The Birthday Party of No Return! (11 page)

A week later, Cory and I were walking down my street. School was over, and we were still getting used to having the whole day free.

It was a warm day. The air smelled like fresh-cut grass. Bright green leaves were starting to open on the trees.

Cory laughed and shook his head. “I can't believe you and I had a wrestling match on the auditorium stage.”

“In front of the whole school,” I added. “Did you see the look on Ms. Lincoln's face? She was so shocked, she froze. She couldn't move!”

“I didn't see her,” Cory said. “I was too busy trying to fight you off.”

We both laughed. We had to laugh about it. Otherwise, it would be too embarrassing.

“We actually tried to kill each other,” I said. “I totally thought you had turned into a giant vulture.”

“How weird is that?” Cory said. “I didn't know why you were fighting me. I just thought you freaked out.”

“We were lucky it was the last week of school,” I said. “Otherwise, we would have been sent home. Suspended.”

We walked another block in silence. Some kids were tossing a red Frisbee in front of a house on the corner. Two dogs stood in the driveway barking at each toss.

“How did you get rid of that claw?” Cory asked.

“Rode my bike to the other side of town and dropped them both in a sewer,” I said.

“Huh? I gave you my claw. You tossed it away?” Cory said.

“Your claw was bad luck, too,” I told him. “Didn't you figure that out? They were both bad luck.”

“Hey — there's Laura,” he said, pointing.

She stood at the bottom of her driveway. Next to her, I saw two suitcases, a rolled-up sleeping bag, and some other junk.

She waved as Cory and I walked closer. “How's it going?” she called.

We stopped at the edge of her driveway. I glanced down the street. “You waiting for the Sports Camp bus?”

She nodded. “I'm so excited.”

“Yeah. You're going to have fun,” I said.

I tried to sound cheerful. I didn't want her to think I was bitter about the whole thing.

But Laura only won the scholarship because Cory and I fought onstage and were disqualified.

The yellow camp bus rumbled up to us and stopped. A driver in a gray uniform climbed down and started to load Laura's stuff into the luggage compartment.

“Well, bye,” she said. She started to the bus. “See you in the fall.”

She started to climb on, then stopped. She turned to us with a grin. “By the way, how did those claws work out for you?”

“Huh?” I stared at her.

“You never figured out that I was the one who sent them to you guys?” Laura asked, still grinning.

“No way!” Cory and I cried together.

She laughed. “Before I sent them to you, I kissed them both. I kissed them all over. I knew you'd wear them. And I knew
I'd
have all the good luck.”

Cory blinked. “You kissed them first? Then how come Lee and I had
good
luck for a while?”

Laura shrugged. “Beats me. I guess the kisses just take a while to kick in.”

She turned to me. “And I'll bet you never guessed that I pulled the claw from your trash can that night. And I stuck it in your backpack before the football game the next morning.”

I sighed. “No. I never guessed.”

“Well, I really wanted to win,” Laura said. “Sometimes you have to make your OWN luck — right?”

She climbed onto the camp bus. “Bye, guys!” she called. “Have an
awesome
summer!”

Well, Lee, that was a strange story with an unhappy ending — for
you
.

Actually, I think you were lucky. Lucky that you and Cory didn't rip each other to shreds with your beaks and claws.

Oh. But that was just a hallucination — right?

Good-luck charms can be very powerful. That's why I wear this black widow spider around my neck. So far, it has only bitten me
twice
.

That's lucky, right?

Thank you for bringing your story to me. I am the Story-Keeper. And I will keep your story here where it belongs. You know, here in the Hall of Horrors, There's Always Room for One More Scream.

“I don't want to go to Polly Martin's Halloween party,” I said. “I'm twelve years old, and I think I should be allowed to decide what parties I want to go to.”

I punched the couch cushion. “Polly gives the lamest parties on Earth. No. In the universe. Her parties are so lame, they give the word
lame
a bad name.”

My friend Devin O'Bannon laughed. “You're funny, Lu-Ann.”

“I'm not being funny!” I screamed. “I'm serious. Why should Halloween be ruined because —”

“You've been friends with Polly since kindergarten,” Devin said. He jammed a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“You sound like my mom,” I grumbled. “Just because we've known each other forever doesn't mean we're friends.”

Devin said something, but his mouth was so loaded with popcorn, I couldn't understand a word he said. What a slob. But that's okay. I mean, all my friends are jokers and weirdos.

Devin and I were sitting on opposite ends of the couch in my den. We both had our feet up on the coffee table. Devin kept scooping up handfuls of popcorn from the big bowl my mom made. Half of them went into his mouth, the other half on the couch and floor.

My side of the couch was clean. I don't like popcorn. I only like sweets. I knew there was a carton of rocky road ice cream in the freezer. But I was feeling too lazy to get up and get it. Too lazy and too upset.

“You know the other thing I hate about Polly's parties?” I said.

He grinned. “Besides
everything
?”

“She makes you pay,” I said. “Five dollars a person. Why do we have to pay money to be bored? I can be bored just sitting here with you.”

“Thanks, Lu-Ann. You're a pal.”

You can tell by the way I tease Devin that I like him a lot.

“Five dollars,” I muttered.

“Well, you know Polly. She's never seen a dollar bill she didn't like.”

“Guess Polly's idea of a great party game,” I said with a moan.

“Spin the Bottle?”

“No. Shut up. That's too exciting. Her idea of a good game is rubbing a balloon on your forehead until the static electricity makes it stick. Then seeing who can keep the balloon on his face the longest.”

Devin laughed again. “Got any balloons? We could practice.”

I gave him a hard shove. “Why do you keep laughing? It isn't funny.”

He spit out an unpopped kernel. Then he stuck it on my nose.

I slapped his hand away. “You are so immature.”

“I learned it from you.”

“Could you be any less funny?”

“I could try.”

I grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl and dropped it in his red, curly hair. He shook his head hard, sending popcorn flying all over the den.

As I said, I like Devin a lot. He's fun. Not like Polly Martin.

Polly is sweet and nice. Really. She's very smart and a total knockout with her big green eyes and dazzling smile. Like a toothpaste model or something.

Her problem is that she's soooo serious. All the time. I mean, she smiles sometimes, but I've never seen her laugh. She doesn't get jokes. She never knows when you're teasing her. She's into Green Power and saving the bald eagles and she's a vegetarian. You get the picture.

Not that there's anything wrong with all that. But I told you, my friends are all jokers and clowns and goof-offs. So it's hard to stay close friends with her.

“Why do you think being forced to go to Polly's Halloween party is so funny?” I asked Devin. “You have to go, too.”

“No, I don't.”

“Excuse me? Why don't you?”

His grin faded. He raised his eyes to the TV on the wall. We had it on with the sound off. The TV is always on in my house. Don't ask me why. There was some cooking contest on the screen, with teams of people scrambling to make cup-cakes as fast as they could.

“Lu-Ann, you might think you're the unluckiest person in the universe,” Devin said. “But I am. I would
kill
to go to Polly's Halloween party.”

“You're joking, right?”

“I wish.” He let out a sad sigh. “My Halloween is going to be a
lot
lamer than yours.”

I stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

He brushed more popcorn from his hair. “Do you know how to spell
tragic
?”

“Of course I do. I didn't have to take first grade three times like you.”

“I only took it twice,” he said. “My life is tragic, Lu-Ann. My Halloween will be tragic. It's the perfect word.”

Devin and I talk about perfect words sometimes. He knows I want to be a writer when I'm older. I'm really good at thinking up stories. Everyone says I have an awesome imagination.

My mom says my imagination is
too
awesome. She doesn't mean that in a nice way. She wishes I was more serious, like my little brother, Mitch.

“Don't keep me in suspense, creep,” I said. “Just tell me what's so tragic.”

“My dad bought a pumpkin farm,” he said.

“Your dad isn't a farmer. He works at an insurance company. Oh. Sorry. I mean, he
worked
at an insurance company. I know he's been looking for work. But … pumpkins?”

Devin rolled his brown eyes. “Tell me about it. Actually, he just leased it. It's one of those Pick-Your-Own-Pumpkin places. You know. You walk in the field and pull your own pumpkins off the vine. Big thrill, right?”

“We did that when I was five,” I said. “I thought those long, twisty vines were creepy. Mitch was two and he started to cry. So we had to leave.”

“I'm going to cry, too,” Devin said. “But Dad thinks he's going to make a fortune selling pumpkins. It's only one week till Halloween. How many pumpkins can he sell?”

I shook my head. “Oh, wow.”

“Wait,” Devin said. “Here comes the tragic part. He got permission to take me out of school all week so I can help out on the farm.”

“Oh, noooo,” I moaned.

“Oh, yes. So where am I going to be spending Halloween? In a pumpkin patch.”

“No way. No way.”

“Polly's party will be a total
thrill
by comparison,” Devin said, shaking his head.

His hand scraped the bottom of the popcorn bowl. “Hey, what happened to all the popcorn?”

“Very funny. Most of it's stuck to your teeth.”

I was joking around, but I felt bad for him. He's not a farm kind of guy. He actually spent his first seven years in New York City. Then his dad got transferred here to Dayton, Ohio.

But Devin is a city dude.

“You're just going to rot with the pumpkins,” I said sadly.

He sighed. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up.”

That made us both laugh. I checked the clock on the cable box. Then I jumped to my feet. “See you when you get back,” I said. “Good luck.” I gave him a hard, phony handshake.

He stood up. “Lu-Ann, where are you going?” he asked as I pushed him toward the front door.

“I have to go scare my little brother now.”