The Bride Collector (17 page)

When Roudy didn’t respond to Andrea’s weeping, the girl sank to the floor, curled up in a ball, and continued crying softly.

“The FBI are bringing me a body, Roudy,” Paradise said. “They want my help. Maybe you could help, too.”

At any other time, Sherlock would be consumed by his own delusions of grandeur, pacing, jabbing the air, insisting that he
join her. That without his help all would be lost. That not to include him would be criminal, prosecutable.

Andrea would be snapping at him, telling him to mind his own business. That this was Paradise’s time for a little attention,
although they all knew that Mr. Raines only had one thing on his mind. Still, it was something.

Instead they were both ravaged by the monsters inside them.

Paradise’s empathy for Roudy washed away her own need for attention. Dark depression was a beast that visited many here, a
debilitating illness that could be managed by drugs at times, but never at the expense of human touch and love.

The FBI could wait.

Paradise walked up to Roudy, settled to her knees, and gently rubbed his back. The only time she could hold a man was when
he was broken and in need of comfort.

“It’s okay, Roudy. It’s going to be okay. This will pass.”

In response he just moaned.

“You have to get better quickly, Sherlock. They’re going to need you. They’re at their wits’ end and they’re going to need
the best.”

He began to relax, then slowly he turned his wide eyes to look at her. She believed his mind was working, screaming for him
to acknowledge her wisdom, but his emotions had shut him down for now.

She kissed him on the forehead and gently placed both arms around his shoulders. “This is the price we pay for being so good
at what we do, right? But it’s okay, because you help so many people, Roudy. I’m very proud of you. We all are.”

He went limp, and she let him lean into her. Andrea was looking up from the floor like a puppy who wanted some attention as
well. Paradise stroked her hair. “We’re so proud of both of you.”

They remained on the floor for several long minutes, letting the pain work its course, and for a while Paradise forgot that
she had been on her way to the front office. Her ability to bring comfort to a few here at CWI had become the greater part
of her identity. The attention from the FBI, however flattering, was only a recent and likely passing distraction in her world.

But they were waiting. Brad was waiting.

“I have to go, but I’ll be back,” she finally said. “This will pass, Roudy. And when it does, we’re going to need you.”

Andrea pushed herself to her knees, then stood and walked out of the room like a zombie. Headed to her own room for a shower,
undoubtedly.

“I’m the best,” Roudy mumbled.

Paradise returned her attention to the man who was staring at the wall. “Yes, you are. You always have been.”

He looked at her, lips quivering. “Tell them I’m sorry. I’m not so good right now. I’m very sorry, maybe later.”

“I will.”

She stood, patted him twice on his shoulder, and left. She closed his door behind her, slipped down the hall, and hurried
through the hub. Francie Horner stood in the middle of the floor with her hair teased up into an Afro, staring. Flower sat
next to the wall tracing something on the window, watching Paradise along with half a dozen other residents. Was her reputation
getting out?

For a moment she was tempted to run back to the room and stay with Roudy where she belonged. What did she think she was going
to do, anyway? Touch the dead and give them the name of the killer? She was almost certain she couldn’t help them. Truth be
told, she’d gone along with all of this because of him.

Because of Brad Raines. The first man in her memory who had shown the remotest interest in her beyond the kind Casanova routinely
offered.

But they were waiting for her. She’d put herself in a predicament, and now she had to finish what she had started.

She walked down the path and entered the front reception area. The nurse, Jonathan, was waiting for her. “Hey, Paradise. They
went to the kitchen.”

“Behind the hub?”

“Something about refrigeration. Allison said she’d meet you there.”

“They have the body in the kitchen?” She was dumbfounded. It would mean going back through the hub! Jonathan must have seen
the look of concern on her face.

“Come on, I’ll take you around through the delivery entrance.”

“It goes by the fence,” she said.

“It’s either around the wing or through the hub. Your call.”

“Fine, around the wing.” But she never liked being so close to the fence, the only thing between her and the outside world.

Jonathan led her back across the lawn, around the building, and unlocked the entrance used for deliveries. “You know where
you’re going from here?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, see you around.”

“Yeah. See you.”

At the moment she felt like anything but a ghost reader. She’d make a complete fool of herself.

Paradise walked down a hall littered with boxes of olive oil and soups, a few crates of onions and potatoes. She stepped through
the kitchen’s back door and studied the scene before her.

The kitchen had a large center island covered in stainless steel, which was used for food preparation. Utensils and pans hung
from a rack overhead. The stoves lined the far right wall; a large walk-in fridge opened on the left. There was no sign of
a body anywhere, so Paradise assumed they put it in the refrigerator to keep it cool.

Brad Raines was talking quietly to Allison, both of them with their backs toward her. Something about the funding behind the
center and cost of operations. He stood a full head taller than Allison, blond hair neatly trimmed around his ears, above
his collar in the back. He wore a white shirt with sleeves rolled up. Black slacks and shoes. A belt. Very neat, very ordered.

Paradise stood still, aware that they hadn’t expected her to come through the back. She could turn and sneak out, avoiding
the embarrassment of talking to him again after running away. Did he think she was crazy? Surely, he did. She’d lectured him
and then fled at his mere mention of leaving her safe haven.

Maybe she really was crazy. But she wasn’t, she knew that. She was, however, intimidated by the man who stood across the room.
He completely outclassed her. He, the specimen of perfection, standing head and shoulders above her.

He had watched her with sincere interest. And honestly, that was the real irony, wasn’t it? He had no business looking at
her with any kind of interest, because she neither deserved nor wanted it. She was dirt in his world.

Paradise had no adult experience in that world, and looking at Brad now, it occurred to her that the only way to cope with
him was to bring him down to her level, even if just a little. Not by being mean to him, but by pretending to be his equal,
maybe even his superior in some respects.

Wasn’t that what she’d done during most of their first meeting? She’d protected herself by coming off distant and in command
of the situation. She had to do that again or risk falling apart in front of him.

She couldn’t let him know how much she liked him.

Paradise gasped and jerked back into the hall. How could she think such a thing? It wasn’t true, of course, not in the faintest.
She liked him, but not in that way.

Allison called out. “Paradise?”

The thought that she might actually be attracted to this man terrified her. It made her feel like a worm, knowing that he
couldn’t ever, under any circumstances, bring himself to return any affection for a piece of waste like her.

“Are you there?”

She had to control herself!

Paradise took a deep, calming breath, absently smoothed her hair, and stepped out. They were both looking in her direction.
She thought she should say something that demonstrated anything but the fear she felt, but instead she stopped and stared
at them.

Mr. Raines (she couldn’t call him Brad any longer) smiled. “Hello, Paradise.”

“Hello.”

“Thank you for coming.”

The way he was looking at her… She knew it was just normal and friendly. After all, he needed her help, so he was being nice.
But it was so easy to misinterpret his look as something more. As interest. She had to gain control!

“Well, I doubt I can be of any help,” she said walking forward, hoping that he didn’t see the slight shake in her hands. “But
so that you can get this off your mind and move on, I’ll do my trick for you.”

“Trick?”

“Trick, show, whatever. I’ll be your monkey in this little zoo you’ve set up so you can get down to real work.”

“Paradise…,” Allison warned her.

“Sorry, but it’s true, isn’t it?”

Mr. Raines looked tongue-tied, and that gave Paradise a moment’s encouragement. She might be nothing in his world, but here
she could still be somebody. And was. Roudy and Andrea might even be proud of her.

“So where’s the body?”

The walk-in refrigeration unit was around the wall to the right, and Mr. Raines called to someone. “Steve?”

A few moments later, a paramedic wearing a stethoscope wheeled a gurney around the corner. The body was covered in a white
sheet, but the woman’s form was unmistakable.

Paradise stared at the body and let her mind go where it wanted to go, into the hidden folds of story behind what her eyes
saw.

I see the woman rising from the sheet, swinging off the gurney, stepping backward toward the door. The sheet becomes a dress
on her fair frame. Back through the door, then fast through the city to her own house and inside, where a man is waiting for
her. She is kissing the man, turning in circles like they are lovers dancing. But then he comes around again, and I see that
he isn’t a man at all. The woman is kissing a gorilla who suddenly bares its fangs and…

“Paradise?”

She looked at Allison. “What?”

They just looked at her. She had to get back on track. She felt panic crowding her mind, but managed to push it back.

“There’s too many people here.”

The paramedic glanced at Mr. Raines, who nodded. “I’ll just step outside,” the medic said, then left the three of them with
the body.

“Is that better?” Allison asked.

Mr. Raines—Brad to those closer to him, to his friends, his peers, and his lovers—was watching her. She had to stay strong.

“Yes, that’s better,” she said, moving forward. “So what exactly do you want me to do, Mr. Raines? Fondle a dead body in front
of you?”

“Paradise!”

“You’re right, that wasn’t called for,” she said, horrified at her choice of words. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

“No need to apologize,” Mr. Raines said. “Trust me, I’m grateful that you’ve agreed to try to help us out. I realize that
this is unprecedented. I feel a bit awkward myself.”

“Why, because you’re not used to working with monkeys?”

“Well, no, that’s not what I was thinking.”

“But it’s at least partly true. You could never feel comfortable in the company of people like us. We’re all just too weird
for you.”

Allison tried to steer her right again. “Please, Paradise, this isn’t time for—”

“For transparency?” she interrupted. “No, not in front of real people.”

Even as she spoke, Paradise heard the unkindness of her own words and wanted to take them back. They even seemed to jolt Allison.
For a long time she stared at Paradise while Brad shifted his eyes between them.

“You’re right,” Allison said. Then, turning to Mr. Raines, “She’s right. This whole thing is absurd. You’re using her for
your own selfish purposes without rightly respecting her own needs. I think this is all a mistake. Maybe you should just leave.”

What? No! Not yet.

“I’m sorry.” Brad—Mr. Raines—looked dumbfounded. The poor man must be thinking he’d entered the twilight zone. “I thought
we had an understanding. We went to considerable trouble bringing the body here.”

“But you see, that’s the problem,” Allison said. “To you this is all considerable trouble. Where does that leave Paradise?
I think we need to consider her needs in this exchange, don’t you?”

“Yes. Of course, but I wasn’t aware that we’d failed to do that.”

It occurred to her that they were both treating her like a child. She wasn’t a child. “I don’t have any needs you can take
care of, Mr. Raines. And the last thing I need is for you to play matchmaker, Allison.” Too much information. She couldn’t
seem to stop putting her foot in her mouth! “I don’t have the slightest interest in that aspect of this encounter. But you’ve
come all this way, so let’s finish.”

Before I ask you to hold me, Brad, because the truth is I would dream about a man like you every waking moment if I allowed
myself to. I would lay myself on a sacrificial altar to float through space with you. But I can’t so I won’t, not ever.

Nonsense! It just wasn’t true!

She stepped around the stainless-steel island and approached the gurney.

“I’m sorry, Paradise. Really, we don’t have to do this if you feel uncomfortable.” Brad, yes Brad, because his name was Brad,
stepped to the other side of the body. Allison seemed content to remain where she stood.

“It’s fine, Mr. Raines. I just don’t know exactly what you expect me to do.”

“You said you saw these… ghosts… a couple of times before. Twice when you came in contact with deceased bodies.”

“Yes. But I have to tell you that most of the ‘ghosts’ I see are just figments of my imagination.” Blue butterflies flying
through the window behind you, sailing to space, singing wonderfully. “I can’t explain what I saw or why I saw it.”

“What did you see?”

She hesitated, reaching back for the memory. “I saw the ghost of the paramedic leaning over one, telling her that everything
was going to be okay. I saw his ghost.”

“Or the dead person’s last memory of him,” he said gently, with true interest.

She nodded. “Or her memory of him.”

The exchange bolstered her all of a sudden. And Brad Raines was a beautiful man. She couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t. It was
no wonder that Andrea was so suspicious of him. His face was smooth, like a boy’s, even though his jaw was strong and he was
maybe thirty. His brown eyes looked like dark amber crystals, his lips were smooth, and his hair looked soft. She would like
to touch it in her dreams of him.