Read The Affair of the Mutilated Mink Online

Authors: James Anderson

Tags: #General, #Fiction, #Mystery & Detective, #Detective and Mystery Stories, #England, #Burford; Lord (Fictitious Character), #Country Homes, #Motion Picture Industry, #Humorous Fiction, #Traditional British

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BOOK: The Affair of the Mutilated Mink
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'Thirty miles from the sea?'

'Well, a coiner, or whatever branch of villainy is the most popular down here. What did you make of all that rigmarole?'

'About the big house? Bad hats in every old family. Legends grow up around them. Don't die out for generations.'

'I was really thinking of what she said about Lady Geraldine. Do you suppose she's insane, or something? Dabbles in black magic? Takes drugs?'

'I would guess nothing so dramatic. Probably she's just a maneater - one of those depraved young women one reads about, around whom no male is safe.'

'I see.' Gilbert nodded slowly. 'Yes. That's quite possible.' He unconsciously raised a hand and patted his hair. 'I wonder if you're right. It'll be interesting to find out, won't it?'

Maude Fry sniffed.

Chapter Five

Arlington Gilbert and Maude Fry arrived at the house fifteen minutes later. Merryweather conducted them to the morning room. But before he could announce them, Gilbert marched past him into the room. Rather more slowly, Maude Fry followed him.

Just inside the door, Gilbert paused and stared round appraisingly. 'Yes,' he said with a decisive nod, 'this would be ideal for the proposal scene. Though all this Regency stuff will have to go. Make a note, Miss Fry.'

'Yes, Mr Gilbert.' Maude Fry took a pair of blue-tinted spectacles from her bag, put them on, got out a notebook, wrote in it, then put both glasses and book away.

Meanwhile, the Earl, seeing his wife begin to swell visibly, hurriedly stepped forward, holding out his hand. 'Ah, Arlington, how are you?'

Gilbert's eyebrows rose slightly. 'Tolerably well, thank you, er, George. Nice place you have here.'

It was Lord Burford's turn to look decidedly surprised. 'Oh, thanks. Let me introduce you.'

'Don't bother, George. I'll soon find out who everybody is. Jupiter's teeth, though, I could do with some coffee! I'll help myself.' He strode across to where the coffee things were laid out.

The Earl rejoined Rex Ransom and Haggermeir, while Lady Burford, taking sudden pity on the rather lost-looking Maude Fry, went across and spoke to her.

Lord Burford lowered his voice. 'Strange feller, that,' he murmured to Rex. 'Called me by my first name.'

Rex said, 'Well, actually, you did call him by
his
first name.'

'I didn't. I called him Arlington.'

'That's right. Arlington Gilbert's his name.'

The Earl snapped his fingers in irritation. 'I keep thinking it's Gilbert Arlington. Dash it, it ought to be! Oh, drat - suppose I've got to keep it up now. It'll seem as if we're bosom friends.' He turned to Haggermeir. 'Do you know him well?'

'Not at all. But I made some inquiries after he called. He's quite well-known as a solid all-around writer. Had a couple of successful plays in the West End some years back and wrote quite a few film scripts. Hasn't done anything recently. Said to have made enough to live on and is working on a big epic novel.'

'And you'll be using him on
The King's Man
?'

'Looks like I may have no choice,' Haggermeir said grimly.

'I see. Still, I suppose if he can provide Mr Ransom with a good script we'll have to put up with him.'

'Surely,' Rex said, 'if you call him Arlington, you're going to call me Rex, aren't you?'

Lord Burford's face lit up. 'Really? May I? Oh, I say. I'm, er, George.'

Rex bowed. 'Glad to know you, George.'

 

* * *

 

By the time Gerry and Hugh arrived at Alderley the little party in the morning room had broken up, the guests having mostly retired to their rooms to unpack. Hugh went straight to his room and Gerry sought out her father.

'Did Gilbert arrive?' she asked.

'Arlington? 'Fraid so. Why?'

'Did he ask about me?'

'Yes, wanted to know when he'd be meeting you. Why?'

'What did you say?'

'Probably for drinks before lunch. Why?'

'Good. Mummy won't be there then, will she?'

'Doubt it. Why?'

'You'll see.'

'Look, what are you up to?'

'Never mind. Just don't be surprised at anything about me.'

'Ever thought of trying to make it in pictures?' Rex asked.

Paul laughed. 'Good heavens, no.'

'Why not think about it? You've got the looks and the physique.'

'For one thing, I can't act for toffee.'

'Don't let that stop you. It didn't stop me.'

'Oh, no false modesty, my dear chap,' Lord Burford said. 'You know you're one of the world's great actors.'

Rex gave an exaggerated start. 'Jumping Jehosophat! Hey, Cyrus.'

Nearby, Haggermeir, a dry martini in his hand, was conversing with Cecily. He looked up. 'Yeah?'

Rex said, 'Just say that again, will you, George - slowly and distinctly.'

'Certainly.' He did so.

'D'you hear that?' Rex asked triumphantly. ' "One of the world's great actors." George, you've made a buddy for life. You're the only person - apart from my ma - ever to say that. And she doesn't say it too often. Just once in a while to try and convince herself.'

'Be careful, Lord Burford,' Haggermeir said, 'that's the way to wreck his career. If Rexy once gets it into his head he can act he'll want to start proving it. And
Hamlet's
box office poison.'

Lord Burford scratched his head. 'I don't understand. You mean you don't think he's a good actor?'

'Wa-all.' Haggermeir shrugged.

'But you amaze me, my dear fellow. To me he's every bit as good as Errol Flynn.'

'Can't hold a candle to Rin Tin Tin, though,' Rex said with a grin.

Quite perplexed by this, the Earl looked round the room. Cecily had moved away and was talking to Maude Fry, while Gilbert had cornered Sebastian and was holding forth on the iniquities of literary agents, emphasising his points with a series of prods to the chest, at every one of which Sebastian took a little step backwards. Standing alone, his face set in a scowl, was Hugh.

Lord Burford was wondering if he should go across and talk to him, though the young man's demeanour didn't suggest he'd welcome this. The Earl was just wishing Gerry would come in when the door opened and she entered.

Everyone glanced automatically towards her - and there was an abrupt silence.

Gerry had changed out of the tweed suit and brogues she'd been wearing earlier and was now attired in a slinky, tight-fitting dress of black satin and very high-heeled shoes. Her face had been almost free of make-up before, but now her eyes were painted with mascara and her cheeks were rouged. Her hair was swept upwards to the top of her head. She was smoking a cigarette in a six-inch holder. She crossed the room in a sinuous, undulating walk.

Lord Burford closed his eyes, Paul coughed into a handkerchief and Hugh stared in horror.

Gerry made a straight line for Gilbert. He watched her approach with the fascination of a rabbit watching a snake. Gerry stopped in front of him, gave him a long, cool stare, slowly exhaled a lungful of smoke and said softly, 'Arlington Gilbert.'

She held out her hand in a regal gesture. Uncertain whether to shake it or kiss it, Gilbert compromised by taking it and giving a sort of half bow. 'At your service, Lady Geraldine.'

'I have long been an ardent admirer of your work, Mr Gilbert—'

Then, as he straightened up, gazing at her with a mixture of gratification, alarm, admiration and bewilderment, she broke off and said in a decidedly frosty voice, 'Mr Gilbert, you are looking at me as though I were something the cat had dragged through a hedge backwards. Why?'

Gilbert gave a start. 'I beg your pardon, Lady Geraldine. It's just that - there was a girl in the village earlier . . . Jupiter's teeth, it's incredible!'

'I see nothing incredible. There are many girls in the village.'

'But this one was — forgive me — the absolute image of you. In a bucolic way, of course.'

'But naturally.'

'I'm sorry . . . ?

'Mr Gilbert, my family has held sway over this district for hundreds of years. Until quite recently they virtually had powers of life and death over the peasantry. Even today there are hundreds of them dependent on this estate. My father is certainly the first lord of the manor of whom - unfortunately - the great majority of them are not absolutely terrified.'

For a moment Gilbert looked blank. Then comprehension dawned. 'I see. And you mean that your ancestors exercised this power, er, liberally?'

'Of course. You could no doubt find half a dozen girls in the vicinity who bear a resemblance to me.'

Gilbert chuckled. 'That sounds as though it would be a very worthwhile pursuit. But why did you use the word 'unfortunately' just now?'

Gerry took his arm and drew him to one side. She spoke softly. 'My father cares not a fig for power. If he did, the mere terror of our name would mean we could control these people as our forefathers did.' Her voice grew harsher. 'They could not get away with their present laziness and insolence.'

'Insolence? Well, I must admit that girl I mentioned was unusually cheeky.'

'Tell me: was she employed at the garage?'

'That's right.'

'Pah!' Gerry banged a nearby table with her fist. 'That hussy is one of the worst. And they say she is the one most like me in appearance. She no doubt made disparaging remarks about me. The things I'd like to do to that girl! Oh, for the power my great- great-grandmother had! Do you know what she did once to a serving wench who'd displeased her?'

Gilbert shook his head.

Gerry put her head close to his and whispered in his ear. As he listened, Gilbert's expression changed. He gave a gulp. Gerry drew back and gazed at him with satisfaction.

And you'd, er, like to do the same to that garage girl?'

Actually, I can think of some interesting refinements.'

Gilbert gave a sickly grin. 'I must say I'm sure your peasants don't appreciate just how lucky they are to be so free.'

'They'd better enjoy it while they can.'

'Oh, yes?'

'Yes. You see, I know of several ways in which our - or rather,
my
- dominance over them could be asserted as in old times. Absolutely reasserted - body
and
soul.'

For a moment Gerry's eyes shone with a fanatical light. Then suddenly this faded and she was giving Gilbert a warm smile. 'However, that's enough of me. Mr Gilbert, did I say how very great an admirer of your work I am? I do feel I'm going to become just as keen an admirer of you as a man. Do come and sit down and tell me all about yourself.'

And she put a hand on his and drew him unprotesting but bewildered across the room to a sofa.

 

* * *

 

Over lunch the atmosphere at Alderley grew considerably easier. Lord Burford, basking in the fact that he and Rex were now 'buddies,' had lost all his nervousness and was his usual self. Rex meanwhile concentrated on exerting all his considerable charm on Lady Burford, and in spite of herself the Countess could not help gradually softening under the impact.

The fact that Gerry was playing a hoax on Gilbert had also got round among the other guests, and everybody was waiting with anticipation for the next development. However, for the time being she contented herself with remaining largely silent and throwing him long and meaningful looks from under her lashes.

It was towards the close of the meal that Merryweather entered, bearing a silver salver on which was a telegram. He took it to Haggermeir.

As Haggermeir read it his eyebrows went up. 'What in tarnation . . . ? This doesn't make sense. Lady Burford, it seems you may be having another guest shortly. I think you'd better read this.' He passed it to her.

Lady Burford picked up her lorgnette and read aloud, 'Invitation accepted. Arriving Alderley Thursday afternoon. Lorenzo.' She gazed at Haggermeir. 'Who is this person?'

'Search me.'

'You don't know a Mr Lorenzo?'

He shook his head. 'And if I did I'd certainly not invite him here without your permission.'

'How very strange,' Lady Burford said.

Gerry said, 'May I see?' She took the telegram. 'Handed in at a London post office. No address of sender. Quite a mystery.'

'Well, we certainly won't sit around waitin' for the chap,' Lord Burford said. 'What d'you all want to do with yourselves this afternoon?'

'Well, I know what I want to do,' Rex answered, 'and that's to see your famous gun collection.'

Haggermeir nodded. 'Me, too.'

The Earl looked delighted. 'Oh, capital. Great pleasure. Anybody else? Arlington?'

Gilbert nodded condescendingly. 'I don't mind.'

'Sebastian?'

'Oh.' Sebastian looked doubtful. 'Guns? Will - will - will they be going off? Can't stand bangs, you know.'

'There is a firing range up there, and I may demonstrate one or two. But I'll give plenty of advance warning, so anyone who wants to leave can do so.'

'Oh, right. Jolly good.'

'Am I invited?' Cecily asked.

'Oh, of course, my dear. Didn't think you'd be interested. Ladies aren't very as a rule.'

'I can't say I am normally. But your collection is world famous, and I would like at least a glimpse of it.'

'Splendid. Any more for the Skylark? Hugh?'

'I don't like guns,' Hugh said shortly.

'Oh, as you wish, my boy. Paul - you saw it last time you were here.'

'Yes, but I didn't do it justice. I'd love to have another look.'

Hugh glowered at him, 'On the other hand,' he said loudly, 'I understand the craftsmanship on some of these old pistols is very fine. I'd like to see them from that point of view.'

Lord Burford looked pleased. 'That's everybody, then. He glanced round the table, counting on his fingers. 'No, that's wrong. Who did I leave out?'

'Me, I think, Lord Burford.' It was the quiet Maude Fry who spoke.

'Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Fry. You're very welcome, of course.'

'Thank you. Like Mrs Everard, I should be interested in at least a glimpse.'

It was therefore a party of eight which, half an hour later, Lord Burford led up to the first floor. At the top of the stairs he turned right. Halfway along the eastern corridor he opened a pair of double doors on the right and led the way through a long gallery, which ran most of the outer side of the wing. It was lined with painted portraits and was unfurnished, except for a number of sofas and upright chairs against the walls.

The Earl crossed the gallery to another door opposite. This was the entrance to the top floor of the eastern extension, the ballroom being beneath it. Lord Burford unlocked it with a key attached to his watch chain, saying as he did so, 'Live ammunition in here as well as the guns, so I always keep it locked.'

Immediately beyond the door was another one. The Earl unlocked this one also, then stood back and ushered his guests through.

They found themselves at the end of a long, delightfully proportioned room, with French doors leading onto a balustraded balcony at the end, beyond which the lake could be seen.

BOOK: The Affair of the Mutilated Mink
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