The Captive (14 page)

She nodded.

“Because,” she said, “I have Samir.”

I had seen Samir a beautiful child of about four years old. He was made much of by the women. He was the eldest of the harem children.

There was one other Feisal, who was about a year younger and also a very attractive boy. I had seen him with a woman, a few years younger, I imagined, than Nicole. Her name was Fatima.

Fatima was a voluptuous beauty with masses of black hair and languid dark eyes. She was self-indulgent in the extreme, indolent and vain.

She would sit by the pool for hours, eating sweetmeats and feeding them to one of the little King Charles spaniels who were her constant companions Fatima cared passionately for four beings herself, Feisal and her two little dogs.

Both the boys were taken away at times and there was a great deal of preparation then. They went to see the Pasha. There were two other little boys in the harem but they were as yet only babies. There were no girls. At first I wondered why it was that all the Pasha’s children were boys.

Nicole was very informative. She told me that if a woman gave birth to a girl child she went away, to her family perhaps. The Pasha was not interested in daughters, only sons; and if a woman gave birth to a son who was beautiful and intelligent such as Samir she was in high favour.

Samir, being the eldest, would be the Pasha’s heir. That was why the other women were jealous of her. She had first been set above them by the Pasha’s preference but that could be fleeting whereas Samir was

always there, a reminder to the Pasha that he could beget fine boys; and he favoured the women who helped him prove this.

She told me that she had secretly taught Samir French and when the Pasha had discovered this she had been terrified of what he would do.

But she had heard through the Chief Eunuch that he was pleased that the boy should learn as much as he could and she might continue teaching him.

It surprised me that a woman of the Western world could so adjust herself to this way of life and that she could be proud of her position and intensely hate anyone who tried to snatch it from her.

But how pleased I was to be able to talk to her and discover something of those around me.

I learned of the tremendous rivalry between her and Fatima who had great ambitions for her son Feisal.

“You see,” said Nicole, ‘but for Samir, Feisal would be the Pasha’s heir and she would be First Lady. She wants very much to take my place. “

“She will never do that. You are more beautiful and much cleverer.

Moreover, Samir is a wonderful boy. “

“Feisal is not bad,” she admitted.

“And if I were to die …”

“Why should you die?”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“Fatima is a very jealous woman. Once, long ago, one of the women poisoned another. It would not be difficult.”

“She would not dare.”

“One woman dared.”

“But she was discovered.”

“It was long ago. Before the Pasha’s day, but they still talk about it. They took her out. They buried her up to her neck in the grounds out there. They left her in the sun … to die. It was her punishment.”

I shivered.

“I would wish the same for Fatima if she harmed my son.”

“You must make sure that she does not.”

in

“It is what I intend to do.”

Life was easier now that I had made contact with Nicole.

There were our beautiful clothes, our scents, our unguents, our sweetmeats, our lazy days; we were like birds of paradise in cages.

After the hardships I had suffered this was a strange life to come to.

I wondered how long it would go on.

The Pasha was away-news which delighted me.

A lethargy fell upon the harem. They lay about, dreamily admiring themselves in hand mirrors which they carried in the pockets of their capacious trousers, nibbling their sweetmeats, singing or playing their little musical instruments, quarrelling together.

Two of them quarrelled very fiercely, rolling on the mosaic floor, tugging at each other’s hair and kicking wildly until Rani came and beat them both, sent them off in disgrace and said they would not have a chance with the Pasha for three months. That soon sobered them.

Then he returned and there was great excitement. They all became docile and eager to please, displaying their charms, although there were only their companions and the occasional eunuch to see them.

Rani selected her six. I saw her eyes rest on me, and horror was replaced by relief when I realized that she considered me still not ripe for the great honour.

The six girls were selected two who had been before and found special favour, and four novices.

We all watched them being prepared. They were bathed first, their skins anointed, and scent rubbed into their hair. Henna was applied to the soles of their feet and the palms of their hands. Their lips were reddened with beeswax and their eyes made large with kohl. Flowers were set in their hair, bracelets on their wrists and ankles before they were dressed in sequinned garments.

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We all waited to see who would be sent back.

It was one of the youngest who was chosen on that occasion.

“She will give herself airs when she returns,” Nicole said to me.

“They always do … particularly the young ones. I thought it might be your turn.”

I must have betrayed my revulsion, for she said: “You do not want?”

“I wish with all my heart that I could get away.”

“If he saw you … you would be the one.”

“I … no … no …”

“It will come. Perhaps soon …”

“I would do anything … anything to escape.”

She was thoughtful.

Nicole told me that if one was to receive those little privileges which were such a part of harem life, one must be on good terms with two people. One was Rani, of course; the other was the Chief Eunuch.

“He is the important one. He is the Pasha of the Harem. I have made him a very good friend of mine.”

“I can see you are very wise.”

“So long I have been here. It is the only home I know.”

“And you are reconciled to all this … to being one of many?”

“It is the way of life here,” she replied.

“Samir is my son. He will be Pasha one day. I shall be the Pasha’s mother and that is a very honourable state, I can tell you.”

“Would you not like a normal marriage … a husband and children … not all the time wondering if someone will replace you?”

“I have always known this.” She waved her arms, indicating the harem.

“It is so with all of them here. They know nothing else. They want to be the Pasha’s favourite. They want to have a son who surpasses all others … and makes

for his mother the grand position from which none can shake her. “

“Can that be?”

“It can be.”

“And that is your ambition?”

“My ambition is in Samir. Tell me of your ambition.”

“To get away from here. To get back to my home … to my own people.

To find those who were with me when I was shipwrecked. “

“It is almost certain that you will be the chosen of the Pasha. When Rani thinks you are ready, she will send you to him. He will like you because you are different. He must be tired of these dark-skinned beauties. You are something quite new. If you have a son … your future is made.”

“I would do anything to escape it. Nicole, I am frightened. I do not want this. It is not what I have been brought up to understand. I feel unclean … cheapened … just a slave … a woman without a personality … and no life of her own.”

“You talk strangely and yet I understand. I did not begin as one of them either.”

“But you have accepted this way of life.”

“I was too young for anything else and now there is Samir. I want this for him. He will be Pasha one day. That is what I want more than anything.”

“You will get your wish. He is the eldest.”

“Sometimes I am afraid of Fatima. When she goes to the Pasha she takes with her a powerful draught. I know she brews it. There is a way of rousing a man’s desire. I have heard it talked of. It is made of crushed rubies, peacock’s bones and the testicles of a ram. They are mixed and slipped into the wine. I think when she goes to the Pasha she tries this.”

“Where … where would she find these things?”

“Rani has a secret cupboard in which are many strange things. Herbs .

potions … all sorts of mixtures. Rani knows much of these things. She may have this draught among her scents and unguents.”

“But you say it is a secret cupboard.”

“She keeps it locked, but there may be means of finding the key.

Fatima would be wise in this matter. I know her. She would do anything . just anything. That is why I am afraid. “

“But when does she see the Pasha?”

“We are the mothers of his favourite sons … she and I. He sends for us now and then … a sort of courtesy visit … to talk of our sons and to spend the night. Oh, I fear that woman. She is determined.

She would do anything . anything. Her hopes are in Feisal. The Pasha is fond of him. The Chief Eunuch tells me this. Chief Eunuch does not like Fatima. That is not good for her. She is very foolish sometimes . and foolish women do rash things. When she was favoured she gave herself such airs. She thought she was First Lady already. She was disrespectful to Chief Eunuch . so they are now enemies. Silly Fatima. If she could, she would harm Samir and me in some way. “

“But Samir is the eldest and so bright and clever.”

That I know, but it is in the hands of the Pasha. Now he likes Samir.

He is proud of Samir. He is the eldest and the favourite. While he is so, all is well. But it is the Pasha who decides and he will have many sons. If Fatima could do me or Samir some harm it would be done. “

“I cannot believe she would attempt it.”

“It happened once … in the harem.”

“But it will not again. Everyone knows what happened last time. That would be enough to deter them.”

“I do not know. Fatima is a determined woman. She would risk much for Feisal and her own advantage. I must be watchful.”

“I will be watchful, too.”

“And now there will be you. You will have a son. That son would be different. He would be like you. In Samir and

“5

Feisal, well, there is a likeness. But your son would be quite different. “

I was filled with horror at the thought of it and recoiled from her.

“It’s true,” she said.

“And do you really mean that you would not want this?”

“I could almost wish I had not been saved from the ship. I wish we had stayed on the island. If only I could get away … Oh, Nicole, if only that were possible. I would do anything … anything.”

She was staring ahead of her, deep in thought.

^ ^ nA few days later I was sitting by the fountain when she approached and sat down beside me.

“I have something for you,” she said.

“For me?” I asked in surprise.

“I think you will be pleased. Chief Eunuch gave it to me for you. It is from the man who came with you.”

“Do you mean … Nicole, where is it?”

“Be careful. We may be watched. Fatima watches everything. Rest your hand on the seat. In a moment I will slip a paper into it.”

“No one is looking.”

“How can you be sure? There are watchful eyes everywhere. These women seem idle. They are idle … but because they have nothing to do, they invent intrigue … even when it is not there. They are bored . looking for excitement… and when it does not come they try to make it. They have nothing to do but watch and gossip. Do as I say if you want this note.”

“Oh, I do. I do.”

“You must be careful then. Chief Eunuch says it is very important. He could lose his life for doing this. He does it for me … because I ask.”

My hand was lying on the seat. She laid hers beside it and after a few moments a crumpled paper was slipped under mine.

“Do not look at it now. Hide it…”

1 slipped it into my trouser pocket. I could scarcely sit still. But she said it would be unwise of me to get up and hurry away. Someone might suspect something and that could mean dire consequences for us all.

I knew that for a man to communicate with the women of the harem could result in a cruel and lingering death, not only for the man but for the woman concerned. This had been the rule for centuries and I could believe that it still prevailed in this place which seemed to have slipped back-or never emerged from-another era.

I had to suppress my impatience until at length I felt I could wander off without arousing any undue curiosity. They were used to my being alone when I was not with Nicole, for she was the only one to whom I could talk. I went into the room where we slept. It was deserted, so I sat on my divan and brought out the piece of paper.

Rosetta [I read], I am nearby. I was brought here with you and I am working in the gardens just outside the harem. I was able to do a service for an important person and his pride demands he repay me. This is how he is doing it, by bringing this note to you. We are close. I am thinking hard. I will do something. Never fear. Don’t give up hope.

S.

I felt limp with relief. I screwed up the paper. I wanted to keep it, to hide it away under my clothes, to feel it against my skin, to remind me that he had written it and that he was nearby and thinking of me.

But I must destroy it. It was dangerous and if it were discovered it could destroy us. It was dangerous. I tore it into as many pieces as I could. I would scatter them .

few pieces at a time so that it would never be discovered.

Later I talked to Nicole.

“You are happier,” she said.

“What I brought you pleased you.”

“Oh yes, but it is difficult to see how there can be change. Does anyone ever escape from here?”

“Husbands are sometimes found if the Pasha is no longer interested and knows he never will be again. A few have been returned to their families.”

“But does anyone ever run away?”

She shook her head.

“I do not think that would be possible.”