The Baby's Guardian (7 page)

This nightmare just wouldn’t end.

Shaw scrubbed his hand over his face and mumbled another prayer. The baby had to be okay.

So far, everything had gone well at the clinic where the doctor had told Shaw to bring Sabrina when he’d made a frantic call to her after carrying Sabrina out of the hotel. But they were far from out of the woods.

“You know the drill,” Dr. Claire Nicholson said to Sabrina as the doctor helped her onto the small padded bed next to the ultrasound machine. This particular room was just up the hall from the doctor’s office, so they hadn’t had to leave the building to have the procedure done. Thankfully, Sabrina had even managed to get a bite to eat while they were waiting for the room to be prepared.

Sabrina apparently did know the drill. She used a drab green cotton sheet to cover the lower part of her body, and she lifted her gown to expose her belly. Dr. Nicholson took a bottle of some kind of clear goo and smeared it over the exposed skin.

“Should I leave?” Shaw asked, hitching his thumb
to the door where the doctor had entered just seconds earlier.

The doctor looked at Sabrina for the answer.

“Stay,” Sabrina said. “Please.”

She was scared. Shaw could see that in her pale color and constant lip nibbling. Hell, the doctor looked worried, too. He certainly was. So, he stood there, praying that this test would show that the baby was all right.

“How are the contractions?” the doctor asked Sabrina.

“Gone. Well, almost. I get Braxton Hicks every now and then, but they aren’t at regular intervals.” She paused, swallowed hard. “They are Braxton Hicks, right? I’m not in labor?”

The doctor began to move the tiny probe over Sabrina’s gel-coated belly. “You don’t appear to be. And you certainly haven’t dilated. That’s the first thing I checked when I examined you after Captain Tolbert brought you in.”

Yes, Shaw had definitely waited outside for that part of the exam. It had seemed to take hours, but he figured it was less than fifteen minutes before Dr. Nicolson had come out and said that the preliminary results were good, that Sabrina wasn’t in the full throes of premature labor. But the doctor had still wanted to do an ultrasound before she declared the baby safe and sound.

“If all checks out well here, will Sabrina be able to leave?” Shaw asked. Because if the doctor planned to admit her to the hospital, that would require some serious security arrangements. The San Antonio Maternity Hospital was closed and being processed as a massive
crime scene, and the other nearby hospitals had had to absorb the patients.

“I think under the circumstances, a hospital might be more stressful, and unnecessary,” Dr. Nicholson concluded. “These false labors are fairly common in the last trimester. I seriously doubt the recent events had anything to do with it.”

Maybe, but still Shaw didn’t intend to let Sabrina out of his sight. Which, of course, would cause a whole set of problems of their own.

“We don’t know why some women have false labor,” the doctor continued, talking to Sabrina now. “But understand that it isn’t your fault. Just relax and try to lead as normal a life as possible. That includes sex if…” She shrugged. “Well, if that applies to you two. I know Sabrina is a surrogate, but I sense something more going on between you two. Or maybe the potential for something more.”

Shaw didn’t look at Sabrina.

Sabrina didn’t look at him.

“Forgive me if this sounds like a medical lecture,” the doctor went on, “but recent studies show that sex, specifically a woman’s climax, doesn’t trigger premature labor. If the labor’s going to start, it will with or without an orgasm.”

Sheez. Shaw was trying to remember the last time he’d felt this uncomfortable.

“Oh, and sex doesn’t hurt the baby, either, in case you were wondering,” the doctor mumbled, and stared at the screen.

“Shaw and I aren’t having sex,” Sabrina interrupted. “Never have.”

She seemed to imply
never will.

“Right,” the doctor added. She moved the monitor around. “The heartbeat’s still good.”

Finally, she was changing the subject. And it was a good change. Shaw stared, too, and saw the baby’s images appear on the screen. Oh, man.

He hadn’t expected it to be so clear. He could actually see a baby.

His
baby.

Shaw moved closer. Too close. His thigh bumped right into Sabrina’s hand. Her fingers brushed against his fly, giving him an uncomfortable jolt.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, easing back just slightly. But he couldn’t take his eyes off the baby.

“The baby’s sucking its thumb,” the doctor said, and she chuckled.

Shaw couldn’t believe it. “They do that in there?”

“They do a lot of things in there,” Dr. Nicholson confirmed.

Sabrina chuckled, too. “In the last ultrasound, she was grabbing her toes. Between that and the daily soccer practice, she knows how to keep herself amused.”

It nearly took Shaw’s breath away. Seeing that would have been a miracle, and here he’d missed it because he hadn’t come to the appointments.

Where the hell had his head been for the past eight months?

But he knew the answer. His head had been in the only place that his heart would allow it to be. With Fay. Her death was a wound that would not heal.

“You still want me to stay mum about the baby’s sex?” the doctor asked. “Or do you want to know?”

Shaw looked at Sabrina. No more lip nibbling or signs of fear. She was smiling, and it was dazzling. Man, she was attractive no matter what the circumstances, but with that smile, she was drop-dead gorgeous.

And pregnant, he reminded himself, when he felt that damn tug of attraction.

Sabrina’s eyebrow lifted just a fraction. She was obviously waiting for an answer as to whether he wanted to know if they would soon have a son or a daughter.

Too bad he didn’t know what to say. “I’ll get back to you on that, okay?” He hated that he sounded so removed from this. So angry. Hated even more all the conflicting feelings that were slamming into him at once.

What was wrong with him?

He could certainly go about bonding with this child without bonding with the mother. But that wasn’t happening. Every minute he spent with Sabrina, he felt further removed from Fay. And he couldn’t let go of her. He couldn’t just forget all that had happened. Because if he did that…

He’d have to forgive Sabrina.

And himself.

He didn’t deserve forgiveness. Here, all the months he’d blamed Sabrina, but the truth was that the blame was squarely on his own shoulders. His wife had been suicidal, and he hadn’t realized it.

He hadn’t stopped her.

“I have to go,” he heard himself say. He went to the door, with part of him yelling at himself to turn around
and accept what was on that examining table: Sabrina and his baby.

But he couldn’t.

Shaw walked out and closed the door between them.

S
ABRINA FOLLOWED
S
HAW
through SAPD Headquarters. She lagged a few steps behind him, on purpose, because she didn’t want to look at him just yet.

The passing officers glanced at them. Probably because they knew of the latest attempt to kidnap her. Their glances could have also had something to do with the fact that she was wearing a loaner sundress from the doctor that was bright red and much too tight.

Of course, the glances could have been because she was hurdling silent daggers at Shaw.

She was riled to the core. And hurt. They were a month away from being parents, and he was still shutting her out. She’d expected it, of course, but for some reason it hurt more now than it had weeks ago. Maybe because she thought that she and Shaw had developed some kind of weird camaraderie after running for their lives and fighting off hired killers.

Apparently, she’d thought wrong.

He opened the door to a room that was across the hall from his office. “It isn’t much,” he mumbled, and he ushered her inside.

Shaw was certainly right. It wasn’t much. It was a small room crammed with two sets of bunk beds, a coffee table, a sofa, a tiny fridge, microwave on a metal stand and an adjoining bathroom that was equally sparse. A toilet, sink and tub equipped with a shower
head attached to the wall. There were no windows, and the only light came from the florescent fixture overhead, which was humming.

“The guys call this the flop room,” he explained. “It comes in handy sometimes when you’ve pulled back-to-back shifts and are too tired to drive home. Don’t worry. I had them change the sheets and put in some fresh towels.”

Sabrina settled for a “Hmm” and walked past him. She made sure no part of her touched any part of him. Unlike at the doctor’s office where she’d gotten a cheap thrill from their accidental contact.

Shaw shut the door. “You can stay here until I’ve made other arrangements.”

“This is fine,” she practically snapped. But it was more than fine. It was safe. Well, hopefully. There was still that issue of a possible leak in the department.

“The door has a lock,” he added, probably sensing her concern about that leak and security in general. To prove it, he flipped the switch, and she heard the click. “And you won’t ever be in here alone. I’ll stay with you until I can arrange for something safer.”

Ironic, because this should be the safest place on earth. However, with a gunman still on the loose, no place was without risks.

She stood there. He stood there. And the silence closed in around them. Sabrina had never noticed before just how unnerving quiet could be.

“I’m sorry,” Shaw finally said.

“Don’t,” she immediately answered. She started to walk away, but he caught her arm and eased her back around.

“I shouldn’t have left you in the ultrasound room,” he added.

She shook off his grip so she could fold her arms over her chest, and she stared at him, waiting for a more thorough explanation.

It didn’t come.

“You have to learn to put this baby first,” Sabrina clarified. “You hate me because I didn’t talk Fay into giving up her dreams for a baby so she could stay alive. Yep, I got that. You’ve made it perfectly clear, but I’m sick and tired of you using that hatred as an excuse not to love this child.” She unfolded her arms and aimed her index finger at him. “If this is the way you intend to act after she’s born, then by God, I won’t share custody with you. I won’t expose this innocent little baby to all this negativity.”

There. She’d wanted to say that to him for weeks. But now that she had said it, Sabrina instantly regretted it. She regretted it even more when Shaw looked as if she’d slapped him.

“I love this baby,” he said, his words slow and deliberate. “And I don’t hate you.”

Confused, she shook her head. “You don’t have to lie about your feelings for me. As long as you love the child, that’s enough—”

“I don’t hate you,” he repeated.

Sabrina was about to challenge that again, but he took her by the arm and pulled her to him. In the same motion, before she could even catch her breath, his mouth went to hers.

And he kissed her.

He actually kissed her!

The jolt of surprise was instant. But there was another jolt, too. His mouth was gentle. The kiss, clever. With just the right amount of pressure to please her, and make her want more. It was a sensation that went all the way from her mouth to the center of her body.

He slid his hand around the back of her neck and eased her even closer. As close as her pregnant stomach would allow them to get. He angled her head, controlling her completely, and deepened the kiss. His tongue touched hers, and that jolt went through her again.

He made a sound deep within his throat. Not a sound of confusion. But of pleasure. It was all male. And totally designed to make her respond in the most basic female kind of way.

She felt herself go all damp, her body obviously preparing for something it’d wanted for a long time.

Shaw.

Specifically, Shaw naked and inside her. Sabrina no longer felt hugely pregnant and awkward. She felt she could fly as long as Shaw was there to fly along with her.

He slid his hand down her back. So slowly. His fingers caressed her along the way, lighting new fires wherever he touched. Not that she needed more. She was already too hot as it was. But Shaw managed to up the heat by cupping her bottom and adjusting their positions so that his sex actually managed to touch hers.

Sabrina nearly lost it right there.

It’d been so long since she’d been touched intimately that she felt close to a climax. And all from a simple touch and kiss.

Shaw took his mouth from her. But he didn’t move
the rest of his body. He stayed there, touching her and driving her crazy.

“I don’t hate you,” he repeated, his voice as strained as the muscles in his jaw. “I want to…” He kissed her again, and it was as hard as his sex was against her. “I want to, well, let me just settle for saying I want to have sex with you.”

Sabrina didn’t know who looked more surprised, him or her. “Really?” And she proved her shock by repeating that one word several times. “I figured I look disgusting to you.”

“You look amazing,” he corrected. He slid his thumb over her bottom lip, collecting the moisture that had gathered there from the kiss. He put his thumb to his mouth and ran his tongue over it. “You taste amazing.”

But then he groaned, shook his head and stepped back.

Despite the loss of him touching her, the fire stayed with her, because she had a very good view of his incredible body, including that bulge behind the zipper of his pants. Sabrina was hot enough to want to ask if she could help him take care of that. She didn’t know how. She hadn’t experienced the logistics of pregnancy sex, but she was betting they could figure out a way.

“You had contractions earlier,” he reminded her. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“It was false labor,” she reminded him, “and yes, you should have kissed me.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. Almost a smile. Before he got serious again. “We have a lot to work out. Because I’m a man and because I want you, a certain
part of me is suggesting we can work it out on that bunk bed.”