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Authors: Judy Baer

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Chapter Eighteen

“A
untie Marlo, pet the ponies?” Brady pulled at the leg of her jeans, his eyes shining brightly up at her.

“Oh, I don’t think so, honey,” Jenny interjected smoothly. “We’re just here to
look
at the horses.”

Marlo smiled weakly at the little boy. “I think I can find a pony just your size.”

“Marlo!” Jenny said sharply. “You promised.”

“No riding, but we didn’t say anything about petting. Come on, Brady. Let’s go over here.” She took him to the area where a fat, shiny pony and two small, gentle-looking mares stood. “These are horses that live at Hammond Stables just to be petted, brushed and groomed,” Marlo explained. “Mr. Hammond bought them so that the brothers and sisters of the children who come to ride can brush them.”

“Bwush,” Brady demanded.

“Brush,” Jenny automatically corrected his pronunciation.

Marlo shot her a silencing look. She picked up a small curry comb and handed it to Brady. “Which pony do you want to comb?”

Without speaking, Brady headed for the fat black-and-white
pony. He showed none of the fear or trepidation Jenny had predicted he would. Under Marlo’s supervision, he gently stroked the animal’s round belly. When the pony turned its head to look at Brady the little boy looked back with wonder in his eyes.

Marlo turned to look at her sister. Tears were running down Jenny’s cheeks and her shoulders were shaking with sobs.

Before Marlo could decide what her next move should be, she felt a warm presence beside her. Jake had returned. With his arm, he nudged her toward her sister. “Go to her. She’s having a meltdown. I’ll take care of Brady.”

He turned to the child, who was now staring fearful and wide-eyed at his weeping mother. “Hey, buddy, let’s brush the horse over here. Her name is Matilda. We call her Mattie for short. Can you say Mattie?” With little fuss, Brady was enticed to apply his curry comb to Mattie’s hide. Soon he was giggling happily and listening to Jake spin stories about the marvelous creature Mattie was. The way Jake was praising the little horse, she might well have been able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and save every child in the universe from having to eat broccoli.

Jenny, in a very un-Jenny-like fashion, sat down on a nearby bench, looking morose. “What’s going on, sis?” Marlo asked. “It’s okay. Brady doesn’t have to ride. Look how much fun he’s having!”

Jake had picked up the small boy and was holding him so he could comb Mattie’s forelock. The horse stood placidly, obviously enjoying the attention. Jake looked as natural with the child in his arms as Brady’s own father might.

“I know. That’s why I’m crying.” Jenny hiccupped and blew her nose.

“What would you be doing if he was having a miserable time? Laughing?”

New tears welled in Jenny’s eyes. “I’d be angry with you. I’d
say, ‘I told you so, I told you that this was no place for my son.’ Don’t you see? That’s why I’m so upset!”

Marlo didn’t, but she held her tongue, waiting for Jenny to go on.

“I’ve always tried to do what I thought was best for Brady, to keep him out of situations I thought would be frightening or dangerous—like allowing him around horses.” Jenny’s eyes fixed on her smiling son. Brady had thrown one arm around Jake’s neck and was patting Mattie’s neck with his free hand. “Now look at him. I haven’t seen him smile like that in forever. All my protecting him, making sure the kids in my day care didn’t play rough around him, not letting him run because he might fall…” Jenny looked up at Marlo with a piteous expression.

Marlo had told her sister this a hundred times and in a hundred ways, but Jenny had always been impervious to suggestion and unyielding in her opinions about how her son should be raised. For the past five years no one, sometimes not even Jenny’s own husband, could make her see that Brady was tougher than she gave him credit for—a real little boy, not a porcelain facsimile.

“I’ve made a mess of things again, haven’t I?” Jenny said.

Something snapped inside Marlo. “Jenny, quit being so selfish! Get over yourself.”

Jenny gasped audibly. “What do you mean? I’d give my life for Brady!”

“You have already. But you’ve taken Brady’s life away in the process.”

Brady was now smattering kisses on Mattie’s forehead. Marlo had never seen him so animated. “Quit hanging on to the idea that any of this is your fault. Quit protecting him! Look at the wonderful things he is able to accomplish. I see children like Brady blossom every day. Get over it, Jenny. Allow Brady to have a life.”

Marlo hadn’t realized it, but she, too, had begun to cry. All
the love, concern, apprehension and tenderness she felt for her sister and her nephew swirled within her in a dizzying kaleidoscope of emotion.

“I don’t think I know how.” The soft words slipped through Jenny’s lips. “I’m not you, Marlo. I’m not brave and funny and daring. I’m cautious, timid and fearful—even more so after Brady was born.” She held her hands in tight fists, skin taut, knuckles white. “I don’t know how to let go.”

Silently Marlo took her sister’s hand in her own. One by one, she pried Jenny’s fingers open until her open palm lay flat against Marlo’s hand. “Like this.

“Every time you experience anxiety, open your palms and offer what you are holding to God. Imagine whatever it is you’re grappling with floating away. He’s waiting to catch it, Jenny.”

“How can I ‘let go,’ when Brady is an ever-present reminder?”

“Give it to God again—and again—and again. He’ll help you break the habit of guilt and of fear.”

“Since when are guilt and fear a ‘habit’?”

“What’s that Chinese proverb? ‘You cannot prevent the birds of worry and care from flying over your head, but you can stop them from building a nest in your hair.’ You may feel guilty or fearful, but you don’t have to allow that to inhabit your whole life.” Marlo squeezed her sister’s upturned hands. “Be brave for Brady, even if you can’t be for yourself.”

Jenny, tears still streaming down her face, gave a weak smile. “And you have a suggestion for the first thing I should be brave about, don’t you? You want me to let Brady ride.”

“You said Brady’s doctor thought it was okay. Ask him again. If he wants Brady to do it, then you can be brave.”

“Mommy cwying?” Brady, still in Jake’s arms, leaned out toward his mother as Jake carried him to Jenny.

“It’s okay, honey. I think these tears are turning into a happy
cry.” She scooped him out of Jake’s arms. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get you involved in anything emotional. As you can tell, Marlo is persistent when she puts her mind to something…fortunately.”

“If it is any comfort, I’ll do everything in my power to keep Brady safe if he does come here to ride,” Jake said gently. “I’ll handle the horse myself. I know every one of these animals like they were family. Marlo has turned into an excellent side-walker, too. I’m not sure Brady could fall off the horse even if he wanted to.”

“Then there is no time like the present,” Marlo agreed.

Jenny stared at her, aghast.

“She’s right, you know,” Jake said. “I have time. Let’s do it.” He took Jenny’s hand. “It will be fine. Really.”

Jenny was speechless, but when she didn’t protest, Jake took that as an assent.

As Jake saddled Mattie he talked to Brady, explaining each and every thing he was doing and what each piece of equipment was for. Jake even explained the use for Brady’s helmet, and how he, Marlo and Mattie would be taking care of the child every instant. “Some horses give a lot of lateral movement, while others give more rotation,” he told Jenny. “I think Mattie will be a good choice for Brady.”

Jenny seemed to be as comforted by Jake’s calm, soothing patter as was her son. When Jake lifted Brady into the saddle, however, Jenny looked away.

Brady, unlike his mother, showed no fear whatsoever. Instead, he giggled happily and commanded, “Go, Mattie!”

“Let’s get a little more help first, buddy. We need side-walkers for both sides of the horse. Marlo, you lead Mattie and I’ll be on the watch for Brady.”

Jenny stepped up, silently took Jake’s instruction and stepped close to the horse’s side.

Marlo moved out, leading Mattie at a snail’s pace. Brady’s body swayed a bit at first, but he soon caught on to the rhythmic gait and settled in for the ride. As they walked slowly around the round pen Brady squealed happily. The docile Mattie never even twitched an ear. “Look, Mommy, I’m fwying!”

“Yes, honey, you’re flying.” Jenny mopped at her eyes and blew her nose.

Two, three, four times around the ring they went. Jake and the horse were as patient as Job, Marlo observed. They’d be willing to do this for hours if it was what Brady wanted—and he probably did. It was Jenny she was worried about. Jenny was alternately crying and laughing until she had to be ready for an emotional washout.

“I think this is enough for today, honey,” she told Brady.

“I want to wide.”

“Then we’ll make an appointment for another day, okay? We don’t want Mattie to wear out, do we?”

The idea that the horse might be tired was motivation enough for compassionate Brady. Already bonded to this animal, he didn’t want to do anything to harm it. Jake tied Mattie and held out his arms to Brady, who slid happily into them. The child threw himself around Jake and gave him a big, noisy kiss on the cheek.

“You’ve been adopted into the family,” Marlo told Jake. “Brady only hugs and kisses very special people.”

“I’m honored.” Jake’s expression was one of delight. “This is exactly what I imagined happening when I decided to start the program. Here it is, my dream come true.”

Marlo walked her sister and Brady back to the car. Jenny touched Marlo’s cheek with the tip of her finger and, words escaping her, slid silently into the driver’s seat. As they drove off, Brady looked back to smile and wave, not at Marlo, but at the horse.

When they’d gone, Marlo turned to Jake. “I think this calls for a celebration.”

A slow smile spread over Jake’s features. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’m having a party this weekend.” She steeled herself to add, “Bring Sabrina.”

Jake looked taken aback. “I…ah…well, sure. We’d love to. At least
I
would. I’ll check with Sabrina. Thank you. Just tell me where and when.”

“My place, Saturday night. Come about seven. The dress is summer wear. Shorts, sleeveless tops, flip-flops, muscle shirts, bathing suits if you dare. We’ll be having appetizers first and dinner later. Steaks or ribs, so come hungry.”

“Shorts and flip-flops? Have you noticed the temperature lately, Marlo? Or the chill in the air? By the look of it, we have an early—and cold—fall.”

“I didn’t ask you to critique either the weather or the dress code,” she said cheerfully. “Are you coming or not?”

“I’ll be there for sure. We’ll see about Sabrina.”

Chapter Nineteen

H
ad Jake convinced Sabrina to attend the party?
Marlo wondered, as she wheeled a child’s wagon full of sand through the patio door and dumped it into a child’s plastic swimming pool on her living-room floor. Marlo propped a striped beach umbrella in the sand and tossed a brightly colored sand bucket and plastic shovel into the mix. Sabrina would probably arrive in a sequin-spangled sarong and Jimmy Choo sandals—if, that is, she believed Jake when he told her about the dress code for the party.

Lucy rolled a wheelbarrow filled with sand through the patio door and Marlo pointed to the other plastic pools in the room which could use a little more sand. Then she eyeballed the patio lights and paper lanterns strung around the room and on the deck outside. “Dad is practically salivating. He wants to come to this party so badly,” Lucy commented. “He’s heard about your summer parties for years.”

Lucy had borrowed her father’s old record player and every LP or single that had the words
summer, beach
or
love
in the title. She’d also found dozens of kooky beach movies from the sixties and a VHS player to play them on, which she’d managed to set up on continuous play in the basement.

“Invite him. He can be our DJ, as long as he promises not to do his Elvis impersonations. After all, I invited Jake and Sabrina.”

“You did
what?
You invited I’m-too-good-for-the-likes-of-you Sabrina to your home?”

“She’s part of Jake’s life.” It was one of the most difficult things she’d ever done, extending that invitation, but she knew it was the right thing to do. She refused to be cast in the role of the “other woman,” no matter how much she cared about Jake.

“Does Jake talk about marrying Sabrina?” Lucy asked.

“Everyone does it for him, his father especially, and Sabrina.”

“He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d be railroaded into anything.”

Marlo caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror she’d decorated with sea shells and starfish. Her short, dark hair stood on end, her cheeks were ruddy from exertion and her eyes were wide. She could be the poster child for wholesomeness, innocence and possibly naïveté.

Jake wasn’t being railroaded, she mused. Sabrina was perfection. Why would he be interested in her, a long-legged Kewpie doll, when Sabrina was available?

What’s more, a verse from I John 2 had been popping into her mind a lot lately:
By this we may be sure that we know Him, if we obey His commandment. Whoever says, “I abide in him,” ought to walk as He walked.
That was all she was trying to do, walk as Jesus walked and do what He would think was right. It wasn’t easy, but maybe God had plans for her that she couldn’t see until the time was right. It was like the passage in Corinthians about seeing through a glass darkly. Right now she was viewing her future through deeply tinted glass, but someday God would show her clearly what she was to do.

Satisfied that her kitchen was in order, Marlo went into the bedroom and put on a sleeveless sundress and a pair of strappy
heels that made her legs appear to go on forever. Glad that the sunless tanning lotion had done its job, she put on an ankle bracelet and a Hawaiian lei made of silk flowers.

When she was about to leave the room, she stopped to check her makeup in the dresser mirror. Stuck into one corner between the mirror and its frame was the piece of paper Jenny had given her the day of the Bridesmaids’ Luncheon. Next to it was a silly photo of her and Jake that Cammi had snapped with a disposable camera and given to her. Slowly Marlo reached for the note, the Cinderella List.

“Thoughtful, courteous, compassionate, faithful to God, hospitable, intuitive…” Those were the qualities of her Prince Charming that stood out now. Her perfect prince existed on the
inside
of a man, not the outside. Handsome didn’t matter; neither did wealth, or fame or prestige. Ironically, she’d found a prince who had it all when she met Jake. And the prince would never be hers.

She folded the paper and took down the photo of her and Jake mugging for the camera and put them both in the bottom drawer, out of sight, but not yet out of mind.

 

Marlo went to the patio door to check the outside thermometer. Thirty-eight degrees. A damp, gusty wind made the trees in the yard slant in one direction. All in all, a miserable night—cold, wet and windy. Perfect.

She turned up the thermostat to a balmy eighty-five degrees and straightened the wall hanging that proclaimed, “Be fishers of men. If you’ll catch them, He’ll clean them,” before answering the doorbell. Bridesmaid Club members Linda, Becky and Christine and their spouses hustled into the room in various kinds of beach attire under their thick jackets. Jenny and her husband arrived in his and hers grass skirts and colorful but ridiculous-looking sun hats.

“Angela called just as we were leaving. She’s come down with a terrible cold and she sends her regrets,” Jenny told Marlo. “I guess we’ll have to hear about the matrimonial extravaganza another day.” Marlo was too gracious to say she was relieved. Angela had been haunting the Divas kitchen for days, and even a caterer could talk about a wedding only so much.

After that, the stream of guests was steady until only Jake and Sabrina were missing. Lucy’s father fired up the music and a loud, off-key sing-along erupted.

“Do you think I should start grilling steaks and putting out the ribs?” Lucy wore a bikini over silk long johns. “I saw someone try to take a bite out of the mango hanging on the fake palm tree.”

This particular party had become an instant tradition five years ago, when, in the dead of winter, Marlo had decided to take advantage of her skewed sense of humor and reputation for doing things backward and have a beach party on the coldest day in February. This year she’d moved up the date, since the early cold snap had made all her friends grumpy. There was nothing like a party to cheer people up.

People, that was, other than poor, lovesick Bryan, who had come, but announced that he wasn’t staying long. Lonesome and not in a party mood, he sat under a beach umbrella in one of the kiddy pools, talking to her cousin Kelly on his cell.

“I guess Jake and Sabrina aren’t coming,” Marlo admitted ruefully. “You might as well heat the grills.”

Bobbing her head, Lucy trudged toward the patio. Marlo made a turn around the room to make sure everyone was enjoying a moment of summer on this miserable, wintry night. As she passed the thermostat, she bumped the temperature up to ninety.

She was near the front door when the doorbell rang. Marlo threw open the door and Jake and Sabrina entered on a gust of wind and cold, pelting rain.

“Welcome to the beach party! Take off your coats, kick off your shoes and walk in the sand,” she greeted them. “Lucy’s firing up the grill and we’ll be eating soon.”

The looks on Jake’s and Sabrina’s faces were worth the entire effort of the party, Marlo decided. Dumbstruck, they stared into the room before them. In one of the kiddy pools, someone had dumped water in order to have a miniature sand castle–building contest. The spouses of the Bridesmaid Club were lip-synching to old tunes. Even though the party guests were in shorts and T-shirts, the room was hot enough to cause sweat to pour down their faces. Others had sprawled out in the beach chairs Marlo had provided, and were tanning under the fake orange sun she’d lit from behind with a floodlight from her garage. Everyone, it appeared, was having a wonderful time.

“I guess you were telling me the truth when you said ‘dress for summer,’” Jake said.

“I never lie,” Marlo said cheerfully. “May I take your coats?”

Sabrina stood frozen, as a deer in headlights.

Jake helped her with her jacket. Beneath it was a strapless party dress. “I told her to dress for summer and she didn’t believe me. This was the best she would do.”

“You were actually serious?” Sabrina found her voice. “What
is
this?”

“My annual beach party. A taste of summer when we need it most. Would you like a fruit kabob?”

“Who on earth would think of this except you?” Jake appeared as amused as Sabrina was dumbstruck.

“Join the fun. There’s a game of plastic horseshoes going on in the basement, and someone was trying to find something to use as a net and a ball for minivolleyball. The only rules are to have fun, eat plenty and try to break as few things as possible.”

Before he could say more, Marlo excused herself to refill the
punch bowl. She couldn’t allow herself to dwell on any part of the situation with Jake and Sabrina. Besides, they’d been to plenty of parties. They should surely be able to navigate this one.

By midnight, many had made their exit, but those who remained made no signs of departing. The kitchen counter looked like a graveyard, covered in rib and steak bones. All the food was gone except for a bowl of tapioca pudding, which Marlo loved and everyone she knew hated. It was her way of ensuring that there would be leftovers in the morning.

Jake had moved easily in the crowd, introducing himself to everyone. Sabrina had stayed glued to his side, meeting people graciously, but continuing to look as if she’d been hit with a stun gun.

All the while, Marlo deftly managed to be where Jake was not, even though she was always perfectly aware of his whereabouts in the room. Finally, she put on a pair of orange sunglasses so that no one would see her gazing longingly at him.

As midnight neared, the frozen expression on Sabrina’s features relaxed somewhat. The woman was out of her element, but she was still game. Marlo gave Sabrina big points for not throwing a tantrum and insisting that Jake take her home immediately.

In fact, at the moment, Sabrina sat forlornly on the couch, with Jake nowhere in sight. The yelling coming from the basement, where the foosball table was located, hinted at where he might be.

Marlo edged in her direction. “Can I get you anything?” She lowered her voice. “I’ve got another key lime pie stashed away.”

“I’m fine, thanks.” Sabrina’s hands fluttered nervously. “The food was wonderful. You are an amazing cook.”

Marlo sat down on a chair across from Sabrina. “Well, considering what I do for a living, I’m glad to hear it.”

“I…I’ve never been to a party quite like this one.”

“No? I suppose not. I’ve done this for so long that a beach party when the temperature dips makes perfect sense to me.” Marlo liked this softer, more unsure Sabrina. “How’s Cammi? I didn’t stop by today because I’ve been preparing for the party.”

Sabrina’s expression brightened. “She’s told me how much she appreciates your visits.”

“How is Alfred?”

“Nervous. He’d move mountains to help Cammi, if he could.” Sabrina studied Marlo. “He likes you, you know.”

Marlo felt a softening in her chest. For the first time, she could say the same about Sabrina. “Hey, are you sure you don’t want any key lime pie?”

It was fascinating to see Sabrina relax and unwind as they sat at Marlo’s kitchen table. She was funny and charming and Marlo could see why Jake enjoyed spending time with her.

Jake found the two of them in the kitchen, eating directly out of the pie pan with soup spoons, and laughing as Marlo regaled Sabrina with stories about previous beach parties. His eyes widened as he took in the sight. “Do you have another fork, ladies?”

“In the drawer by the sink. There’s also tapioca pudding in the refrigerator, in case you’d rather have that,” Marlo offered idly. No one ever ate the tapioca.

“Tapioca? I haven’t had that in years. It used to be my favorite dessert.” Jake took a spoon from the drawer.

Wouldn’t you know it?
Marlo thought, as she watched Jake dish up a bowl of pudding. He was the one man she’d ever met who was enthusiastic about white goop with a rubbery texture, and he already belonged to someone else.

“Thanks for everything.” Jake and Sabrina put their jackets
on over their summer clothing as they prepared to leave. “It was…memorable.”

Marlo kept a smile cemented to her face until they’d disappeared into Jake’s car. Only then could she allow her true feelings to show.

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