The Brethren (13 page)

“Maybe. Say it more slowly.”

154

as H as

She did. “Es gebt viele schwatze Kieh, awwer she gewwe all weissi Millich!”

He concentrated. An alarm went off in him. “I don’t

understand all of it, but some.”

“Quick, tell me which part.”

“Something about black cows and white milk.7”

“Jah, that’s right.” She was laughing softly. “Yet another proof, Ben. Little by little …”

He wasn’t as sure. It still seemed so impossible.

He spied an old climbing tree with a bent hook-shaped branch in the side yard not far from the white picket fence. At that moment, a genuine knowing clicked in him, like a falling into place. He knew without a doubt it had been the perfect spot to sit and play “riding horsey,” remembering unmistakably a blustery springtime day when he’d climbed too high onto the unique bough, hoping to hide there so he wouldn’t have to go to market with Mamma.

When his mother had demanded he come down right this minute, he’d lied and said he had a fever. So she’d scooted him into the house and stuck a thermometer in his

mouth to see for sure. Ornery as he was, he bit down hard on it, breaking the thermometer and swallowing some of the mercury. Running to the kitchen sink, he gagged and spit while his poor mamma fretted something fierce, calling for Dat to come. He remembered the strange thickness in his mouth as it all came back to him the fact that he’d will

fully

tried to make himself sick that day.

“Ben, are you all right.7” asked Annie.

Maybe I am Isaac. …

He told her what had just burst across the years to him.

155 “I remember that ancient climbing tree old even back when I was a boy.”

Her big blue eyes lit up. “Oh, this is ever so exciting.”

He had the urge to scoop her into his arms but gave her a brief hug instead. “Well, let’s see what your father says about this tomorrow.”

She nodded in agreement, her face turning crimson from his touch.

They walked hand in hand across the side yard to his waiting car, but before opening the door for Annie, he paused to look again at the lofty tree, the silvery underside of its leaves gleaming suddenly in the breeze. Something told him he’d stood here many times before, or near here possibly staring out his bedroom window at this tree, longing for the morning so he could climb it again.

“Unbelievable,” he whispered. He could not take his eyes off the massive tree, surprisingly aware at this moment who the stranger in his dreams had been all along. father knew all about trees. He loved nature and revered the Creator of all things.

Annie touched his sleeve. “Ben?”

He looked at her and leaned down to kiss her cheek. He

opened the car door for her and waited till she was inside to close it firmly. Going to his side of the car, he glanced up at the tree once more. “Dat … it was you,” he whispered. “Where are you now?” ;

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Defore dawn, Annie stood by one of the kitchen windows at Essie’s, waiting for Ben to arrive. She felt the need to pray, to thank the Good Lord for bringing Isaac home. “I never really believed it possible, but you surely knew … all along.”

When Ben’s car pulled up, the thought crossed her mind that it might not be such a good idea to introduce him as Isaac to her father. For a moment, she contemplated Essie’s desire to pray about everything. Should I be asking the Lord God for His help today, as well?

Opening and closing the back door quietly so as not to awaken Essie and the children, Annie rushed out to Ben, who met her on the passenger side to open her door. “Good morning, Annie. Did you sleep well?”

“It was a short night, I daresay.”

He chuckled and hurried around the front of the car. She was glad for the waning moon. She had not forgotten how handsome Ben was, but seeing him now, hurrying around the car with such eagerness, made her heart flutter.

“Are you sure about going to see your father first thing

157 like this?” he asked, buckling his seat belt.

She nodded, determined to press forward, though as the big farmhouse came into view, she wondered how to go about convincing Daed. She had a terrified twinge in her stomach, but there was no putting off something this important.

“I think it might be best if you stay put for now.” She hated sounding bossy, but she needed to break the news to Daed slowly and carefully.

“Take your time, Annie. I’m not going anywhere.”

The way he said it delighted her, and she got out of the car and headed straight to the barn, asking the Lord God for wisdom.

Zeke sat on the veranda at Philhaven, watching the moon fade in the coming sunrise. He still felt stunned. I’ll be caught with mud on my face with this new baby coming! One thing after another … all problems of my own making, he thought.

Yet he knew, if given the chance, he would not have done things any differently back after Esther’s shun was announced. A man had certain needs the Lord God ordained marriage for plenty good reason, for sure and for certain. There was nothing the brethren could say otherwise, and even though he was annoyed no end at Esther’s baby news, he couldn’t help hoping for another son. Laura and Essie Ann were fine where daughters were concerned, but for his plans to expand his hog operation someday he needed muscle and stamina in short, another young man in the house. Zach would be a

158 strapping fellow when he grew up, but little John was about as good as a girl, what with his asthma.

Zeke looked sadly at the chair where Esther had sat and kept him company a couple days ago, enjoying their first visit since his being admitted here. At least until he’d spoiled it by losing his temper. Such a good, pretty woman he’d married. He felt a lump come up in his throat. “We’ve got ourselves another little one on the way,” he mumbled. “Where will that get me … with everything else I’ve done

wrong

He was certain Preacher Jesse would take this up with the bishop right quick, if Annie spilled the beans. Truth was, his time was awful short, and there was nothing to do about it but wait. If he jumped ahead and told on himself, he’d bring on the Bann faster than lightning. “Looks like it can strike twice in the selfsame place,” he whispered, pulling hard on his beard, not minding the prickly pain he was causing his face. “It’s my own dumb fault.”

He moseyed indoors to wash up for breakfast. He would have to walk over to the dining room with the other folk residing here. He missed his own table, sitting at the head at every meal, hearing the smack of his children’s lips as they ate, the burps that came, especially from the boys, showing their mamma how wonderfulgood her cooking was.

If I’m to be under the shun, I’ll be joining Esther at her separate table soon. At least in public. For a moment, the thought brought him a measure of satisfaction. For with or without Esther, he was to be alone at least that’s what was expected of him … if he were ever to be released from this place and allowed to return to his own home.

At the sink, he let the water flow through his hands, then splashed it on his face, getting his beard a bit wet as he recalled that awful long-ago night again.

Little brother has borne too much grief for one so young, he had concluded as he finished the task of burial. A muffled sob and running footsteps caught his attention suddenly, and quickly he straightened, catching his breath as he leaned on the shovel, looking about the grove. Isaac had disappeared! “I killed Isaac,” he muttered into the towel now as he dried his face.

Visions of that night continued to play out, confusing him. Even in his dreams the images appeared and disturbed him. One doctor had suggested Zeke felt too responsible for his brother the reason for his tremendous, black guilt. Another agreed with the first doctor but implied Zeke was not carrying the blame at all but suffered, possibly, from some form of post-traumatic stress disorder … speculating that there was much more to the disappearance than met the eye. “Perhaps you’ve buried the truth deep within yourself, for some unknown reason.7’ They had to dig out the reason, get to the bottom of things, so he could then heal and get home.

Some days he believed he was getting less fuzzy in his thinker; other days he just didn’t know. But right this minute, he knew he should have abided by the separation requirements put on Esther and himself by the brethren. He should’ve waited till she confessed whenever that time might be before visiting her down the hall at night.

Just as I should’ve obeyed my father the night I took Isaac out to bury the puppy.

Ill

160 While Ben waited in the car, Annie searched for her father and found him hauling milk. “Oh, there you are.”

Lifting the lid on the cooler, her father turned to her, his face solemn.

“I have some wonderfulgood news, Daed,” she said.

He did not crack a smile. “You must be comin’ home where you belong.”

“No, Daed. That’s not it at all.”

“Well, oughta be.”

She forced a smile. “I want you to meet someone.”

He eyed her suspiciously. “At this time of morning? Can’t you see I’m awful busy? Your not being’ here has made a hole in things.”

“It’s important that you come with me,” she urged, looking toward the driveway.

“What’s more important than doin’ needful chores?” His eyes were unsympathetic.

She bit her lip. He wasn’t making it easy for her. Considering everything that had happened between them, how could she possibly break this to him? Gently? Or come right out with it? “Ach, Daed, what would ya say if I told you Isaac Hochstetler is alive?”

His brow furrowed in disbelief. He sucked in some air, staring at the cement floor. Slowly, he lifted his head and met her gaze. “Well, now, I’d say you’re as crazy as Zeke, maybe.”

“But I’m not.”

“Say all you want, but if you think such a thing, then I have to pity you.”

161 “Ach, Daed. Isaac’s alive, and I can prove it.”

He waved his hand and put his hat back on. “I’ve got work to do.”

“No … wait. If you won’t come out to the car, I’ll bring him in, right here to you.”

He stopped dead in his tracks, his back to her. “What on earth are you talking ‘bout?”

“Isaac’s here … sittin’ outside in his car. Aren’t you the least bit curious?”

Her father turned to face her. “I don’t know what you’re pullin’, but I’m not interested in playing any tomfoolery or whatever this is.”

“But, Daed “

“Go ‘bout your business, Annie, And I’ll go back to mine.”

With a heavy heart, she knew she had been quite mistaken to think her father would listen. Maybe no one would. Maybe the People weren’t ready to receive Isaac back.

Perhaps Esther was a better choice. Jah, that’s where we’ll head next … and eventually out to see Zeke in due time.

She turned to head back to the driveway, where Ben sat with the car still running, which was rather curious. Had he sensed Daed would not grant him a meeting? Was he prepared for a quick getaway?

Slipping into the front seat again, she said softly, “I guess I wasn’t thinkin’ clearly. This wasn’t a good idea. Too much anger between my father and me.” Then she began to cry, trying her best to tell him what her father had said. “I’m awful sorry, Ben.” She brushed her tears away. “I thought things would go much better.”

162 He reached for her hand. “I read something in the Bible the day I was so disappointed about the news of ray adoption. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.” He paused. “The verse went something like this: all things work out for good to those who love God.”

She perked up her ears, because she’d heard Cousin Julia say the very same thing. “Jah, I like the sound of that. And since we both love the Lord God don’t we? well, I s’pose we can hope in the verse, too.”

Ben shifted the car into gear, and they drove in silence for a while. He seemed almost reflective as he stared straight ahead, as if suddenly sad. “I’ve been curious about the Amish tradition why you live the way you do, seemingly locked in time. I guess knowing what I do now, my curiosity makes sense.”

“Putting it simply, we do what our forefathers did.”

“It’s especially appealing in a world where things are constantly changing, you know?”

“Some things change, I s’pose,” Annie said. “I hear some Amish read and study the Bible. Esther talks of a group called Beachy Amish and others, including the New Order Amish out in Gap, who memorize the Scriptures, and their bishop is all right with that.”

Ben drove all over Paradise, past the Progressive Shoe Store, and then over east to the old mill. There, they got out and walked quite a ways before turning back and then stopping to watch a small waterfall across the road from the mill.

She thought for sure he was stalling, rinding more places he wanted to see such as the one-room schoolhouse, which

163 he thought he remembered Zeke attending before finally heading over to Esther’s. Annie couldn’t blame him, because the whole discovery was both peculiar and wonderful. She could hardly wait to share the news.

Finally, Ben asked her if she was ready to head back to Esther’s. She was careful not to let her relief show as she

nodded her assent.

“If Esther doesn’t believe us, what then?” he asked.

“I can’t imagine she won’t. Everything adds up to you being’ Isaac.”

To this, Ben chuckled, giving her a wink. “You’re a pretty confident woman, Annie Zook.”

Her heart pounded, and she knew she was smiling at him far too much. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not,” she joked right back.

He asked about Zeke. “Has Esther seen him lately?”

“Once, so far. The People take turns visiting him, she says. As far as I know, he’s doin’ all right. Essie prays for him without ceasing, just as the Scripture says to.”

Ben seemed to contemplate her remark, studying her now. “Prayer must be a powerful thing. I’ve wondered about communicating with God my whole life.”

“So have I.”

He turned the conversation back to Essie. “What does

your father say about your staying with her?”

It still hurt to think of her father, especially as resistant as he’d been today. “My parents tend to think I’m taking sides with Essie that I’ve abandoned them. There are big expectations on me, of course, which causes another rub. For

164 one thing, I should’ve joined church by now, you prob’ly know.”

He nodded, making the turn into Esther’s drive. “Sam Glick hasn’t joined yet, either, if I remember right.”

“And he won’t be,” she said. “Oops … I don’t think I was supposed to say that.”

“He’s leaving the Amish?”

“Maybe so.”

Ben asked about Sam and Louisa. “What’s happened with them, do you know?”

“Oh, I honestly think they care for each other, but they’re miles apart.” She didn’t feel like going into any of that, not with her former beau Isaac himself sitting right here next to her, for goodness’ sake! “Come on,” she said as he stopped the car, “let’s reintroduce you to your sister-inlaw and to all your nieces and nephews. You’ll love seem’ Essie Ann again she’s so cute and growing ever so fast.”

Ben got out and went around to open her door. His manner seemed uncertain again.

“What’s the matter, Ben?”

He shrugged. “Maybe we should take this slower. Maybe no one is ready to accept this. I’m barely used to the idea myself.”

Disappointment and anxiety flowed through her. “No, Ben… . Daed’s upset with me, but Essie’s goin’ to fall right over with this news.” Then she remembered what Essie had told her about being in the family way again. “Come to think of it, I best be breakin’ it to her slowly. I should do most all the talking, prob’ly.”

Ben nodded, his eyes tender. “Are you sure?”

165 Annie took his arm, and they walked around the house together. “Remember that verse you told me all things are working for good, jah?” More than anything, she hoped they could trust that Scripture.

166 - ?

i-zouisa stood in the aisle at the art store, searching for the thinnest possible brush to create the fine details on her newest painting. She was working on an oil rendering of the Zooks’ hay wagon one of more than a dozen photos she had taken around the Zooks’ farm. To bring the painting to life, she planned to include a litter of black kittens with the mother cat lying near, eyes closed while her young slept beside her.

She thought of her own beautiful Russian Blue cat, with his high cheekbones and angular face, deciding she wanted to paint Muffin and send the finished art to Annie as a belated birthday gift. I need to get right on it, she thought, eager to finish her current painting and contact a local gallery in Littleton, hoping for a sale. Her goal was to live within her means, refusing any help from her wealthy parents. The fact that she had done exactly that thus far made her quite proud.

Not in a wrongful way, as Annie might say.

There were times when she wished she could expedite a project, like the one that had come together so easily for her

167 years ago: the ocean painting she had done at GreatAunt Margaret’s near the beach, where the sweeping seascape had readily captured her attention. The setting had soothed her then and it comforted her now as she recalled its serene majesty. Is it weird to miss a painting? She often did just that, regretting it had ended up in London with Trey, who’d purchased it from her when they’d first met. Never to be seen again by me.

Spotting the perfect brush, she chose two exactly alike and made her way to the cashier’s counter. On the way, she was distracted by the aisle where acid-free papers of every imaginable color were on display. One particular hue, a unique shade of green she’d come to know as “Amish green,” caught her attention. Picking up the sheet, she held it next to her arm, pretending for a moment it was a sleeve, recalling the months of wearing such colors deep blue, green, wine, and purple.

She thought back to a particular Monday. Wash day. She had been standing outdoors at the Zooks’, helping Annie and her mother hang out dozens of articles of clothing, all lined up according to type and size. She remembered the first time she’d attempted to help, quickly learning the way things were expected to be done. Louisa noticed Annie was careful never to offend her by talking nonstop in Dutch with her mother, the way other women did at quilting bees or cannings. Yet another endearing thing about Annie: she was always conscious of Louisa’s feelings, even to the point of not saying a word when Louisa happened to hang up one of the Zook boys’ broadfall trousers inside out. Much later in the afternoon, when they were taking down the clothes,

168

Louisa noticed the mistake, but Annie merely shrugged it off as nothing.

There were other appealing things about her pen pal and good friend that Louisa missed. It wasn’t that she didn’t care for her modern friends she did and very much. Yet she knew that neither Courtney nor her other friends here could hold a candle to all of Annie’s lovely characteristics, many of which were fostered by the Plain community she lived in.

Still, Louisa knew life in Paradise was not perfect. If she’d learned anything from her visit there, it was that even the “simple” life could be complex. No matter where one lived, life was stressful. Even for those who chose a less hectic pace, it was impossible to escape the pitfalls of human emotion and the unavoidable problems that resulted. The Amish seemed to take this in stride and made the best of tough situations with help from their families, their community, and their God.

But I’m here now, teaching the students I missed, wearing my favorite clothes, and seeing my old fiance. Thinking the latter, she felt herself shrug inwardly.

Carefully, almost reverently, she placed the “Amish green” paper back on its matching stack and continued to the front of the store to pay for her new brushes.

Long after her last students of the morning had left the studio, Louisa sat on the stool in front of her easel and added touches of texture and detail to her hay wagon painting.

She wanted the painting to not only depict the setting accurately but to draw the observer into the scene itself. She

169 struggled to emulate something of the Dutch master Rembrandt, who’d had the ability to create a sense of natural movement and a bold contrast between light and dark.