The Bishop's Daughter (43 page)

Abraham shrugged. He was glad for the interruption. Maybe Leona would go home now and this discussion would end. “I haven’t got the mules hitched up yet, anyhow,” he said, looking at his son.

Jake glanced at Leona with a look of concern. “You okay?”

Her only reply was a quick nod.

“What brings you over here this morning?”

“I needed to speak with your daed about something.”

Jake looked at Abraham as if he expected him to say something, but Abraham just stood there.

“How are my girls doing in school these days?” Jake asked, turning back to Leona.

“Just fine. They’re both eager to learn.”

“Won’t be but a few months, and the kinner will be out of school for summer break,” Jake commented.

“That’s true.”

Abraham cleared his throat. “You ready to help with the mules, son?”

“Sure, Papa, but if you and Leona aren’t done talkin’, I can bring the mules out on my own.”

“I think we’ve said all that needs sayin’.” Abraham looked at Leona. “Isn’t that right?”

She nodded, turned, and rushed out of the barn.

W
hat time is it? How long have I been here?
Jim rolled over to the edge of the couch and shielded his eyes from the ray of sun streaming through the living room window. “Holly,” he moaned. “I miss you, Holly. Why’d you have to turn your back on me when I needed your love and understanding?” He thumped the small pillow lying half under his head.
I wonder if she’s sorry for leaving what we’d begun. I wonder if she regrets sending me away
.

A car door slammed somewhere outside. At least he thought it was a car door. It could have been coming from the TV. No doubt he had left it on last night when he’d passed out on the couch after downing too many beers. He’d been drinking pretty hard for the last several days. Or had it been weeks since he’d told Holly about the kidnapping?

Jim’s head felt fuzzy, and his body felt like someone had used him as a punching bag. His mouth was dry and tasted like he’d been chewing on a dirty sock, but he didn’t care. Jim didn’t care about anything anymore. Two days after he’d made his confession to Holly, Ed had walked off the job, saying he was tired of covering for Jim.

Jim wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d gone to work, but that didn’t matter, either. He had lost his wife, his son, and now his girlfriend, so what difference did it make if he lost his business?

Clump, clump, clump
—he heard heavy footsteps on the porch.
Who’d be comin’ here so early in the morning?
At least he thought it was morning. It could be afternoon, for all he knew.

He heard the front door click open and tried to sit up, but a sharp pain sliced through his head, bringing him back to the couch. “Who–who’s there?”

“It’s me.”

Jim squinted at the man who stood a few feet away holding a
suitcase in one hand. “Jimmy?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Certain that he must be dreaming, Jim squeezed his eyes shut.

“I’ve wasted enough time in Amish country, and I’ve come home, Dad.”

Dad?
Jim opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times. Either he was in the middle of the best dream he’d ever had, or Jimmy really had returned home. He grabbed the edge of the couch and managed to pull himself to a sitting position, but his stomach rolled, and his head spun like a top. “Oh, I—I feel sick,” he moaned, letting his head slip back to the pillow.

Jimmy set his suitcase down and moved over to the couch. “Do you need me to get a bucket?”

“Beer. Get me a beer.”

Anger boiled in Jimmy’s chest like a raging sea. He’d given up on his mission to find his real family, said good-bye to the woman he loved, and driven over two thousand miles in four days to make things right with his dad. And for what? To find him like this?

“I’ll get you some coffee, but no beer,” he said, shaking his head in disgust.

“Beer. I need some beer.”

“What you need is a swift kick in the pants.”

His dad released a pathetic whimper. “You’re right. I need to be punished. I’m a louse. The lowest of lows. . .the scum of the earth.”

“You won’t find any relief from your pain talking like that.”

Dad gave no answer, just turned his face toward the back of the couch.

Jimmy grimaced.
What made me think I’d be able to make peace with this man who can’t even make peace with himself?
“I’m going to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I’ll be back as soon as it’s ready,” he muttered.

No answer, just a muffled snort.

Give me the wisdom and strength to deal with this, Lord
, Jimmy prayed as he left the room.
And show my dad what he needs to do to make things right
.

As Leona helped her mamm hang their freshly washed clothes on the line, Ginger ran about nipping at the laundry basket and trying to steal the clothes that had yet to be hung.

“Get away now, you little rascal,” she scolded, nudging the pup with the toe of her shoe.

One of the barn cats streaked past, and Ginger took off like a streak of lightning. Leona chuckled despite her dour mood, and her thoughts went immediately to Jimmy as they often did when she saw the puppy he had given her.

Ever since Leona had read Jimmy’s note saying he was leaving Pennsylvania, she had grieved her losses and struggled with bitterness because of the things she and her family had been through in the last year. She’d thought she was coping better, but after Jimmy left, it seemed as though her wounds had been reopened and would never heal. She knew she couldn’t continue to pine for a love she could never have, and she realized that she needed to get on with her life and try to strengthen her faith somehow. But that was easier said than done.

Leona also knew she had spoken out of turn when she’d questioned Abraham about what he’d said to Jimmy. When she’d seen him at the general store a few days ago, she had apologized for her sharp words. Abraham had accepted her apology but said he felt they were all better off now that Jimmy had returned to Washington.

Maybe Abraham’s right
, Leona thought as she reached for a pair of her daed’s trousers.
If Jimmy had stayed in Lancaster County and continued to work for Arthur, I would have suffered every time I saw him, knowing we couldn’t be together
.

The same day Leona had spoken with Abraham, she’d also visited with Mary Ann in Abby’s quilt shop. When she’d told her friend how she felt about Jimmy leaving and mentioned that her faith had weakened to a point where she could hardly pray anymore, Mary Ann had reminded her that it wasn’t good to let disruptions and disappointments control your emotions or keep you from worshipping God. Leona hadn’t argued. She knew Mary Ann was right.

One of the hardest parts about Jimmy being gone was that almost every day Leona’s daed asked for Jimmy, wondering why he didn’t
come around and worried that Jimmy might be mad at him. Mom had explained several times that Jimmy had gone home to Washington, but Papa still kept asking and sulking around like he’d lost his best friend.

Leona glanced over at her mamm, who’d been busy hanging sheets while she did the clothes. “I’m wondering what God has in mind for our family,” she said.

“ ‘And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose,’ ” Mom quoted from the book of Romans. It was the same verse Jimmy had mentioned in the letter he’d written Leona.

Leona clipped a shirt to the line. “That verse really confuses me, Mom. Everyone in our family loves God, and look how things have worked out for us. Papa still thinks he’s a little boy, you’ve been having trouble with your blood sugar lately, and I’m en alt maedel schoolteacher pining for a love I can never have.”

“You’re not an old maid, and you shouldn’t be pinin’ for someone who doesn’t share your faith,” Mom said with a shake of her head.

“Jimmy may not be Amish, but he does have a strong faith in God.”

“That may be, but since he’s English and you’re Amish, there can be no future for you together.”

“I know. There’s no future for me with any man.”

Mom clicked her tongue. “I wish you wouldn’t talk that way, Leona. Don’t you think it’s time you quit grieving for Ezra and get on with your life?”

Leona shook her head. “I’m just guarding my heart from getting hurt again.”

“There are no guarantees in this life,” her mamm said. “I think when the right man comes along you’ll realize it’s time to set your fears aside and trust God in all things.”

“I’m finished with the clothes now,” Leona said, feeling the need to change the subject. “So, I’d better head out to the barn and get my buggy horse. I want to get to the schoolhouse before any of the scholars show up.”

“You’re right. You wouldn’t want to be late, and I’m about done here myself.” Mom drew Leona into her arms and gave her a hug. “I love you, and I’ve been praying that God will give you many good things in the days ahead.”

Leona blinked to keep her tears from spilling over. “Danki. I want that for you, as well.”

“I–I’ve missed you, Jimmy.” A tide of emotions welled up in Jim’s chest as his son handed him a third cup of coffee.

“I’ve missed you, too, Dad.”

“Why don’t you have a seat and tell me why you’ve come home?”

Jimmy flopped into the rocking chair across from the couch with a groan. “I finally came to my senses.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m home where I belong. Going to Pennsylvania was a waste of time. I never should have left home in the first place, because I didn’t find my Amish family and probably never would have even if I’d stayed and kept on searching.” Jimmy looked around the room as though he was seeing it for the first time. “Guess I’ve been gone too long. Everything looks odd and almost surreal to me.”

Jim could relate to that feeling. He’d spent most of his waking hours the last few days feeling as if he were in a dream. And when he hadn’t been awake, he’d been in a drunken stupor. “I—I wish I could turn back the hands of time and put you back on the picnic table where I found you.”

Jimmy stared at the unlit fireplace. “I came to the conclusion that I didn’t belong there, and yet a part of me wanted to stay.”