The Birth Order Book (43 page)

4
. Miriam Adderholdt-Elliott,
Perfectionism: What’s Bad about Being Too Good?
(Minneapolis: Free Spirit, 1987), 18–20.

5
. Kevin Leman,
When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough
(Grand Rapids: Revell, 2007); and
Pleasers: Why Women Don’t Have to Make Everyone Happy to Be Happy
(Grand Rapids: Revell, 2006).

Chapter 6 Perfect—or Excellent?

1
. Leman,
Winning the Rat Race
, 125–27.

2
. David Stoop,
Self-Talk: Key to Personal Growth
(Grand Rapids: Revell, 1982), 120.

3
. Kevin Leman,
What Your Childhood Memories Say about You
(Wheaton, IL: Tyndale, 2008).

Chapter 7 The Lonely Only, Super Firstborn

1
. Toni Falbo, “Does the Only Child Grow Up Miserable?”
Psychology Today
, May 1976, 60.

2
. Alfred Adler,
Understanding Human Nature
(New York: Faucett World Library, 1927), 127.

3
. Leman,
Winning the Rat Race
, 21–22.

4
. My official title is “family psychologist and consultant to ABC’s
Good Morning America
.”

5
. US Census Bureau, “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2008,” released March 2009,
http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam/cps2008.html
.

6
. “Only Children: Cracking the Myth of the Pampered Only Misfit,”
US News and World Report
, January 10, 1994, 50.

7
. Peterson, “Kids without Siblings.”

8
. Lucille K. Forer with Henry Still,
The Birth Order Factor
(New York: David McKay, 1976), 255.

9
. Leman,
Winning the Rat Race
, 146–51.

Chapter 8 I Never Did Get No Respect

1
. Because Dr. Leman is a baby of the family, we (the editors) counted for him and learned that even in this new revised edition of
The Birth Order Book
, the middle children indeed still got the fewest pages. Sorry!

2
. Wilson and Edington,
First Child, Second Child
, 92.

3
. Forer,
The Birth Order Factor
, 77.

4
. Eleanor Estes,
The Middle Moffat
(Orlando, FL: Harcourt, 2001), quoted in Edith G. Neisser,
Brothers and Sisters
(New York: Harper, 1951), 154.

5
. Wilson and Edington,
First Child, Second Child
, 95.

6
. Donald J. Trump with Tony Schwartz,
Trump: The Art of the Deal
(New York: Random House, 1987), 3, 43–44.

7
. Wilson and Edington,
First Child, Second Child
, 99.

8
. Ibid., 104.

9
. Ibid., 103.

10
. Alfred Adler,
The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler
, ed. H. L. Ansbacher and R. R. Ansbacher (New York: Harper & Row, 1956), 379–80.

11
. Alfred Adler, quoted in Irving D. Harris,
The Promised Seed
(Glencove: Free Press of Glencove, 1964), 75.

12
. Pam Hait, “Birth Order and Relationships,”
Sunday Woman
, September 12, 1982, 4.

Chapter 9 Born Last but Seldom Least

1
. Wilson and Edington,
First Child, Second Child
, 108.

2
. Mopsy Strange Kennedy, “A Lastborn Speaks Out—At Last,”
Newsweek
, November 7, 1977, 22.

3
. Wilson and Edington,
First Child, Second Child
, 109.

4
. Ibid., 108.

5
. Kevin Leman,
Parenthood without Hassles
(Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 1979), 11.

6
. Ibid., 12.

7
. Wilson and Edington,
First Child, Second Child
, 109–10.

Chapter 10 The Winning Edge in Business

1
. For a complete discussion of using birth order knowledge in business, see Leman,
Winning the Rat Race
, from which this chapter was adapted. (See especially chapters 4, 5, and 6.)

2
. Harvey Mackay,
Swim with the Sharks without Being Eaten Alive
(New York: Ivy Books, 1988), 23.

Chapter 11 Birth Order Marriages Aren’t Made in Heaven

1
. Toman,
Family Constellation
. Toman studied three thousand families before coming up with his conclusions. In a smaller study, Dr. Theodore D. Kempler, University of Wisconsin, researched 236 business executives and their wives and also discovered that certain birth order combinations made better marriages than others. The smaller study is documented in Lucille K. Forer,
The Birth Order Factor
, 187–88.

2
. Toman,
Family Constellation
.

Chapter 12 I Count Only When . . .

1
. Much of the material in this chapter on lifestyles and life themes is adapted from Leman,
Living in a Stepfamily
, chapters 6 and 7.

2
. Alfred Adler,
The Practice and Theory of Individual Psychology
(London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1923), 3.

3
. Adler,
Understanding Human Nature
, 31.

4
. Rudolph Dreikurs,
Fundamentals of Adlerian Psychology
(Chicago: Alfred Adler Institute, 1953), 35.

Chapter 13 Flaunt Your Imperfections

1
. see Luke 15:11–32.

2
. Kevin Leman,
Making Children Mind without Losing Yours
(Grand Rapids: Revell, 2005), 88.

Chapter 14 Two May Be Company . . . or a Crowd

1
. See Genesis 25:19–34; 27:1–40.

Chapter 16 Helping the Family “Cub” Grow Up

1
. Wilson and Edington,
First Child, Second Child
, 110–11.

2
. Neisser,
Brothers and Sisters
, 165–66.

About Dr. Kevin Leman

A
n internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, Dr. Kevin Leman has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology.

The New York Times bestselling and award-winning author of
Have a New Kid by Friday
and
The Birth Order Book
has made hundreds of house calls for radio and television programs, including
Fox & Friends
,
The View
, Fox’s
The Morning Show
,
Today
,
Oprah
, CBS’s
The Early Show
, Janet Parshall’s
America
,
Live with Regis Philbin
, CNN’s
American Morning
,
Life Today
with James Robison, and
Focus on the Family
. Dr. Leman has served as a contributing family psychologist to
Good Morning America
.

Dr. Leman is also the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. He is a founding faculty member of iQuestions.com.

Dr. Leman’s professional affiliations include the American Psychological Association, the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, and the North American Society of Adlerian Psychology.

In 1993, he was the recipient of the Distinguished Alumnus Award of North Park University in Chicago. In 2003, he received from the University of Arizona the highest award that a university can extend to its own: the Alumni Achievement Award.

Dr. Leman attended North Park University. He received his bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Arizona, where he later earned his master’s and doctorate degrees. Originally from Williamsville, New York, he and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson, Arizona. They have five children and two grandchildren.

For information regarding speaking availability, business consultations, seminars, or our annual Couples of Promise cruise, please contact:

Dr. Kevin Leman

P.O. Box 35370

Tucson, Arizona 85740

Phone: (520) 797-3830

Fax: (520) 797-3809

www.lemanbooksandvideos.com

Resources by Dr. Kevin Leman

Books for Adults

Have a New Kid by Friday

The Birth Order Book

Turn Up the Heat

Sheet Music

Making Children Mind without Losing Yours

Have a New Husband by Friday

Born to Win

Sex Begins in the Kitchen

7 Things He’ll Never Tell You . . . But You Need to Know

What Your Childhood Memories Say about You

Running the Rapids

What a Difference a Daddy Makes

The Way of the Shepherd
(written with William Pentak)

Home Court Advantage

Becoming the Parent God Wants You to Be

Becoming a Couple of Promise

A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids about Sex
(written with Kathy Flores Bell)

First-Time Mom