The Asylum (13 page)

‘No, I know that, but …’

‘I mean, if you come at him with your fists he’ll just slash them to bits.’

The first man laughs. ‘In that case I’d better make sure I’ve got a sword!’

Jan doesn’t attempt to join in the conversation, he just finishes his beer. There is no sign of anyone he knows in here tonight; no Lilian or Hanna. No one. He has no friends, and he is ready to go home alone. And sleep. Alone.

Suddenly a shadow falls over his table. ‘Hi.’

Jan looks up. A man about his own age has stopped opposite him. A total stranger with black eyebrows and a blond ponytail.

No, come to think of it, Jan recognizes him – he’s one of the Bohemos. The lead singer. He’s taken off the leather jacket he always wears on stage, and is now dressed in a white cotton sweater with a towel looped around his neck. After a long evening under the spotlights both are drenched in sweat.

‘How’s things?’ he says.

Jan doesn’t quite know what to say, but opens his mouth anyway. ‘Fine.’

The singer sits down at the table. His voice is slightly hoarse after the gig, but it is warm and friendly. He wipes his forehead with one end of the towel. ‘We don’t know each other,’ he says. ‘I know that … but it’s cool.’

‘Absolutely,’ Jan answers uncertainly.

‘But I’ve seen you,’ the singer goes on. ‘Have you seen me?’

‘No … what exactly do you mean?’

‘I’ve seen you through the fence, when I’m doing my other job. You’ve started cycling to the pre-school now, haven’t you?’

Jan puts down his glass; he is slowly beginning to understand, and automatically lowers his voice. ‘So you work at St … at the hospital?’

The man nods. ‘Night security.’

‘Sorry?’

‘I work nights in the security department.’

Jan feels a shudder down his spine, and his pulse begins to race. He thinks about the underground corridor and the safe room, and suspects that he has been filmed down there. Filmed, or observed. He is waiting for a posse of guards to rush out and hurl him to the ground, grab hold of his arms, search him, interrogate him …

But the singer from the Bohemos is still sitting there smiling, apparently unconcerned. ‘I know your name is Jan,’ he says. ‘Jan Hauger.’

Jan nods. ‘And what’s your name?’

‘Rettig … Lars Rettig.’

‘Right. A bit of a coincidence, meeting up like this.’

Rettig shakes his head. ‘I know who you are. I wanted to meet you.’

‘Why?’

‘Because we need help.’

‘With what?’

‘To help those who are lost.’

‘Lost?’

‘The patients in St Psycho’s … Would you like to help them feel better?’

Jan doesn’t say anything. He shouldn’t really be sitting here talking to a hospital security guard about their place of work – what happened to the confidentiality agreement? But he has begun to relax. Lars Rettig doesn’t seem to be after him.

‘Maybe,’ Jan says. ‘But what’s it all about?’

Rettig doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, as if he were planning a little speech. But then he looks around, leans forward and lowers his voice. ‘It’s about all the things we’re not allowed to do. We’re sick and tired of it.’

‘Who’s
we
?’

But Rettig gets to his feet without answering the question. ‘We can talk more another time. I’ll be in touch.’ He nods encouragingly, and adds, ‘You’ll help us, Jan, I just know it. I can see it in your eyes.’

‘What can you see?’

Rettig shoots him another smile. ‘That you are ready to protect the weak.’

18

ALL THE CHILDREN
are walking around clutching animals. It is cuddly-toy day at the Dell, and those who don’t have a toy of their own are allowed to borrow one out of the basket. That includes the staff. So there are teddy bears and tigers and giraffes with wobbly legs in every room. Mira is carrying around a red and white striped snake, and Josefine has a pink elk.

Guardian animals
, Jan thinks.

He has chosen a golden-yellow lynx. He found it in the basket, and when everyone else had taken what they wanted, he picked it up. It’s quite a shabby lynx, but at least it doesn’t smell.

‘What’s its name?’ asks Matilda.

‘This is … Lofty the Lynx, and he comes from the forest … a forest far, far away from here.’

‘So why isn’t he there any more?’ Matilda wants to know.

‘Because … he likes the children here at the Dell,’ says Jan. ‘He wants to see where you live … He wants to play with you.’

Leo is holding on to a one-eyed cat; he is clutching it so tightly that its body has become elongated and dented.

‘What’s the name of your animal, Leo?’

‘Freddie.’

‘And what kind of animal is it?’

‘Don’t know … but look!’ He holds out his small clenched fist, and opens it.

On his palm Jan sees the cat’s other eye: Leo has plucked it out.

Jan looks into Leo’s face and wonders whether it is innocence or unhappiness he sees there. Jan doesn’t know. He only knows that in some parts of the world it is not cuddly toys that children carry around, but rifles and machine guns.

How can he help the children? How can he help just one child, like Leo?

You are ready to protect the weak
, the singer from the Bohemos had said. That may well be true, but there isn’t much Jan can do.

Several of the children will be visiting the hospital this Monday too. Jan has begun to learn how the children react to these interruptions to their normal daily routine. Some of them, like Mira and Matilda, are happy to be seeing their parent, and get quite giggly as their little legs scamper down the stairs to the basement. Others, like Fanny and Mattias, remain calm as they make their way to the lift without speaking.

But there are also children who are very tense when Jan goes to collect them.

Josefine, the five-year-old who found the book about the Animal Lady, probably shows the clearest indications of anxiety. She always looks a little frightened when he goes to fetch her.

‘All right,’ she says quietly when he asks her how she’s feeling.

He doesn’t believe her. Not entirely.

This Monday Josefine is due in the visitors’ room at two o’clock, and when Jan goes to pick her up from the playroom five minutes beforehand, she is busy building a Lego house.

‘OK, Josefine – time to go!’

She doesn’t respond; she just keeps on building her house.

‘Come along, Josefine!’ he says.

She still won’t look at him, but silently gets to her feet. Without protest she follows him towards the stairs. Her pink elk is tucked underneath her arm; during assembly this morning she told everyone that his name was Ziggy.

Jan looks at Josefine and the elk, and thinks once more about the guardian animals. When they reach the underground corridor he asks, ‘Do you remember that book about the Animal Lady, Josefine?’

She nods.

‘But how did you know it was in the book box?’

‘I put it there,’ she says.

‘I see … so someone gave it to you?’

‘She gave me a few.’

‘Who did?’

‘A lady.’

They have reached the lift, and Jan stops. ‘Would you like me to come up with you, Josefine?’

She nods again silently, and they step into the lift.

‘Are you not feeling very happy?’ he asks as they are travelling upwards.

Josefine shakes her head.

‘Who are you going to see?’

‘A lady,’ the child says quietly.

A lady?
Jan recalls that Josefine has been brought to school and picked up by several different people: sometimes a woman, sometimes an older man. Of course he isn’t allowed to ask any questions about Josefine’s family, but still he bends down and says, ‘You’re going to see your mum, aren’t you?’

Josefine nods. And the lift stops.

This is actually the first time Jan has accompanied a child up to the visitors’ room. He peeps out and sees a bright, clean room with a big sofa, parlour palms in pots, and a table with several children’s books on it. But there are no CCTV cameras, as far as Jan can see.

The room is empty, but there is a closed door with a key pad at the other end.

‘Out you come, Josefine.’

As Jan holds the door open she takes a tentative step into the room, then she turns around and whispers, ‘Can you stay?’

He makes a sad face. ‘I’m not allowed to do that, Josefine … unfortunately. You’ll have to see your mum without me.’

Josefine shakes her head, and Jan doesn’t know what else to say. The visitors’ room is still empty, but he keeps his hand on the door of the lift. He doesn’t want to leave Josefine alone.

There is a metallic click from the door at the other end of the
room;
it opens and a man in a pale-red nurse’s uniform appears. It isn’t Lars Rettig; this man is younger than Rettig. Shorter and more powerfully built too, with black hair cropped very close. He looks familiar.

Is he part of the security team who work the day shift? He reminds Jan of one of those fighting dogs that are ready to leap forward and sink their teeth into a tyre – or a throat.

His keys are attached to a thick belt around his waist, along with several white plastic loops. Next to them is a container which looks like a small metal Thermos flask. Handcuffs and tear gas?

The man takes three long strides away from the door and Jan tenses as if bracing himself for an attack; he almost jerks backwards.

But the man stops in the middle of the room and stares at Jan. ‘Thanks,’ he says.

Jan holds up a hand in acknowledgement, but doesn’t move. He can see a shadow over by the doorway. Someone else is waiting on the other side – someone who doesn’t want to step forward and show herself. A patient from St Psycho’s, Jan realizes. Josefine’s mother?

‘Thanks,’ the man says again. ‘We’ll take over now, that’s fine.’ His voice sounds mechanical, emotionless.

‘Good.’ But Jan doesn’t think it’s fine at all. His heart is pounding, his fingers are trembling. Security guards and police officers make him nervous.

He is almost convinced that Rami is Josefine’s mother. That Rami is standing in the corridor, less than ten metres away from him. If he waits just a little bit longer he will see her, he will be able to talk to her.

But the guard takes another long stride into the room, his gaze fixed on the lift, and Jan has to go. He looks at Josefine one last time, gives her a reassuring smile and raises his voice: ‘See you soon, Josefine. I’ll come and get you. Do you remember my name?’

Josefine blinks. ‘Jan.’

‘That’s it … Jan Hauger.’

He has said his name so loudly and clearly that Josefine’s mother
must
have heard him. It feels as if this is important. Then he closes the lift door and goes back to the Dell.

His legs are shaking after his encounter with the guard, but his mind is full of Rami.

He is sure he was so close up there – so close to making contact with her at last, to being able to explain why things turned out as they did with little William, deep in the forest.

19

THE MAIN ENTRANCE
to Jan’s apartment block locks automatically at eight o’clock every evening; after that you need a key or an entry code to get in.