The Alpha Bet (20 page)

“You are the only thing about the Alphas that I’m not going to miss,” I say, too quietly for Sloane to hear. I can only hope that when I leave the Alphas, Sloane will give up her personal mission to destroy me.

I slip back into my empty dorm room to get dressed. Jentry got a phone call from Eve telling her to get to the Alpha house right away. I thought it was kind of strange that I didn’t get a call but I guess I better start getting used to it.

I decide on jeans and a McMillan College sweatshirt with my hair pulled up in a ponytail and no makeup. I leave my Alpha pin lying on the dresser inside my closet. I’m coming back to the room after I talk to Charlie to get all of my Alpha mementos to return when I tell them the truth.

I’m waiting for the elevator when I notice a neon green poster reminding students that the deadline to submit their entries for the science fair is the last night of Thanksgiving break. How could I have forgotten? How will it look if last year’s winner doesn’t submit an entry? And not just any entry but something mind-blowing.

The stress of everything is too much. My mom was right. I am completely overwhelmed. I just want to hide out in my parent’s house and never come out. I know that wouldn’t solve anything and is completely immature, but I don’t even care.

The elevator doors ding and open. Blurry-eyed I start walking onto it and run into someone.

“Oh, I’m really sorry,” I say, looking up into Charlie’s face.

“Just the girl I was looking for,” he says, guiding me back out of the elevator into the lounge.

****

Neither of us say a word but settle into an overstuffed couch.

“I was just coming to find you,” I tell him.

“Me first,” he insists. “I should never have spoken to you like that. I’m so sorry,” he says, taking my hand and rubbing it against his face. Touching him feels amazing, especially since I never thought I would get to do it again. “I don’t care that you lied.”

“I do. I’m so sorry that I drug your family into this,” I say embarrassed.

“Are you kidding? My aunt would be flattered.” He laughs.

“It was wrong and I’m going to fix it tonight.”

“One mistake doesn’t make you a bad person, Grace Kelly.” I wish I could believe him.

“You do what you have to do, but don’t do it because of me. I’m not going to say a word,” he promises, zipping his mouth shut with an imaginary zipper.

“It’s time. I would rather the sisters find out the truth from me.” My decision is made and I don’t even feel nervous about it anymore.

“I don’t really care if you’re an Alpha. I just want to be with you,” Charlie says, making me glad I’m sitting down because I probably would have collapsed. “If you need me after you tell the Alphas, I’ll be at the Omega house,” he says, leaning over to kiss my cheek. He gets onto the open elevator, looking back once to wink at me. I lean back into the couch cushions, nearly giddy.

Suddenly, I feel someone watching me. I turn to see Sloane at the entrance of our hallway, fire blazing in her eyes. In all my excitement over Charlie forgiving me for lying, I had forgotten all about him lying to me.

I don’t have the energy to even think about what is going on between Charlie and Sloane right now. I have to get to the Alpha house and finally tell them the truth. I make my way, slowly, back to my dorm room. I don’t think I have ever dreaded anything as much as I dread telling the sisters that I lied to get into their sorority. I’m not stupid enough to think that they will let me stay in the sorority, I just hope, in time, they can somehow forgive me.

My phone rings in my pocket right as I’m turning the door handle to my room. I pull it out of my pocket to see Jentry’s name on the screen. I slip it back into my pocket, unanswered, because I know she will just try and talk me out of what I’m about to do. And it wouldn’t take much convincing for me to keep lying. I have to make this right.

I load up my messenger bag with all the picture frames, T-shirts, and other Alpha paraphernalia. I’m sure the Alphas won’t want me keeping any of it. I attach my pledge pin to my sweatshirt, knowing that the next time I touch it, I’ll be taking it off for good.

I check my reflection in the mirror. I look almost as pathetic as I feel. I’m locking the door when my phone rings again. It’s Jentry. The girl is nothing if not persistent. I ignore it again already feeling my resolve weaken. I shake it off and head out of the door toward the Alpha house.

My heart is beating in overdrive as I make my way across campus. I know I should be shivering in nothing but a sweatshirt to protect me from the bitter November air but my adrenaline is flowing so fast that I don’t even feel the cold wind.

I can make out the battery-operated candles that Lindsay just put in all of the Alpha windows. I am supposed to help her decorate the house for the holidays tomorrow, so that everything is up when we return from Thanksgiving break. I guess she’ll have to recruit someone else now because after tonight, I will never be welcome in this house again. I walk up to the giant front door and grasp the gold handle. I can’t bring myself to squeeze it to let myself in. I have to sear this last moment of being an Alpha into my mind.

My phone rings again, breaking my concentration. This time it’s Charlie and I can’t even begin to deal with that situation on top of this one so I let it roll to voicemail. I squeeze the handle and let myself into the Alpha house for the last time.

It is oddly quiet when I walk into the foyer. Usually the house is filled with laughter coming from all areas of the house. I can’t help but feel the ominous vibe has something to do with my lie. I secure my messenger bag on my shoulder and head toward the great room. I stop dead in my tracks when I see every single one of the sisters gathered there.

“We were beginning to think you’d abandoned us,” Lindsay jokes, coming up beside me to  usher me into the room. I try to gauge the expressions of the girls. Did they find out the truth? Are they all waiting here inflict some terrible retribution on me? My stomach starts to roll until I realize that the girls actually look happy to see me. Giddy almost. Some of them seem ready to bounce right out of their chairs with excitement. This isn’t the behavior I would expect from girls who have found out they have been lied to for almost three months. Which makes what I have to do even harder.

“What’s going on?” I ask, locking eyes with Jentry. The look she gives me nearly brings me to my knees. Something is very wrong.

“Girls,” Lindsay says, gesturing to Eve and Amber who are standing at the other entrance to the room looking like they are about to pee in their pants.

“Okay, so we wanted to surprise you because you only have three tasks left and you’ve been such an awesome pledge,” Eve begins.

“Actually, she only has one task left now,” Amber says, confusing me.

“Oh, right,” Eve agrees. “We wanted to do something really special. So…,” she draws out nearly killing me with suspense. Just when I think I can’t handle the pressure of not knowing what is happening anymore, a loud crashing noise comes from the foyer and Charlie comes bounding into the great room looking flushed.

“Grace Kelly,” he forces out, panting hard. Charlie is a seasoned runner so I know he must have run from pretty far away to tell me something very important. He looks at the sisters then leans down to whisper in my ear. Eve acts like she doesn’t see him and continues.

“We invited your aunt to the house,” she screams, jumping up and down. I look to Charlie, then Jentry, with utter desperation as Edwina Fay herself strolls into the great room.

“So, you’re my niece, huh?” She says, staring me down in front of everyone. My messenger bag slides off my shoulder and crashes to the ground destroying the picture frame inside, sort of like my life.

My first thought is that Edwina Fay is much prettier in person. My second is that Charlie looks a lot like her. My third is that my entire life just combusted. I’m too stunned to even speak. Edwina hugs Charlie while keeping a close eye on me. After Charlie pulls out of his aunt’s hug he drapes his arm supportively around me, which I appreciate, as I feel that I could crumble into pieces any minute.

“Grace Kelly, what’s going on?” Lindsay finally asks.

This is it. It’s really over. The minute I admit to what I’ve done I go back to being geeky Grace Kelly who spends her Friday nights studying. But at least that girl wasn’t lying to anyone. I’m more embarrassed about who I’ve become than I ever was of that geeky girl who liked to study so much.

“L is for liar,” I begin. I guess tasks E and F are complete now that Edwina Fay is here. That just leaves T, not that I’ll get a chance to complete my tasks now. “I’m not really a legacy. I don’t even know Edwina Fay. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I just wanted in the Alpha house so bad.”

I thought the sisters would scream and yell at me when they found out they had been betrayed but no one says a word. Jentry has silent tears rolling down her face. Lindsay looks like someone knocked the wind right out of her. The rest of the sisters just keep looking back and forth at each other like someone is going to tell them this is all a big joke. Sloane stands in a back corner smirking. I can’t imagine how thrilled she must be. She didn’t even have to destroy me, I did that all on my own.

“I don’t understand,” Lindsay says coming closer to me. “I verified your status with Nationals.”

“I called and pretended to be Edwina Fay,” I lie. I hate to keep lying but there is no way I’m ratting Jentry out for doing me a favor. Edwina Fay raises her eyebrows, obviously disturbed by my level of deceit.

“The truth is, I just wanted to find a place I felt comfortable. I’ve never really felt comfortable in my own skin, but I did when I was with all of you.” I look around to each and every sister, avoiding Sloane. Every pair of eyes is filled with disappointment. “I’m so sorry,” I say, looking at Edwina Fay. She gives me a tiny smile filled with pity and nods her forgiveness. I bend down to grab my messenger bag and hold it out to Lindsay. She takes it tentatively, obviously still stunned. I pluck my Alpha pin out off my collar and hold it out to her. She hesitates then gently takes it from me. I leave the Alpha house for the very last time.

****

I cry until my tear ducts are completely empty. Okay, that actually isn’t humanly possible unless you are on the brink of death from dehydration, which I feel like, but obviously am not.  Just two weeks ago I was shopping for an initiation dress with Jentry and now I’m all alone on the fourth floor of the library surrounded by dusty, old books. I needed to find a safe place and this is the only place I could think of.

I feel a little bit like Pluto. One day things are going along fine and you’re still a planet then WHAM! Somebody decides you aren’t. Okay, so maybe my situation isn’t completely similar but being stripped of my Alpha status sure feels like it.

“Here you are,” Charlie says, startling me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, wiping furiously at my damp cheeks.

“I wanted to make sure you were alright. That must have been tough.”

I just shrug my shoulders and try to brush off the scene that just played out at the Alpha house like it was any other normal night.

“They aren’t mad at you,” Charlie insists, taking hold of one of my hands.

“Yeah, that’s what Henry the VIII’s second wife thought, too,” I add.

“Seriously. They’re just confused. You didn’t have to lie, you know. They would have picked you anyway.” Charlie runs his other hand across my jaw line and it feels so good that for a second I forget to feel guilty that I drug him and his family into my desperate attempt at acceptance.

I close my eyes and focus solely on Charlie’s touch. Maybe things won’t be so bad. I mean, Jentry is still my best friend. My classes are going great. My relationship with my mom has never been better. And best of all, I still have Charlie. Wait.

I jerk away from Charlie’s touch like he scalded me. “We can’t be together,” I say, suddenly remembering that my age could get him into big trouble.

“Says who?” He asks, looking amused.

“Um, the law,” I respond, rolling my eyes.

“You aren’t the only person who has ever graduated high school early, you know,” he says teasingly.

“What? You?” I ask shocked.

“I started here last year when I was only sixteen. I just turned seventeen over the summer. We don’t have to worry about the age thing for a while,” he reassures me.

If I had any tears left I would probably cry knowing how long I tortured myself to stay away from Charlie so that I wouldn’t get him into trouble.

“It’s going to be alright,” Charlie tells me, moving closer. Before I can respond, his lips are on mine, making me believe every word.

****

An hour later, I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed waiting for Jentry to come home. Making out with Charlie calmed my nerves for a while but as soon as I got back to our room I just wanted to know what was happening at the Alpha house. I didn’t dare try to call Jentry while she was with the sisters. I’m already afraid that she may be in trouble by association.

I bolt off my bed when I hear her key in the lock. I yank the door open and nearly scare her half to death.

“I’m pissed at you,” she says, breezing past me. I take my time shutting and locking the door, almost afraid to turn around and hear what she has to say. Losing the Alphas is hard enough, but losing Jentry would be unspeakable.

“I called you so many times to warn you,” she yells, kicking the bag of clothes I have packed for Thanksgiving break. My parents are supposed to be coming to get me tomorrow but I’m tempted to make my way to the bus station tonight.

“They would have found out anyway,” I tell her, avoiding her eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell them that I’m the one who pretended to be Edwina Fay on the phone?” She screams. I look at her to see tears streaking down her cheeks. I feel like someone used my stomach to practice karate chops on. This whole time I thought the only person who would be hurt by my lie was me. Now I see that I hurt the sisters, Charlie, Edwina Fay, and worst of all, Jentry. The one person who was there for me as Grace Kelly or GK.