Read The Bride Experiment Online
Authors: Mimi Jefferson
The Bride Experiment (8 page)
Chapter 10
“Daddy sleep.... Daddy sleep,” Alexis whispered as she kissed James on the face repeatedly. She shook him gently. “Get up, Daddy. Let's play.” The moment James felt the first kiss, he smiled. But when the fourth kiss came, he almost pushed Alexis away.
Waking up this way reminded him of weekend mornings. He looked forward to meeting the day with a flutter of tiny three-year-old kisses. Alexis would cuddle up to him, along with her two favorite stuffed animals, Mr. Dinosaur and Major Piggy. They would sing songs before going downstairs to watch cartoons and eat big bowls of cereal in their personalized daddy/daughter bowls. Any other day, this would have been a wonderful way to wake up, but now he felt sick to his stomach, knowing Alexis belonged to another man.
Avoiding Raquel and the kids had been easy the first few weeks after finding out the children were not his. All he had to do was make up a lie about working overtime each night to get the last-minute spending money for the bigger-than-life honeymoon he had planned. But now that there was only one week to go, he knew that would get old.
Raquel had no idea he was really at his brother's house. Tonight, though, Miles was having a business meeting, which was why James went home to watch the game. He had planned to return to Miles's place well before he expected Raquel and the children to arrive home for the evening, but he had ended up falling asleep on the sofa.
James moved past Alexis and looked around the room for Raquel and Morris. He only spotted Raquel's handbag and keys on the table in the foyer. Assuming she was upstairs, he yelled for her. “I gotta go to the bathroom! Come get Lexi!” He heard Raquel's footsteps walking toward them.
“Alexis, bath time,” Raquel said.
James started briskly walking toward the downstairs bathroom. Alexis giggled as she ran behind him, thinking they were playing a game of chase.
“Come here, baby girl,” Raquel said, leading Alexis upstairs. James paced the bathroom floor, trying to come up with his next move. Like magic, he suddenly remembered something Raquel had said months ago. They needed to sleep apart the days leading up to their wedding. She thought it would make their honeymoon night more special. James thought it was a stupid idea, but he was now glad he had not argued with her.
He stepped into the master bathroom, where Raquel was bathing Alexis and singing “The Alphabet Song.”
“Hey, I'm about to pack my stuff and head over to Miles's place. He was cool with the idea of me staying with him this week.” He added, “Just like you said he would be.” James looked in the mirror to avoid looking in Raquel's eyes.
“Oh . . . I didn't think you thought that was such a great idea. You didn't say anything when I told you about it.”
“Yeah, I was thinking about it and decided whatever my bride wants, my bride gets.”
Raquel cut her eyes at James. “Well, if that's the case, where are we going for our honeymoon?”
“Except for that. I told you it was a surprise.”
James grabbed a brush and started stroking his hair. “All you need to know is what I already told you. You need to pack for somewhere tropical. Our flight leaves at ten the morning after the wedding. I'm going to have you up all night, so don't think you will be in any condition to wake up that morning and pack. You are going to need to sleep in! So whatever you do, don't forget to get everything ready before the wedding.”
Raquel smiled. “You know you shouldn't be talking like that in front of the baby.”
“Whatever. . . . That's how the baby got here.” James got a lump in his throat. He put the brush down and walked off, leaving Raquel with a smile that looked as if it was going to be permanently plastered on her face.
When James walked past Morris's room, he was busy playing a video game. The door was closed, but James could hear Morris pounding on the buttons of his PlayStation. Now that Morris was twelve, it was hard to get him out of his room. On any other evening, James would have been sitting on the bed with him. But at that moment, all James wanted to do was keep walking.
He paused when he reached Alexis's room. Unlike the other rooms in the house, he had painted and decorated this one himself. He decided on a sunny yellow because it fit her personality. She was always happy and smiling and ready to play. It took him four days to individually put up each of the flowers, butterflies, and honeybee stickers that adorned the walls in her room. For a final touch, he put a big picture on the wall of him holding Alexis when she was first born.
He hadn't bothered to make an appearance during the births of Morris and James Jr., which was why he insisted on being there for Alexis's birth. He didn't miss one prenatal appointment and even won the prize for the most supportive husband at their labor and delivery class. When they arrived at the hospital, Raquel demanded an epidural, but the doctor said it was too late because the contractions were too close together. Raquel immediately started to panic, but James was able to calm her down when the nurses and doctor could not. He did the breathing techniques right along with her, keeping her focused as she pushed.
After seeing Raquel give birth to his daughter, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Raquel never looked more beautiful than the moments after the delivery, nursing tiny Alexis, and then the two of them falling into a deep sleep. It was that day that James knew everything had changed, for real this time.
For the first time since finding out the children were not his, James felt tears in his eyes. He didn't want to run into Raquel again, so he pushed himself to walk to the bedroom he shared with her. In less than ten minutes, he had his rolling suitcase stuffed to capacity, headed downstairs and out the door. He had barely opened his truck door before he freely allowed the tears to flow down his face.
Chapter 11
Withdrawing most of the money from their joint account was the last thing James needed to do before heading out to meet Miles and the other groomsmen for the pre-wedding festivities. He noticed Raquel went against their agreement and spent more money on the wedding, but he wasn't about to let that ruin his evening.
Just because he wasn't actually getting married didn't mean he was going to miss out on his long-awaited two-day bachelor party. The wedding was scheduled for Saturday afternoon, and he and his friends planned to party up until then.
It was Thursday night, and James was driving to the barbershop to meet his friends. After getting haircuts, they would head straight to Jazzy Fast Nasty's for dinner and drinks. The waitresses at Jazzy Fast Nasty's wore next to nothing as they sauntered to and fro, serving up huge steaks and the freshest lobster in town.
On Friday, they were checking into the hotel and attending the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. After the rehearsal dinner, the official party would begin in the extra large two-bedroom hotel suite he was sharing with Miles.
James could feel his heart racing already. Miles had promised to get “Butter” and “Crème,” of the Passion Palace in Las Vegas, to perform at his bachelor party. The two exotic dancers traveled the world and were highly sought after because of their athletic and acrobatic show. James and Miles had seen them for the first time when they were visiting Vegas for Miles's birthday.
James merged onto Highway 59 with a big smile on his face. He couldn't wait to see how Butter and Crème made everything better. His thoughts were interrupted by his ringing cell phone. James glanced at the caller ID. He took a deep breath. It wasn't Raquel; it was Pamâsexy, fun, eager Pam. James met Pam years ago when he went to visit Raquel at work. He ended their eight-month affair years ago. However, when James decided he needed to have a little fun before he officially got married, he reconnected with Pam.
“What's up, sexy?” James smiled as he spoke into his cell phone.
“All I need is one more night.”
“Now, you know I told you we had to stop messing around, since I'm getting married.”
“I know . . . I know, but you are getting married, not me. I need my James fix.”
“You coming to the wedding?” James asked.
“Of course. Your crazy soon-to-be wife has all the girls in the shop working. But at least I don't have to do hair. I'll be doing the makeup for the mothers and grandmothers.” Pam sighed. “I'm still mad I'm going to miss a whole Saturday's pay at the freaking wedding. Raquel acts like she does not know that's our biggest appointment day, and besides, you should be marrying me, not her.”
“You are sexy as all outdoors.”
Pam giggled. “So how are you going to make it up to me? Why don't you come by tonight? Please! Come on, James, all I need is one more night.”
“Just one more night?” James teased.
Pam whispered, “Just one more night, Big James.”
“I'll see what I can do. But if I can, it will be late . . . real late.”
“I'll be up,” Pam purred.
“All right, hottie, I'll talk to you later.”
As soon as James disconnected the call, the phone rang again. He picked it up quickly. “What's up, Sharonda ?”
He should have known she was going to call. Sharonda was only nineteen when they met at a football game. James ended up taking her virginity a month later. Miles told him not to do it, for fear that Sharonda would be exceptionally clingy. Miles was right. Sharonda was clingy, and crazy too. James broke up with her over two and a half years ago, but Sharonda still found a reason to call him, almost weekly.
“Hey, baby, what are you doing?”
“I'm on my way to get a haircut. What about you?”
“I need to tell you something.”
“Go ahead, Sharonda.”
“I'm in love with you, James. If I can't have you, there is no reason to live. If you go on with this wedding, I'm going to kill myself.”
James hung up the phone without saying a word. Sharonda practically threatened to kill herself every other day. He wasn't about to let that ditzy broad ruin his day. James suddenly got a vision of what Joan would look like in the bikini he purchased for her yesterday. She was going to look scrumptious next to him in the villa he had rented for his honeymoon. Nobody could wear a swimsuit quite like her. They would spend their time making love on the beach underneath the stars, in between eating magnificent gourmet meals.
After they came back, he would move in with Joan and James Jr. for a month or so. It would take at least that long for Raquel to move her things and find another place for her and the kids to live.
He had thought about continuing to stay with Miles. However, after being in Joan's place with her delicious food and sexy vibe, the last thing he wanted was to be trapped in that oversized dorm room Miles called an apartment.
James scrolled until he found Joan's number on his cell phone. Before it went through, he stopped the call. He needed to wait until everything was over. Joan wouldn't be able to resist his invitation to Jamaica after discovering the lengths he had gone through to break up with Raquel for good.
He pulled up to the parking lot of the barbershop he had been going to for the last fifteen years. All of his groomsmen were waiting next to a black Hummer limo. James stepped out of his truck and approached them. “My, it looks like you have spared no expense. We're going to be traveling in style.”
“Oh, big brother, you have no idea.” Miles opened the door. The limo was laid out with champagne, shrimp, and Butter, along with her sidekick, Crème, wearing nothing but their stilettos. James peeked inside and almost jumped for joy. Miles grinned deviously. “This is only the beginning. What I have waiting for you at the hotel tonight will have you screaming for more.”
Chapter 12
Joan looked over the financial statements while she lay in bed, drinking peppermint tea. Looking at the excellent numbers should have brought her relief, instead all she felt was numbness. Here she had successfully opened her dream business, but she couldn't celebrate. She had made all the right decisions: spending the money up front to get a top restaurant consulting firm to come in and help her with everything from acquiring the property to hiring the perfect management team.
She had hired a well-known publicist to help get the word out about the bakery. It had worked. The bakery received rave reviews from the local newspaper's food critics. Soon after, a popular Christian radio host decided to broadcast her talk show on Wednesdays at the bakery. That brought people from all over the city. The radio host went on and on about the friendly Christian environment, beautiful décor, and delicious desserts and coffee.
Joan tossed the financial statements on the floor and sank back into the softness of her down comforter. Despite being scared, she had left the corporate world behind to follow her passion, and now it was official. Happy Endings, her bakery, was a success. Ordinarily, Joan would have sent up an audible prayer to God at a time like this, but currently she wasn't speaking to Him.
She hadn't opened a Bible or said a prayer since she left Makita's office almost a week ago. She had stopped answering Tisha's phone calls too. Most mornings, she was at the bakery early, but for the last few days, she had left Karla, the bakery manager, in charge. Joan typically managed the back of the house, and Tisha and her enthusiastic personality worked the front. Joan didn't want to be around Tisha right now, though. Maybe later, but right now she wasn't ready for the questions. She could already hear them in her head:
“Why did Makita let me in the class and not you? Why have you been so quiet lately?”
“Why did Makita let me in the class and not you? Why have you been so quiet lately?”
Joan reached over to the nightstand to retrieve James Sr.'s wedding invitation from her handbag. It was gorgeous, embroidered in gold and black and printed on fine linen. When she found the invitation in her son's things, she had no interest in going to the wedding. But after she walked out of Makita's office, she knew she would go.
It was because of closure, she needed to see the man of her dreams become eternally wed to someone else. Maybe then she could let her heart heal. She could be free of her bondage, the domination that James still had over her. Nobody would understand, so it was no point in trying to explain. They had never loved as deeply as she had. As hard as anyone might try, they would never be able to identify with the pain.
On one hand, Joan knew that God loved her; but on the other, she felt as if He hated her. Here she was alone, with no man to call her own. It seemed as if everybody's life was moving forward except for hers. Yes, the bakery was going well, but a successful career wasn't enough. Joan wanted a man to share it with, and she craved a chance to have more children. After talking to Makita, she seemed to feel as if getting married was beyond her. A decent man wouldn't want her. She was too prideful, too arrogant,
just too everything.
just too everything.
Joan bowed her face into her hands. How in the world could she still be a mess? After living for the Lord this long, how could she still have pieces that needed to be put together? Would she ever be whole? If it wasn't one thing, it was another. If it wasn't feeling the urge to have sex, it was using her tongue for evil. If it wasn't her selfishness, it was her pride. If she wasn't constantly complaining, she found herself lying. Now Makita had brought it all home. She was a miserable excuse for a Christian.
Joan decided she needed some snacks for her pity party and headed in the direction of the refrigerator. She had leftover spinach enchiladas and beef queso and chips from the night before. She heated it up and headed back to bed. James Jr. was at the final wedding rehearsal, so she didn't have to worry about him asking her why she could eat in her room and he couldn't eat in his.
Joan loved her son, but he could really work a nerve, especially now that he was regularly attending Sunday School and learning about the Bible. A month ago, she was exhausted, so she told her son to lie to his dad and tell him that she was at work and couldn't drop him off. James Jr. refused. He looked Joan right in her face and said, “God is for truth. The devil is for lies. Whose side are you on?”
Joan took a chip and dipped it into the rich gooiness of the queso. Before she finished chewing, she was already stuffing her mouth with all the spinach enchilada she could get on the fork. Joan felt guilty, but as she labored to chew all the food she had stuffed in her mouth, she wondered what her life would be like if she had never had a child. When she found out she was pregnant with James Jr., she was thrilled. She thought she had James Sr. for sure. It never entered her mind that James Sr. would marry somebody else. She resented having to be both father and mother. James Sr. didn't have to discipline their son, help him with his homework every night, or take off work to be with him when he was sick. He just showed up on the weekends bearing gifts and football tickets, as if he was nothing more than a doting grandparent.
She didn't know how she was going to do it, but now was the time to let it go. She had to release the idea that somehow, someway, she and James would find each other. They were never going to be that family she had envisioned. James had another family, another life, and she would never be a part of it. Raquel was rightâshe had the man, the house in the suburbs, and the two beautiful kids.
What should a girl do the night before the man of her dreams gets married to another woman? Tisha was too holy for any earthly good. Janet was happily married and pregnant. Joan certainly didn't need to be reminded that Lila had been chosen by an HGM, aka “hot godly man,” of the highest magnitude. When was she going to get her hot godly man?
Joan finished off the queso and enchiladas and headed back to the kitchen for an extra big slice of chocolate cake. She heated some chocolate sauce in the microwave and added it to the cake, along with some vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and chopped pecans.
She climbed back into bed and turned on the television. She flipped channels until she found a talk show featuring three different women of different ages. Joan took large bites of her ice cream as she listened to their discussion.
“I knew God wasn't going to send me a husband until I didn't want one. Yes, He was telling me He needed me content, single,” the youngest one said.
“When I got married almost forty years ago,” the oldest one stated, “I didn't know the degree of selflessness that would be required. I know why we have a fifty percent divorce rate in the country. Selfish people are getting married. Marriage is not about what you can get out of it. It's about what you can put into it.”
“These young girls don't want to hear that,” the middle-aged woman chimed in. “They don't want to know the truth. They think it's about flowers and cake. They don't want to hear about sacrifice, forgiveness, and the selflessness it takes to maintain a marriage.”
“Hey, Tracy,” the youngest one said. “You and your husband counsel engaged couples. Have you ever told a couple they were not ready to get married?”
“Yes, we have. They are easy to spot. They have a hole in their souls and have decided that getting married will fix it. We tell them they need to deal with those issues, but they think walking down the aisle will fix everything. They usually leave our church and go somewhere else, where they will marry anyone with money to spend. Months later, they come back, hoping we can save them from a divorce that seems imminent.”
The middle-aged woman started to turn red and firmly said, “People just need to wait, bottom line. Allow God to prune and prepare. He will send that perfect person along in His perfect timing. I mean, would you really want to marry someone if it wasn't God's best?”
“I knew marriage was the most important decision I would ever make, and I wanted God all up in it. You feel me?” the youngest one asked. “I had seen too much destruction. I knew we needed Jesus from the beginning. And now that we have been married for only three years, and have gone through more drama than I could have imagined, I'm so glad I followed the Master's plan. Let's face itâthis world does not have a clue about how to be married. Oh, we know how to pick out a big diamond ring and a Vera Wang dress, but we don't have a clue about how to make a marriage thrive.”
The oldest one said, “And the funny thing is, it is right in the Bible, but nobody bothers to read it. God created marriage. He's the only one who knows how to work it.”
“We are too busy watching celebrities jump in and out of marriage,” said the middle-aged lady. “I heard a pregnant, single, twice-divorced celebrity say on a talk show the other day that she and her boyfriend were going to redefine marriage. I guess God didn't get it right the first time, so now he needs her help.”
All the women shook their heads. Joan turned off the TV and threw the remote control across the room. “I quit! I quit! I quit!” Joan couldn't believe she was actually yelling out loud. “I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be single, celibate, and lonely. I don't want to go to Bible Study anymore. I don't want to go to church. I don't want to have one more conversation with any more church people. They are full of it.
“Am I the only one struggling? Am I the only one who gets up in the morning and doesn't feel like shouting, âHallelujah, praise the Lord'? I don't want to have to worry about
if
or
when
I will ever have sex again. I'm tired of seeing all the older married couples hand in hand at church, reminding me of what I may never have. I'm tired of seeing all the swollen bellies of the pregnant married couples reminding me of what I may never have again. When is it going to be my turn?”
if
or
when
I will ever have sex again. I'm tired of seeing all the older married couples hand in hand at church, reminding me of what I may never have. I'm tired of seeing all the swollen bellies of the pregnant married couples reminding me of what I may never have again. When is it going to be my turn?”
Joan turned to look at herself in the mirror across from her bed. “I should have just done it. I should have just had some fun with James last week.”
Joan looked at her cell phone on the nightstand. James Sr. wasn't married yet. Maybe she should give him a call. Yes, just maybe she would. . . .
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