The Boy I Love (Falling for You #2) (7 page)

***

Payton

I
walked into the house feeling like absolute crap. I was tired, sore and annoyed. It was a familiar sensation, and everyone in the house knew what was going on with me. Well, they knew it had to do with Keri. You could see it in their eyes.

Mom came up to me and pat my shoulder. “She’ll be home soon, and then you two can talk,” she said, and then kissed me on the cheek. I nodded, and dad walked into the room, looking like his usual pissed off self.

“Just break up with her,” he said, and then shook his head slowly. “She’s a college girl, you’re a rancher. It’ll never work out.”

I felt my jaw stiffen and I had to bite my tongue from saying something I’d regret. I looked down toward my boots and then back up at my mom. “I’ll go wash up.”

“It’ll all work out.”

“Quit feeding the boy lines. She’s over there, and he’s here. It’s time for him to get his head out of his ass.”

“Charles!”

“Well, it’s true. He spends all of his time moping. Do you think she’s doing the same, son?”

Anger burst through my chest and I looked at my dad. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You think she cares?”

“I think she does,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure. Her last email didn’t do anything for my ego. 

“Then why are you feeling this way?”

“Dad, just stop, okay?” I felt as if I was going to blow at any moment. I didn’t want to talk about Keri.

“God damn it, Payton. Listen to me.”

“Charles, stop it,” Mom cried. She looked like she was ready to pounce.

Dad shook his head once again.  “Sheila, if he doesn’t start pulling his weight around here, we’ll have to hire someone else.”

There it was.
I felt as if Dad punched me right in the gut. “You’d hire someone else?”

Mom looked as if Dad slapped her. She turned toward him and gave him a look of disgust. “What’s your problem, Charles?”

“Mom, it’s okay,” I said, gruffly. I’d never heard my parents argue before. Not even once. “If that’s what Dad wants, then…”

“It’s not what…”

I left the room then and walked toward my bedroom and pulled my suitcase from the closet.  I didn’t want to stay in the house for one more second.

***

Keri

I
wished I could time travel. I wished that I could know what I needed to know to make an informed decision about my life. What I did know was Payton and I were no longer a thing, really were never a thing, and I had a mad crush on Jessop. Only Jessop had a girlfriend, and unless I developed The Force, then I wouldn’t be able to stop Jessop from liking his girlfriend, and make him fall in love with me, the girl that’s absolutely perfect for him, if that’s how the whole
Star Wars
thing worked…

I was in Payton’s situation, and it sucked. I liked someone that didn’t really fully like me. I suppose it was poetry, really. What sucked was I’d have to see Jessop all of the time. Payton was lucky, he’d only have to put up with me on holiday breaks.

I took a bite of one of the crème sticks that Todd brought earlier and powered on my laptop, wondering if Payton answered my email.

He didn’t.

I felt guilty and relieved all at once. Deciding not to play with fate, I powered down my laptop and got into bed, hoping that I’d dream about Jessop.

Chapter Seven

*Christmas…*

I
t was officially the night before Christmas break and before my final semester exams. I was ready for my algebra final, but not ready for my Chemistry one. Alexis had already gone home with Todd, as Alexis’s parents were abroad in Europe somewhere. I was going to go home tomorrow, which worked out since I’d have a whole day before I had to pack all of my clothes and lock everything up. I was also lucky because I’d finally get the room all to myself.

I went into work two hours early and pulled several books from the shelves that I’d needed for my final cramming session.

“Hey there, bookworm,” Jessop said as he came around to where I sat. I looked up and saw the expression on his face. His voice sounded rough—gravely.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, genuinely worried. Jessop was never sad; it was one of those things that I adored about him. He was always in a great mood, and had the greatest laugh and was…

“Gloria broke up with me.”

My heart thudded hard in my chest, and I knew my eyes were wide. “Wh…why, what happened?”

It was a Christmas miracle.

“I caught her with Carl.”

“The moron that replaced her?” I asked, clearly dumbfounded. Why would anyone ever cheat on Jessop? He was perfection personified.

Jessop took the chair next to mine and slouched down into it. I turned toward him. He swallowed gruffly.

“Yeah. They were…in her bed. I came home early from my Trig final.”

I didn’t know what to say. I put my hand upon his and felt the familiar zing. I didn’t move it this time. I rubbed his hand slowly in a little swirl pattern and spoke softly. “I’m so sorry, Jessop. That’s horrible.”

Jessop was staring at our hands and he nodded. “Yeah.”

“What did she say?”

“She just…she told me that she was sorry, and that it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?” I asked, confused. “Seriously, she said that?”

Jessop nodded, and I could feel myself get angry.

“Well, she’s just a bitch, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you going to do? I remember you were supposed to go to her place for Christmas.”

Jessop put his head in his hands and groaned. “I didn’t even think about that.”

“Wait. When did this happen?”

“About twenty minutes ago.”

“Shit. Jessop, you can leave if you want. I can do this.”

Jessop was already shaking his head. “I don’t want to leave all of this work for you.”

“There isn’t much. Only two carts. I was just going to put things away and then study for my Chem. final.”

“I’ll help you.”

“You want to help me with chemistry?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’ll help distract me.”

“I don’t want you to have to do that. Seriously, Jessop, you can go if you want.”

“What do you want?” Jessop asked, and I felt a chill down my spine. I looked into his eyes.

“I…I want you to stay.”

Jessop’s jaw tightened. “Then I’ll stay.”

Two hours later, we
were still studying for my Chem. Final, and I couldn’t concentrate worth a damn. I asked him to stay, and he did, and he was single, and so was I. I was nervous, nearly sick to my stomach nervous, and he was quiet.

He was still the same nerdy, flirty Manbrarian, but there was something different about him now, and I wanted to find out what exactly that was.

I could hear every tick of the second hand on the clock above where we were studying, anticipating what would happen once we left the library. And then the announcement came overhead, and Mrs. Fletchman walked over and handed both Jessop and I an envelope.

“What’s this?” I asked, and stood up with my backpack and flung it over my right shoulder.

“That’s just a little something from me. Thanks for everything.”

I smiled, and put my arms around Mrs. Fletchman. She looked as if she’d cry. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. You two have a Merry Christmas,” she said, and both Jessop and I wished her one, too.

“I can’t believe she’s giving us a bonus,” Jessop said, as he tore open his envelope. She’d given us both one hundred dollars on top of our regular pay.  It was good, too, because I’d needed every cent I could get to help pay my mom back for the plane ticket she bought.

I walked toward the exit with Jessop and he turned toward me once we were outside. “Can I give you a ride?”

I nodded. “Yeah, that would be great.”

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Are you?”

“Yeah, kind of. I didn’t get any dinner.”

I nodded. Yeah, he probably ran out of Gloria’s so fast he didn’t even think of eating. “Yeah, me, either.”

“Want to come over to my place? I have some food there. Maybe I can make some spaghetti?”

My heart was racing like a freight train. “Yeah…that would be…”

“Don’t be nervous.”

“I’m not,” I said, even though I was. This was it, this was that college experience that I wanted.

“Good.” Jessop smiled and he took my hand in his. We walked to his car, and I couldn’t help but hear Payton’s words from the tree fort in my head, “I want all of my firsts with you”. I swallowed, and tried to block him from getting into my head.

***

Payton

I
hadn’t been home since Dad yelled at me a week ago. I’d stayed out in the tree fort, until I could find myself a full time job. The only thing I was able to get on such short notice was at Fred Martin Chevrolet where I’d worked in high school, and now part time on the weekends.

I wasn’t great at sales, but knew a lot about math and trucks. And, around here, those things were pretty important. I quickly learned how Fred balanced his accounts and he gladly gave over his books to me. I went over them in the mornings, and he taught me how to sell vehicles in the afternoon. So far, I sucked at the selling part, but I was able to answer any questions about the trucks that were thrown my way.

I was a Chevy man through and through.

Mom had called my cell a few times, and then once she realized I was living out in the tree fort, she brought me food. Thermoses of soups, and picnic baskets full of sandwiches. She also told me that she wasn’t speaking to Dad until I came back home. I told her that she may as well not hold her breath because I wasn’t moving back in. I was a man now, after all, and I didn’t want to hear about how Keri was wrong for me, and about how I was neglecting the family farm. There was nothing that I’d ever wanted to do other than run the farm and get married to Keri, and now it was no longer in my sight to run and Keri was as distant as ever.

And Christmas break started tomorrow. She’d be home, and I could finally apologize to her. I could see her, and hold her in my arms. 

Just as I was about to head home from the Car dealership, Patricia Walters walked in and gave me a smile.

  “Hey, Patti, how have you been?” I asked, and walked toward her with my hand out. She took my hand in hers and shook.

“I’m great; how’s everything going with you?”

“Pretty good. I’m working here full time now.”

“I never thought I’d see you away from ranching. This suits you though.” She smiled shyly and her face reddened slightly.

“I don’t know about that, but it’s a job.”

“How’s Keri?” Patti asked.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. “I don’t know. We broke up. She’s coming home tomorrow though.”

Patti’s eyes widened. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”

She didn’t look too sorry.

“It’s okay, I’m hopeful that the weekend will bring better things.”

“Speaking of this weekend, I’m having a Christmas party at my place. I’d love it if you’d come.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Maybe Keri and I can stop over.”

“I thought you just said you two broke up?”

“We did, but she’ll be home.”

Patti gave me a funny look and she smiled. “And you think you’ll be back together?”

  The look she gave and the way she sounded made me feel like a world class jackass. “Yeah.”

“Well, I hope you know what you’re doing. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m sure it’ll all work out,” I said, and then immediately felt better. It would work out; it had to.

Patti smiled and then turned toward the door. “No matter what, come to the party. Saturday at eight. I’ll save a seat for you.” Patti winked before opening the door and then disappeared.

I pulled out my cell
a few minutes later and texted Keri’s phone. I hadn’t tried to contact her since the last email she responded to about Star Wars.

*Keri, Patti Walters invited us to a party at her house on Saturday at 8. I hope you can come.*

I waited a few seconds and then heard a beep.

Sounds good
.

I grinned. Things were going to be okay.

***

Keri

W
e were walking up to Jessop’s apartment when my phone beeped and I saw Payton’s text. I quickly read the text and wrote a reply all before Jessop looked over at me with a question in his eyes.

“Just a friend,” I said, and then cringed inwardly. Payton was more than a friend, and it really wasn’t fair how I was classifying him to Jessop. “We were…”

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to tell me.”

I nodded and felt at my throat with my other hand. I felt warm, and weird. I didn’t know quite what I was doing.

“Well this is it,” Jessop said, stopping at his door. “You sure you want to come in?”

I nodded, and didn’t say anything. Jessop pulled me inside the apartment, and the next thing I knew, I was up against the wall and his lips were on mine. The kiss was instant and I felt warm, but not the same as I did when Payton and I kissed. It was weird, Payton kissed with everything he had, and although I was up against the wall in a precarious position, I couldn’t feel any more of the zing.

Alexis was right.

Balls.

I continued kissing Jessop, hoping that something would happen. That I would feel something, the burning that I felt when Payton and I kissed. Instead, I felt his erection, and then I felt gross. I tried to move out of his arms, but they tightened against me. I pulled back, and started to talk, but he ssh’d me.

For a moment, I didn’t think he was going to stop, and my mind was screaming.
Make him stop! Make him stop!

“Everything okay?” Jessop asked. He looked into my eyes and my heart slowed down a little.

Thank God.

“I’m… I’m so sorry. I can’t do this.”

Jessop closed his eyes and I bit my bottom lip. “I thought I could, but I… I just can’t.”

“Why?”

“You know that text?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, he wasn’t just a friend. He was my best friend and we…I think we may be it for each other.”

Jessop looked pissed for a second, and then he backed away and wiped his hand down his face. He blew out a deep breath. “Then what are you doing here?”

“I thought…I wanted to be here.”

“What happened to not make you want to be here? Did I do something?”

“No, that’s not it.  There’s just no… spark.”

Jessop looked at me as if I was a dumb little girl. “Seriously, that’s not what your body was telling me.”

“Before I felt a zing, but now… now I feel nothing.”

“Why because now I’m available and all of a sudden it’s not exciting?” Jessop asked, pissed off.

“Please don’t be mad. That’s not it. Payton and I, we’ve known each other for years. We… He loves me, and I just can’t do this.”

“It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me, Keri.”

“I know, but he is.”

Jessop sighed and shook his head. “You don’t feel anything?”

I pointed to my head. “You light up my brain, but Payton sets fire to my heart.” I looked at Jessop with tears in my eyes. “He’s the boy I love, and I have to tell him.”

Jessop nodded. “Well there’s no competing with that.”

I smiled softly. “I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.  I probably shouldn’t have done that anyway. Gloria and me, we just broke up.”

“Yeah,” I said, feeling a bit guilty. “Friends?”

Jessop laughed gruffly. “Sure.”

“Still want to do dinner, or do you want to take me home?”

“I’m still hungry if you are.”

I nodded, glad that we could at least do dinner and maybe put this awkward moment behind us. “Yeah. Do you mind if I freshen up first?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. The bathroom is down the hall on the right. Go ahead, and I’ll get the pasta started.”

“Thanks, Jessop.”

“No problem.”

I took my coat off, and set my cell phone down along with it on the table next to the doorway. I then made my way to the bathroom, unaware that Jessop would have picked up my cell and texted Payton back and ruined any chance that I’d have with him.