Read The Big Book of Sherlock Holmes Stories Online
Authors: Otto Penzler
And the Persian Slipper. For Sherlock Holmes's tobacco.
I don't know where the Persian Slipper came from. I never did know. I know it caught my eye at our first meeting during which we read aloud, examined, and took apart a fine Vincent Starrettâor was it Christopher Morley?âstory in the style of the Canon.
It was the oddest, queerest, most beautiful slipper I had ever seen. It was made of some faded, jade-green stuff, like felt, obviously and authentically oriental. It was curled at the tip like some curious pastry, and from one end to
the other it was crusted with tinted sequins and bright paste gems. O, it was so lovely! And something about the size of it caused my heart to stirâgently at first and then with a furious and almost unappeasable longing for possession. It was only a few millimeters greater in length than my foot. O, I knew I had to have the thing the moment I laid eyes on it!
My admission to the Irregulars occurred in the third year of their existence. I was not yet onto all the special rights and duties of the groupâone of them, at least, downright eccentric.
I remember that night. Over on Roberts' Ridge men were working in the hay harvest, in the moonlight, and the sweet smell of slaughtered clover drifted down upon the misted river hush. It was a scent like the great cake of Creation rising in God's ovens! O, I stared across the table at which everyone was speculating on the date of the buried coins in the Musgrave Ritual (as if they were discernible!)âI stared across the glimmering lampshine at the mantelpiece. At the Persian Slipper.
Is it full of perique? I asked with a small smile. Or perhaps a nice latakia and shag cut English Burleigh?
Is what full of perique? asked the Brown Recluse in an unappeasably patronizing manner. Is what full of latakia or shag cut English Burleigh?
Why, the slipper, I said. The Persian Slipper. Isn't that where the Master keeps his pipe tobacco?
Jake Bardall intervened kindly.
Ordinarily, yes, Ms. Lathrop. Tonight being Persian Slipper Night we dumped it out. It's in that twist of paper you see beside it on the manteltop.
Slowly, irresistibly, I arose and left the doi-lied table and the circle of lampshine and went to the mantelpiece. O, it was so beautiful! I had never seen so lovely a slipper! Old? Of course. A little moth-eaten? Naturally. Eaten first by moths, I would guess, drawn to the halo of Aladdin's lamp in some ancient Arab midnight. Was there a sequin or a paste gem missing here or there? Of courseâripped off in some desperate last moment escape by Sinbad the Sailor. O, I knew this was no stage prop, some scuffed and dusty Atlantic City souvenir donated by one of the Irregular wives or sisters. This was
the
Persian Slipper. It was the one, the only, the original Persian Slipper from the Master's mysterious and marvelous abode. Here was proof (as though any were needed!) that Sherlock Holmes had been real, actual, flesh and bloodâand always would be. This had been
his
slipper.
The men were watching me curiously as I stood at this place to which, on my giant crutch, I had hobbled. They seemed to grasp the factâyes, even the Brown Recluse seemed to knowâthat they were in the presence of deep human emotion. The room was still, save for the grassy whisper of the clock. Through the open window came faintly the sweetness of the slashed clover up somewhere above the fog which set its wisping, spectral fingers across the weathered sill.
Slowly I reached up and took the Persian Slipper in my fingers. My hand trembled with excitement. O, you dear, lovely, old thing. I must somehowâsomeday possess you.
Everyone there must have surely heard my murmur. Yes, even the Brown Recluse.
Yet no one moved, no one spokeânot even as I tucked the slipper firmly in the space between head and shoulder and hopped and scraped across the oriental carpet to the deep Morris chair where the Master might once have sat deep in a cocaine revery of Irene Adler or the abominable Dartmoor dog. I lowered myself slowly into the leather and rested my thick crutch on the carved arm. Then I reached down and slipped off my costly, but rather practical looking, five and a half quadruple A shoe. I lay it beside my stockinged foot. I wriggled my pretty painted toes in happy anticipation. Dare I do it?
I knew every eye was upon me in that moment. I did not look up.
I took the Persian Slipper out from the hollow between cheek and shoulder where I had held it and lowered it to my beautiful foot. I slipped it on. I did not stand upâO, no, this was not for walking. It was for feeling, for dreaming,
for being in another time, another place. I did not look at the men. I did not look into the bilious, yellow eyes of the Brown Recluse who, even there, in the comfort of that little room, hunkered above us all in his hideous brown-tweed cape. I looked at the windowâthe pretty lace curtains blowing gently on either side of a potted begoniaâand beyond the sill, the fog. And I knewâI mean I was quite logically convincedâthat so long as the Persian Slipper so clasped my foot that I was in Englandâin the London of a misted metropolitan nightâwith street lamps glowing in the fleecy murk like Van Gogh sunflowers amid some drenching dark. And somewhere up the street, in Buckingham or Windsor, Victoria was sleeping more soundly thanks to me and Sherlock Holmes!
I tore my eyes from Fancy then and faced the five silent pairs of eyes.
It feelsâO, it feels as thoughâas though it has always been there. On my foot. O, and did you each see my foot? Yes, you, Mister Gribble, yes, I know
you
have seen it! Did any of you ever see a lovelier foot?
I kicked my leg like a dancer, there in the lampshine. Now, there were fireflies out in the fog, but they were not really fireflies at allâthey were the wink of carriage lamps on fleeing hansom cabs or glimmers of dusky, hangdog flames leaked out of dark lanterns carried by bodysnatchers and Resurrectionists from up in the Mews.
Can't you see? I said, that the Persian Slipper is really mine?
And so it may well be, said Harry Hornbrook with a kindly nod into the smoke of his Marsh Wheeling stogie. Next year.
Next year?
Why, yes, said Gene Voitle. If you win it.
Win it? I murmured. How vulgar. I don't believe I understand.
The Brown Recluse rose. He appeared more menacing, more virulent as his huge, brown-caped figure soared up out of his chair. He glowered meanly down at me.
This year, he said. It seems that I am the winner.
Winner? Will one of you be so kind as to explain?
I shall not tax you with the details of the answer which followedânor the truly obscene ritual that ensuedâsave to say that in the initial year of its organization, the local chapter had voted to have an annual awardâpurely honoraryâto the Irregular who solved a crime to have been committed by someone other than the person charged by the authorities in Glory or in the boundaries of the Ohio Valley.
As this was being explained to me (as I sat listening in disgust), the Brown Recluse came scuttling across the room, lifted the adorable slipper from my reluctant hands and replaced it on the mantelpiece after a moment of proprietary weighing of it in his own fingers.
It is not often, said Ory with a courteous nod to the sheriff, that law-enforcement officials in these times arrest the wrong person. But it does happen.
He lighted his cold bulldog brier. His friendly eyes twinkled as he regarded the sheriff.
No offense of course, Gene.
Voitle nodded and rubbed the tip of his bulbous, shiny nose.
No offense, of course, he said. But at least once a year during the last three years the law has been wrong. The Ashworth burglary three years ago, we arrested the wrong persons. The Moorhead holdupâthat was another mistake. And this year we nabbed and charged those three Trentor kids for a car theft in Benwood, and again we were wrong.
He glanced appreciatively in the direction of the Brown Recluse.
But thanks to you, Charlie Gribble, Justice finally triumphed.
I don't understand, I said, though I think I was beginning to.
Simply this, Miss Lathrop, said the Brown Recluse suddenly, in that nasal voice of his which seems to penetrate and spoil every cranny of peace in a room. Every year for the past three yearsâsince, indeed, I founded this chapter of the Baker Street IrregularsâI have proven
the true author of a crime instead of the one wrongly accused.
How? I managed to gasp. You?
By the simple application of those rules of logic which your late father expounded and taught, he said. And with the methods of the Masterâthe great Sherlock Holmesâwhom I have adored (and studied) since childhood.
I think not, I said icily. I think much more recently than that, Charlie.
Well, you are mistaken. My father had a large library of great books. He had many original Doyle manuscriptsâhe had the complete file of the
Strand
Holmesâhe had every first edition. He even hadâ.
Yes, I think I know, I said, getting laboriously to my leg. He had an inscribed photograph of Doyle.
The spidery hulk wavered. A snicker of wet apology was heard.
Why, no, he said. He was never so fortunate as that. But to get on with itâI have won the Persian Slipper for two years and if my fellow members are to be believedâI am to win it again tonight.
A murmur of assent went round the group. The fog piled white as Dickens' dreams against the lacy panes and I was in the midst of a vanished England.
For a year, I said, nervously. You possess it for a year.
A year is the limit, said Ory. Unlessâwell, we've never been faced with
this
one.
What is that? I asked, my curiosity insatiable now.
The solving of one kind of case, said Harry Hornbrook. By one of the Irregularsâwould mean that he could keep the Persian Slipper in perpetuity.
And what sort of case might that be?
Something, luckily, we haven't had to deal with in this fine little community, observed Sheriff Voitle.
I ask what it isâthis special crimeâto bring so special a reward for solving.
Murder.
Did you say murder?
Yes, murder. Any member who solves a murder is, at the next meeting, awarded the Persian Slipper.
Toâto keep?
In perpetuity, said Harry then.
I don't mean to discourage you, ma'am, said Ory, but we got a pretty clever sheriff here. And we have Charlie Gribble.
Yes, I said, in a voice I struggled to steady. I know you have him. The Brownâ
It came out despite myself.
âthe Brown Recluse.
What did you say, my dear? asked Harry Hornbrook.
I said you must excuse me, I stammered, and scraped and hobbled to the door. I shan't stay for the award. I shall pass this meeting entirely by, I think, gentlemen. I have the most unremitting headache in years.
And I was gone from themâinto the fogs of that London night, along the sacred Thames, along my lovely old Ohio.
The next three years passed by in dreary progression. A horse theft the first year and the true thief unveiled got the Brown Recluse the treasured Slipper award. The second year vandals broke into the Bowser Feed Company and stole six hundred pounds of chicken mash. Again the Brown Recluse got the honor. And the slipper. The third year he won it for locating another stolen car.
Stolen cars, horse thieves, chicken feed!
What a farce it was!
And the lovely Persian Slipper showing a little more wear, a little more age, a sequin missing here or there as the relentless years unfolded.
I determined one chilly September night in that last year that this should end. Abruptly. I had worked hard on all the cases in question. To tell the truth, all of the members were as eager to help me win the award as I wasâI think they knew it meant something special to me. They seemed to relinquish all personal ambitions to possess it. But each yearâthough I did my homework faithfully (and, as nearly as possible,
following the Master's methods)âthe Persian Slipper went to the Brown Recluse.
Damn him!
I knew that cold September night that this spider must be crushed.
Forever.
I resolved that the Brown Recluse should be dead before morning.
I am not one of your modern cynics writing now in the mode so prevalent that dwells with obsessive and feverish particulars on acts of violence. So I shall be terse.
There is a venerable and gigantic elm at the corner, beyond the single street lamp, at Water Street and Twelfth. The tree is thought to be some six or seven hundred years old, and its great roots have thrust tough fingers under the brick sidewalk, giving it a lovely tilt and bulge and ripple. In the fog, with the feathered luminescence of the street lamp behind it, it looks like some enormous Druid priestâpresiding over some mossy, sacred ritual.
It was behind this tree that I waited that biting September night. From where I leaned, I could scarcely make out the shape of my house, though I could distinguish the guttering candle flame in the window of the little fruit and vegetable storage room off the pantry.
I was frightened, but I was determined.
It was perhaps ten-thirty. I kept my eyes fixed, piercing as best they could the scarcely penetrable fog which lay on the land toward the center of town. Every light was a golden spider sending out myriad, shimmering strands to form, in each pocket of dark, a golden web. But the spider for which I waited was not golden. I had taken my crutch from the pit of my arm and braced myself securely against the great, ancient tree. Somewhere out on the river voices drifted from boys in skiffs, out gigging frogs. A dog barked, muffled, secret, beyond the mist. I faced up Twelfth Street, the direction from which he would come from the Bank. At the very moment when the town clock struck eleven in the tower of the courthouse somewhere up in the submerged village, I heard those footsteps. Footsteps and the unmistakable chink of the steel ferrule of the golden-headed walking stick as he struck it ahead of him along the rippled brick sidewalk. But, heavensâhe was coming
from
the house, not
toward
it. He had gotten home early, it would seem, and now was returning to the bank for some late workâthose dreary mercantile schemes which seem to occupy his professional life, at least.