The Billion Dollar Bachelor (14 page)

Jax let go, driving himself into her, letting her mouth take the hoarse sounds he made and her body the sharp thrusts. Giving her everything he had to her.

And when her teeth sunk into his lower lip, her body bowing in his arms, he gave one final thrust, as high and deep in her body as he could get, conscious of only one thought as the pleasure exploded through him, as swift and powerful as a lightning strike.

She was his and he would never let her go.

*

Pandora kept her head pressed against Jax’s shoulder, her eyes closed, aftershocks pulsing through her. In the blackness behind her closed lids, sparks were igniting, flaring, dying. She couldn’t breathe.

You’re mine.

The sense of suffocation worsened and she abruptly pulled away from him, sliding off his lap, tugging her dress down over her shaking thighs. The muffled sounds of the restaurant outside the curtained space carried through, people going on with what they were doing as if nothing had happened. As if she hadn’t just lost herself. Given every part of herself.

All she’d wanted to do was push through that detachment of his like she had the day before. Get another taste of what was on the other side. And now she had.

You’re mine.

She blinked at the red marks on her thighs. The marks of his hands on her.

“Are you okay?” Jax’s voice was as hoarse and rough as she felt.

“Yes. I’m fine.” For some reason she didn’t want to look at him.

“I’m taking you home,” he said decisively. “We can finish this there.”

He didn’t ask for her opinion but she didn’t protest. She felt … Jesus, she didn’t even know. Shocked. Dazed. Shaken.

You’re mine …

Taken …

Jax didn’t open the curtains, dealing with the condom and doing up his pants. Then he laced his fingers through hers and slipped with her through a back way that protected people’s need for privacy. A 2nd Circle staff member waited for them and guided them to a door at the back of the restaurant and then out of the club without anyone seeing them.

Their limo was already waiting at the curb, and Jax pulled the door open for her so she could get in.

The door closed behind her with a heavy sound.

You’re mine.

Pandora’s throat tightened. She didn’t know how to process that. She didn’t even know what he meant.

No other men. Not now. Not ever …

She took a deep, silent breath, trying to force air down into her lungs.

His arm snaked around her waist, drawing her over the seat, up against him. He nuzzled against her neck, his breath warm on her skin. “That was … amazing.
You’re
amazing.”

Yes, it had been. She hadn’t cared about where they were. That they were in public. She’d only wanted to close the distance between them. Release his intensity, his passion. To show him that there was freedom in letting go. And he’d given it to her. Given her everything.

You’re mine.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

She realized she’d gone stiff in his arms, her whole body tight with a fight-or-flight reflex. Strange. “Nothing,” she said. “Just … tired.”

Well, that’s a straight-out lie.

Yeah, it was but then, she had no idea what to say. Her feelings seemed to be tangling themselves up in a massive knot that she couldn’t unravel, couldn’t even begin to make sense of.

“Not too tired, I hope. I was promised scarves.” He pushed her hair over her shoulder, his mouth brushing her neck and she shivered helplessly in response.

Well, that at least was easy enough to figure out. Desire always was.

The ride back to the penthouse was a quiet one but he didn’t seem to expect her to talk, which was great. Instead he touched her, kissed her, stroked her. All the little touches he’d made in public, now in private. It was like what had happened back in the restaurant had released him from whatever had been holding him back. His rigid self-control had fallen utterly by the wayside.

She should have loved that she’d somehow broken through to him. But instead she felt … afraid almost. Which was strange because she’d never been afraid of him before. Even the night she’d first met him in the bar, she hadn’t felt like this.

As they walked through the front door of his penthouse, Jax backed her against the wall in the hallway, pinning her there with his body. Kissing her hungrily. He put her hands up on the wall on either side of her head and covered them with his own, palms together, fingers intertwined with hers as he kissed her.

She could feel her body responding, aching for him, but fear sat in her gut in a small, cold lump and not even the heat of sexual desire seemed to melt it away.

“Now,” Jax breathed against her throat. “I recall something about red scarves … “

The ones she’d brought at a store today. Expensive red silk. And she’d had visions of him using them on her since they hadn’t done that yet. Of her using them on him, too. The fantasy had been thrilling and she’d been looking forward to it but now …

No other men. Not now. Not ever. You’re mine.

The feeling of suffocation was back. She pulled her hands down, pushing against his chest, needing space, needing air. “Let me go,” she said thickly. “Please, Jax.”

“What?”

“Move.” He wasn’t fast enough so she shoved at him. Hard. “I can’t … I can’t breathe.”

He stumbled back, his eyes dark in the dim light of the apartment. “What’s wrong?”

“I just … I need some air.” She turned and walked quickly into the lounge area, trying to calm her racing heart. Trying to breathe and just calm the fuck down because she had no idea what was wrong with her.

Yes, you do. You’re his. He wants to own you. Tie you down. Trap you.

She tossed her purse down on the couch, her heart still beating fast and hard, adrenaline firing through her. Then she turned round.

“What’s going on, Pandora?” He was walking slowly toward her, a fierce light in his eyes. With his tie askew and her lipstick on his mouth, a smear of it in one corner, he bore absolutely no resemblance to Jax Morrow, CEO. Cool and calm and detached. This was another man. The man she knew when the walls came down and he gave in to the passion that burned inside him. The Huntsman.

She held up a hand, palm out. “Don’t. Just … stop. Please.”

He halted, a frustrated expression crossing his face. “Are you going to tell me what the problem is or do you want me to guess?”

How strange their roles were now reversed. At the beginning of the evening, she’d been the one demanding answers.

And now you’re afraid to give them.

No, she wasn’t. Of course she wasn’t. “Why did you say that?”

“Why did I say what?”

“Back at the restaurant. You said ‘you’re mine.’”

He didn’t respond, only stared at her, eyes glittering.

“You told me I was yours. That there wouldn’t be any other men.” She took a deep, silent breath. “Did you mean it?”

Still he said nothing.

“Jax … .”

“Yeah. I meant it.” His voice was harsh. “I meant every fucking word.”

Anger, hot and sharp, flooded through her. “Well, that’s too bad because I’m not yours, asshole. I’m not a piece of property. I’m not anyone’s damn possession, not anymore. And I certainly won’t be told who I can and can’t see.”

“Why not? Why can’t you be mine?” Color stained his cheekbones. “I want you, Pandora. I want you more than I’ve wanted anyone in my entire life. I want to keep you and I don’t want you sleeping with anyone else.”

A cold thread of panic began to wind through the anger boiling in her gut. “Keep me? What? Like some kind of pet?”

“We can get engaged. For real.” He began to come toward her again, stalking her like the tiger he was. “You can marry me.”

Marry him? Dear God, was he serious? For a second a rush of heat swept over her, mixed with a longing she didn’t recognize. Then both were drowned in a choking flood of fear. Her mouth dried, her heart beating so hard it was like an earthquake was inside her. “Stop!” Her voice was shaken. “Are you insane? I don’t want to marry you. Jesus Christ, I’ve only just gotten out of one cage, I don’t want to lock myself in another!”

Jax halted inches from her. He towered over her, all darkness and heat and raw passion. Overwhelming, dangerous. “You think marrying me would be a cage?”

“Wouldn’t it be?” she flung back. “I mean, that’s pretty much what I’ve got now, right?”

“Bullshit! You’re free to come and go as you please. I’ve never put any limits on you.”

“That doesn’t mean freedom, Jax! Not when everything I have now comes directly from you. My home, my job, my income. It’s all yours. Nothing I have is mine.” Dizziness gripped her. All the freedom she’d thought she had, all that independence … . It was a lie. An illusion she’d chosen to believe. Why? Why had she believed it?

Because you’re happy with him and you don’t want to leave.

Panic squeezed tight inside her and she backed away from him, wanting to put distance between them any way she could.

“I thought you wanted this,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You said this was important. That it shouldn’t be controlled. And you’re right. It
is
important.
You’re
important. I don’t want to control it. I don’t want to limit it, so why can’t we see how much more it can be?”

“I know what I said. But … I can’t …” She stopped, unable to untangle the knot of emotions inside her. God, this was screwed up.
She
was screwed up. Part of her was desperate to get out and yet part of her wanted to stay with him.
And never leave …

“My freedom is more important,” she forced out. “I’m sorry, Jax, but it’s more important than this. More important than you.”

“Snow …” He reached for her.

“No,” she said, knocking away his hand. “Not Snow. I’m not a princess shut up in a glass coffin. Not anymore. I’m free now. I can make my own damn decisions.” She had to get away, find somewhere to breathe. Away from him. “And I’m getting the hell out of here.”

Pandora tried to step past him but before she could, his arm slid around her and he was pulling her close, her shaking body up against his.

“Don’t,” Jax said fiercely. “Don’t go. Be mine, Pandora. Let’s try this. Marry me.”

The heat of him burned through the material of her dress, through her skin, through her flesh, into her heart. Searing her. She would never escape him. She knew it with every breath in her. He’d imprinted himself onto her the moment they’d locked eyes in the bar.

And you don’t want escape him, either …

Panic fluttered, a bird caught in a net. God, she had to get out of here. Now. “Let me go, Jax!” She pushed at him and instantly his arms fell away.

But she could still feel him on her. In her. Everywhere.

You’ll never be free.

“I love you, Pandora.” Coiled tension pulled taut every line of his tall, broad figure.

Her throat tightened and beneath the fear and the anger, a dull pain stabbed, an old familiar longing digging in deep.

Love. She didn’t want love. Love was the strongest cage of all.

“And that’s why I have to go,” she said. “I’m sorry, Jax.”

If she didn’t leave now, she had a horrible feeling she never would.

*

Jax didn’t move as she went past him, going over to the couch to pick up her purse. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to turn. To grab her. To hold her tight. To never let her go.

He’d never felt anything so raw, like she’d torn off his skin and left all his nerve endings exposed.

Somehow she’d smashed the wall between himself and his emotions, the wall he’d carefully built and maintained, and now that it was in ruins, he didn’t know how to build it back up again.

His detachment was gone. Vanished. All he was left with was this burning, terrible need for her. Love. He’d known what it was the moment she’d pushed him away, the second she’d told him she wanted to leave. Only love would hurt this much. And only love would have made him forget himself enough to say what he should never have said.

After all, he’d done it once before, caught between love for his little brother and his mom, hurting and wanting to help them both. Ending up with nothing.

Just like he was ending up with nothing now.

Because his love was never enough, was it?

“If you leave now, you can’t ever come back.” He couldn’t keep the bitter anger from his voice. “Because I won’t let you go a second time.”

“Don’t worry,” she said, a cracked edge in her tone. “I won’t be coming back.”

His jaw ached he held it so tightly. “I’ll announce our split to the press tomorrow.”

“Jax …” His name was a breath at his back. “You don’t have to do that. We can keep up the pretense another week or so, can’t we? I don’t want Dad to—”

“You wanted your freedom, Pandora. So I’m giving it to you. You won’t have to deal with me or Morrow ever again.”

Silence behind him.

When she spoke, her voice was soft. “But what about the company? Did you find anything on Dad?”

“Let me deal with the company and your father. I was the one who got us into this mess, not you.” He closed his hands into fists. “Now go. Before I change my mind.”

He held himself very still as he heard her move away because if he made the slightest movement, he’d be turning and going after her. Locking the door so she couldn’t escape. Keeping her here.

He’d once thought he’d never do that to her, but love changed the equation. Made people do stupid things. And he didn’t trust himself around her, not an inch.

Her footsteps sounded on the floor as she made her way to the door. Then they receded, going down the hallway.

It’s good she’s going. She needs to be far away from you.

Yeah, it was a good thing. She needed to be free, not trapped and suffocated by him.

The front door of his apartment shut with a heavy, final sound.

Jax stood in his lounge, staring at the lights of the city in the darkness beyond, his hands in fists at his sides, a raw, angry pain throbbing in his chest.

She’d torn something from him and he knew what it was.