The American Lover (10 page)

For some reason, Caleb seemed to relax when I told him this. It was weird the way I seemed to be able to open up to him. No one outside my family had any real idea about the state of my private finances, and yet I'd divulged pretty much everything to Caleb in the space of a few minutes.

“I guess it is, but at least you’ve been left secure.  Your husband certainly did right by you,” he stated with obvious approval.

“Yes, but Drew used to worry about covering all the insurance payments, as well as all our other bills and commitments. That’s one of the reasons he rode his motorbike to work, so we didn't have the expense of running two cars. But I’d rather be broke and still have him here, than have him killed in a motorbike accident just to save a few pounds,” I whispered.

Caleb reached across and gripped my hand.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get upset this evening. That’s the last thing I intended.”

“It’s okay. You know, for some reason I don't mind talking about Drew with you, and it seems to help. That’s if you don't mind - I know it’s all a bit odd,” I tried to explain.

“No, I don't mind at all. In fact, I’m real glad you feel able to open up, so please don't think talking about your husband with me is in any way taboo. And you know, from what you’ve told me about Drew, I think I'd have liked him, as he kinda reminds me of my brother Seth.”

“That’s a nice thing to say,” I murmured.

“Well, in case you hadn't noticed, I am actually quite a nice guy.” Another flash of that gorgeous smile of his.

“Yeah, I guess you are,” I smiled back. “So, your turn now. Seeing as I’ve filled you in a bit about Drew, perhaps you could tell me something about your wife in return. What was she like?”

Caleb’s smile disappeared in an instant.

“
Ex
wife. And there’s nothing much to say about Cassie. My marriage had been dead in the water for a long time even before the divorce. And now it’s been dealt with, all done and dusted.”

Caleb’s expression froze as he quickly slipped a mask of indifference into place. He obviously still had deep issues, seeing as he found it hard to even broach the subject of his ex-wife.  Clearly the subject of Cassie was
not
all
done and dusted, however much Caleb might try and kid himself. Trust me, I knew all about avoidance tactics.

“How long were you married before you got divorced?” I stubbornly persisted, determined to try and gain at least a little more personal insight into the man that I was potentially going to be sleeping with tonight.

“About seven years,” he begrudgingly told me, as he scowled and took a large slug of his drink.

“Any kids?”

“No, thank Christ. Look, I really don't want to spend our date talking about Cassie. All I can say is that in the long run, my ex did me a favour, because she opened up my eyes and made me look at the world more realistically.”

Made you look at the world more cynically
, I couldn’t help thinking. That she had hurt him really badly was blindingly obvious. And for that, I instantly hated her, this Cassie. But I knew better than to let any kind of pity show, knowing instinctively how much he’d hate that.

“So you concentrated on ruthlessly working your way into the top echelons of the mighty American Western Bank,” I smiled.

“Pretty much,” he agreed, his tension dissipating once we moved onto what was obviously a much more comfortable topic for him.

“Are you based in San Francisco permanently?”

“For now. I was based in New York for a while last year, but I've relocated back to California at present.”

“Do you have your own place?”

“Yes, I do.  I had to sell the house Cassie and I jointly owned in order to give her half of the equity as part of the divorce settlement, so it took me a while to get settled again. She wanted every penny she could get from me, and even though she was the one who cheated, that’s what the courts granted her. I also had to take care of all kinds of debts she’d secretly run up behind my back, because I was the primary card holder. Boy, she really took me to the cleaners.” I could hear the bitterness in his voice. “But now I’m back on top of things again. I’ve bought myself a condo in San Francisco, which will be a good investment even if I end up relocating with my job again, because I can easily rent it out.”

I realised that while we’d been easily chatting away, our meal had come and gone, and now a heart shaped chocolate torte dessert had appeared in front of me.

“I don't think I can manage this,” I sighed, as I pushed it away.

“Are you for real? In my experience, women love anything involving chocolate,” Caleb commented in disbelief.

“Oh trust me, I love chocolate.  But I don't want to feel sick by forcing myself to eat too much, not when I'm already sick with nerves,” I confessed.

“Honey, you have nothing to be nervous about.” Caleb reached over to squeeze my hand reassuringly. “Tonight is all about relaxing, letting go and enjoying yourself.”

Just then the DJ started up.

“To all you lovers out there this evening, here’s a track to help get you in the mood for some romance…”

James Blunt’s ‘You’re Beautiful’ started playing.

“Oh dear lord, how corny is that?” My nervous moment passed, as I burst out laughing.

“Shocking, I gotta agree,” Caleb grinned back, as he polished off the last of his dessert. “But very appropriate, as it happens. Have you any idea how beautiful you look tonight, Faith?”

“It’s okay. You don't need to bother with any kind of flattery, seeing as I'm the one who made the first move here.  I propositioned you, remember?” I arched my eyebrows as I took a small sip of my champagne.

“For the record, I don't flatter or make glib compliments just to get laid, Faith,” he frowned.

“No, I don't imagine you need to,” I murmured.

The next track to come on was Charlie Rich’s ‘Behind Closed Doors.’

How very apt. We were surrounded by couples, and that’s how we must appear to everyone else, even though we were anything but.
Appearances can be very deceptive.  

“Dance with me. We can get some coffee later. Come on, Faith.”

Caleb stood up, grabbed me by the hand and led me over to the small dance floor. The DJ winked at us as Marvin Gaye’s ‘Sexual Healing’ started booming out.

“Really?” I laughed as I shook my head. “Could this get any cheesier?”

“Hey, Marvin’s a classic for a reason,” Caleb grinned back, as he took me in his arms. I found myself pulled up against his broad, solid chest, with one of his muscly arms around my waist, the other holding my hand as he entwined his fingers with mine. He was so much taller than me that I was glad I’d decided to wear my boots with heels, to at least add a couple of inches to my height, as he gently tucked my head under his chin and then effortlessly started moving us around the small dance floor.

“You’re a good mover, I’ll give you that,” I murmured against his chest. No doubt that scored him a lot of points.  The general consensus amongst most women was that if a guy had good moves and rhythm on the dance floor, chances were, the same would apply in bed.

“Just let yourself go and relax, Faith. Forget about everything else, just be in the moment, here with me,” he whispered. He pulled me even closer, so my breasts were pressed right up against him, then he ran his hand over my hip, up to my waist, and then back over my hip again. Caleb was checking out my curves, and by his soft growl of approval, he seemed to like what he found.  That made me feel like a proper woman again, rather than the sexless lump of nothingness I seemed to have been for the longest time.

I closed my eyes. This felt so good.  I hadn't been held or touched like this in such a long time. The way Caleb was holding me wasn’t about being consoled or comforted, it wasn’t in any way connected with grief.

This was about a woman and a man, enjoying each other, making each other feel good, appreciating each other’s differences.

Might be corny as hell, but I had to give it to him, Marvin had got it right. This was all about sexual healing. 

As Caleb very softly nuzzled behind my ear, my breath hitched as a surge of longing and desire swept through me, catching me by surprise, as feelings that I’d almost forgotten existed reached right down to my deepest innermost lady parts. My libido was suddenly being woken out of its deep hibernation, as wonderful, exciting feelings began to surface and make me feel alive again, properly alive for the first time in so very long. 

This was exactly what I needed, to submerge all the grief and sadness of the last two years.  All I wanted was to enjoy this physical closeness, to give myself over to the pure simple pleasure of being this close to a man’s body.  I just wanted to absorb the thrill of anticipating where these feelings were leading.

“You have no idea just how incredibly sexy you are, Faith,” Caleb whispered, making no attempt to prevent his very obvious erection pressing into me, a wicked little smile playing on his handsome face as he ground his hips into me. He was proving that he wanted me. Really wanted me.

And that made me feel incredibly empowered. A guy like Caleb, turned on by little old me.

As we carried on dancing for a few more tracks, I didn't really take too much notice of what they were, or of anyone else around us. I was too busy letting myself absorb the sensations as Caleb subtly let his hands explore my body, while I did the same with his.

I felt the tautness of his waist, the hardness of his chest, the broadness of his shoulders. He felt the curve of my hips, the dip of my waist, the fullness of my breasts pressed against him. 

Everything was going well so far, but I needed to check something else out.  I reached up and pulled Caleb’s head down to softly kiss his lips, to test my reaction to kissing someone who wasn’t Drew. I had to know if I was going to find it too weird, before things went any further.

As our lips touched, I didn't recoil in horror, as I feared I might. Our first proper little smooch felt nice, really nice in fact, and I wanted more, much more, as smouldering desire quickly leapt into red hot flames.

Now there was no hesitation, no doubt in my mind. I was really going to do this. I needed this, I needed to lose myself with Caleb, to forget everything else except this basic life force washing over me, now that I knew that it hadn't been extinguished. Despite everything that had happened, I still carried that primal need to bond with another human being.

“If it’s okay with you, I’d really like to carry on kissing you, but I think we need to head somewhere more private first,” Caleb whispered in my ear, his close proximity making my nerves tingle and zing.

“I want that too,” I whispered back. “I want us to take things to the next level.”

“You’re sure, Faith?”

I didn't answer. Instead I pulled back, took his hand, and made for the exit.

***

Tension stretched between us as we made our way upstairs to Caleb’s room.  Sexual tension, humming loudly.

As we stood in the lift, I toyed nervously with the handle of my overnight bag, thinking to myself that
overnight
might be a rather optimistic assumption.

Caleb opened the door to let me in, and as he flipped on the light, I couldn't help noticing the very large bed that dominated the room.  But before I could hesitate and get myself too hung up about exactly what that signified, Caleb took me in his arms and kissed me.

It was a deep, hungry kiss, demanding and passionate, leaving me in no doubt about what was going on between us.

But then he paused and gently took my face in his hands. Big, soft, warm hands. Nice hands.

“Are we still good here?” he whispered, his amber eyes full of concern.

So then I flipped.

I was done with everyone being concerned about me, checking up on me, worrying about me.  I didn't want Caleb to stop, I didn't want time to think about anything else. I didn't want time to make comparisons with someone else whose name I didn't even want in my head right now.  All I wanted to think about was what my body was screaming out for.

Sex. Raw, hot sex to totally blow me away.

“Don’t mollycoddle me, Caleb. What I want… what I
need
, is for you to fuck my brains out.” I saw his eyes widen in shock. “I’m not made of glass, I'm not some delicate little flower, and I know what I want, why I’m here in your room. All I want is for you to make me forget
everything
.”

A slow smile spread across his face.

“Well, well, Faith Jackson. Seems you’re one of those prim looking little girls who’s got a dirty, dirty mouth in the bedroom. And I gotta say, that is so fucking hot…”

He picked me up and threw me down on the bed, then quickly undid his cuffs and pulled his shirt off over his head in one quick, well practised movement.

Wow. Broad shoulders, toned abs, slim waist and snake hips with that sexy V muscle definition that disappeared into his jeans, along with a tidy smattering of dark chest hair. 

I was so busy admiring Caleb’s body, that it took me a moment to realise he was unzipping my boots to take them off.