The Champion (Racing on the Edge) (29 page)

Cole Jacob Riley, very different from Lane, was a
spitting image of Spencer with his black hair and big blue eyes. He looked
almost identical to him when he was a baby, so Nancy said.

“Where the hell are your clothes?” Jameson asked Jim, who
was still in his underwear, when he walked in to check on us.

“I had to wrap her up in something.” He motioned to Arie.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to my sponsor about a new hauler.”

I let the boys argue amongst themselves and got lost in
my little wonders, my son and daughter. Axel seemed curious and he kept peeking
at Arie as if she wasn’t real.

“Baby?” he asked pointing at her with his chubby little
index finger.

“Yes, this is your sister, Arie.”

Axel smiled, his eyes focused on her. “Baby,” he
repeated.

My fairytale just got better. Just when I thought my life
was everything I wanted, Arie was brought into the world, adding to the
unbelievable happiness I felt. The thing about fairytales was having faith in
things that don’t come true, and appreciating them when they do.

In Lap – Jameson

A tiny hand freed from the blanket and her delicate
fingers curled around my pinky. I smiled down at her so pure and innocent. I
was too overcome by the child in my arms to speak. My daughter.

I was the father of a daughter now.

For months I prepared myself of the idea of having a
daughter and my gut instinct told me Sway was carrying a girl even though the
ultrasounds revealed nothing. I had no idea how to react around a girl. Even
with Lexi, my niece, I never knew how to be around her. With Axel and Lane, it
was easy for me. I related to them. With Arie, would I know what to do? And
what happens when she gets older? And dating?

Oh god
, talk about fears.

I placed a soft kiss on her forehead, rocking her gently
when Spencer came inside holding his newborn son. “Hey.” He said softly peering
down at Arie. “She’s beautiful.”

“She is.” I glanced up at the baby in his arms. “How’s
Cole?”

He smiled. “Good, he looks like me.”

We talked quietly for a little while before my fears of
fathering a little girl emerged.

“Is it different with Lexi than with Lane?”

Spencer seemed to contemplate this for a moment before
answering. My gaze focused on Arie when he spoke. “Having a daughter is
different. I find myself easier on Lexi than Lane. Just
...
be prepared to give in
...
a
lot
.”

I chuckled softly, trying not to wake the babies. If this
was anything like the way Sway owned my heart, as well as Axel now, I was so
screwed.

Even though I was supposed to be leaving for Atlanta
right now, I couldn’t force myself from this angel in my arms. Just her tiny
presence relaxed me.

Thankfully, Alley was in a hospital bed and couldn’t boss
me around, although she had her phone with her.

Jameson,
you’re supposed to be in Atlanta right now. Tell Spencer to get his ass back in
here.

“Your wife is looking for you.” I told Spencer as he
reached to trade babies.

“She’ll get over it.” he cooed down at Arie. “You sure
are pretty sweetheart,”

“Look at you big guy.” I spoke softly cradling Cole to my
chest. He was big compared to Arie. He had at least two pounds on her. Cole
looked identical to Spencer when he was younger, as Lane and Lexi looked more
like Alley.

Sway woke up about an hour later when Spencer choked on a
fry he’d shoved in his mouth after mom brought us food.

My phone began vibrating with calls from Kyle and dad
wondering where I was.

Sway knew I needed to leave and always knew the anxiety I
felt toward this. She always knew that I didn’t want to leave.

“You
have
to Jameson. It’s your job.”

“I just want to be with you guys.” I told her looking
down at our kids in her arms. “Nothing else matters right now.”

She smiled and kissed my hand that was wrapped around her
cheek.

“You know that I don’t hold it against you
...
and neither do they.” She gestured toward
Axel and Arie who were both asleep. “We love you no matter what. We love you
even though you have to leave when our baby girl is only hours old. We
love
you
, Jameson.”

Kneeling next to the bed, I nodded and reached for Axel’s
tiny hand. His finger instinctively wrapped around mine as he slept. There was
no doubt in my mind that they loved me
...
but
it didn’t change the fact that it hurt to leave.

An hour later, I was on the jet back to Atlanta with
Spencer.

“This feels wrong.” I told Spencer who sat next to me.

“I know what you mean.” He sighed. “We missed the birth
of our children today and now we’re leaving when they’re not even a day old.”

“You know you don’t have to do this.” I offered. “I can
easily find someone to fill your place for a few weeks. You can stay with your
family.”

He didn’t hesitate before looking up from his phone at
me.

“I know that. But you’re my family too. I don’t do this
just because it’s a job, Jameson. I never have. I love what I do and I love
that we’re all a family doing it together. Alley understands that because it’s
the same reason she does it. It’s more than a job to us. It’s our way of life.”

Racing can control every aspect of your life if you let
it. But the thing was that was my life. There was no controlling it. It owned
all of us. Sway understood why I needed to be in Atlanta Saturday night, it
marked the end of the regular season and the chance to make it into the chase.
The points between the top four were so close. I couldn’t afford to risk a
back-up driver. It needed to be me in the car.

So I went to Atlanta and left my wife, my son, and my
infant baby girl back home.

The sacrifices
...
they
never got easier.

14.
        
Catch Can – Sway

Catch Can – A
smaller can with a spout held at the overfill port to catch the gas spilled
over. This can also allow the air trapped in the tank to vent faster than
normal, critical for faster pit stops.

“I want owc cleam!” The tiny vein in my soon to be
four-year old son’s neck was popping out as he said this.

“You want what?”

“Owc cleam!”

Laughing I contemplated what that meant. “I’m guessing
you mean ice cream?”

“That’s what I said.”

Oh geez, now he sounds like Lane.

“No, you said owc cleam. I don’t even know what that is and
it doesn’t sound edible. It sounds like a kitchen cleaner or something.”

“Mama
...
I just
need
it.” Axel told me, his intense vibrant green eyes focused on the bowl I was
holding full of his favorite peanut butter ice cream with chocolate syrup.

Apparently, all the Ben and Jerry ice cream I’d eaten
while pregnant with him had rubbed off and he was just as enthusiastic toward
the fluffy wonderful creation as me.

I remembered the first time we gave him ice cream. It was
during a rain delay in Atlanta.

Atlanta Georgia during the summer is miserable regardless
if it’s raining or not, so during that particular rain break we fed our 6-month
old son ice cream. From that point on, every time someone had ice cream it was
as though Axel knew and would do just about anything to get some of it, similar
to me.

Axel was similar to me in many ways but he resembled
Jameson. You could look at him and know exactly who his father was. He had the same
expressions, same attitude and same quirky skin phobia (he barely let me put
soap on him.) But what got most people was how much he looked like him in the
face.

I once took him grocery shopping with me and this older
woman, clearly a fan of NASCAR with her Tate Harris memorabilia plastered all
over her, stopped us near the checkout counter.

“Wow,” she gasped staring at a 3-year old Axel. “He looks
just like Jameson Riley, the NASCAR driver.”

I smile politely at her.

“Yeah well,” I began. “If you see him around the track,
tell him his wife said hello.”

By her reaction to this statement, that was the last time
I ever told someone I was married to the Jameson Riley. Her reaction was as
though I told her I was married to Brad Pitt for crying out-loud. Took us 45
minutes to get away from her and from that point on, Emma did my shopping for
me.

This had its own drawbacks but it was worth it not to run
into fans at the grocery store.

“Mama?” Axel called out with a mouth full of ice cream.
“Re-Re stole Mr. Wiggles.” Ice cream trickled down his chin and onto his gray
JAR Racing t-shirt.

“Well get him back from her.” I replied closing the
dishwasher door and starting the final load of dishes from last night’s dinner.
I should have done them last night but Jameson got home around nine and well,
we got distracted once the kids were in bed.

“She not giving back. I need back!”

This was my life these days. My kids fought all the time
and if they’re not fighting with each other
...
they’re
fighting us. The bad part of this was—they won. Most of the time, their
arguments were worse it public or at the track. I always sensed when Jameson
was getting stressed as they fed off him and then everyone was upset. To be
fair, Jameson was working most of the time he was at the track and having the
kids there shot his anxiety levels through the roof. Now he not only had
himself to worry about but what he said and did directly affected a family. A
family that was there at the track with him and was subjected to the judging
media.

In turn, there were times when Jameson had the occasional
outburst at Axel’s tendency to run away at the least opportune times. Like when
cars were driving past in the paddock or garage area. The kids threw fits at
the worst possible times and when we were in a hurry, they decided at that
moment to slow down.

“Mama!” Axel screamed throwing himself on the floor.
“Give it back!”

“Arie, give Axel back his Mr. Wiggles.” I told her taking
Mr. Wiggles from her chubby little hands. 

Her response: “No!”

That was her standard answer for everything and was
usually followed by a tremendous amount of wailing and tears.

Arie had just turned two in September and if I thought
Axel worked us over at times; Arie put him to shame. She could get absolutely
anything from Jameson with just a flutter of her beautiful thick black lashes.

When she was born, Jameson was in awe at how much she
resembled me but I saw Jameson in her features as well her attitude. She had
his smirk for one, his lips, and of course his exact color of hair with my
emerald eyes. Axel had the lighter, grass green that Jameson had.

Life was changing as it always did. We were still living
in Mooresville but we kept the house on Summit Lake for the weekends we visited
Elma. Another baby was on the way, yeah, quick I know. Imagine my surprise.
Arie was only 18-months old when I got pregnant with this new little spaz. I
cried for nearly a month.

Jameson was on top of his career. He’d won four
back-to-back championships and finished second this year.

As always, time brought changes to our hectic lifestyles.

Trying to raise two kids on the road was hell. Arie
thought for the first year of her life that home, was the motor coach. When we
were home, she cried. When in the motor coach, she was happy.

Axel wasn’t happy unless he was at the track with his
dad. When he was at home, he was asking when he could go back to the track and
when daddy would be home—it was sometimes as though I didn’t exist to him.

Arie loved me though. Or at least she pretended well.

All this led to one thing, the crazy irrational kids and
I traveled with Jameson. There were times when we stayed home, depending on
what track he was racing at, but most of the time Thursday through Sunday, we
were at the track.

One bad thing about staying in a motor coach with
Jameson, me, Axel and Arie
...
the kids
were always around which left little alone time for the Mama Wizard and her
Dirty Heathen. We had to think of new inventive ways of getting alone time.

We made use of times like going out to dinner and cars
worked good for the occasional dyno testing as well. Leaving the kids with Tate
and his wife Eva was also an option on race weekends. They loved the kids as
though they were their own and Axel thought Tate was pretty cool. Alley and
Spencer were also options but this always left the question of where to do it
at, along with the harassment from Spencer.

Once, and I’m ashamed to admit this, we made use of a
bathroom in the pits. Embarrassing as hell, because Bobby picked that exact
moment to walk into the men’s rest room when I’m screaming like a hyena. It
took me a while to realize why he kept smiling the rest of the weekend until
Jameson confessed that Bobby felt badly for walking in and told him. I still
can’t look at Bobby without my face turning a shade similar to the Devil’s ass.

After I ruled out bathrooms, cars always seemed to be
where we got it on. This is why I
always
request a SUV when renting
cars. I’m not stupid. All this dyno testing might have something to do with the
fact that I was once again, pregnant with another flailing spaz. I also put Mr.
Jangles up for adoption. Damn thief.

Axel was now in school on Monday through Wednesday so
this meant most of the time I had to fly out a day later with the kids. That was
only if Axel didn’t get into trouble. Parent teacher conferences were my least
favorite thing to do. Honestly, I’d rather set myself on fire then attend a
parent teacher conference where the teacher goes into detail about the time she
met my husband or Axel’s lack of concern for anything that doesn’t relate to
racing.