Read The Birthday Party of No Return! Online
Authors: R. L. Stine
Instructions?
I had a sudden flash. I remembered opening the box the claw came in. And I pictured the small, square sheet of paper that fluttered out of the box.
Arfy grabbed it and ran away with it.
Were those the instructions?
“Come with me,” Cory said. He started to grab my sleeve. But he pulled his hand away when he saw the sleeve was smeared with cake icing.
I followed him to his bedroom. He had rock posters all over his walls, from floor to ceiling. Some of them belonged to his parents and went all the way back to the 1970s. Very cool.
“I think I still have the instruction sheet that came with my claw,” Cory said. He began pawing through a desk drawer.
“Yes. Here.” He pulled out a square white sheet of paper and handed it to me. “You didn't read this?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. My dog took it and ate it.”
My eyes scanned the page of small type. There weren't many instructions. But I gasped when I found the one important rule:
“
This rare vulture claw will bring you good luck forever
,” I read. “
But you must follow one rule. You must never KISS the claw. Kissing it is forbidden.
”
“Oh, wow,” I murmured. “Oh, wow.”
I stared at those words. I read them again. My heart started to pound like crazy. I suddenly felt cold all over.
I kept reading:
“
If you kiss the claw, your luck will turn bad. And you will have very bad dreams, and your whole life will turn into a nightmare.
”
The instruction sheet trembled in my hand. I shut my eyes. I pictured myself kissing the claw. Many times.
When I opened my eyes, Cory was staring hard at me. “You kissed your claw â didn't you?” he said.
I nodded. “A lot,” I muttered.
“Bad luck,” Cory said.
“Yeah. Bad luck,” I said. “Bad luck all the time.” I sighed again. “Where did you get your claw?”
He shrugged. “Beats me. It just came in the mail.”
“Me, too,” I said. “Wish I'd read the instructions.”
“Lee? Where are you?” Mom called from the kitchen. “We have to go!”
“Coming!” I shouted. I started toward the bedroom door. But Cory grabbed my arm.
“I just want to ask you one more question,” he said.
I turned and waited for him to ask it.
“Why did you give your claw to me as a birthday present?” he asked. “To give me bad luck?”
My mouth dropped open. I could feel my face grow hot, and I knew I was blushing.
“Sorry,” I said. “It was a stupid idea. I ⦠I didn't want you to have
real
bad luck.” I shook my head. “Really. I'm sorry.”
His eyes went cold. He blew out a long whoosh of air. “Kind of a dirty trick,” he said. “You're supposed to be my friend.”
I opened my mouth to answer. But my eyes went to the open window.
The sky darkened suddenly. I saw an ugly creature soar toward the window. It filled the window. Huge. Let out a raw bleating sound.
An enormous gray and black vulture.
It stepped onto the window ledge, cawing loudly. It raised one leg.
The leg had no claw at the end!
Just a black stump. A ragged, ugly bump.
I uttered a cry as the huge bird lowered its head â and bolted into the room.
“Look out!” I screamed.
No time to duck. Or run.
It raised its wings high. Lowered its massive beak â and dove at me.
I screamed and covered my head.
Cory laughed. “I'm not going to hit you,” he said. “You don't have to duck.”
I blinked. I lowered my arms. I gazed at Cory. He stood staring at me, a puzzled expression on his face.
“Lee â what was
that
about?”
“Well ⦠I ⦔
No ugly bleating vulture in the room.
I was seeing things again. Another hallucination. I should have known.
“Are you okay?” Cory asked.
My whole body was trembling. “Not really,” I said. “This claw is messing up my brain.” I reached into my pocket and felt the claw. “I have to get rid of it.”
He nodded. “Yeah. As fast as you can.”
I apologized again for wrecking his birthday party. And for trying to pass off the bad-luck claw to him. Then I hurried to the kitchen to find Mom.
“So what happened, Lee?” Mom asked as we drove home. “What went wrong at the party?”
“Everything,” I replied. How could I explain?
Both hands on the steering wheel, Mom turned to stare at me. “Maybe you could describe it a little better than that?”
“I really can't,” I said. “I â I smashed his TV. Then I fell. And I knocked the food over. And then I fell again â on the cake. It was all a horrible accident.”
“Were you dizzy?” Mom asked. “Should we take you to Dr. Markoff?”
“No. I told you â it was an accident,” I said.
Mom nodded. She gazed out the windshield and bit her bottom lip. She only bites her lip like that when she's worried.
I stared out the car window. We passed a group of kids on bikes. They grinned at me and raised their arms. They all had claws instead of hands.
“Oh, noooo,” I muttered.
A scrawny gray and black vulture landed on the hood of the car. It stared at me through the windshield. Then it raised an ugly, clawless stump at me.
I'm living a nightmare!
I thought.
I can't tell what's real and what isn't real.
My life would never return to normal until I got rid of that horrible claw.
Mom pulled the car up our driveway. I pushed open my door and bolted out, eager to get going.
“There's something I have to do,” I said.
“Yes, there is,” Mom replied. “You have to walk Arfy.”
“Huh?” I started to protest. But Mom pushed me toward the house.
“Give Arfy a good long walk,” she said. “He's been lying around the house all day. He needs some exercise.”
“But, Mom â”
“No arguing,” she said. “Some fresh air will do you good, too.”
No, it won't
, I told myself.
Fresh air won't change my luck. Fresh air won't stop these frightening hallucinations.
I stepped into the house first. Arfy was waiting. The big sheepdog leaped onto me and tackled me to the floor. Then he wrapped me in a head-lock and planted wet tongue kisses all over my face.
I screamed. He had a vulture head. He was licking me ⦠licking me with a disgusting, scratchy vulture tongue!
“Noooo!” I rolled out from under him and jumped to my feet. His head was back to normal now. I grabbed his leash off the hook by the back door. I hooked Arfy up, and we headed out the door.
The late afternoon sun was dipping behind the trees. Long shadows stretched across the front yards. Trees shimmered with their fresh leaves.
“Whoa!” I let out a cry as Arfy started to run. “Slow down! Hey â take it slower!”
The big guy had been cooped up all day. I could see he wanted to stretch his legs. He wanted to
run
.
But I wanted to take it slow. I needed to be careful, to watch out for more hallucinations.
“Arfy â stop!” I shouted. “Arfy â stay! Stay, boy!”
He gave the leash a hard tug and bounded into the middle of the street. I tried to pull him back onto the sidewalk. But he was a lot stronger than me.
“Arfy â stop! Stop!”
He lowered his furry head and plowed on, picking up speed. Running down the middle of the street.
“Arfy â no!”
I heard a
snap
. The leash flew back and hit me in the chest. Arfy kept running.
Running
free
!
The leash had snapped off, and Arfy was on the loose.
“Stop! STOP!” I screamed.
This was not a hallucination. This was
real
. The dog kept running full speed, his four legs pounding the street pavement.
I chased after him, running as fast as I could. But the big dog was galloping now. My legs ached. My heart throbbed. I couldn't catch up.
“Arfy â please!” I wailed breathlessly. “Please stop!” I was in a total panic now.
I didn't see the black car. I only heard the squeal of tires.
A horn blared right behind me. So close and so loud that I screamed.
The tires squealed.
WHUMMMP.
The car hit me from behind.
I felt the bump at the bottom of my back. It didn't feel very strong.
But it sent me flying.
I didn't really have time to know what was happening.
I landed hard on my back a few feet away.
I died instantly.
No. I was alive. I didn't die.
I didn't even come close to dying. It was hard to believe but I actually wasn't hurt at all. Not a scrape.
I opened my eyes. I was sprawled flat on the pavement. Arfy stood over me. He lowered his head and began licking my face.
A small, dark-haired woman in a short black jacket and black skirt stood staring down at me. She had her hands balled into tense fists. Her whole body was trembling.
“You â you're okay?” Her voice came out in a whisper. “Should I call for an ambulance?”
I moved my arms and legs. I sat up. “I'm okay,” I said. “I feel fine.”
She let out a long whoosh of air. “I'm so glad,” she said. “I couldn't stop in time. You ran right out in front of me.”
“I was chasing after my dog,” I said. I held on to Arfy's leather collar.
“Can you stand?” The woman reached to help me up. “Does anything hurt? Want me to drive you home?”
Her hands on my shoulders were ice-cold. Her whole body still shook.
I let her pull me to my feet. I stretched, testing my arms and legs. I rolled my head around, testing my neck.
“I'm fine. It wasn't a hard bump,” I told her. “No problem. Really.”
She led me to her car. She insisted she had to drive me home.
I stuffed Arfy into the backseat. All the way home, I swore to her I felt fine. She pulled up the driveway and watched me lead Arfy into the house. She didn't leave till I closed the door.
Mom was waiting in the kitchen for me. “Lee, you got a phone message. From Coach Taylor. He said the tag football game is first thing tomorrow morning.”
“Tomorrow?”
She nodded. “Is this the final competition for the scholarship?”
“Yes,” I said. “It's my last chance.”
“Do or die,” Mom said.
I wished she hadn't put it that way.
“I know you'll be a star,” she added. She patted my shoulder. Then she made a face. “Ooh. What's that smell?”
I checked the bottom of my sneakers. “Oh, noooo.” I'd stepped in dog poop. Both sneakers were totally smeared with it.
No way I can be a star tomorrow
, I thought.
No way I can escape this bad luck. My life is getting more and more dangerous. I was hit by a car because of the claw.
What will happen next?
I knew I couldn't keep the claw another minute. I grabbed it and swung it around by the rope. Then I ran to the backyard.
Dad keeps our three trash cans behind the garage. I opened the first metal can and stuffed the claw inside it. Then I slammed the lid shut.
My heart was pounding. Sweat poured down my face. But I felt better already.
The claw was history. Time for my luck to changeâ¦