Back at work, she tried to focus on what she was doing, but instead she kept asking herself questions for which she had no answers, the most daunting of which was how Richard was going to behave when she got home that evening. That is, if she did go home.
The quandary was despite Richard’s failings, Marie was positive he deeply cared about her. And she loved him. The thought of leaving him was disheartening. She felt committed to the relationship; to abandon it would mean she failed. She tried to keep their entire relationship in perspective. His positive traits were significant, but she wasn’t sure if they were enough to offset the negative ones.
The thought of going back to being alone, with no family, was disheartening. While it certainly wasn’t the norm to leave your husband, no matter how imperfect the marriage, Marie knew she would if things got bad enough. And she recognized what happened earlier in their home was a test.
At the end of her work day, Marie entered the break room where twenty of her co-workers were laughing and talking about the soon-to-be-born baby. She joined in the fun while the expectant mother opened presents. As soon as the party began to wind down, Marie snuck out the side door.
When she neared her car, she heard Esther trying to get her attention. She pretended not to hear.
“Marie, hold up a minute,” Esther yelled to her. “Great shower, don’t you think?”
Esther was too close to ignore. Marie turned around to face her. “Oh yes, of course it was. She got so many nice gifts. Well, see ya tomorrow.”
“Not so fast,” Esther said when she reached the car. “What’s wrong?” Esther was perceptive when it came to hidden emotions. She had had a boatload of them growing up with a womanizing father and alcoholic mother.
“Nothing, why?”
“Marie, something was bothering you the whole evening, I could tell. Do you want to talk?”
“Nothing is bothering me, Esther. Honestly. Look, I have to go. Have a nice evening, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Esther gave her a quizzical look. “Okay. Good night.”
Marie’s mind raced as she drove home. Richard was straddling two worlds, and the small questionable one about which Marie knew so little was quickly growing and possibly about to take over. Lost in conflicting thoughts, she approached her house, slowed down to pull in the driveway, and then changed her mind and kept driving.
After going around the block once, Marie drove the car by her house one more time and parked around the corner. She sat there while she thought about the situation and what she might find when she got home. He might not even be there, but if he was, he could either act as if nothing had ever happened, try to explain his actions, or even continue where he left off. She wished he wouldn’t be there, but that would just be postponing the inevitable. Part of her wanted to confront him on not only what happened earlier but what’s been going on for months. Another part of her just wanted it all to go away.
She put the car into drive, let out a big sigh, and drove to her house. She pulled her car into the driveway, but didn’t put it in the garage…just in case. By the time she reached the front door, her stomach was churning, and her chest was tight with fear.
Several scented candles flickered from various spots in the living room, creating an eerily romantic aura. A dozen red roses sat on the coffee table where the mysterious packages had once been. Two glasses and a chilled bottle of wine flanked the vase of flowers.
Richard entered the living room, his shoulders slumped and eyes a little wide, creating soft furrows in his forehead. He approached Marie, who was still clutching her purse. He put his arms gently around her. “Please don’t be mad at me, darling.”
He may as well have been hugging a totem pole. After a short awkward minute, Richard let go of his embrace but kept his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t know what came over me. I was so involved in business when you popped in that I lost control. My behavior was inexcusable.” He paused while he looked deep into her eyes. “Forgive me?”
Marie looked at him with cold unblinking eyes for a full five seconds. Then she backed out from beneath his touch and slowly walked upstairs to change out of her work clothes. When she emerged a few minutes later, she said in a calm, matter-of-fact manner, “Richard, I don’t know what happened here today, but I can tell you it had better
never
happen again.”
“Of course it won’t, baby. I promise. Now, come sit down with me. Let’s have some wine.”
Richard turned on the radio while the two of them sipped their drinks. Frankie Laine crooned in the background.
Put yourself in my place baby
Then you’ll know how much I really care
Marie sat on one end of the sofa and he on the other. After a fitting length of time, she broke the silence. “So exactly what kind of business transaction
was
that today…dear?” she asked with a quiet calm that she didn’t at all feel.
His words were quick and apparently well rehearsed. “Do you remember last year when Titan developed that new autoclave, and I tried to sell it to the hospitals? Well, it never worked right. Those two guys you saw here this afternoon and I said all along that the reason it didn’t was because of the consistency of the powder used to coat the inside of it. So we went to Phalen Pharmaceuticals, and they agreed to manufacture several different prototype powders. That’s what was in the packages. The three of us were just trying to decide how we were going to approach Titan to sell them our formulas. Well, each of us had a different opinion as to how to go about it, and just to have a little fun, we started placing bets on who had the best idea. And that’s all there was to it.”
Marie sat quietly, taking it all in, not so much as even blinking.
How stupid does he think I am to believe that cockamamie story?
“So why was Brian Murphy here?”
“It was his day off, and he just stopped over to chat when he saw I was home.”
She barely nodded while she bit the inside of her lip. “I see.” She paused long enough to make Richard squirm. “Well, it’s been a long day. I think I’ll go to bed.” She walked away from him towards the stairs. With no emotion she added, “Nice touch with the flowers…hon.”
Those moments that we knew so well
Deserve another try
Two people with the same sweet memories
Shouldn’t let love go by
Richard came to bed shortly afterward. He was silent for a moment and then said, “Please don’t hate me.” His voice was soft and sweet.
“I don’t hate you, Richard. I hate what you’ve become,” she said lying on her back looking up at the ceiling.
“I’d like for you to understand me…not judge me.”
“I’m trying, but it’s not easy.”
He sat up and looked down at her. She rolled over away from him so as not to have to look at his face. “Marie, you need to accept me for
all
of who I am.” She remained silent. “Look, what I do is my business, and you need to separate me the husband from me the businessman.” He stroked her shoulder. She withdrew from his touch. “The fact that it may not always be on the up and up is not important. What
is
important is that I do it for us, for our future together. Don’t lose sight of that, okay?”
She didn’t respond.
“It’s better you don’t know some things. Trust me on that?”
She remained silent.
As Marie tried to fall asleep that night, she thought about all the good times she and Richard had had when he was courting her, when he actually did do things just for them.
How could someone so sweet and so sensitive have such a malicious side to him?
Had there always been clues? Her mind wandered back to better times.
He liked surprising her, and the one he gave her shortly after they had started dating was one of the most memorable. It had been a warm overcast day, unseasonably warm for the end of September in Chicago. He picked her up in his Boattail convertible to go out for lunch and had put the top down for the ride.
“So where are we going?”
“That’s
a surprise.”
It was the first time she had seen him dressed so casual, first time without a tie. He wore a robin’s
egg
blue shirt underneath a beige cardigan sweater. His tanned skin and dark hair were a striking contrast to the pastel hue of his shirt.
“Feel how the car connects with the road?”
Not really.
“Mm-hm.”
“This is how a car ought to ride. Smooth but with conviction.”
“You’re driving away from the city.”
“I know,” he chuckled. “I
do
hope we don’t get lost!”
He talked about his latest sale as they drove. “It started out small, but in the end I sold twenty X-ray machines to twelve hospitals in three states.”
“So how does a small sale all of a sudden get big like that?”
“Oh, you meet people along the way and talk to them. This one grew because I met a guy whose brother-in-law is on the Board of Trustees of Wisconsin General Hospital at the University of Wisconsin. He put me in touch with him and all of a sudden I had four more leads.”
“That’s so interesting. So how did you meet this guy?”
“At Belmont.”
“Belmont, the race track?”
“Yep.”
“So you’re a betting man, huh?”
“Can’t get anywhere in life without being a betting man.”
“Hmm.”
WELCOME TO INDIANA the sign read.
“Just where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see.”
Soon they were driving through Gary, passing steel mills lining the mostly deserted streets. “You should drive through here on a weekday when all the mills are in full throttle. You can hardly breathe. They look rather lonely now, without the smoke billowing out of their stacks.”
“How much farther is it?”
“We’ll be there in another twenty minutes or so.” He winked at her. “You’re not nervous, are you? An almost complete stranger taking you across state lines and all.”
“I don’t know. Should I be?”
Richard laughed but kept his attention on the road. She studied his strong profile. He was five years her senior, but he gave the impression of being older.
“Well, let me ask you this. Do you take all your dates to wherever you’re taking me?”
“No, you’re the first,” he said without changing his expression.
“So where
do
you take other girls?”
“What other girls?”
“You know what I mean. Where do you take other girls you date?”
“I’m not dating anyone else.”
She dug in her heels. “Where did you take the
last
girl you dated?”
“I took her to see
Arsenic and Old Lace.”
That was a movie they had seen together.
“Richard, you know what I…”
Without any warning, he gunned the engine and didn’t let up until the speedometer reached one hundred miles an hour.
“Richard!”
“Yes?”
“You’re going too fast!” She could barely get the words out given the wind velocity.
“Yeah, isn’t it great?” He slowed down to the speed limit. “We’re almost there.” He turned down a narrow winding tree-lined side road, the trees so top heavy they formed a canopy over the road. The road straightened and revealed what appeared to Marie to be vast nothingness. He pulled the car off to the side of the road and put it in park.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
“Go where?”
“Out of the car, my dear. And into the trunk.”
Into the trunk?
She sat there for a long moment contemplating what to do when he reached her car door. There he stood, arms loaded with a blanket, picnic basket, and a bottle of wine. “Hey, can you give me a hand?”
They carried the items over a slight rise, past the Indiana Dunes State Park sign, toward the calm, unending lake. The sun was out but masked by a thin tier of clouds that caused a low layer of fog to hover over the water in the distance. He led her to a flat part of the sandy beach close to the trees. “How’s this?”
“Looks good to me.” She looked out over the water.
“The fog comes in on little cat feet,”
she quoted.
“And it sits looking over the harbor and city on silent haunches… and then moves on”
he said, not to be outdone.
“I’m impressed, Mr. Marchetti.”
They spread the blanket out on the sand and kneeled next to the picnic basket. “Are you ready?”
“Why? Is something going to jump out at me?”
“You’re very funny.”
He handed her one item at a time. Candle. Matches. Cork screw. Two wine glasses. “How about if I open the wine while you set the rest of things out?”
Marie took out the plates, napkins, and silverware and placed them on the blanket. Three containers remained in the picnic basket, each one wrapped in foil: fried chicken; a tomato, black olive, and cheese salad; and potato salad.