The Comeback Kiss (32 page)

“
Tessa . ..”
He trailed off and
she could see the tension in his face. Didn
’
t make her feel any less stupid, though.

“
No, it
’
s no big deal,”
she said. “
Let
’
s go skating.”

She took a step toward the front door, but he caught her arm and stopped her.

“
You think this is easy for me, having
to shut this down? It
’
s killing me, Tess.”

“
Then here
’
s a thought. Don
’
t. Saves your life. Saves my dignity. Sounds like a win-win to me.”

He slowly released her arm. “
You
’
re drunk. You don
’
t really want this.”

“
Don
’
t tell me what I want,”
she said. “
I
’
m n
ot a child.”

“
If you knew...”
He stopped talking, shook his head, breathed in deep, and started again. “
If you knew all the facts, you wouldn
’
t want this.”

“
What?”
she said. “
If I knew you used to steal birds for a living?”

He blinked and eyebrows lifted i
n surprise. “
You know about that?”

“
Babs told me yesterday. Pffft.”
She waved her hand in the air in a dismissive gesture. “
Big whoop.”

Finn
’
s expression transitioned from surprise to anger, and yet he was still so cute. How did he do that?

“
You know what?
”
he said. “
This is the thing. Never trust a woman to keep a confidence.”

“
She also told me that you were responsible for half a million in donations to St. Jude
’
s last year.”

Finn
’
s face was unreadable. “
She did, huh?”

Tessa nodded. “
Yes. She also said yo
u were a good man. She said she
’
d trust you with everything she owned. She said
—”

He held up his hand to stop her. “
I get it.”

“
She said you saved her daughter
’
s life.”

“
Did she tell you that I was the one who put her daughter in danger in the first place?
”
he said, his voice hard. There
’
s a difference between being a hero and not being a total asshole, Tess. I
’
ll cop to one, but not the other.”

“
Why can
’
t you just accept that you might not be as worthless as you like to think?”

“
I
’
m not the one having tr
ouble accepting reality.”

“
What is that supposed to mean?”

“
You know what it means.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him in one swift motion, and her breathing quickened.

“
It means this. What happens to us when we
’
re together.”
He reached up
and brushed his thumb over her bottom lip. Tessa felt her skin grow hot, and her imagination was just about to take her to the very good place when he pulled his hand away.

Crap.

“
You
’
re letting all that confuse you. It doesn
’
t change the facts of who and
what I am. I
’
m not the kind of person you should have in your life, Tessa, for a million reasons, not the least of which is you keeping Izzy.”

Oh. God. Izzy. Mary Ellen Neeley. Crap.

“
Funny you should mention that, actually,”
she said, “
since it really doe
sn
’
t matter anymore.”

He released her arm slowly. “
Yes, it does. You just don
’
t care now because you
’
re drunk, but
—”

“
They
’
re gonna take Izzy away,”
she said, surprised when the words came out. The room went dead silent, and when she finally looked up, Fin
n was staring at her, his expression dark.

“
Who
’
s gonna take Izzy away?”
he asked.

“
Mary Ellen Neeley thinks that living with me is not in Izzy
’
s best interests. She came by this morning. She
—”

Tessa swallowed, fighting off the tears. She did not want to c
ry.

Finn reached out and touched her arm and his compassion sent a shocking wave of hurt through her. She pulled away from him.

“
Look,”
she said. “
My buzz is beginning to wear off and I don
’
t want to feel this.”

“
Feel what?”

“
This,”
she said, waving both h
ands by her face in a weak attempt to stave off the inevitable torrent to come. “
Izzy is everything, Finn. She
’
s my whole life. I don
’
t have a life without her.”

“
Hey,”
he said, his voice soft, “
sure you do.”

“
No. I don
’
t. And it
’
s okay. I
’
m not upset abou
t that. Everything I
’
ve given up, everything I didn
’
t do...”
She felt her breath catch in her chest as their eyes met. “
I
’
d give it all up again. She means that much to me. And if they take her away again...”

“
They
’
re not going to take her away.”

“
How do y
ou know? How can you tell me that?”

He shook his head and put the palm of his hand gently on her face.

“
They
’
re not going to take her away.”
His voice was rough and scratchy, and she couldn
’
t see his expression clearly through the tears suddenly welling in
her eyes.

“
I don
’
t want to feel this,”
she said. “
It
’
ll kill me, I swear it will.”

“
Shhhh,”
he said, pulling her into his arms. One arm held tight around her waist, and his other hand cradled her head. She rested the side of her face on his chest and clos
ed her eyes, letting the tears fall where they may.

“
I can
’
t do it,”
she said. “
I got through everything else but I can
’
t get through this.”

He kissed the top of her head, and she allowed herself to lean into him. She had more she wanted to say, but the so
bs were choking her, and she couldn
’
t get it all out. She couldn
’
t tell him how much she missed her mother, how much she wished her mother could be there to tell her what to do and how to take care of Izzy. She couldn
’
t tell him how many times she
’
d wante
d
to find him, just for the peace of mind of knowing he wasn
’
t dead in a ditch somewhere. She couldn
’
t tell him how much it meant to her that he was there, or how terrified she was of waking up one day and finding him gone again.

Instead, she just folded he
rself into his arms and cried until everything around her softened and went black.

Chapter Sixteen

Finn lowered Tessa onto her bed. She sniffled a little, then rolled onto her side without waking up. Finn let out a breath and sat on the bed next to her.
He unlaced his boots as quietly as he could, slipped them off, then slid into bed next to her, spooning her from behind, one arm draped over her waist and the other supporting his head as he watched her.

She hiccuped out a half sob. He shushed into her ea
r and gently kissed her face. Her eyes didn
’
t open, but she seemed to calm down a bit. He reached up and nudged her hair away from her face. Even all red and puffy-eyed, she was still the most beautiful thing he
’
d ever laid eyes on, and if he ever doubted
for a moment that he was beyond in love with her, he knew better now. His chest felt as if it were cracked right open, and he would have moved heaven and earth if he thought it would just make her smile.

As fate would have it, though, the only thing he cou
ld really do for her would be to go away. Even though he
’
d never gotten caught during his bird thieving days, the only employment he
’
d had in the last ten years was a part-time job at a pet shop in Manhattan. Everything else, even his jobs with Babs, were
all under the table. On paper, he was a loser and a freeloader and that was the last thing Tessa needed in her life.

He could stay a few more days, just long enough to put Izzy
’
s concerns about her mother
’
s death to rest, and then he
’
d have to go.

There wa
s just no other way.

He lowered his face down onto the pillow next to her and inhaled the scent of her. Her hand lazily came up over his, pulling his arm even tighter around her waist. He kissed her cheek, then settled in next to her, trying to live fully
in that moment for as long as it lasted.

***

Tessa opened her eyes to find herself in her bedroom, bright with sunlight. Disoriented, she blinked a few times before realizing it wasn
’
t morning.

She
’
d already had morning.

And, whoa, what a morning. Vague
images flew at her. Mary Ellen Neeley. The padfolio. The gin. Finn.

Finn.

“
Oh, God,”
she groaned, and put her hand over her eyes.

She
’
d thrown herself at Finn.

Better still, she
’
d thrown herself at Finn
and been shot down.

“
Oh,
God,”
she groaned again, wis
hing she could just pull the covers over her face and forget everything that happened.

But she couldn
’
t. She was an adult. She
’
d gotten drunk at ten o
’
clock in the morning, and whatever the consequences were for that kind of crap, she
’
d have to face them.

She rolled over in bed and looked at the spot where she thought Finn had been. Maybe she
’
d dreamed the part where he
’
d snuggled with her. Maybe he was on his way back to wherever he
’
d come from. Maybe she
’
d so thoroughly freaked him out that he caught the
first bus out of town.

She reached out and ran her fingers lazily over the space next to her, remembering how kind he
’
d been to her, even while shooting her down. She remembered the feel of him holding her together while she fell apart, safe in his arms. A
ll these years, the people in her life had been there for her and supported her and kept her sane, but no one had ever made her feel safe.

How did he do that?

The front door slammed downstairs, startling her.

Izzy.

She closed her eyes.
Izzy.
A stab of drea
d shot through her, and then she took a deep breath and pulled herself together. Izzy wasn
’
t lost yet. There was still a fight to be had, and goddamn if Mary Ellen Neeley and her freakin
’
padfolio weren
’
t going to get just that. She heard Izzy
’
s voice dow
n
stairs, followed by the rumble of Finn
’
s voice.