The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf (5 page)

Thrix couldn't help herself from laughing. “‘Dotage'? When did you learn that word?”

“It was used in a harsh piece in American
Vogue
concerning a designer the editor did not like. I greatly admire that editor. She is so cruel.” Malveria suddenly looked troubled. “What if she were cruel to me? I do not think I could bear it.”

“Malveria, why would that happen? You're always the best-dressed person in the room.”

“If that's the case, why have they never included me in their ‘fashionable party people' page?”

It was a long-standing ambition of the Fire Queen to appear as a “fashionable party person” in
Vogue
. Her failure to achieve this was a source of constant irritation.

“Though I have appeared at many of the most fashionable events, and practically flung myself in front of the cameras, they have so far resisted me. It is most aggravating. Am I not fashionable?”

“You're very fashionable. But there's a lot of competition. Don't worry, we've got a lot of events coming up.”

Thrix used a small piece of sorcery to bring up her social calendar, which hung in the air in front of them. The Fire Queen gazed at it
approvingly. Since Thrix's business picked up, she was being invited to more events.

“Soon we will attend the designer of the year awards. Such a wonderful occasion.”

The Fire Queen finished another glass of wine. “I feel my gloom lifting. I must be at my most fashionable at this event.
Vogue
will take my picture, and then the new young Empress will see what it really means to be an icon of style.”

CHAPTER 5

The funeral service at the abbey had been a splendid affair, reassuringly traditional and full of ceremonial flourishes. As the burial proceeded at the cemetery in Chelsea, there was general satisfaction among the assembled mourners, many of them fellow members of the aristocracy, that the Countess of Nottingham had received a fitting send-off. The late afternoon sun lent an unexpected warmth to the proceedings, and the mood among the mourners as they made their way from the grave was not overly somber. The Countess had been very elderly, in poor health for a long time, and her death had not come as a surprise.

“A nice funeral,” said Mr. Carmichael on the slow walk back to the car park. “The Countess would have been pleased.”

Both of his companions nodded. They had been impressed by the ceremony and the rank of many of the guests. Mr. Carmichael, chairman of the board of the Avenaris Guild, was a well-connected man. He had good reason to be at the Countess of Nottingham's funeral. She'd had an association with the werewolf hunters' guild for many years.

Mr. Carmichael nodded politely to one of the Countess's sons, himself a wealthy man in the city, who paused nearby as his wife dabbed her eyes with a tiny lace handkerchief.

“Do we have the money?” asked Mr. Eggers.

Mr. Carmichael frowned, not quite liking the tone of the question. “Show a little respect, Mr. Eggers. “We're still at the funeral.”

“Sorry.”

They waited patiently outside the car park as the crowd dispersed.

“But yes, we do have the money,” said Mr. Carmichael softly.

The legacy from the Countess had been expected, but its size had been a surprise. The Countess of Nottingham had made donations to the Avenaris Guild for many years. She believed that her youngest son had been killed by a werewolf in Scotland, many years ago. Mr. Carmichael had never been certain that this was actually the case, but the Guild accepted the money gratefully. Now the Countess had left them a large sum, which could hardly have come at a better time. The Guild had been hit by a recent severe downturn in the markets and had seen many of its investments shrink alarmingly. There had been talk at headquarters of laying people off, and even suspending operations in some areas of the country, but now the mood had changed. Bolstered by the huge sum left them by the Countess, the Guild had plans to expand.

As the crowd thinned, Mr. Carmichael and his companions made their way to their vehicles. As a family friend, Mr. Carmichael had been invited to the post-funeral reception at the Countess's town house in Chelsea. Carmichael was a little impatient at the thought of this. He had a hankering to be getting on with business. It wasn't only financially that the Guild had suffered recently. The MacRinnalch werewolves, their eternal enemies, had bested them again. The Guild had lost some good hunters. Mr. Carmichael had come under pressure. His position as head of the Guild was again being questioned. Strong action was necessary, and with the arrival of the Countess's money, action could now be taken.

“I'll be back later in the evening,” Mr. Carmichael told Mr. Eggers. “Make sure you have the final list drawn up by then. I want the new hunters in as soon as possible.”

Mr. Eggers nodded. Although he would have been rather pleased to have been asked to the reception, he was as keen as Mr. Carmichael to press on with their mission. The werewolves may have scored some successes against them in recent months, but that was soon going to change.

CHAPTER 6

Kalix wasn't sure what to think about her upcoming birthday party. Left to herself, she'd have ignored the occasion. She hadn't celebrated her birthday since leaving the castle, and those celebrations she remembered from her childhood weren't especially happy. The idea of having a party
made her nervous. The flat would be full of people. She wondered if she might have to make a speech, or entertain them somehow, something she knew she was incapable of doing.

Moonglow assured her that she wouldn't have to make a speech, or do anything special at all, but Kalix still felt uncomfortable. She didn't like being the focus of attention. Kalix's chronic anxiety made her pessimistic. She had a fear of everything going wrong, and of being blamed for it. Kalix felt a brief surge of anger and briefly contemplated moving away from this house full of humans who gave her problems. She controlled the anger, with an effort, allowing it to fade, knowing that after it was gone she'd be able to look at things more rationally.

“I suppose it's nice of them to want to do something for me,” she muttered.

Vex was bursting with excitement about their joint birthday. The young Fire Elemental had used her highlighting pens to mark off all the days on the calendar in the kitchen, putting huge crosses over every day that passed, and smiley faces on the days still to come, despite Moonglow's protests that Vex's marks covered up everything else on the calendar. Moonglow didn't want Vex's enthusiasm to overshadow Kalix's part in the proceedings, but Kalix was grateful for it. It took the pressure off her. If Vex wanted to make a lot of noise and be the center of attention, Kalix didn't mind.

She took her journal from the locked box in her bedside cabinet. She'd bought the small container for her journal after realizing that nothing was safe from the prying eyes of Vex, who seemed not to understand the concept of privacy. All of Kalix's deepest thoughts were contained in her journal and she refused to let anyone else read them. She carefully locked her bedroom door before opening the book and looking at her most recent entries. After a year at remedial college, her writing was still poor, but a little more legible.

Werewolf Improvement Plan
. She frowned and wondered if that was a stupid title. The young werewolf glanced at the door, as if fearing that someone might be spying on her.

It had occurred to Kalix quite recently that perhaps, as she was often unhappy, she could do something to make her life better. The idea had come to her after she'd decided not to accept money from Dominil. Dominil had made an agreement with Thane Markus whereby he secretly paid her for any werewolf hunters she killed. She'd offered part of that money to Kalix. Kalix decided she didn't want to accept it. She felt no guilt over killing werewolf hunters, but she didn't feel comfortable being
paid for it. This decision led Kalix on to a lot of unexpected thinking. If she'd made an important decision about something like that, perhaps she could make other difficult decisions too. Perhaps she could change other things in her life that bothered her. She was familiar with the notion of deliberately modifying her behavior, thanks to her time in therapy. She'd never felt that her therapist had helped her in the past, but she was stronger now. She might be able to help herself.

Kalix looked at the list she'd made under the heading of
Werewolf Improvement Plan
.

       
– be less violent

       
– be independent

       
– stop taking laudanum

       
– get on better with people

       
– stop being anxious

       
– stop being depressed

       
– stop cutting myself

       
– eat better

       
– don't throw up

       
– improve reading and writing and math

“I could make these things better. Some of them anyway.”

Kalix wondered if she should include something about relationships. She'd been seeing Decembrius but it wasn't going well. Decembrius had strong feelings for Kalix, and she liked him in a way, but they never quite seemed to gel. Their encounters always ended in arguments, and sometimes in fights.

I'll leave that off the list for now, thought Kalix. After all, everyone has problems with relationships. Look at Daniel and Moonglow.

Kalix focused on the first entry on her list. Be less violent. Her short life had been full of violence. She'd killed werewolf hunters, many of them. She'd killed werewolves too, members of her clan who'd pursued her. Moonglow and Daniel knew some of her history, but Kalix wondered how they'd react if they really knew the levels of violence she'd been involved in. Would Moonglow be quite so keen to give her an eighteenth birthday party if she'd ever witnessed her ripping a fellow werewolf to pieces? Or killing three hunters in the space of a few seconds? Kalix's ferocity in battle was legendary in the MacRinnalch Clan. Once attacked, she lost control of herself. Her battle madness descended on her
and nothing could stop her. She'd torn apart werewolves much larger and stronger than herself. Her speed and power were abnormal, even by the standards of her fellow werewolves. The madness in battle was just part of her general insanity, according to her detractors. Dominil thought it was more to do with her unusual birth at the full moon, and Dominil was a very clever werewolf.

Kalix wondered if she might be able to avoid violence for a while. Dominil didn't think that Kalix would suffer any more pursuit from the MacRinnalchs. Those members of the clan who still hated her had finally been brought into line by Markus and the Mistress of the Werewolves. While there were still many werewolves who still believed she should be brought to justice for her part in the death of the old Thane, the past was to lie quietly for a while.

That left the werewolf hunters. Here too, Kalix had some reason for optimism. Some months ago, the Avenaris Guild had sent hunters all the way up to Scotland. Kalix had defeated them. Others in the clan fell victim to the sorcery of their enemies, but Kalix had resisted it and killed the attackers. It had been a severe blow to the Guild. Dominil, who apparently was able to spy on them, had reported that they were quiet these days.

So maybe I can stay out of fights for a while, thought Kalix.

There was a violent crash as Vex attempted to burst into the room without considering that the door might be locked. Kalix hurriedly hid her journal.

“Hey, Kalix, let me in!” shouted Vex.

“Go away,” shouted Kalix.

“Did you know your door's locked?”

“Yes. And don't you dare teleport in here!” yelled Kalix.

“OK, I'll just teleport in,” shouted Vex.

Seconds later, Vex materialized in Kalix's room, looking pleased with herself.

“I am getting so good at this traveling through space stuff,” she said. “Did you know your door was locked?”

“Of course I knew my door was locked! I was trying to keep people out.”

“Really? Can I help?”

Kalix sighed.

“Our party is going to be the best thing ever,” cried the young Fire Elemental. “I'm so excited! Do you think Yum Yum Sugary Snacks could play in the living room?”

Yum Yum Sugary Snacks, fronted by Kalix's werewolf cousins Beauty and Delicious, were Vex's favorite band.

“It would be great! We could get up onstage and dance with them!”

“I'd hate that!” said Kalix. “And where would the stage be anyway—in the living room?”

Vex looked puzzled. “I hadn't thought of that. Maybe we could dance on the couch?”

She grinned eagerly. Kalix found herself smiling, though she hadn't meant to. Vex's enthusiasm tended to be infectious. It was hard to remain completely uninvolved once Vex developed a passion for anything.

“It's going to be the full moon. Beauty and Delicious will be werewolves too. I don't think they can play guitar when they're werewolves.”