The Bucket List to Mend a Broken Heart (26 page)

‘I’m so sorry. I’ve been neglecting you.’

‘Don’t be daft. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know Laura and Giles. They’re really sweet.’

I feel a moment of relief that she’s not having a terrible
time.

‘But, really, you and Ben – I haven’t seen you laugh this much in ages.’

‘We’ve been talking about children’s TV programmes, and he does the best impressions,’ I say, trying not to laugh at the memory of his
Rugrats
one.

‘Well, I never saw Joseph make your face crease up like that.’

‘Joking around isn’t his style,’ I say. Joseph is one of those people who always smiles but never really
seems to laugh. In fact, in our whole relationship I don’t think I ever heard him do a proper belly laugh once.

‘And yet you thought he was the one? Imagine a lifetime without laughter.’

I want to defend mine and Joseph’s relationship. There’s a serious side to love too. It’s not all fun and games.

‘It’s not just the laughing,’ says Sian, before I get a chance. ‘You’ve been really tactile with
Ben all day.’

‘No, I haven’t,’ I say, folding my arms over my chest defensively.

‘Um, I think you’ll find you have. There’s been shoves and arm hits, not to mention the hug when Laura took your picture.’

‘It wasn’t a hug – he was a putting his arm round me in a friendly mates’ way.’

‘Uh-huh.’

I’m suddenly hit with a wave of embarrassment. ‘Oh, God, do you think it looks like I’m coming on
to him?’

I’m wondering if it wasn’t Sian’s mood that scared him off earlier, but more a desperate attempt to break away from me. Maybe he’s been trying to get away from me all day and I haven’t noticed. This was supposed to be his trip away with his friends and I totally gatecrashed it.

‘Far from it. I think he’s giving as good as he’s getting. In fact, I’d say he’s pretty into you.’

‘Um, whatever,’
I say, turning into an American teenager.

‘Come on. He looks at you with his puppy-dog eyes. When we were eating lunch I caught him just staring at you.’

‘But he’s got a girlfriend.’

‘I get the impression from Laura that it’s an on/off relationship. If it’s not serious . . .’

I look up at Ben bounding down the mountain. He’s talking to Giles, his arms waving around as he explains something.
I catch a glimpse of his profile – his dark messy hair, his overgrown beard. He’s so not my type. Yet, at the same time, he’s not unattractive. Not in the slightest.

‘Maybe you should ask him out on a date. I mean, what’s stopping you?’

Tammy for starters. She made her position very clear on Thursday.

Then there’s the more important fact that he’s not Joseph. Seeing Joseph on Thursday night
at the supermarket seemed to cement in my mind why I was doing this crazy list.

And anyway, Sian’s wrong about Ben having any feelings for me. He knows that I’m trying to win back the love of my life. If there was even so much as the remotest hint that he fancied me then why would he be helping me to do it? And, even if he did like me and I liked him, he’s hardly boyfriend material – he’s banged
on enough about how doomed love is. He’s even more pessimistic than Sian.

‘I’m just saying, think about it,’ she says, walking a little quicker so we can catch up with Ben who’s now walking with Pete.

Ben turns to me and smiles and I can’t help smiling back, but it’s only because he’s got one of those magnetic smiles – nothing else.

‘So, Pete, what games are we going to play tonight then?’
asks Sian as she weaves her way between him and Ben.

I inwardly groan. It seems the closer we get to the bunkhouse, the more Sian’s libido wakes up.

‘I’m not sure. My mind’s just on getting showered and changed into dry clothes at the moment.’

‘In the nice lukewarm showers,’ says Sian, turning towards Ben. ‘As I’ve been reminded.’

He looks at me, smiling.

‘I was only saying. It’s not my fault
there’s no water pressure or hot water.’

‘Are you sure it wasn’t because you were having a long shower this morning primping and preening all your curls?’ I say, giggling.

‘Well, they do get dehydrated otherwise,’ says Ben, laughing.

I don’t care about the dribbly shower, I’d settle for towelling myself down and getting out of these damp clothes and into my trackie bottoms and hoodie. I can
picture myself being curled up by the fire (on a duvet on the floor) with a cuppa.

‘I thought she was more outdoorsy than you,’ says Ben.

‘I thought so too. She’s always trying to get me to go camping.’

‘You know you’re only one step away from camping in that bunkhouse.’

‘Probably, but it’s the thought of not having a toilet, and being able to hear everything outside that gets me. The lumps
that you feel through the floor, and the fact that you always get mud inside the tent, no matter how hard you try. And it always gets so messy as there’s never enough room to put everything.’ I shudder at the thought of camping holidays when I was little.

‘So, you have camped before?’

‘Not by choice, only when I was too young to refuse.’

‘Camping’s changed a lot since we were kids.’

‘Are there
now tents with flushing toilets?’

‘Well, no.’

‘Do you still have to put the tents up yourself and wrestle to get them down again?’

‘There are the little pop-up tents that you can throw up.’

‘But aren’t they super small? And I take it you can’t also throw them to put them away again.’

‘No.’

‘I rest my case. No camping for me.’

‘I still think you’re missing out. Some of the best memories
I have are from camping.’

‘Seems like some of your best memories are from anything that doesn’t involve creature comforts.’

Ben thinks for a moment, before nodding. ‘You know that’s pretty true. I’m at my happiest when I’m outdoors doing stuff like this. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to live in a hut in the woods, and I love my TV as much as the next guy, but sometimes the most fun things
are the most simple and basic.

‘I’ve done the whole staying in five-star hotels thing. When I went backpacking round South East Asia I used to treat myself every so often and stay somewhere super-swanky. I’m not saying it wasn’t nice. Hot baths. Beds that had comfortable duvets and you knew wouldn’t have lice. But, once I was clean and lying in bed, all I did was watch telly. Something I could
have done at home. Whereas in the flea-ridden backpackers’ bungalow on the beach your tiny wooden hut wasn’t conducive for chilling out, so you’d always hang out in the communal areas on the triangular floor cushions, drinking cold beers and chewing the fat with other travellers.’

The laid-back traveller retreats that Ben’s talking about sound pretty alluring. I’m not going to ask him about the
toilet situation, though. I don’t want to ruin my romantic impression of his hippy hang-outs.

‘I have to admit, I’d settle for a five-star hotel now, though. Wouldn’t you? Just imagine how nice it would be to slip out of these wet clothes, and into a lavender-infused bubble bath,’ I say.

I tried with his roughing-it vision, I really did. But a bath, fluffy robe and free flip-flop slippers are
exactly what I fancy. I bet Joseph would be climbing into one right now if he’d done this challenge. In fact, I bet he would have caught the train back down the mountain and been all clean, tucking into a pint in one of the many village pubs by now.

I look at the bunkhouse that’s coming into view and try not to feel bitter that it’s my home for the night. Honestly.

‘So, are you pleased that
you’re rapidly ticking off the things on your list? I mean, you’re well and truly over halfway through now.’

‘I know,’ I say.

‘You don’t sound particularly pleased about it.’

‘It’s just that I’m over halfway through now, and I still worry that it might be all be for nothing. What if I don’t get Joseph back?’

‘If Joseph isn’t impressed with what you’ve been up to then he’s not worthy of you.
Besides, you know I don’t believe in happy endings.’

I’m about to reply when he gives a low whistle.

‘Blimey, what’s she doing here?’ he says, the confusion evident in his voice.

I look closer at the bunkhouse and I can see the tiny figure of a woman sitting on the doorstep playing with a phone.

There’s no mistaking that it’s Tammy.

Our last one hundred metres are spent in silence as Ben
stares at his girlfriend in disbelief.

I can’t help but feel disappointed that she’s here. I know she’s his girlfriend and she has every right to be here, but I’ve enjoyed having Ben almost to myself this weekend – all banter and easy conversation. She made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t to continue my friendship with Ben after this list is complete, and I wanted to make the most of our time
together while I could. It’s only going to feel awkward with her here.

I deliberately distance myself from Ben as we approach, wary about her warning, and I watch as he goes over to her. Sian was well and truly barking up the wrong tree – he couldn’t seem to get to her quickly enough.

‘What are you doing here?’ he says, his hands resting on his hips.

‘There was some problem with my race entry,’
she says, holding her hands out for him to pull her up. ‘Aren’t you pleased to see me?’

He looks around at the rest of us, who have come up behind him, and seems a little self-conscious. ‘Just surprised.’

She leans over and kisses him on the lips before turning to the rest of us.

‘Laura,’ she says, going over and giving her a hug. ‘Giles, Pete, Doug.’

She does a roll call and smiles at each
of the boys. I don’t know if I’m imagining it but they don’t seem that thrilled to see her either.

‘Hello,’ she says, turning to me and Sian. ‘Nice to see you two again.’

I see Sian’s nostrils flare, the tension from their first meeting still there.

‘So, you all look like you need to get warm, and I’m dying for a drink,’ she says going over to retrieve her backpack.

Laura hurries forward and
opens the front door.

We all pull our waterproofs and boots off and make our way to the drying room to hang them up. I’m desperately trying not to step in any of the damp patches that we’ve made all over the floor as, miraculously, my super-comfy thick hiking socks are the only things that remained dry.

‘I’ll put the kettle on,’ calls Laura as she hands her wet gear to Giles.

‘That sounds like
heaven,’ I say. I could think of nothing better right now than a nice cup of tea.

‘Dibs I get first shower,’ says Sian. ‘Is that OK?’

‘Fine with me,’ I say. ‘I’m just going to get changed and towel dry my hair.’

I’m sure that piddly shower will only make me colder.

‘Now, get your bits together,’ Tammy says to Ben. ‘I’ve booked us into a B&B in town so we can have some proper time alone.’

It suddenly feels a bit crowded in the drying room.

‘Um, really?’ says Ben. ‘But we’re all here together. We’ve got some wine, and we were going to have dinner.’

‘But you’ve done your walk. Wasn’t that the important thing? You said you had to do that, but you didn’t say anything about the socialising afterwards.’

Tammy’s voice seems to be echoing around the walls, and if she hadn’t been blocking
the door I’d be legging it out of there. It’s the most uncomfortable I’ve been all day, which is saying something as my knickers have been damp from the rain for the last hour.

‘Can we talk about this somewhere else?’ says Ben, trying to push Tammy out into the corridor.

‘Fine, but we’re going to the B&B. I’ve already got my stuff there.’

Ben looks round at us, and we all look away, embarrassed
at the scene playing out.

‘But these are my friends.’

‘And what am I supposed to be? Now come on, let’s get your stuff.’ She turns on her heel and walks towards the bedrooms.

For a minute Ben stands there motionless and none of the rest of us leave either. It seems there is safety in numbers as Tammy is pretty scary in her current mood.

‘Ben!’ she shrieks from down the corridor.

He turns
to us once more.

‘I’m really sorry, guys. I don’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting her. I wasn’t expecting this.’

He’s so apologetic, I feel ridiculously sorry for him. He seems genuinely torn between his friends and his girlfriend, but I know who he’s going to choose. He has to, after all. She’s his girlfriend.

‘Don’t worry, mate,’ says Giles, slapping him on the back. ‘Go enjoy your comfy
bed and your bubble bath.’

For a moment I’m lost in the thought of luxury and want to suggest that I take Ben’s place. But then Tammy shrieks again, and there’s no bubble bath in the world that would be good enough to want to spend any more time near her in that mood.

‘Well done, Abi. I’m proud of you for conquering your first mountain. We’ll toast to it in Paris,’ says Ben, deliberately lowering
his voice.

I smile. ‘You bet.’

At least we’ll always have Paris. Our last hurrah as friends. After seeing Tammy in action today she’s shown that she’s not a woman to be crossed.

‘So, that’s interesting,’ says Sian, as I walk into our room.

‘Wasn’t it?’ I say, my voice sounding a little deflated.

‘I thought it was just me that brought out the worst in her, but she was spitting venom at everyone.
It’s a shame Ben’s going. You can’t tell me that you’re not a little gutted,’ says Sian.

I look up but am too slow to correct her.

‘I knew it. You can deny it all you want, but there’s something between you and Ben.’

I start to pull off my soggy clothes. ‘It’s not that,’ I say, sighing. ‘It’s more that I’ve enjoyed having him to myself. Does that sound nuts?’

‘Not really.’

She’s gathering
up her shower stuff to go and brave the lukewarm drizzle.

‘I mean, we’ve had such a lovely few weeks of doing my challenges, and then this weekend it’s been so fun, but as soon as he saw her he changed.’

‘Maybe it was just shock. He did seem caught off guard that she was here.’

‘Maybe,’ I say, putting on my clean, dry clothes. Pulling my old comfy hoodie over my head feels as if someone’s giving
me a really nice hug.