The Bright Side (41 page)

“And … you took her … to a toilet?
”

He groaned and tutted. “I took her to a pub. Which has a toilet. Which I’m in.
”

This was as short-tempered as I’d ever heard him. He was clearly feeling stressed. “Sorry,” I said. “I wasn’t trying to be funny. What’s up?
”

“Right – I think I’ve made a mistake. With the venue.” “Why? Where are you?
”

“Bright Red.
”

I’d never been there myself but I’d heard the twins talking about it on several occasions
.

“Really? Bright Red? Isn’t that a bit …” The first words that sprang to mind were “cool” and “trendy”. I discarded both on the grounds that Eddie might find them insulting. Still, it wasn’t easy to think of an alternative. “Youthful?” I said eventually
.

“Yes. It is. Half the men in here – half the
boys
in here aren’t even shaving yet. And the girls! Jackie. You’d want to see the get-ups they have on them. I don’t know where to look. It’s like a stripping club or something.
”

“I don’t see the problem, Eddie. Why don’t you just leave?” “I think Margaret likes it.
”

“Well,
stay
then,” I sighed. Even though I’d been glad of the interruption, I wasn’t really in the mood for Eddie’s … Eddieness
.

“But I’m not
sure
she likes it. She’s been making wee cracks about how young and weird everybody else is compared to us. Is she really joking or is she dropping hints, do you think?
”

“Jesus, Eddie, how am I supposed to judge that from here? If I –” At that point, a nearby toilet flushed. I waited for the gurgles to fade. “If I were you,” I went on when relative silence was restored, “I’d throw caution to the wind. Get radical. I mean, really go out on a limb.
”

“I’m listening.
”

“
Ask
her
, for God’s sake.”

There
was
a
pause.
“I
suppose
I
could
do
that.
But
what if
she
takes
that
to
mean
that
I
want
to
go
and
even
though she’s
perfectly
happy
where
she
is,
she
thinks
she
should
–”
“Eddie!
You’re
over-thinking
it
–
by
a
long
way.
I’m
telling
you.
Just
ask
her
if
she
wants
to
stay
…
or
leave.
You’d
be
amazed
at
what
you
can
achieve
using
simple
human
language.
”

He ignored the sarcasm. “I don’t know what the hell made me suggest here in the first place. It just popped into my head. I should have –
”

“Stop right there. Eddie – just get up off the toilet and go back to your date. Ask her if she’s comfortable where she is or would she like to try somewhere else. If she says she wants to move, agree with a smile and go somewhere else. If she says she’s grand where she is, then put the idea behind you and get on with enjoying yourself.
”

“Hmmm.
”

“Okay? Got it? Are we done?
”

“But supposing she does want to go on somewhere else? Where do we go?
”

I ground my teeth together and raised my eyes to heaven, determined that I would neither lose my temper nor supply an answer
.

“Oh,” Eddie said then. “I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say I should just ask her where she’d like to go.
”

“
Plink!
”

“Sorry? What was that?
”

“That was the sound of a penny dropping. Goodnight, Eddie. And good luck.
”

“Okay, okay. Goodnight. And thanks.
”

We hung up and I went back into the front room
.

Colm had gone, at last, to put Niall to bed. I told Melissa that the caller was a work colleague enquiring after my health. Really, I had no good reason to skirt the truth
.

It was becoming a habit, I guessed
.

I
went
up
to
my
room
quite
early.
I’d
found
the
day exhausting
and
was
looking
forward
to
being
horizontal,
if not
sound
asleep,
by
eleven.
In
the
end,
I
managed
neither. I’d
just
kicked
off
my
shoes
and
was
halfway
out
of
my
jeans
when
my
phone
rang
again.
When
I
saw
that
the
caller
was Eddie,
I
seriously
considered
letting
it
ring
out.
Supposing his
relationship
with
Margaret
lasted
for
weeks
or
months?
Would
he
still
be
calling
me
for
advice
every
couple
of
hours? Despite
my
doubts,
sheer
nosiness
quickly
got
the
better
of me
and
I
picked
up
.

“Edward. What can I do for you now?
”

“Jackie, I’m really sorry to be calling again. You must be sick of the sight of me. Sound of me.
”

“That’s okay. What’s up now? Are you in a toilet again?” “Yes. In Hegarty’s.
”

I’d been joking; I should have known better. “So you moved venue.
”

“Yes. She wanted to. You were right – thanks. I just asked her and it was no big deal.
”

“Told you s–
”

“But once we got settled in here, we got into a proper conversation – more relaxed, you know, not just small talk.
”

“Right. That’s a good thing, surely?
”

“Ish. She asked me about my … past. Girlfriend-wise.” “Oh.
”

“I didn’t know what to say, so I told her I didn’t want to talk about it.
”

“Fair enough.
”

“Yeah, it was fair enough for a while – about thirty seconds. Then she got all intrigued. Curious. She wanted to know if I’d had a ‘bad experience’. She kept saying that over and over again. It must be a phrase that women use, is it?
”

Not
for
the
first
time,
I
longed
to
know
what
it
must
be
like
to
be
inside
his
head,
looking
out
.

“‘A phrase that women use’? Eddie! We don’t have little sayings of our own that you don’t know about. She was just showing an interest.
”

“Well, whatever. I panicked, Jackie. I panicked and I told her I’d had a serious girlfriend for ages. Lynette.
Lynette
, for God’s sake! I don’t know where I got that from. Anyway – me and this Lynette were mad about each other. Planned to get married, the whole works. But it all came to an end last year.
”

“How?
”

“That’s where I got stuck. I couldn’t think of a thing to say. So I said I was too upset to talk about it and ran off to the jacks again.
”

“I see.
”

“So?
”

“So what?
”

“So what am I going to say? I could have Lynette getting cancer or something but that seems a bit morbid. Then again, I can’t just say I dumped her because I’m after spending ten minutes going on about how great she was, funny and nice and kind to animals, all that. And I certainly can’t say
she
dumped
me
. What kind of an ad would that be? Maybe if –
”

“All right, Eddie, stop right there. You don’t have to do anything. Just leave it. The way things sit now, she thinks you’ve got a tragic, mysterious past. That’s brilliant. Women
love
a tragic, mysterious past.
”

“Do they?
”

“Of course!
”

“Well, even if they do, they don’t like being lied to, do they? It’s bound to come out … some day.
”

“Look … don’t take this the wrong way, Eddie, but this is your first date. There might not be a ‘some day’. And if there is, worry about it then. In the meantime, you’re not on
trial
. You’re not under
oath
. Relax.
”

He breathed down the line. “Okay. Relax. Relax. Relax. I just don’t like lying, that’s all.
”

“No one does,” I said with a small cough. “Now go back in and clam right up. No more talking about Lynette. Just refuse. And remember, the less you say, the more tragic and mysterious you’ll look.
”

“Right. Okay. Right. Thanks again, Jackie. Where would I be without you?
”

“Look where you are
with
me,” I sighed. “A pub toilet.” We said goodnight
.

CHAPTER
18

I barely
slept
at
all
on
Tuesday
night.
Every
time
I
closed my eyes
I
saw
Chrissy’s
pinched-up face,
spitting
venom at
her
father.
I
tried
to
tell
myself
that
he
deserved
it,
of course,
but
I
couldn’t
make
the
thought
stick.
It
was
just after
seven
when
I
finally
woke
up
for
good.
I
lay
there staring
at
the
ceiling
and
eventually
heard
the
others
get themselves
ready
for
the
day.
Colm
left
at
about
eight,
at
whic
h
poin
t
Nial
l
decide
d
h
e
woul
d
giv
e
a
little
performance.
Although
his
repertoire
was
limited
to
just
one number – if
it had had
a name,
it would have
been “Lar
Lar Lar”
–
he
compensated
by
singing
it
at
full
volume.
Every
so often,
I
heard Melissa
asking him
to
keep it
down, but
to no avail.
I
knew
I
should
just
get
out
of
bed;
the
noise
would (presumably)
be
less
annoying
once
I
was
up
and
about.
But
I
felt
too
leaden
to
move.
I
stayed
put
until
almost
ten
o’clock,
growing
more
and
more
irritated
by
the
minute.
By
the
time
I
finally
roused
myself
and
sloped
off
to
the
shower,
I
was
frowning
so
hard
that
my
forehead
was
beginning
to
ache
.