The Billionaire's Secret Kink Box Set: Knox: Secret Alpha Billionaire Romance Bundle (Rosesson Brothers Book 1) (28 page)

Knox

Knox gripped the steering wheel hard, trying not to speed. His foot kept sinking to the floor when he wasn't paying attention though, betraying his eagerness to get back to San Francisco. His mother was talking! Well, not talking, but communicating by writing, and that was more than she'd done for twenty years.

Knox remembered her last words to him. She'd woken him up in the middle of the night and said she had to go to the hospital now, the baby was coming. He needed to be good for the babysitter and keep his brothers in line when they all got up in the morning. She'd brushed his hair off his forehead and kissed his cheek, then said she loved him. He'd never heard her voice again.

Knox didn't know very many details about the delivery. He'd been too young to understand back then, and his father had never been willing to talk about it when he was older. He knew she had a c-section, that she had lost a lot of blood, and that the baby had died. She hadn't come home from the hospital for over two weeks, and when she did, she looked different, smaller, weaker, sadder.

She had refused to even look at any of her boys for months, except for Phoenix. Phoenix had been four, and small for his age. Knox had caught his mother cradling Phoenix like a baby on more than one occasion, tears falling from her eyes as she stared at him and pressed his face into one of her breasts.

None of the rest of them had even been allowed inside her room. If Knox or Bronx or Daxton ever ventured inside the door, she would turn her face away until they left. If they tried to touch her, she would push them away, or curl into a small ball, or sometimes, when she had recovered physically, she would even march them to the door and push them out into the hallway.

Knox felt his throat constrict at the memory. It had hurt, being rejected by his own mother. As much as it had hurt him, it had hurt the younger boys more though. Bronx had only been six, and still desperately in need of a mother, but he hadn't gotten one. As Knox had realized his mother wasn't going to get better, wasn't going to recover, he had tried to play mother to his brothers. He had shielded them from their father's angry outbursts, lied for them to keep them out of trouble, cooked them dinner, tucked them in at night, soothed their hurts, and done his best to calm their fears.

Knox did remember that his mom had seemed to blame their father for the baby's death. If Felix ever tried to enter the room, his mom had gone crazy, making a high, keening noise deep in her throat and throwing things at him until he left. Books, dishes, water glasses, anything she could get her hands on. The first time Knox had seen it happen, he had rushed in, trying to help his mother, thinking his father must have done something bad, but she had turned away from him too, refusing his help, curling in on herself until both he and his father left the room.

Knox's thoughts went to the baby. A girl. Knox still remembered her name, Amelia Mae, and how much she had weighed, six pounds, four ounces, but he'd never seen a picture of her. He could imagine what she had looked like though. Tiny body, wispy blonde hair, heart-shaped face like his mother, tiny baby fingers and tiny baby toes. He didn't know why she had died. Only that it happened sometimes. And that his mother had never recovered.

They'd hired a nurse, and the nurse had taken care of his mother almost around the clock, moving in to the room with her, sleeping on a small bed in the corner for six years, until his father had finally moved his mother into Sunny Acres when Knox was sixteen. That was the same year his father had retired from the Army and started Rosesson Security.

The GPS chirped at Knox, pulling him out of his thoughts. He eased into the right hand lane of traffic, ready to merge onto the next highway, then looked at Mica. She leaned against the far window, her gaze far away, looking completely lost in thought.

Knox wondered what she was thinking about, guessing from the frown lines on her face that it wasn't anything good. He looked at the time, surprised to see they'd already been driving for two hours. Their plans had been loose on the way out, but he'd thought they could spend some time in Portland, maybe hole up in a hotel there together. But now that he'd heard the news about his mother he wanted to get home as quickly as possible. He just hoped the driving time wasn't deepening Mica's distress, giving her time to lose herself in thoughts that had to be causing her pain.

Knox reached across the cab of the truck to her, stopping to pat the dog on the head, then running his fingers down Mica's arm. "You're quiet," he said.

Mica smiled at him briefly, then shifted in her seat. "I can't help but wonder if he ever paid for what he did, you know? Did he go to jail? He said he was sorry, but how? Why? How did it happen in the first place?"

Knox frowned. "Did you want to stay and ask him those questions?"

Mica shook her head vehemently, her blonde hair flying. Knox felt a stirring in his gut and groin at the sight and clamped down on the feeling.

"No, I didn't even think of those questions while we were there. I'm glad we left. But now that I've had time to think about it, I feel like I want to know. I want to know all of it, even if it hurts."

Knox chewed on his bottom lip. He could understand that. "What are you going to do?"

Mica shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'll write him a letter. Ask him all the questions that I can think of. That way I don't actually have to talk to him."

"Letters are good."

Mica smiled at him again, and this time her smile looked more genuine. Knox relaxed slightly, even as she went back to the window and he lost her to her thoughts again.

Eventually, they stopped for food and bathrooms, stretching their legs and letting the dogs stretch theirs. They talked little, each caught up in their own thinking and pondering, their own worlds from before their lives had intersected the first time.

Knox

Knox drove an extra two hours without realizing it, without even thinking to check in with Mica, his own thoughts serving like a gag around his mouth. Something big was about to happen, he knew it. What his mother wanted to tell him, he couldn't guess, but he didn't think it would be a dinner order. He could feel it, had been able to hear it in Daxton's voice. His mother wanted him to know something that would change their lives forever. If only he could imagine what that might be!

A whimper from a dog in the back seat caught his attention. He blinked, realizing it was almost dark, the sun setting to their right. They needed to stop driving. The dogs needed a bathroom break. He looked at Mica, slumped against the window, her eyes closed. She could have been sleeping except for the tear track he saw glistening on her slack face.

He reached over to her. "Hey, you alright?"

Mica startled at the sound of his voice and sat up straight, swiping at her eyes with both hands. "Oh, sorry, I was—I guess I was thinking about what it must have been like for my mom, and well, it brought back a lot of memories of her when she was sick. Stuff I haven't thought of in a long time. Things make a little more sense now."

Mica turned in her seat and looked at him straight on. "She never trusted men, I know that. It was obvious to me even at that age. At the time I couldn't have put words to it, but I felt it. It made me like that too."

Knox nodded slowly. "She was young when it happened."

Mica raised one hand to her mouth and began chewing on a nail, something Knox had never seen her do before. "She was. She had me just after she turned eighteen, so she was seventeen when she was raped."

Knox felt a new surge of hate for the man they had left behind fill him. Seventeen!

From the corner of his eye he saw Mica pull her fingernail out of her mouth and look at it like she had never seen it before, disgust crossing her face. She shoved that hand under her leg and sat on it.

"I just can't stop thinking about it!" she cried suddenly, startling him. "Every time I close my eyes I see my mom's face and she's crying, and his face is right behind her, like maybe he's about to grab her from behind and—and..."

Mica dropped her head and Knox reached for her hand, pulling at the one she wasn't sitting on. "Shh," he soothed. "It's ok. It'll be ok."

"I know," Mica said, her head drooping. "I just wish I could stop thinking about it. Get some distance from it."

Knox took the next exit off the highway. They'd been driving too long. "You will. We'll get dinner, find something to do, then rest. You'll feel better in the morning."

Mica looked out the window and read the sign they were about to pass, her voice hitching slightly. "Mendocino. I've never been here."

"I have, years ago, when I was still working for my dad. We put in a panic room at a huge house overlooking the ocean. It's a gorgeous town."

Mica nodded, her eyes on the buildings they were passing. "Where are we going to stay?"

"You'll see," Knox said, determined to make the night a good one for Mica. He knew just the place, if they had an open room. He said a silent prayer they would and drove on, assuring the dogs they'd stop soon.

Knox turned west, into the sunset, driving past the rows and rows of white, ocean-town buildings. The road dipped and curved, and dumped them into a tiny parking area where a weather-beaten sign proclaimed they had arrived at the Bright Rocks Inn. Knox eyed the three cars in the parking lot. It was the off-season, so he thought maybe they had a chance of getting the room he wanted at the last minute.

Knox pulled into a stall and parked as Mica looked around at the foliage that blocked their view of the ocean and most of the inn itself.

"Are we staying here?" Mica asked, her voice weary.

"Maybe," Knox said, throwing the truck in park and jumping out to open the back door for the dogs.

Lulu and Tiny rushed off into the bushes, smelling everything as they went. Knox pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the number on the sign, asking two important questions as soon as a smooth, female voice answered.

"Bright Rocks Inn, how may I help you?"

"Hello, do you allow pets?"

"Yes sir, with a one hundred and twenty dollar pet deposit."

"Is your suite available?"

"Yes it is, but only for tonight. We have guests arriving tomorrow who have booked it."

"Perfect. Save it for me. I'll be inside in ten minutes or so. We are walking around the grounds right now."

"Your name, sir?"

"Knox Rosesson," Knox said, then bent and grabbed the dog's leashes from under the seat. Better to have them in case someone insisted the dogs be on a leash, even if they didn't need them.

The woman said her good-byes and Knox hung up, then looked at Mica, who was still sitting in the passenger seat, her thoughts a thousand miles away.

Knox shut his door and went around to the passenger side, opening her door and pulling her out of the truck gently. "I'll get the bags later. I want you to see the view."

Mica nodded half-heartedly and let herself be pulled along to an overgrown path to the right of the Inn's entrance. Knox pushed open a steel gate and led Mica inside, then called the dogs. The four-some trudged almost silently along the path through what looked like a dense forest until it opened up suddenly on the other side, the earth beneath them rolling downhill until it met a wide beach. Knox stepped aside so Mica could see the sunset, the dark orange glow almost completely sunk below the horizon.

Knox snaked a hand around Mica's waist and pulled her close as the dogs pushed past them, noses to the ground, heavy feet sinking in the soft sand of the empty beach. Knox took a deep breath, smelling the cool, salty air. He should have brought their jackets, as the ocean breezes made it much cooler on this side of the natural windbreak.

Knox looked at Mica and saw her eyes were still hooded. Her gaze was on the sunset but he could tell she wasn't experiencing it. She was still back in Oregon, still hearing that man admit his sins, still feeling her own visceral reaction to it.

Knox frowned, knowing the sooner he could get her out of her head, the sooner she could start recovering. He'd ignored her for the last several hours, stuck in his own speculations and wonderings, but he was done with that. It was time to focus on Mica, to bring her back to the here and now.

He pulled her out of the micro-forest onto the sand, watching her face carefully. Her eyes traveled over the horizon, seeing nothing, remembering something else.

Knox pulled her against the building, finding a tiny alcove to shelter them from the wind, then gathered her into his arms. "Still thinking about it?" he asked softly.

Mica's eyes focused and found him. "Yeah," she breathed. "I just can't believe it."

Knox tried to catch her eyes with his and hold them, but they slid away. He sighed and brushed her hair back from her forehead, tucking a blonde curl behind a delicate ear. He traveled his hand around her neck, lifting her tresses and letting them fall again as he massaged her shoulder and stared at her, looking first at her blue eye, then at her green one.

She pushed into his touch and he smiled, sliding his other hand up to join the first. She sighed and sank into him, finally joining him on the beach.

Knox massaged her shoulders for several more moments, then slid his hands down her body, looking for clues of what she would want from him, what would help her most. As his hands reached her hips she pressed her center into him and let out a deep, sighing breath. So his touch had brought her back, let her drop the memories for a moment. Touch, he could do. He would touch her all night if that's what she wanted.