I’ve got something important to say.’

‘Sure, yeah,’ said Sam. ‘Sit down.’

Josie closed the door. ‘It’s not very easy,’ she said. ‘I’ve not wanted to tell you. I’m really pleased we got back together. I’m really happy about the way everything’s worked out and that we’re going make a go of it and keep the baby.’ Josie rubbed her tummy as she said this and then took Sam’s hand.

‘I’d never have told you this before,’ Josie said. ‘But you’ve changed. You’re so much – just so different really. It’s just that while we were – you know – after we’d split up – I didn’t mean to – but I went one evening with my old friends and got together with someone else. It was just for a night. It didn’t mean anything. I was on a rebound. I’d had too much to drink. You know how it is. I just didn’t want there to be anything between us now, you know, we’re going to be parents…’

Sam sat quietly, head bowed, cheeks burning. Something inside him felt very hard and cold and angry and hurt. Another part was telling him that all of that was unreasonable and that he should be gentle and understanding. Just for the moment, the cold, hard part was winning. He could feel the harsh words bubbling and boiling their way to the surface.

Megs stuck her head round the door after she had said goodbye to Andrew. ‘Sam,’ she said, ‘have you seen Alice? She’s not in her room and her boots and coat are gone. I thought she might be in here with you. Sorry to interrupt, Josie.’

Sam checked what he was going to say but withdrew his hand from Josie’s. ‘I heard the door bang earlier,’ he said, ‘while we were all in the kitchen. I came in here to look.’

‘I’m really worried,’ said Megs. ‘She’s never just gone off before.’

‘She can’t have got very far,’ said Sam. ‘You stay at the house. Nasty Nick’s going to be here anytime. I’ll go out and look for her. Josie, we’ll need to finish this later.’

The last few words came out more sharply than he intended. Josie looked hurt. Megs winced.

Sam charged upstairs for his jacket and phone. There was a text message and a code: eleven, colon, thirteen. No time for that now. On the way downstairs he stopped to check in any case. No buttons had been pressed on the calendar. The surface of the mirror was hard and unyielding. There was no way Alice could have gone through without him.

‘I’m going. Give me a call if she comes back.’

Megs was pacing up and down in the kitchen, really worried now. Josie put the kettle on, anxious about Alice but also about Sam. Neither of them wanted to use the phone in case Alice tried to ring. The rain ran down the kitchen windows.

Sam looked up and down the street, stepping back every now and then to avoid the water thrown up by the cars. There was no sign of his niece. ‘Where would she go?’ he thought. ‘Alice hates being cold. None of her friends live nearby. She must have headed into town.’ There was no queue at the bus stop. Sam took his place in the shelter and hoped the next bus would not be long.

**********

Alice pressed her face to the bus window and let her tears flow. It wasn’t fair. All the adults in her life just lived their lives with no reference to her. Her stupid father got a new girlfriend so she and Megs had to move miles away. She was just getting used to that when Sam split up with Josie and she had to get used to living with him. Her dad only made contact when he felt like it – which wasn’t very often. Now Megs was clearly getting together with one of her teachers – the one half the school was in love with. Alice could imagine the taunts if it got out.

The bus arrived in the town centre and Alice got off. She mooched around for a while, not really thinking where she was going. The cold and the rain led her, with the rest of the crowd, to the indoor shopping mall. Everywhere was brightly lit. Everyone, it seemed, was shopping in twos and threes. No one else was on their own. Everyone was in a tearing hurry, rushing about, heads down.

There was a strange new shop, Alice noticed, on one side of the mall. The sign above the door read in small neat letters: ‘The Christmas Preparation Shop’. There was nothing at all in the window. Completely empty. Inside there was nothing on the shelves.

‘Strange,’ thought Alice. ‘Have they sold out already? Or is it so new that they haven’t got any stock yet?’

She pressed her nose up against the window. Around the sides of the shop were little cubicles. Each was equipped with a telephone, pens, envelopes and paper but nothing else. There were no customers – unlike every other shop in the mall which was packed out. No one else seemed to take the slightest notice. There was a kind of reception desk just inside the door covered in green fabric. Standing behind the desk, perfectly still, was a small dapper-looking man in a smart suit and a bowler hat. He caught Alice’s eye, smiled and raised his hat to her. Instantly, Alice looked away.

There was a coffee shop next door and Alice was now cold and hungry. She had dashed out of the house before breakfast. She had just enough money for a large hot chocolate, as well as the fare home. She paid for her drink, collected it from the end of the counter and looked around for somewhere to sit.

The only vacant seat in the place was at a table near the window. The tall scruffy man in a hooded coat who sat there had his back to her and was reading his newspaper.

‘Excuse me,’ said Alice. ‘Do you mind if I sit here? There’s nowhere else.’

‘Be my guest,’ said a deep, familiar voice. ‘Delighted to see you.’

‘JB!’ said Alice, genuinely pleased. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Drinking my coffee, reading my newspaper and waiting for you.’

‘How did you know I would be here?’ Alice asked.

JB just smiled and tapped the side of his nose gently.

‘What about Sam?’ she asked.

‘He’ll be along,’ said JB. ‘That’s why we’re in the window. Tell me about your morning. You’ve been crying.’

Alice told him all about it: Andrew Watkins, her dad, Megs, Josie, even Sam. ‘They all treat me like an object. They all expect me to fit in with them, whatever. So I ran away. Not for ever. Just to teach them a lesson.’

JB said nothing. He was, thought Alice later, a very patient listener. A moment after she had finished, she jumped as JB tapped on the window. There was Sam, just outside the coffee shop, his eyes scanning the mall. Alice suddenly felt extremely guilty.

As he heard the tap on the glass, Sam turned round and took in the sight. He was cross and relieved at the same time and marched into the shop.

‘Where have you been, young lady? Your mother’s worried sick. Running off like that without a word. I didn’t know where to find you. And haven’t we told you not to talk with strangers? No offence, sir.’

‘None taken,’ said JB, with a smile, throwing back the hood of his great coat. ‘But nor am I exactly a stranger!’

Sam gaped. ‘This is a very strange morning,’ he said. ‘The code arrived earlier. We can punch it in when we get back.’

‘No need,’ said JB. ‘What I want to show you today is right here.’ He held out some money to Alice. ‘Alice, would you mind getting Sam a cup of coffee while he sits down and takes all this in?’

‘No problem,’ said Alice.

‘Tall Gingerbread Latte,’ said Sam, looking a bit dazed, ‘with cream – and some ginger biscuits – if they have any.’

As Alice turned away, JB addressed himself to Sam. ‘So tell me what’s been happening with you today.’

‘Nothing really – just a normal Saturday. Megs has a new boyfriend. Josie came round. All fine – except for Alice running away. Hadn’t I better ring home?’

‘In a moment,’ said JB. ‘And that wasn’t what I meant.’

‘Oh!’ said Sam. ‘That. Not easy that one, JB. Josie told me she went with someone else. Hurts, you see.’ He tapped his chest.

‘I do,’ said JB. Alice came back with the coffee and biscuits.

‘It’s time you two learned the most important lesson about getting ready for Christmas.’

‘Presents?’ said Alice but without conviction.

‘Cards?’ said Sam, with even less.

JB shook his head. Both of them looked outside at the shoppers for inspiration.

‘Turkey?’

‘Tinsel?’

‘Tree?’

JB shook his head again and lifted his eyes to the ceiling. ‘Clueless.’ He took out a mobile and picked up a ginger biscuit, biting the end off. ‘Phone home, Alice. Let your mum know you’re safe and with Sam. We’ll be home soon. You finish your coffee,’ he smiled at Sam, dunking the biscuit.

The phone call to Megs was short and to the point. Alice still didn’t feel very warm towards her mum. Nick had just arrived apparently. Josie was still there.

Sam finished the last of his drink. Alice passed him a napkin and pointed to her top lip. ‘Cream moustache,’ she said, smiling for the first time that day. JB led them both out of the coffee house and into the doorway of the new shop Alice had seen on the way in.

‘I was looking at this before,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t seem to sell anything.’

‘Absolutely right,’ said JB, opening the door and leading them in. ‘It doesn’t sell anything at all. Everything in here is given away.’

‘So why is no one coming in here?’ asked Sam.

‘They can’t see it,’ said JB, sadly. He waved to the man behind the counter. ‘Mr Gabriel,’ he said, ‘this is Alice. I think you’ve met Sam.’

‘Miss Carroll,’ said Mr Gabriel politely, raising his hat. ‘Delighted. Heard so much about you. Mr Brown. Pleased to see you again, sir. Congratulations on the journey so far. We are most impressed, sir, madam.’

‘Suffering sea snakes, we’ve met before,’ said Sam. ‘Hamleys. The Calendar Department.’