The Color Of Her Panties (17 page)

Read The Color Of Her Panties Online

Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

BOOK: The Color Of Her Panties
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Sammy ran away from the river.  He stopped at a tree with leaves as big as any member of their party.  They were glossy and looked slippery and tough.

“A toboggan tree!” Che exclaimed.  “We must pick leaves for ourselves and Sammy.”

They did so, carrying them back to the brink.

Sammy jumped onto his leaf, which then overbalanced and slid into the river.  The cat rode the leaf down across the rock face and into the channel.

Jenny jumped after him, riding her leaf.  Gwenny was next, and then Che.

They were all in the small river, sliding down.  It was fun, in its way, but scary, for they were moving very fast despite their lightness.  It was the current of the river that was carrying the leaves along at its own pace, not that of their bodies.  They clung to their leaves.

The river twisted around, seeking what seemed to be the most devious possible route.  It shot through a narrow channel, then paused in a brief pool, then set out again across another slanting stone face.  Then it leaped gleefully out into space.  “ooooo!” Gwenny cried with mixed joy and horror.  But the leaf landed gently on another slope, and continued down.

Suddenly the river curved and spread out.  The world seemed to be set on right angles.  Then Gwenny realized that they were at the bottom; it was the normal level land that seemed strange, after the long slide down the side.

They got off their floating leaves and waded to the bank of the river.

They were wet around the edges, but were safely and swiftly down.  Sammy had indeed known the way.

The base of the chasm was almost level here.  There was green grass and a number of bushes and even small trees.

There was also a beaten track down the center.  They knew what used that:  the Gap Dragon.

Indeed, as they spied the track they felt a shudder in the ground.  The dragon was coming!

“Get out your pass, Gwenny,“ Che reminded her.  “We don't want the dragon to get confused and eat us.”

Gwenny reached for her pocket-and stood appalled.

The pass was gone!  It must have fallen out during their wild ride down the slope.

“Oh, no!  “ Jenny said, looking at her and understanding her expression.

Then:  “Sammy, find the pass!”

The cat headed back the way they had come.  But he stopped at the base of the slope.  It was too steep for him to climb.  The pass must be somewhere up the side of the chasm-and they could not reach it.

Meanwhile the shuddering was intensifying.  Now they could feel a distinct whomping pattern to it.  The dragon was definitely bearing down on them.

“Oh, what are we going to do!” Gwenny cried, terrified.

“Sammy!“ Jenny called.  “Find the best place for us to hide from the dragon!”

The cat did something strange:  he hesitated.  He took a few steps toward Che, then away, seeming not to know where to go.  That suggested that there was no good place to hide from the dragon.  This was the bottom of the Gap, his hunting ground; it was to be expected that he would have everything covered.

A column of vapor showed above the bushes to the east.

That was the steam of the steamer!  In a moment the dragon himself would come into sight, and in another moment he would be upon them.

If there was no place to hide, what was their best course?

Was there any way for them to save themselves?  Gwenny cudgeled her mind, trying to think of something.  But her head was too jam-packed with fright to let any positive thoughts through.  She saw Jenny and Che similarly petrified.

The dragon appeared.  He was long, low, and sinuous, with six squat legs, vestigial wings, big teeth, and a lot of puffing steam.  His front set of legs would lift and jump forward, and then the middle set, and finally the end set, proceeding by rapid whomps, so that his motion resembled that of a racing caterpillar more than that of a serpent.

He was moving far too swiftly for them to outrun, however.

She saw Sammy standing there.  Too bad she couldn't ask him what they should do!  But the cat didn't solve problems, he just found things.

When they weren't hopelessly out of reach, like their safe-conduct pass.

The dragon turned to whomp straight toward them, his scales glistening green.  Jets of steam shot forward from his nostrils, singeing the foliage of the bushes on either side.  The three of them would be steamed and cooked before they ever got chomped.

Then half a thought squeezed through her mind, perhaps shoved from behind by the overload of fright thoughts.  “Sammy!” she cried.  “Find the best thing for us to do!”

The cat bounded toward Che Centaur and leaped onto his back, digging in his claws.  Che, startled out of his stasis, jumped forward-right toward the onrushing dragon.  He passed Gwenny and Jenny and came to a stop, petrified again.  His little wings fluttered pitifully.  Gwenny remembered his dream of flying; in the dream his wings had fleshed and feathered out, but in life they remained inadequate.  They were simply too small with too few flight feathers.  He could not fly away, even if he made himself light enough to float like a bubble in the air; the wings just weren't ready.

Could Sammy mean for Che to flick them all again with his tail, making them all air light so that they could jump too high for the dragon to get?  If so, it was already too late, for Che would be the first one chomped.  Anyway, unless there came a good wind, they would just drift back down to the ground where they jumped from, and the dragon would be waiting to snap them up.  There weren't even any good-sized trees here that they might hide in, out of reach of the dragon.  The chasm was a trap, sure enough.

The dragon whomped up to Che-and stopped.  His horrendously toothed mouth opened.  His tongue came up.  He licked the centaur on the face.

Then Gwenny caught on.  “He's a winged monster!” she cried.  “Even if he can't fly, he still has wings.  Just as you do. And no winged monster-”

“Will hurt me!” Che finished.  “How could I have forgotten!  “

The dragon eyed Gwenny.  He oriented his snout toward her.  “Tell him I'm your friend!” Gwenny cried.  “And Jenny too!  And Sammy!”

“They're my friends, Stanley,” Che said quickly.  “We are traveling together.  We had a safe-conduct pass from Ivy, but we lost it.”

The dragon nodded.  It was evident that he recognized Ivy's name.  Now it was all right.

Gwenny felt her knees turning to wet noodles.  She hoped they didn't look too bad.  She was glad that Sammy Cat had known what to do.  If Jenny had not come along, then neither would the cat have come, and then Gwenny herself might have been steamed and eaten before Stanley realized she was with Che.  That thought made her noodle knees turn to mush, which was even worse.  Steam had that effect.

Not only did the dragon not eat them, he turned out to be quite friendly, now that he knew they were all right.

Maybe he missed his years of growing up with Ivy, who by an odd coincidence had once been the same age that Gwenny and Jenny were now, fourteen.  In fact, by an almost unbelievable coincidence, she had also once been Che's age of seven.  So the dragon might have a fond memory or two left in his hot skull of young folk.  In fact, Gwenny caught glimpses of steamy daydreams he had, of cute little Ivy playing with him, enhancing his scales until they shone like mirrors, and kissing him on his ear.  An offshoot dream memory was of him losing an ear, a long time ago, to an ogre, but he had grown it back when he got rejuvenated.

Dragon ears, Gwenny knew, were very special things, with magical properties.  That was one reason dragons didn't like to lose them.

Stanley guided them to a place where a walkable path climbed up the north slope of the chasm.  There had been others, but the dragon had passed them by, perhaps knowing that they led only to caves or just petered out, getting tired long before reaching the top.  The dragon knew exactly which ones offered no hope of escape, of course, because he caught and steamed and ate any creatures who tried to flee on them.

“Thank you, Stanley,” Gwenny said as they were ready to part.  Then she did something daring and naughty:  she leaned down and kissed his ear, the way his memory daydream had shown Ivy doing.  By yet another unbelievable coincidence, a shy fly stung him at that very moment, and the dragon's scales blushed burning red.  Even his steam turned pinkish.

But he did not look unhappy.

They started up.  Sammy led the way, because he had been told to find the safest path, with Jenny following.

Then Gwenny, and Che bringing up the rear again.  That was because, as he explained, centaurs had better rears than other folk did.  Also, if one of the others slipped and fell, he would be better able to catch and hold that one, making her light so that they did not both go tumbling down into the chasm.  Che himself retained most of his full weight now, because it gave him better traction.

The path did try to trick them by sending off occasional offshoots that led either to cliff brinks or nowhere.  One offshoot started out nicer than the true path, but they could see how it then turned and tried to go straight up a cliff.

That was a mean-spirited path!  But Sammy didn't even think about being fooled; he pattered right on up the correct path every time.

It was a wearying climb, despite the way Che lightened them when they came to brief landings where his tail could reach them.  Then a cloud appeared and eyed them.

“Oh, no,” Gwenny breathed.  “I hope that isn't-”

“Fracto!“ Jenny finished, her dread echoing Gwenny's own.

“It isn't,” Che said.  “That's an ordinary cumulus humilis cloud.  They don't mean any harm to anyone.  They're just curious about landbound activities.”

“Fun loving?” Jenny asked.  “I'm not sure we'd like a cloud's idea of a joke.”

Che smiled.  “That's humilis, as in humility, not humorous.  No joke.”

Gwenny felt her knees softening again with relief.

“Hey, stiffen up your knees,” Jenny said warningly as she glanced back.

“They look like bread dough.”

“Noodle dough,” Gwenny said.

“Pasta,” Che corrected them.

“Past what?” Jenny asked.

“Past a bit of dough, but not beyond spaghetti,” he explained.

Gwenny concentrated, stiffening them, and managed to maintain her pace.

As they neared the top, the day was fading.  It was still bright above, but the depths of the Gap were in deepening shadow, so that they could no longer see the bottom.  Gwenny was glad they were going out of it instead of into it; it was gloomy, though she knew that there was no longer much danger down there for them.  Unless they fell.

She shuddered, and kept her eyes on the path ahead.

At last they emerged.  They walked a reasonable distance from the awesome brink, then dropped to the ground, feeling faint with relief.

“I'm glad I'm not adult,” Che said.  “Because then I would have had to face that without being afraid.”

“Actually, we may be adult,” Gwenny reminded him.

“We were inducted into the Adult Conspiracy, remember.”

Jenny laughed.  “That's like the Gap Chasm!  Deep and dark and wearisome, and not a lot down there once you see it.”

They all laughed, but there was too much truth in it to sustain the laugh for long.

Then they had Sammy find them the best place to camp for the night, and they dined on the wonderful assortment of pies that grew in this region.

They even found an old tent left by tent caterpillars; it made a perfect place to sleep, because it was silken throughout, with a layer on the ground to shield them from bugs, and silk hammocks hung from the branches of trees beside the tent.

So they slept in fairly good comfort, and they really needed that after their arduous day's trek.  Gwenny didn't see any of the dreams of the others, because she fell asleep as fast as they did and sank down almost as deep as the Gap Chasm.  In fact she probably dropped below the dream realm, because she didn't remember having any dreams.

In the morning they discovered that their tent was close to a village.

“That would be the Gap Village,” Che said, consulting his memory.  “I believe there is also a goblin village to the east, if you wish to-”

“No, I think not, thank you all the same,” Gwenny said quickly.  “It would be run by goblin men, and you know how they are.”

“Unfortunately I do, no offense.”

“But when Gwenny becomes chief, all that will change,” Jenny said brightly.  “Because they aren't so bad, when they have proper leadership.  In fact, Idiot, Moron, and Imbecile are sort of fun. Remember how they brought us tsoda popka, and we had a squirt fight?”

Gwenny had to smile.  “That was when joy came into my life, in the form of the two of you.  I must confess I am uneasy about returning to Goblin Mountain.” That was the understatement of the year!

“We are here to make you less uneasy,” Che said.

“Oh, you are doing it!” Gwenny exclaimed.  “Let me hug you!” And she hugged each of them in turn, just so glad to have them both with her.

“Meow,” Sammy said.

“You too!” Gwenny agreed.  She picked up the cat and hugged him carefully, and kissed his whiskers.

Then they wrapped up their business and proceeded to Gap Village.  It was a small one, and the folk did not seem to be unduly curious about them, though it was surely not every day that an elf, a goblin, and a winged centaur passed through.

They caught a path in the center of town, and took it north toward Goblin Mountain and the regions between.

But soon they reconsidered.  “Do we really want to pass through dragon country?” Gwenny inquired.  “Even if the path is enchanted to be safe, I'm not sure how far it extends in that direction.”

“We could cut across to the Sane Jaunts River,” Che suggested.  “And make another raft, and float down toward Goblin Mountain.”

Gwenny grimaced.  “We did not have exactly the best experience the last time we made a raft,” she said.

“But we can't get blown out to sea, on a river,” Jenny said.  “And it would allow us to travel while resting our legs.”

Gwenny looked down at her legs.  They were not turning into pasta at the moment, but the prospect of resting them was appealing.

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