The Angel Side (25 page)

Taking another glance
at what I had to lose,
I smiled as I watched Ra roll around in the grass. The kids released victorious whoops after finding and exploiting the ticklish spot on
Ra’s ribs
. Facing defeat, Ra called
in
the Calvary
;
G
randpa
Nicor and Gabriel. The children dispersed as the men gave chase. Nicor cut Uphir off around a table, rattling its contents. After a short struggle, Nicor had Uphir dangling upside down
by his ankle
.

“I got one!” Nicor shouted
then proceeded to give Uphir one heck of a raspberry
.

Running after Botis, Ra stopped short
to
give
Uphir a raspberry
of his own
on his belly as
he
hung from Nicor’s arms then resume
d
chasing Botis. Annahail dodged left and right around a tree as Gabriel tried keeping his footing
on
the slick grass.

John and Persephone sat across from each other, laughing at the guys fail
ed
attempts to capture the kids until they too had been swept into
the
tickle fight. From behind me, the Arch
e
s ran to assist as Amy took temporary shelter behind her mom and dad. It didn’t take long for Gabriel to notice her hiding and give chase.

“How can I give this up?” I asked, turning back to Father.

“You do not have to decide now. It is your soul
;
take your time.” Father smiled. “Lady and gentleman, should we leave this family to their celebration?” Father asked the couple taking refuge from the chaotic horseplay by the punchbowl. With an obvious sign of relief, the Son and Spirit nodded,
and then
disappeared
into the house
.

“Take care
,
my child.” Father said as
he followed
.

Not wanting to miss the fun, I made a dead run for Annahail as she darted from behind a tree, escaping Raphael
’s
grasp. The swift little girl dodged my move toward her causing me to smack right into Ra.

“Whoa! You look
as if
you need a little love from the tickle monster, too.” Ra chuckled, binding me in his arms.

I sensed he wanted to kiss me more than tickle me
,
but something inside stopped him from doing so. His smile soon faded, and worry hung heavily on his features.

“Is that what I think it is?” Ra’s breath hitched as he stared at the blue box in my hand.

“Yes. I have to decide what to do.”
I replied
somberly
.

“Etta, don’t rush. Take your time. If I’ve learned anything from what we’ve been through
, it
is things may have been much easier had I not rushed into my decisions. I let my emotions run my life instead of thinking clearing about how my actions affected those around me. I know now. Maybe If I had taken the time to think before I acted we wouldn’t be in this position. Don’t make the mistakes I did and rush into this. Take all the time you need.
As
I said earlier, no matter what you decide, we will make it work.”

I wanted to think Ra had been simply telling me what I wanted to hear
,
but a spark of sincerity flickered in his eyes. He had two weeks to prepare himself for
possibly
losing me. He had seemed to make peace with the thought I may not choose him.

“I’m scared
,
Ra. I’m more terrified than I’ve ever been. What about the kids and mom and you
?
I don’t know what to do.”

“
Shh
.
Shh
. Etta, don’t be scared. We’re a family. Nothing will ever take
it
away. You’ve been through a lot
,
and it’s a lot to take in right now. Why don’t you go put the box away, come enjoy the rest of today
,
and tomorrow we’ll sit down and discuss everything with clear heads, if you want.”

“You’re right. I’m still a little tired and overwhelmed. I’ll be right back.”
I replied as
m
y hand slipped from his.

As I rounded the landing to my room, I noticed dad’s office door had been left open. In the middle of
the
floor I
saw
a Cabbage Patch doll. Curious as to why a doll would be laying on the carpet, I walked into the office to find it had been remodeled into a children’s room. The walls had been painted a bright yellow with white trim. In the corner sat a bulky toy box with a large book shelf next it to filled with assorted children’s books. On the other side were three beds. Botis’s and Uphir’s beds were
made with oversized monster truck comforters
and
matching pillows. Annahail had a beautiful pink and purple quilt my mother had made for me when I
was
a little girl. Above each bed their names had been painted in a beauti
ful script. In between the beds
were two nightstands with a picture frame on each
stand
.

Sitting on Annahail’s bed, I picked up the picture of Ra,
René
,
John, and the kids baring their human illusions, distorting and pulling their faces in a silly family photo. On the other night stand, a picture of Ra and
me
that once sat on my nightstand
. Putting the picture back, I laid down for a moment
,
dreaming about the possibilities being a mother held.

If I chose to go home to Father, I would miss all the bedtime stories, all the
owies
, and all of their firsts.
I had already lost so many of those.
I would be unable to watch them grow up and become the great rulers I knew they would be. Ra, Nicor, my mom
,
and dad would be left to protect and raise them. They would get the joy and rewards raising children brought.

“Hey, baby girl.
Whatcha
doing in here?”
René
said
,
startling me.

“I love
what you did to the room.” I replied
,
sitting up as
she
sat next to me.

“Yeah.
The kids helped. I found your old quilt in the attic and thought Annahail would like it. Hope you don’t mind.”
René
smiled as she clutched my hand in hers.

“Not at all.
I think it’s great.”

“What’s wrong? You seem
a bit
sad.”
René
squeezed her arm around me
.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be
what I am
,
but I don’t want to leave
either
.” I cried into
her
shoulder.

“Hey. Hey. Relax. Baby girl, listen to me.”

“But the kids.”
I
sobbed
.

“The kids are fine. They’re great, in fact. I can’t believe it myself
,
but Ra’s been doing an amazing job with them. He has your mother, her boyfriend
, your father
,
and me helping. Heck, even the Arch
e
s hav
e
been giving him a hand. They have plenty of people taking care
of
and looking out for them. Plus it’s not
like you won’t ever see them again.”
René
rested her head over on mine
.

“I know. Ra seems to really be taking good care of them.”
I sniffled
,
trying to
hold back the snot building up from my blubbering.

“More than taking care of them
;
he loves those kids. He’s been reading to them every night before they rest. He makes sure they brush their teeth and has even show
n
them a safe way of scaring the Chinese food delivery guy
,
so they stay charged while they’re here. They even got me a few times. But more important, he talks to them. He’s told them what is happening
to you
. They know you have a choice to make
,
and they aren’t scared or mad. They know they will have a mommy in Heaven caring for them from a distance. Annahail thinks it’s pretty cool
.
She thinks you’re going to have butterfly wings. Etta, if it’s your full spirit you need then choose it but don’t choose to stay because you’re feeling guilty or you’re worried about them needing you. You’ll end up hurting yourself which in turn will hurt them.”
René
kissed my
forehead then left the room.

Living as a Wraith would be difficult. The amount of self-control and discipline I would need to possess seemed unattainable. Every moment would be a battle not to cross Father or the Arch
e
s. Sick and tired, I wanted the security Heaven offered. I craved an easy life; one without fear or fighting.
After seeing the kids running around, happy
,
and talking to my Rene
, it
appeared as Ra had thought and taken care of everything while I had been incapacitated, making my wanting to go home too easy.

I’d be able to walk away without worry. Ra would ensure the children had everything they wanted and needed. Having lived on the
A
ngel,
D
emon
,
and
H
uman side, he’d be the perfect mentor to guide their upbringing. I’d be able to remain a part of their lives with visitations.

Glancing at the picture of Ra squeezing his cheeks back
and
sticking out his tongue as the kids pressed their noses up into snouts with their eyes crossed, a prick stabbed my heart, telling me what I should do. Grabbing the pendant, I went outside to tell Ra my decision.

“Guys, no pushing your sister!” in the middle of the yard, Ra bent over Annahail, dusting off her
tooshy
after a fall.
Turning to me as I stroll
ed
over to him, Ra’s smile faded away.

“You
’ve
decided,” dejected, Ra continued “That’s fine. Maybe Father will give you a job
making
it easy to schedule your visits. The kids will have to start some type of schooling now to prepare them for the throne
.
Y
ou know what a hassle it can be
,
but it’ll keep them busy. As long as I don’t mess with anyone and only travel between here and work
,
I’ll be able to get my old job back
at the pizza place
to help John with—”

Placing my hand over his mouth, I cut off Ra’s babbling.

“Ra.
I cho
o
se you. I cho
o
se us. I cho
o
se this family.” I said
,
taking the necklace from the box and putting it around Ra’s neck.

“Where your soul l
ies, so shall mine.” I repeated the vows he had once spoken to me on our wedding day over a millennium ago
.

“Really?
You’re joking? No. You’re not joking. Are you sure? Etta, it’s a huge decision. One you can’t take back. Maybe you should think about
it
for more than an hour.”
Fear and confusion contorted Ra’s gorgeous face.

“Ra, I’ve made my choice
,
and its one I will never regret.”

“This
is
great news. Ha-Ha. Kids! Mommy’s staying!” Ra swept me up
,
twirling me around as if he had just won the World Series.

“Okay. Okay. Put me down.” I contested.

“Oh, sorry.”
Ra lowered me down.

Once he had been sure I had a solid footing, he fumbled around
in
his pocket. I hadn’t had the chance to see what he removed from his pocket when Ra took to one knee, holding a simple silver band between his thumb and forefinger.

“Etta, you told me once
,
the souls who met here on Earth were not the same
ones
who
married in Heaven,
and
t
he Abihail I married and the Rahovart you married, no longer existed. Well, I can tell you the two beings
that
had that conversation no longer exist either. Instead, two different and yet better beings have taken their place.
I’m ready to start our new life together if you’ll
have me.
Etta Marilyn Divad the Wraith, will you marry me, Rahovart the Demon
?
”