The BFG (12 page)
I IS INVENTING A CAR THAT RUNS ON TOOTHPASTE.
I IS ABLE TO MAKE THE ELEKTRIK LITES GO ON AND OFF JUST BY WISHING IT.
I IS ONLY AN EIGHT YEAR OLD LITTLE BOY BUT I IS GROWING A SPLENDID BUSHY BEARD AND ALL THE OTHER BOYS IS JALOUS.
I IS ABEL TO JUMP OUT OF ANY HIGH WINDOW AND FLOTE DOWN SAFELY.
I HAS A PET BEE THAT MAKES ROCK AND ROLL MUSIK WHEN IT FLIES.
‘What amazes me,’ Sophie said, ‘is how you ever learned to write in the first place.’
‘Ah,’ said the BFG. ‘I has been wondering how long it is before you is asking me that.’
‘Considering you never went to school, I think it’s quite marvellous,’ Sophie said. ‘How
did
you learn?’
did
you learn?’
The BFG crossed the cave and opened a tiny secret door in the wall. He took out a book, very old and tattered. By human standards, it was an ordinary sized book, but it looked like a postage stamp in his huge hand.
‘One night,’ he said, ‘I is blowing a dream through a window and I sees this book lying on the little boy’s bedroom table. I wanted it so very badly, you understand. But I is refusing to steal it. I would never do that.’
‘So how did you get it?’ Sophie asked.
‘I
borrowed
it,’ the BFG said, smiling a little. ‘Just for a short time I borrowed it.’
borrowed
it,’ the BFG said, smiling a little. ‘Just for a short time I borrowed it.’
‘How long have you had it?’ Sophie asked.
‘Perhaps only about eighty years,’ the BFG said. ‘Soon I shall be putting it back.’
‘And that’s how you taught yourself to write?’ Sophie asked him.
‘I is reading it hundreds of times,’ the BFG said. ‘And I is still reading it and teaching new words to myself and how to write them. It is the most scrum-diddlyumptious story.’
Sophie took the book out of his hand. ‘
Nicholas Nickleby
,’ she read aloud.
Nicholas Nickleby
,’ she read aloud.
‘By Dahl’s Chickens,’ the BFG said.
‘By
who?
’ Sophie said.
who?
’ Sophie said.
Just then, there came a tremendous noise of galloping feet from outside the cave. ‘What’s that?’ Sophie cried.
‘That is all the giants zippfizzing off to another country to guzzle human beans,’ the BFG said. He quickly popped Sophie into his waistcoat pocket, then hurried to the cave entrance and rolled back the stone.
Sophie, peeping out of her spy-hole, saw all nine of the fearsome giants coming past at full gallop.
‘Where is you off to tonight?’ shouted the BFG.
‘We is all of us flushbunking off to England tonight,’ answered the Fleshlumpeater as they went galloping past. ‘England is a luctuous land and we is fancying a few nice little English chiddlers.’
‘I,’ shouted the Maidmasher, ‘is knowing where there is a gigglehouse for girls and I is guzzling myself full as a frothblower!’
‘And I knows where there is a bogglebox for boys!’ shouted the Gizzardgulper. ‘All I has to do is reach in and grab myself a handful! English boys is tasting extra lickswishy!’
In a few seconds, the nine galloping giants were out of sight.
‘What
did
he mean?’ Sophie said, poking her head out of the pocket. ‘What is a gigglehouse for girls?’
did
he mean?’ Sophie said, poking her head out of the pocket. ‘What is a gigglehouse for girls?’
‘He is meaning a girls’ school,’ the BFG said. ‘He will be eating them by the bundle.’
‘Oh no!’ cried Sophie.
‘And boys from a boys’ school,’ said the BFG.
‘It mustn’t happen!’ Sophie cried out. ‘We’ve got to stop them! We can’t just sit here and do nothing!’
‘There’s not a thing we can do,’ the BFG said. ‘We is helpless as horsefeathers.’ He sat down on a large craggy blue rock near the entrance to his cave. He took Sophie from his pocket and put her beside him on the rock. ‘It is now quite safe for you to be outside until they is coming back,’ he said.
The sun had dipped below the horizon and it was getting dark.
The Great Plan
‘We’ve absolutely
got
to stop them!’ Sophie cried. ‘Put me back in your pocket quick and we’ll chase after them and warn everyone in England they’re coming.’
got
to stop them!’ Sophie cried. ‘Put me back in your pocket quick and we’ll chase after them and warn everyone in England they’re coming.’
‘Redunculus and
um
-possiple,’ the BFG said. ‘They is going two times as fast as me and they is finishing their guzzle before we is halfway.’
um
-possiple,’ the BFG said. ‘They is going two times as fast as me and they is finishing their guzzle before we is halfway.’
‘But we can’t just sit here doing nothing!’ Sophie cried. ‘How many girls and boys are they going to eat tonight?’
‘Many’ the BFG said. ‘The Fleshlumpeating Giant alone has a most squadding whoppsy appetite.’
‘Will he snatch them out of their beds while they’re sleeping?’
‘Like peas out of a poddle,’ the BFG said.
‘I can’t bear to think of it!’ Sophie cried.
‘Then don’t,’ the BFG said. ‘For years and years I is sitting here on this very rock every night after night when they is galloping away, and I is feeling so sad for all the human beans they is going to gobble up. But I has had to get used to it. There is nothing I can do. If I wasn’t a titchy little runty giant only twenty-four feet high then I would be stopping them. But that is absolutely out of the window.’
‘Do you always know where they’re going?’ Sophie asked.
‘Always,’ the BFG said. ‘Every night they is yelling at me as they go booding past. The other day they was yelling “We is off to Mrs Sippi and Miss Souri to guzzle them both!”’
‘Disgusting,’ Sophie said. ‘I hate them.’
She and the Big Friendly Giant sat quietly side by side on the blue rock in the gathering dusk. Sophie had never felt so helpless in her life. After a while, she stood up and cried out, ‘I can’t stand it! Just think of those poor girls and boys who are going to be eaten alive in a few hours’ time! We can’t just sit here and do nothing! We’ve got to go after those brutes!’
‘No,’ the BFG said.
‘We must!’ Sophie cried. ‘Why won’t you go?’
The BFG sighed and shook his head firmly. ‘I has told you five or six times,’ he said, ‘and the third will be the last. I is
never
showing myself to human beans.’
never
showing myself to human beans.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘If I do, they will be putting me in the zoo with all the jiggyraffes and cattypiddlers.’
‘Nonsense,’ Sophie said.
‘And they will be sending
you
straight back to a norphanage,’ the BFG went on. ‘Grown-up human beans is not famous for their kindnesses. They is all squifflerotters and grinksludgers.’
you
straight back to a norphanage,’ the BFG went on. ‘Grown-up human beans is not famous for their kindnesses. They is all squifflerotters and grinksludgers.’
‘That simply isn’t true!’ Sophie cried angrily. ‘Some of them are very kind indeed.’
‘Who?’ the BFG said. ‘Name one.’
‘The Queen of England,’ Sophie said. ‘You can’t call her a squifflerotter or a grinksludger.’
‘Well…’ the BFG said.
‘You can’t call her a squeakpip or a notmucher either,’ Sophie said, getting angrier and angrier.
‘The Fleshlumpeater is longing dearly to guzzle her up,’ the BFG said, smiling a little now.
‘Who, the
Queen?
’ Sophie cried, aghast.
Queen?
’ Sophie cried, aghast.
‘Yes,’ the BFG answered. ‘Fleshlumpeater says he is never eating a queen and he thinks perhaps she has an especially scrumdiddlyumptious flavour.’
‘How dare he!’ Sophie cried.
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