The Amish Nanny (53 page)

I
cried when I told Morgan farewell at the airport.

“We'll see each other again,” she said. “I'll come to Lancaster County someday.”

She promised to write letters—the old-fashioned way. I tried to return her copy of
Jane Eyre
, saying I could get it at the library to finish, but she insisted I keep it. “Finish it,” she said. “And when Christy is older give it to her.”

We couldn't thank her enough for all of her help.

“You were our rainbow after the storm,” Alice said, alluding to a Plain proverb. “Our true friend, indeed.”

Morgan modestly said it was nothing. As she hugged me, she added, “I'll be praying for you. Every night. That you'll soon know God's plan for your life.”

“Thank you,” I answered, and I assured her of my prayers for her also. Then I told her I wouldn't be coming back to Switzerland.

“What?” she gasped softly. “What about Daniel?”

“He knows. I told him this morning.”

She studied my eyes for a long moment and then said, “Are you sure?”

“He's not the man for me,” I answered, shrugging. Then I winked. “Though I do know someone he might be the perfect man for…”

From the shy tilt of her lips and the vivid red splotches on her cheeks, I knew she understood that I was giving my permission—and my blessing.

“We'll see,” she whispered, hugging me again.

Inside, the airport was incredibly intimidating, but Will acted as though he knew what he was doing. The rest of us simply followed his lead, showing our passports when we checked our bags and then again as we entered the security area.

Alice was scandalized at the thought of giving up her shoes, but Will was patient and gentle with her, explaining that she'd get them back in just a minute, as soon as they'd been X-rayed.

Sure enough, after we'd all passed through a metal doorframe one by one and received an approving nod from the man in uniform there, we returned to the conveyor belt where our things were just emerging from the machine. Christy and I were both wide-eyed at the speed and efficiency of it all.

With Will again taking the lead, we found our gate, sat in a row of chairs, and waited there, much as we'd waited together for the train trip that had marked the beginning of this entire journey. As we did, I couldn't help but think about how much had changed since then, how far we'd all come in our own ways. Glancing at Will, I realized that our time together in Europe had bonded us somehow and only served to make me love him more. With all we had been through, how was I ever going to get over this man now? I turned away, telling myself that somehow God would give me the strength. Certainly, I would never be able to do it on my own.

When it came time to board the plane, I put thoughts of Will from my mind to focus on this new, final adventure, one I had never dreamed that I would experience in my lifetime. Once I got home, I'd have to be sure and tell the cows, “Flying! Can you believe it? I was flying!”

Soon, we were in our seats, my stomach roiling with butterflies as I buckled up. Will and Christy sat on the left, beside the window, with Alice and me across the aisle, in the center section. As the plane took off, Alice gripped my arm, her face aglow with a broad grin.

Will and Christy were both glued to the window as we soared up into the sky. I was just happy to realize that even from where I sat, I could see out somewhat as well, especially when the plane tilted a bit, giving us a full view of the city below. Gazing down at the incredible sight, I gasped.

“I guess that's what you call a bird's eye view,” Christy quipped to her father.

I smiled, thinking we were likely too high for birds. No, to my mind, this was a
God's
eye view—His whole, big beautiful world glittering below, a testament to His glory and a delight to His own eyes.

After we'd been airborne for a while, I took out
Jane Eyre
and settled in to finish it. Soon I could hear Christy telling Will about the book and how we'd been reading it together. She began recounting the entire plot, not just the parts that had been read to her but the full overview Morgan had relayed in trying to interest her in the story. I was pleased with the enthusiasm I could hear in her voice. Maybe she'd learn to love reading yet.

Later, I put the book away and turned my attention to Alice, who had barely moved since the flight began. I asked her if she was okay, and in response, she simply nodded and grinned from ear and ear. Will leaned toward us and said if he didn't know better, he'd think she'd planned everything on purpose just for this flight home. We laughed, but long after that, his word kept ringing in my ears:
home
.

Home. Where Leah awaited. Where life would go on.

Where I would have to give Will up, once and for all.

By the time we landed in New York, Alice was exhausted. A wheelchair was waiting, and soon we were on a shuttle bus to a hotel. The next morning we took a taxi to the train station and then traveled on toward home.

By the time we reached Lancaster, we were all exhausted.
Daed
was at the station with a van and driver to meet us, and we dropped Christy, Will, and Alice off first. The twins, followed by their aunt, ran out the back door of the house as soon as the van stopped. They must have been looking for us.

The little ones were yelling for their
daed
, dashing across the grass, their little braids bouncing against their collarbones along with the ribbons of their little
kapps
. Their feet were bare even though it was cold. Will jumped from the van and scooped them up, followed by Christy. All four of them hugged for a moment until Mel squirmed down and called out my name.

As my
daed
helped Alice down, Mel slipped around them and into the van.

“Ada!” she yelled again. I lifted her to my lap and hugged her.

“Come on.” She took my hand and led me out of the van after Alice. Matty wanted a hug too, and I lifted her. As Christy wrapped her arms around me, I thought of how aloof she had been with me until Alice fell ill. I squeezed her tightly.

Will invited us in, but
Daed
said he needed to get me home. He said there were two women waiting for me who wouldn't forgive him if he dallied.

“I understand,” Will said, chuckling. But then he invited us to come back the next afternoon, and to bring
Mammi
with us if she was up to it. “Alice doesn't want Ada to have all the fun sharing her stories. She'd like to tell Frannie all about it as well.”

As the driver neared the highway, a buggy turned down the Gundys' lane. It was Leah Fisher, waving at us, a big smile on her face.

I waved back, barely, reality smacking me in the face. Of course she would be there, eager to welcome home her future husband. Feeling nauseated, I decided that when the time came the next afternoon to visit, I would find some way to get out of it. If I couldn't have Will for myself, then I couldn't be around him at all, at least not for a while, not until the hole that had been ripped through my heart had been given a chance to heal.

To keep from crying, I simply closed my eyes and emptied my mind until the driver turned down our own lane. To the right, the corn had been harvested and all that was left was stubble. To the left, the cows grazed in the pasture, lifting their heads as we passed. The trees along the creek were completely bare, making the dark green of the fir trees in front of the white house stand out even more.
Mamm
stepped out onto the porch as the van pulled to a stop, pulling her cape tight with one hand as she hurried down the steps, a smile on her face. I climbed down into her arms, and she held me tight, not saying a word.

Daed
paid the driver and then took my bag from me. While he headed into the house with it,
Mamm
and I started down the walkway to the
daadi haus
. “She's been beside herself the entire time you were gone,”
Mamm
said. “Thinking about you, distraught over Alice becoming ill, worried about Giselle.”

As soon as we opened the door,
Mammi
started struggling to her feet. I hurried to her, helping her the rest of the way up, and then hugged her, her weathered face against my own.

“How is Giselle?” Her voice was but a whisper.

Daed
joined us, and the four of us sat down and I told them everything—about Morgan, Giselle, the property, Alice falling ill, the snowy night, finding the deed and agreement, Daniel asking me to stay, and Giselle telling me not to.

“She said that?”
Mamm
's hands were crossed over her chest in unbelief.

“
Ya
,” I answered. “She did.”

I gave them her message about how they had raised me word for word. In response, they simply nodded, but I could tell from the way they looked at each other they were as surprised and touched as I had been.

I told them about everything except of my love for Will. I could suffer through that as long as no one knew. If I told another soul, it would become unbearable.

Mammi
said she wanted to see Alice as soon as possible, and
Daed
told her we'd all been invited back for tomorrow.

As we left the
daadi haus, Mamm
said she was afraid I'd be awfully bored at home after such an adventure. My eyes fell on my flower garden and then the windmill as I told her not to be silly, but the truth was, even though I wanted nothing more than to be back, there was a lot I was going to miss.

Later that night, in bed, I finished
Jane Eyre
, choking up over the line, “Reader, I married him.” Picturing Will, my heart was pierced with pain. Oh, how deeply I yearned to be able to say the same.

The next morning Aunt Marta, Ella, and Zed came for breakfast. Ella brought a platter of muffins that she'd made, and by the time we polished them off, I'd repeated all of my stories.

Ella asked to see the other two boxes, and I retrieved them from my room. I told everyone I would return Lexie's to her and would keep the one of the Frutigen Bakery that Giselle had given me.

“What about the third one?” Ella asked.

“
Mammi
wants you and Zed to have it.” I handed it to her, explaining it showed the family farm in Indiana, carved from a drawing by Sarah,
Mammi
's mother.

Ella was obviously pleased, but Zed just shrugged. I was pretty sure the box would be hers alone.

I showed her my copy of the drawing, and she examined it closely. “Did you notice the circles in the bottom corners?” she asked.

I hadn't. I looked over her shoulder.

“They look like pies,” she said, grinning. “And this rectangle on the bottom margin looks like a cookbook.”

The objects were small and smudged. I wasn't sure about the book, but the round objects did look like they could be pies with a sheaf of wheat drawn onto the top crust.

“Sarah was just a little girl when she drew that,” I explained.

Ella's eyes lit up. “Maybe she liked to bake even then. I know I did. How cool. I guess my culinary skills were passed all the way down from her to me.” Running her fingers over the carving on the lid, she added dreamily, “I'd love to go here someday, to Indiana. To connect with this place from our family's past.”

The clock marched onward whether I wanted it to or not, and eventually it was the afternoon and time to leave for the Gundys' house. I'd been unable to come up with a good excuse for not going along. I was tempted to feign being ill, but that would only make
Mamm
hover again. I truly didn't think I could face Will, especially not with Leah at his side, not after everything he and I had been through together. But seeing no other way around it, I finally gave in.

Rikki wasn't pleased with being forced out in the cold that afternoon, and
Daed
had to keep urging her on. It felt as if it might snow, and I realized that if it did this would be the only year of my life I would get to experience the first snow twice.

By the time we turned down the Gundys' lane, I truly was feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to distract myself from the gathering ahead but couldn't think of anything to concentrate on that didn't involve Will.

He met us by his hitching post, and told
Mamm, Mammi
, and me that we should go on in and get warm. He'd help
Daed
put the horse in the barn.

We slipped our boots off after we entered through the back door and hung up our coats. Ella called out a hello from the dining room. I scanned the table. It was just Will's parents and Ezra and Ella. I didn't see any sign of Leah Fisher.

Will's
mamm
invited us in and got us cups of hot coffee. Alice and
Mammi
sat side by side in easy chairs that had been brought in from the living room and placed at the head of the table. The girls came in to say hello, each one giving me a hug, and then the twins ran back off to play, but Christy stayed.

We settled in at the big table and chatted with Ella, who sat across the table much too close to Ezra. After a while
Daed
came in and joined us just as Ella was explaining to Ezra all about Daniel.