The American Lover (25 page)

“Christ, that feels too fucking good,” I groaned, thinking I’d be shooting my load any minute at this rate. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her hands round my neck as I picked her up from the worktop and made for the bedroom.

“I really need you inside me, so just get on and fuck me,” she demanded as I threw her on the bed and quickly stripped off her jeans and panties, before stripping my jeans off too.

“So, what's it to be?” I asked breathlessly, as I stood naked before her by the bed and held up the condom I’d retrieved from my jeans pocket. I’d managed to pull myself back from the edge now, and I was determined not to let us just be swept along by passion without getting Faith to admit what there was between us. “I don't do mindless fucking any more, I'm not interested in quick lays. However, I
am
prepared to make love to you, but only if you’ll accept that’s what it’ll be, Faith.  Making
love
.”

“I’d say your cock says otherwise,” Faith teased, as she knelt up and reached for me. “In fact, I'd say your cock is
very
interested indeed in giving me a quick fuck.”

“Oh no you don't,” I grinned as I stepped back out of her reach, knowing I wouldn’t be able to hold back if she managed to get her fingers wrapped round my length again. “Please, Faith. No more messing around. No more dirty talk. Let me hear you use the ‘L’ word. Please. Ask me to make love to you.”

The atmosphere changed, as Faith realised that I was being deadly serious.

“This is really important to you, isn’t it?” she said quietly.

“Yes, it is. This is the moment when you start accepting that we
are
falling in love, and where you allow it to happen.”

“And if I don't?”

“If you turn your back on us? If you refuse to accept what I’m offering you here?”

“Yes. What will you do, Caleb?”

“Then you’ll leave me no option, Faith. I’ll have to walk away, leave you to your choice of a solitary future on your own.”

“I see.”

“So, what’s it to be?”

“Oh Caleb, there’s really no choice to make, is there? So, will you please make love to me now?”

***

“You are amazing in bed, Caleb,” Faith was resting on my chest afterwards, gently running her fingers through my chest hair.

“Glad you think so,” I murmured.

“Well of course you are - you do know that, don't you?” She’d obviously picked up something doubtful in my tone.

“My ex wife wouldn’t agree. In fact, Cassie told me I was useless in bed, along with the fact that she found me physically repulsive,” I confided.

“
What?
You? Never!” Faith exclaimed, as she pulled back to look at me.

“Yep, and actually at the time she was right. I'd gotten lazy, neglected to take care of myself, so I'd put on a lot of weight. And as far as sex was concerned, in all honesty, things had never been that great between us. We didn't communicate, never told each other how we really felt, or what we wanted.  And as I didn't have that much experience before I started dating Cassie, in hindsight I guess she was right, I was a pretty crap lover,” I confessed.

“You are kidding me, right? No one starts out as an expert, but part of the fun in the beginning is experimenting together, so you can figure out what works, and what doesn’t, for both of you,” Faith pointed out.

“We stopped experimenting pretty early on, after Cassie made it plain she wasn’t keen on a couple of things we tried, and I guess I lost confidence after that. Like I said, we were never very good at communicating or talking about anything important.  Looking back, I just assumed we wanted the same things, without actually ever checking with Cassie.”

“But how could she possibly not find you attractive, even if you had put on a few pounds?” Faith asked in apparent disbelief, as she ran her hands over my chest and arms.

“Back then, I’d put on a lot more than just a few pounds, because I’d stopped making time to exercise regularly, and so I’d gotten pretty unfit.  Flabby, was how Cassie described me, and when I took a long hard look at myself, I couldn't deny she had a point. So, after the divorce I got myself a personal trainer, and set about getting back into shape. I also got to thinking maybe she also had a point about me being too boring and sensible, so instead of carefully investing my hard earned bonus as I always had, I decided there was no reason I shouldn't have a new, fun car for a change, instead of my usual practical choice. Next, I invested in some sharper suits to update my image, which got me noticed and undoubtedly helped my career progression. So I guess in the end, maybe I ought to be thanking Cassie.”

“But what I don't understand is that didn't you tell me that Cassie was a fitness instructor? So surely she could’ve given you some constructive help to get you back into shape?” Faith puzzled.

“You’d think, wouldn’t you? And if she’d been interested enough, maybe she would’ve. But instead she told me she would prefer it if I didn't use the gym at the health club where she worked, because she ‘needed her own space’, so that was part of the reason I got out of the habit of exercising. Turned out that’s where she picked up her lovers, so no wonder she didn't want me around to spoil things for her,” I elaborated.

“And you had no idea?”

“None whatsoever at the time, although looking back it was pretty obvious.  I guess hindsight has a way of giving you twenty twenty vision,” I commented.

“Well, whatever your ex-wife may have said about you in the past, Harry certainly thinks you’re hot, and can't understand why I’m not jumping on the next flight over to the States to be with you.  But I told her, it’s not that simple,” Faith sighed.

“Actually, it
is
that simple. Just stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and think about everything that could go right instead. Can't you see how we could be really good together? You got things right with Drew, so you could show me how to do things a whole lot better this time round, kick my ass if I start messing up, that kind of thing. All I know, Faith, is that everything that was missing with Cassie, I’ve found with you. She was never my best friend, whereas you and me, we talk all the time, we communicate, we’re comfortable and relaxed with each other, we even seem to know what the other is thinking a lot of the time. I like being with you, I enjoy your company. You have a really clever brain, which I find incredibly attractive, because it makes you stimulating and challenging. And on top of all that, we have this amazing chemistry between the sheets.  I love how you don't just lie there, you aren’t afraid to tell me how you like things, and what you want me to do to you. I love how you shock me sometimes, that you aren’t as shy and delicate as you appear to be at first. And I fucking love how you’re confident enough to take the lead sometimes. I find that a real turn on.”

“Wow. I can't believe this is me you’re talking about,” Faith murmured. “After all the women you’ve been with, that you could have the pick of…”

“I don't want that kind of lifestyle anymore.  I’ve got all that out of my system, it was just a knee jerk reaction to a fuck awful divorce. Now I’m ready to put down roots, because I want a home, a wife, a family to come home to.  That’s what I always wanted; what happened between me and Cassie just clouded my judgement for a while.”

“I don't know what to say. This has all come out of nowhere, and what you’re asking of me… it’s huge. …” she hesitated. “You’re a good man, Caleb, and you don't deserve half measures, not after the way Cassie treated you. I just don’t know that I’m capable of giving you what you want.”

“Six months. That’s all I’m asking for, to start with anyhow. Keep your place here in London for now, just take the job, come to the States, give it your best shot. And in those six months, let’s put everything we’ve got into seeing if we can make things work between us.  However things work out, at least we’ll know we tried, and not be left with a huge ‘what if’ hanging in the air,” I pleaded.

“And if things don’t work out, if I decide I want to come back to England…?”

“Then I’ll have to let you go, if that’s what you really want,” I reluctantly conceded, but only because I was determined to do everything in my power to make her stay. “What have you got to lose? At the very least, you’ll have some impressive experience to add to your
résumé
. Just say yes, Faith. Six months. You can give me that, can't you?”

C
aleb stubbornly refused to give up on his plan to meet my family before he went back to the States, which knowing my family as I did, was very brave of him, all things considered. I really wasn’t that keen on the idea, as turning up with him would send out a pretty strong statement about us, while I would rather have kept things quiet and not involved my family just yet, at least until I had a better idea of how things were working out.

But Caleb would have none of it, so in the end, I reluctantly took him home one evening when quite a few of my family would be there. It was the only time that worked in before Caleb had to go back to the States, but unfortunately, it had been planned as a girly evening to discuss the floral arrangements for Bryony’s wedding with Mum’s cousin Jeannette, whose hobby was flower arranging. Alec and Paul, my sisters’ other halves, had made arrangements to meet up with a gang of mates at the local pub to watch some big rugby match, so that meant the only other male present would be Dad, but even that didn’t seem to faze Caleb.

I’d only agreed to bring him along on the clear understanding that he’d let me handle things in my own way, that he would  follow my lead, and not say anything until I gave him the go-ahead.  I’d also warned him to expect a less than enthusiastic response to our news.

“No worries, I’m sure it’ll be fine. And anyway, you’re forgetting I’m used to negotiating hostile takeovers,” he joked.

Naturally, my family were very curious about this ‘friend’ I wanted to bring along, and about this important news I had, but all I would say in advance was that Caleb was a work colleague from America, and that I’d explain everything in due course. 

I watched with some amusement as everyone gawped in amazement when I walked in with Caleb, but I’d purposely timed things to arrive late, so we’d be sitting down to eat pretty much straight away after just a few quick introductions, rather than giving everyone the opportunity to launch into their version of the Spanish inquisition.

But trust my dear old dad to have other ideas.

“Well, Faith, it seems you’ve been keeping us all in the dark, so why don't you fill us in about exactly why you’ve brought Caleb along this evening? What’s going on, what's the big mystery?”

Dad had never been known for his subtle approach, so I took a deep breath as I gripped Caleb’s hand to remind him not to get drawn into any kind of explanation just yet.

“All in good time, Dad,” I smiled calmly. “Can’t we just appreciate the lovely meal I'm sure Mum’s spent ages preparing first? There’ll be plenty of time for talking once we've finished eating. So please, no haranguing of guests, okay?”

Dad raised his hands to signify his capitulation, although he still rolled his eyes.

Caleb valiantly did his best to chatter politely while we ate the roast dinner Mum had produced - things like where he was from, details about his family, how he was enjoying his trip to England, how great our museums and art galleries were, that kind of thing. Bless him, he somehow managed to be the epitome of good manners, while sidestepping the real reason for our visit.

While Caleb was occupied speaking to my mum, cousin Jeanette caught my eye, and nodding towards him, she gave a thumbs up, along with a wink and a sly grin. Obviously Caleb met with her approval anyway, and she gamely tried to take the heat off and run some interference for us by talking through the various merits of different types of wedding bouquets, table arrangements and so forth, but I could tell no one was really giving her their full attention.

My family were obviously bursting with curiosity about this hunk of male gorgeousness I’d brought along, but I resolutely stuck to my guns and refused to be drawn, even though I knew Caleb was itching to get on with things.

Once the meal was over, I was planning a quick getaway as soon as possible after I’d dropped the bombshell about relocating to California, and more crucially, about this new relationship between Caleb and me.

That they were going to be totally shocked and incredulous was a given. 

I was still in shock myself, having finally given in to Caleb’s stubborn persistence to give things a go between us.  Now all I had to do was convince my family that I was certain I was doing the right thing, which was going to be hard, seeing as I was still trying to convince myself.

Once we’d eaten, and were still sitting around the table, I nodded to Caleb, finally giving him the green light to open up about our plans. 

“Well, first off, I want to thank you all for kindly allowing me to join you in your home this evening at short notice, and I have to say that was a wonderful meal. Mrs. Ashridge, you sure are a great cook,” Caleb smiled at Mum.

“You're most welcome, Caleb,” she smiled back, thawing just a smidgeon, clearly not immune to a little flattery about her culinary skills

“Now, I know you must all be very curious about the news that Faith and I wanted to share with you,” he continued.

“You can say that again,” murmured Megan.

“Well, I’m very pleased to be able to tell you that Faith will be taking up the role of Systems Integration Manager at American Western’s head office in San Francisco, initially for six months, just as soon as everything can be arranged,” he began.

“What! But I thought you’d turned that down…at least that’s what you told us,” Mum exclaimed.

“Yes, that was initially the case, Mrs. Ashridge. However, I came over to London to ask Faith if she would reconsider, as there were other factors she needed to take into consideration.”

“Reconsider… what other factors?” Bryony frowned.

“You should know that while Faith and I have been working together, a friendship has developed between us - a close friendship.” Caleb smiled as he reached over and took my hand in his. “And I believe this friendship has the potential to develop into something pretty special.  So that’s why I came over, to ask Faith to reconsider coming over to the States, to give this budding relationship between us a chance.”

“You…and
Faith
?” Bryony scoffed, as she looked first at Caleb, and then at me.
Yeah, I know, I’m punching well above my weight, sis.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Bry,” I snapped. Although I was expecting that reaction from some people, I had hoped that my own sister might have been a little more supportive and a little less incredulous.

“I’m sure your sister didn't mean it like that, Faith,” Mum quickly stepped in. “No offence Caleb, but you have to appreciate that this has come as quite a shock to us, so it’s hard for us to take in, as Faith hasn’t mentioned anything about this… relationship between you before now.”

“I can only apologise for that, Mrs. Ashridge.  And I can certainly appreciate your concern for your daughter, and that’s exactly why I wanted to come and introduce myself to you all, and for us to bring everything out into the open.” Caleb responded calmly.

“So, you say you’ve been working together?” Dad frowned.

“Yes, that’s correct, sir. First off when I came over to London, and then again when Faith came out to San Francisco. We also kept in touch between times too.” Caleb explained.

“Caleb’s a senior executive at American Western. He started off mentoring me, and things just developed from there,” I elaborated.

“I see. I take it you're not married then?” Megan asked bluntly, as she glanced down at Caleb’s hand, obviously checking for evidence of a wedding ring.

“No, I’m divorced. Have been for a couple of years now.”  I was probably the only person to notice the way his jaw clenched at the mention of his divorce, but it was enough. He didn't deserve to be put through the wringer, so I decided it’d be less painful if we didn't drag this out any longer than was necessary. They’d met Caleb, they’d been told of our plans, duty done, now we could make our escape.

“Look everyone, I know this has been sprung on you, but surely you can see that since I’m jobless here in the UK, it makes good sense to give this job in San Francisco a shot,” I told them. “And to be honest, it’s early days between me and Caleb, so I probably wouldn’t have said anything yet, but he’s the one that insisted you lot should be told, he’s the one that wants to be open and upfront with you all.  So I think he at least deserves your respect for that, don’t you?” I glared round at them all.

“Of course, Faith, no need to be so defensive,” Dad responded.

“And my mind is made up, the arrangements have been set in motion, so whether you like it or not, I
will
be going to California for the next six months,” I stated firmly. I saw Caleb open his mouth, probably to say something about me possibly relocating permanently, but I shot him a pointed look to indicate we should leave things there, as this was more than enough for my family to take in for now.

“Well, looks as if we’d better get used to the idea, if you’ve already made up your mind,” Mum sighed as she shook her head. “I just hope you’ve thought this through properly, Faith, that you aren’t rushing into anything you're not really ready for, especially as you haven’t even taken the time to talk it through with us. It’s a big step to take for someone like you…”

“What’s that supposed to mean, ‘someone like me’,” I bristled at Mum’s inference.

“Faith, don't get on your high horse,” Bryony said. “All Mum means is that you’ve always had us nearby to call on, but if you go out to California, you’ll be too far away for any of us to be of much help to you.’

“Look, I know I’ve relied heavily on you lot since Drew died, but maybe that’s become a problem, maybe I've become too reliant. You’ve all been wonderful to me, but maybe now the time has come for me to learn to stand on my own two feet again.”

“I’ll be there with her every step of the way, giving my full support, you have my word on that,” Caleb chipped in. “And there’s no reason why you can't come visit any time you wish.”

“Why don't Caleb and I leave you girls to it, give you a chance to talk things over, while we men go out and get a breath of fresh air. That okay with you, Caleb?” Dad piped up.

“Er…sure, Mr. Ashridge,” Caleb agreed. 

Well, what other option did the poor guy have, but it meant our chance for a quick exit had vanished, as he got up from the table and followed Dad out through the patio doors to the garden, heading for the sanctuary of his precious garden shed, no doubt with the intention of them having some kind of man to man chat.

The second they were out of ear shot, Mum, Bryony and Megan wasted no time in letting me know that they thought it would be utter madness to disappear off to California with this unknown Yank for six months.

“Look, I can't deny this Caleb fella seems nice enough, and no one could deny that he’s really good looking, but in all honesty, Faith, you hardly know him. How do you know you could depend on him, when you'd be so far away from home?” Bryony stated disapprovingly. 

“Caleb and I have worked together for a while now, and he’s one of the most dependable people I know, actually.  And the whole point of me going out to the States is to get to know him better, while I take advantage of this great job offer,” I explained through gritted teeth. “And you know, I am quite capable of coping on my own. I'm not a baby, I'm a grown woman in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Yes, but after everything you’ve been through, you need the support of your family around you, because we know you better than anyone,” Megan said condescendingly, as she patted my arm. “We’re just looking out for you, that’s all, and it’s hardly sensible for you to allow yourself to be swept off your feet like this by a virtual stranger, and an American to boot.”

“So what if Caleb’s American, what’s that got to do with anything? And he’s not a stranger, we know each other pretty well, actually. You think you know all about me, but you really don’t,” I muttered, thinking of everything we’d shared that they were unaware of.

But that was exactly Caleb’s point, that was why he was so insistent we couldn’t keep everything under the radar if we were seriously going to try and make things work between us.

Bottom line – he no longer wanted to be my dirty secret.

“Total transparency. I told you, no secrets or lies of any kind about us, to anyone, including family.”

Although I respected his stance, right now it was making things decidedly awkward. I couldn’t help thinking it might have been better if I’d just told my family about the job offer, but kept our still very tentative relationship to ourselves for now.

“Darling, I just don't see what the big rush is for you to take this job in San Francisco, especially as I thought you’d decided you were going to go back to college to retrain as a teacher instead
. No, Mother, that was just wishful thinking on your part
. That seems a much more sensible option to me, especially as we could all use our experience to help and guide you,” Mum argued in her best sensible and patient teacher’s voice, the one she used with her more difficult pupils. “Although Caleb seems a nice enough young man, how well do you really know him? What on earth do you have in common? Also, as Bryony pointed out, there’s the distance. Do you really think this would be a wise move, being so far away from all the familiar surroundings that you hold so dear?” Mum was alluding to the fact that I’d refused to move out of the flat that Drew and I had shared after he’d died, even though they’d wanted me to move back home with them.