The Champion (Racing on the Edge) (64 page)

As a racer, Jimi couldn’t just walk away. Not without
regrets.

“Hey Jameson,” Tommy yelled from the back of the pit bike
Lane was driving. “Can I get a ride with you back to Mooresville tonight?”

“Yeah,” Setting my empty beer down, I jumped up to push
Lane off the bike only to have him roost me in the face with gravel.

“Asshole!” I yelled after him.

He laughed and grinned the same grin he had when he was
three.

Lane was quite the racer on dirt bikes. He was racing in
the GNCC which was the Can-AM Grand National Cross Country series, America’s
premier off-road racing series. They ran a 13-round series that race on a wide
variety of terrain that included hills, woods, mud, dirt, rocks and motocross
sections. There a test of survival and speed, two things any Riley was good at.

He’d just won the XC1 Pro Bike Class this year and had a
very promising career ahead of him.

He circled around the pits and came back by me as I was
walking to my car.

“How’s that dirt taste?” He smarted off with a smug grin.

“How’s that car taste?” I asked just as smugly as I kept
my eyes forward so he wouldn’t notice the amusement. He was hardly paying
attention.

“What ca—” he smacked right into the side of my dad’s
truck sending him flying over the hood.

“That car,”

Walking around the side, I laughed at him sprawled on the
ground.

“Not such a hotshot now
...
are
you?”

Glaring, Lane didn’t say anything.

Axel ended up partying all night with his friends and
cousins while the old guys went home to our beds. I tried staying up when Axel
won the USAC Triple Crown last year and ended up lying in bed for two days
straight with the worst hangover ever. I was not meant to be a party animal any
longer; those days had passed me by.

Funny thing was that I was okay with that. I had
something much better waiting for me in bed. I may not be able to party like a
rock star any longer but I had no problems showing my wife just how much life
my camshaft still had.

I was able to sleep in my own bed that night before I
left for Homestead to finish out the season. Sway was packed and ready to go
with Casten and Arie when my phone wouldn’t stop ringing.

Glancing through the numerous emails from Alley and Emma
there were about ten calls from Justin and four from Tommy.

I panicked thinking something happened to Axel last
night. Trying to keep myself calm and guarded from Sway and the kids, I excused
myself and stepped back inside the house to call Justin.

He answered his voice rough and drained from any emotion.

“Did you call me?”

“Yeah, did you hear about Ryder?” there was a distance in
his voice that I hadn’t heard in a long time. At least not since the plane
crash.

“No—why?” I stopped for a second and then panicked. Ryder
wasn’t always the best influence on Axel and had gotten him in trouble on more
than one occasion. “Hey, is Axel with you?”

“No, he’s with Lily celebrating. I heard something about
them going to Jacksonville.”

“Oh, all right. What happened to Ryder?” Ryder was still
racing in the USAC sprint car division and swore up and down this was his last
season.

There was a long pause before he mumbled. “He wrecked at
Perris Auto Speedway last night
...
”
another long pause. “He died this morning from head injuries.”

I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my chest.

“Are you serious? Please tell me you’re not serious.”

I couldn’t understand why again.

Why did this kept happening? Couldn’t we catch a break?

“Justin,” I begged. “Jesus, please tell me you’re not
serious?”

“It’s not something I’d joke about, Jameson.”

I didn’t say anymore.

What could I say? Sorry. No, sorry wouldn’t do this
justice. Justin and I grew up with him and Tyler. We made our way through the
ranks together. Sure most of us went different directions but still, a bond had
formed back then that was still there today and always would be.

We have always known the dangers. But there was also
something about those dangers that urged us to put it all on the line. The
danger fueled the adrenaline.

Justin said he was flying to Knoxville where Ryder had
been living for the past few years to see his parents. I couldn’t though. I had
to be in Homestead tonight.

“Give his parents my best.” I told Justin before hanging
up. With the Outlaws finishing up their season last night, he was free to go if
he wanted.

“I will. I haven’t said anything to Axel. I thought you
should be the one to tell him. Ryder’s dad just called me about an hour ago
which means it will be hitting the news any minute now. You might want to call
him.”

“Thanks Justin
...
I
will call him.”

Sway walked in just as I hung up with her cell phone in
hand.

She held the phone out. “Axel is looking for you.” Her
eyes glazed with tears as she eyed me cautiously. She knew.

“I’m so sorry Jameson.” She offered wrapping her tiny
arms around me.

Inhaling a deep breath, I pulled back to look at her.
“It’s all right.”

My eyes focused on hers.

She didn’t even need to say it back, I already knew that
she wanted to comfort me, tell me everything would be all right.

“I love you.” She told me running her consoling hand down
my cheek.

Leaning into her touch, I dropped my head to pull her
into a hug when Casten came inside.

“What’s the deal?” he threw his arms up. “I thought we
were leaving.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Arie added stepping inside behind him.
“It’s hot in the car.”

The kids took in our embrace and looked between each
other knowing something was wrong.

“Is Axel okay?” Arie asked her brow scrunched in
confusion and nervousness.

“Yes sweetie, Axel is fine.” Sway told her walking over
to them. I nodded when her eyes met mine and then slipped inside the bathroom
down the hall to compose myself a little. Though I didn’t cry, I needed a few
minutes before I told Axel.

I heard Sway through the door telling Arie and Casten
what happened.

“Ryder wrecked last night at Perris
...
he died this morning.”

Neither one of the kids said anything. Just like me, they
knew the dangers.

I must have sat in that bathroom for a half hour just
staring at the wall trying to find the courage to call Axel. The problem with
it was that over time, he and Ryder had shaped a bond together. They’d raced in
the same division for close to ten years now. Ryder was not only a fellow racer
of his, but someone he looked up to. Just coming off a World Final win last
night, this was not something I wanted to tell him. But I also didn’t want him
to hear it on the news or from someone else.

He answered on about the fourth ring with a groggy voice.
“What’s up dad?”

“How are you feeling buddy? Get any sleep last night?”

“Yeah, I got a couple hours once we got to Jacksonville.
I was gonna head to Perris today though. Shane sent me a text that Ryder got in
a wreck there last night. I wanted to check on him.”

I couldn’t get the words out before he asked.

“Are you still there, dad?”

“Yeah
...
uh buddy
...
Ryder didn’t make it. He died this morning
from head injuries.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from him followed by a
deep shaky sigh before he asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,”

I wasn’t positive but from the sound of the television in
our family room, it was all over ESPN right now.

“You’re coming to Homestead, right?” Axel asked after a
moment of silence. I could hear Lily crying in the background.

“Yeah, I need to leave now.”

“I’ll meet you guys there.”

“You don’t have to come buddy. Just
...
enjoy some time off.”

“No, I need to be with my family right now.” He said this
as though it was the only option.

I think I’ve said this before but on the track,
everything is up for grabs. Tempers flared, friends you thought you had no
longer gave you room and would do anything to get a jump on you.

Off the track, the racing community is like your family.
They’d do anything for anyone. That never changes. With the plane crash earlier
in the year, we had all pulled together and did what we could do to go one and
now with Ryder, I knew we’d go on but it didn’t stop it from hurting. We needed
each other.

When Bobby cheated on his wife, multiple times, and no
one agreed with it. But when she left him, who do you think was there to offer
him a beer?

Yes, guys like me and Tate who were fellow racers.

Or when Wade Simmons, a 19-year old rookie NASCAR driver
was killed in Texas last year during happy hour. We all gathered together and
made sure his young wife and little girl would forever be taken care of.

Tate, Bobby, and me made sure that those families, who
lost their loved ones in that plane crash in May, were taken care of and had
nothing to worry about financially. The heartache alone would be enough. They
didn’t need to worry about trying to make a home for their family and deal with
that. I guess what I’m trying to say was that when tragedy strikes like this,
we pull together. That to me was us being champions in our sport. Sure winning
them defined the trophy but being a champion, there’s a difference between
earning the title and being it.

Now wasn’t any different. After the Homestead race, about
five hundred fellow racers attended Ryder’s funeral in Knoxville to pay their
respects for one the greatest drivers the USAC division had ever seen. Not only
had Ryder won the USAC Triple Crown ten times, he’d won events like Chili Bowl
Nationals eight times, Turkey Night, The Hut Hundred and the Cooper Classic
just to name a few. Basically, every race I’d ever won in a sprint car or
midget, Ryder Christensen had done too, only multiple times.

As a racer, you never want to attend another racer’s
funeral.

Why?

It made the possibility of it happening to you and your
family real. You see it. You see the family suffering and know that it could
have been you. Death is suddenly right there in your face, taunting you. It
reminds you just how precariously you’re balancing on the edge of disaster.

Here’s the thing about a warning to a race car driver. We
do not listen.

We never listen, or I shall say ninety percent of the
time, we don’t listen. Just like an engine light in your car. Most wait until
you’re left stranded on the side of the road cursing yourself for not taking
that damn orange light seriously. We were no different when racing. Dangers,
well, they didn’t exist to us.

A few months after Ryder’s death, a little too late I
thought, he was inducted into the National Midget Auto Racing Hall of Fame.

Too bad he wasn’t around to give his standard humble
response of, “Ah well, I’m not that good. I just know how to go fast.”

I heard those exact words from him a lot over the nearly
thirty years I had known Ryder.

Losing a fellow was never easy, losing a friend was
worse. I’d had to deal with a lot these days and every time it never got
easier.

Ryder’s death took the biggest hit on Casten actually. He
quit racing all together after that. Casten never really showed as much
interest as Axel did anyway but after Ryder, he just said it wasn’t fun for him
anymore. He never set foot in a race car again. I think part of the reason was
because the midget he’d been racing was one that Ryder owned. It didn’t feel
right to him anymore.

I respected his decision because like I said, if you’re
scared
...
you got no business strapping
into that car.

For the past few years, it seemed our entire family was
spread across the states and even into different countries for the holidays.
But that Christmas after all the loss we’d suffered, everyone was home.

This was both a good thing and a disaster.

Sway loved having everyone together at our place. I
couldn’t understand why it always had to occur at our house but I kept my mouth
shut when I saw how happy my wife was.

Christmas morning started simple enough. The kids opened
presents with us and I gave Sway her gift, alone.

For a while, I’d been thinking about what I would get a
woman who has absolutely everything she could ever want. With the help of my
mom, I found a picture of Sway and me when I won Knoxville Nationals during our
summer together in 1997. Sway had always been fond of the picture and told me
that was the night she knew she’d fallen in love with me. The picture was the
one they had used on the front page of the newspaper the next morning but from
slightly a different angle.

I was still sitting inside my sprint car, leaning toward
Sway who was leaning inside the car. Her arms were around my neck with one of
my gloved hands touching the side of her face as we kissed. Up until a couple
weeks ago, I’d never seen the picture.

My first thought was: Wow, look how young we were.

My second: She was just as beautiful twenty years later
and as she was that night.

Though my early years of racing were becoming vague, I
still remember that race and the feeling that washed over me when I saw her
waiting for me.

She says that’s the night she realized she loved me and I
think deep down that’s the night I realized what her being there for me meant.
I wouldn’t say I knew I loved her then, because I did love her but my
realization didn’t come until a few years later, having been too caught up in
racing to see anything past that. But I did love her back then.

Sway would never understand what that summer meant to me.
You could say it was just the summer I made a name for myself but back then, it
was more than that. We were all just a bunch of kids but you honestly couldn’t
tell any of us that.