The Biggest Part of Me (12 page)

Jason sighed heavily as he gazed at his ruined toy.  He took about a second to feel disheartened and then again determined in his heart that CARL
would
be ready for the fall markets.  Looking to Hal he said, “Take this model out and find out what went wrong.”  As Hal took the now wet robot out, Jason said.  “Let’s continue with the meeting, shall we?”  

              A few hours after the meeting, Jason saw Jane slipping out the back door.  “Where are you going?”

             
“I’m going for a walk on the beach,” Jane said as she closed the door behind her.  Business had ended for the time being and everyone was relaxing, whether it was having a snack in the kitchen, playing a game of billiards in the game room, or taking a well-deserved nap. 

Jason cursed under his breath and quickly grabbed his heavy jacket, gloves, scarf, and hat.  He ran out of the house and caught up to Jane as she climbed down the last step of the walkway to the beach.

              “Are you crazy?  It’s freezing out here!”

             
“It’s not that cold,” Jane returned as she walked along the beach.

             
“Janie, it’s too cold to be out here.”

             
“I’ve walked on the beach in cold weather before.”

             
“Florida beaches in winter cannot compare with a New England Beach in winter,” Jason pointed out.  “Besides, I seem to recall a time you got so frozen at a beach that I had to carry you back to the car and . . warm you up.”

             
Jane smiled without looking at him, thinking of the instance Jason was talking about.  “A side benefit for going on a walk on a cold day.”

             
Jason narrowed his eyes, not sure about her meaning.  “Is that why you wanted to walk today?”

             
Suddenly embarrassed Jane stammered, “No, not at all.”

             
“I love it when you blush,” Jason said as he took her hands.  Jane looked up at him.  Her mistake.  She wanted to pull her hands away from his but she couldn’t.  The touch was warm and familiar as he gently put gloves on her.  Jason’s eyes were smiling into hers.  How could any woman resist? 

             
They walked together now in silence, each one in his or her own thoughts.  Looking out over the ocean, Jason spied white caps churning the frigid water.  He began to imagine miniature wave machines in small aquariums with tiny boats that would ride the small waves.

             
Jane noticed the intense focus of his eyes viewing the ocean.  “What are you thinking?”

             
“Just thinking about a toy design.”  He grinned at her.

             
“You’re always designing and creating toys, aren’t you?”

             
“It’s what I do.  It’s my life.” 

Jane stopped walking, causing Jason to stop.  Watching him, delighting in the joy that she saw on his face, she said, “Tell me why?”

Jason took a breath to contemplate his answer.  He looked out at the ocean.  “It makes me happy.  It keeps my head straight.  When I’m stressed, when I feel that I’m losing it, all I have to do is envision a new toy.  Any time in my life when I faced hard times, I had my dreams of toy designs to help me through.  Let me tell you, CARL has gotten me through a lot of long nights.”  He smiled.  “And, I love the idea of kids having fun with my toys.  I get a kick out of thinking of their eyes on Christmas morning, happy to be getting one of my toys, one of my creations.”  He turned to look at Jane smiling at him.  “I guess it’s strange to hear me talk about my toys as if I were their parent.”

Jane thought for a moment and swallowed hard.  “I know just how you feel.  I feel the same way about my marketing campaigns.”

Studying her face Jason’s eyes lowered to her mouth and with a bit of pathos he said, “I guess we chose the right paths, then.”

“I guess so,” Jane whispered.    

              They started walking again.  After a while, Jane began to shake.  “Maybe we should head back,” she said as the freezing weather began to reach her bones.  By the time they were nearing the walkway back to Jason’s house Jane knew she was in trouble.  Her face was feeling numb.  Her eyes were heavy.  Her limbs moved slowly.  With her teeth chattering she barely whispered, “Jay . . Jay.”

             
Jason looked down at her and saw her pink face, her cracked lips, and her watering eyes.  “Janie, are you okay?”

             
“Jay, I’m cold.”

             
“I knew this would happen.  Here.”  Jay took off his scarf and wrapped it around her neck.  He put his hat on her head.  Then he added, “Put your arms inside my jacket around my waist.  Hold on tight.”  The feel of his body instantly started to warm her chilled bones.  She held on to him and laid her head against his chest.  The wind had picked up and she closed her eyes and held on tight, enjoying his touch, his fragrance mingling with the salty air.  She tried to keep up his pace but got slower and slower.  Finally, Jason placed an arm under her legs and lifted her, carrying her towards the house.  She leaned against his chest, exhausted by the cold. 

Jason headed for the hot tub on the back porch.  Taking their jackets and shoes off Jason helped Jane into the steaming water, both of them fully clothed.  Jason drew Jane into his arms and held her tight, rubbing her arms to bring the warmth back to her.  All thought drifted out of Jane’s mind as she let this strong, wonderful, compassionate man take care of her.

              Shelly appeared from the kitchen door with a puzzled look on her face.  “Is everything all right, boss?”

             
“Jane had a little trouble with the weather.  Would you get a couple of large beach towels?  Oh, and make sure there’s a fire in the hearth.”

             
Hearing the door close, Jane looked up into Jason’s eyes and said, “Thank you.”

             
Staring at the beautiful vulnerability in her big blue eyes, Jay replied, “You’re welcome.”

             
Their eyes held as neither wanted to look away.  Then simultaneously their faces reached towards each other.  Their lips joined in a soft contact.  The touch was only a second long, followed by another soft touch, and then another.  Then the kiss held until the sound of the door caused Jane to break away.

             
Shelly set the towels on a chair by the hot tub. “Anything else I can get for you?” Shelly asked trying to mask the smile on her face at the sight of her boss holding Jane, looking dazed.

             
“No, thanks Shelly,” Jason said wanting her to leave immediately.

             
She continued smiling as she slowly walked back into the house.  Glancing back at her boss, she winked.  Jason glared at her but kept his arms around the shivering woman.

             
He turned back to Jane wanting to continue that wonderful kiss when he heard account executive Maggie Sanders, Vincent, and Sally coming to get into the hot tub.  Jason explained to them what happened to Jane as he continued to cradle her against his chest.

             
“Mr. Collins, you should probably get Jane indoors.  Give her a shot of brandy and sit her by the fireplace,” Sally said.

             
“Let me guess, volunteer fire fighting, Little Rock?” Vincent asked.

             
“No.  Ski rescue, Aspen.  We dealt with a lot of nearly frozen people.”

             
“Amazing,” Vincent muttered.

             
Jane didn’t hear the conversation going on.  Her shivering wasn’t entirely due to the cold weather.  The tender kisses had been unexpected.  She hadn’t planned it, it just happened.  It had jolted her all the way down to her toes.  If this had been a test of sorts, she had royally failed.  How could she be just friends with this man?

For a moment she thought about “what ifs.”  What if she had been able to find him after her twenty-first birthday?  What if she had just told him how crazy in love she had been with him?  What if they had gotten married and worked together to build his business? 

              But now it was too late.  They had chosen their paths.  She had gone on with her life; he had gone on with his.  Too much had happened since.  Too much time had passed.  There was nothing left except for their history and an attraction that still sizzled.

             
Suddenly feeling depressed, Jane moved away from Jason.  “I’ll go in and change now,” she said.

             
“Are you sure?” Jason asked.  Jane nodded.  “Okay, change and get in front of that fireplace.  I’m going to get you a brandy to drink like Sally suggested.”

             
Meeting in front of the roaring fire, Jason gave Jane a small glass filled with amber liquid.  “Here, drink this.”  Jason immediately noticed the stiffness in Jane’s body, the cool blue eyes looking past him as if she were a million miles away.  He watched her drink the brandy, wondering what she was thinking about.  Obviously, the tender moment between them was broken.  Fine with him.  It wasn’t a good idea anyway, he reasoned.  So he’d stand there and make sure Jane drank her brandy.  Then, he decided, he’d leave her alone.

             
Obediently, Jane finished the drink as she looked into the flames.  Her mind was made up.  She had to concentrate on promoting CARL and forget everything else.

And maybe plan her wedding.

CHAPTER FIVE

The weekend in the Hamptons had been wonderful for everyone.  The team from Patterson came back into the office Monday morning eager to tell everyone about the beautiful accommodations by the Talbot Toy Company. 

Jane was not in a good mood.

Over and over she replayed the events of that day in the hot tub, whether she wanted to or not. Thankfully, no one except for Shelly had witnessed the kissing in the hot tub.  How could she have kissed him? 
Again!
  She was thoroughly disgusted with herself.  It was time to start planning her marriage to . . . Ed.  Ed, Ed, Ed!  Why was she having trouble remembering her fiancé’s name?  There was no doubt about it.  Jason was confusing her brain cells.  Well, no more, she determined.  Her decision to interact with Jason only in a business capacity was the only decision to be made.  They couldn’t afford any more casual exchanges, recalling shared experiences, and especially touching of any kind.

             
Her mind went back to the house in the Hamptons.  The rest of the weekend there had been no tenderness from Jason.  He was all business.  The dark, hard-edged look in his eyes had returned.  Jane was frustrated.  Wasn’t that exactly what she wanted?  For Jason to be all business?  Jason hadn’t paid her any more attention after the brandy.  She knew it shouldn’t bother her so much but it did.

             
He had been so gentle with her, had cared for her, and then . . nothing.  What she had been expecting, she didn’t know.  Maybe she did know and that was the reason for her terrible mood.  She had seen a flicker of the man she used to know, and she liked that flicker very much.  Then it was gone.  She wished she hadn’t seen it at all. 

             
Back and forth she went.  Wanting his affection, shunning his affection.  Yearning for his affection, dreading that affection.  The conflicting thoughts in her head produced a splitting headache.

             
Work seemed to increase as the day went by.  She tried to focus on that and not Jason.  By early afternoon, her phone was ringing off the hook with annoying little details set in motion by the weekend, and now was her job to pull off.  She wasn’t prepared for this.  Stressed to the max, she finally announced to Sally, “I’m taking a coffee break.  I’ll be back in fifteen.”

             
After relaxing at a coffee shop for not fifteen but twenty minutes, she decided to get back to the grind.  Sally anxiously met her.  “Mr. Collins has been calling for the past fifteen minutes wanting to talk to you.”

             
“Did he say what it was about?”  Jane tried to sound unconcerned.

             
“No, but when you weren’t back in fifteen minutes like you said, he was very angry.  He said he couldn’t reach you by cell.”

             
“I turned it off.  I’ll call him back now.”  A little nervous, Jane punched in his number and was informed that he had left the office.  She could have called his cell phone but decided to let him receive the message that she had returned his call.  She was going back to work.  Half an hour later, Jason showed up in the doorway of her office, hands on his hips, seething.  He turned, closed the door, and stomped towards Jane.

             
“Is this what I’m paying good money for?  To wait around until you decide to return from your coffee break?” he said, raising his voice.

             
“I beg your pardon.”  Jane was not in a mood to be spoken to that way, even if he was the client.  She politely but firmly explained.  “It’s been a madhouse around here all day and you happened to call when I got my first break.  You want apologies then I’ll give you one.  Sorry!” she returned sarcastically.