The Complete Burn for Burn Trilogy: Burn for Burn; Fire With Fire; Ashes to Ashes (27 page)

I could already picture it. A carnival theme party, with a ring
toss and a basketball free throw and fun foods like cotton candy and popcorn and maybe even funnel cakes. Our backyard was huge, so there’d be plenty of room. For a second I worried that a carnival theme was maybe too babyish for seventh grade, but then I reasoned that the boys would be excited about the games. They’d like showing off how many shots they could make in the free throw, and the girls would like the prizes. We ordered those on the Internet—stuffed animals and fruity lip balms for the girls, and baseball caps for the boys.

My dad cut holes in a piece of plywood, and then Aunt Bette and I painted an elephant and a giraffe and a monkey around them so people could stick their heads inside and take photos. We rented an old-time popcorn machine and a cotton candy spinner. Dad was going to grill hot dogs, and Mom would make her potato salad.

Even though everyone hated me now, if I threw a great party, it could change their minds about me.

I was sitting on the curb, staring down the street, waiting for my mom’s car to come back from the ferry with all the mainland kids she was picking up. They were supposed to come in on the three o’clock. But it was after four, which meant three boats had stopped at Jar Island already.

I had this terrible feeling in my stomach. No one was coming to my party. Not even Anne. I thought of my mom waiting at the docks, holding a sign we’d painted together. It said CIRCUS THIS WAY. All I knew was that I couldn’t be in the backyard with Aunt Bette and Dad anymore. They kept fiddling with the decorations and the games we’d already set up, to have something to do. And they offered a couple times for me to open the presents they’d bought me, as if that would make me feel better.

At around four thirty Reeve’s mom drove down our street. As soon as I saw him, I jumped up. I’d been casually bringing up my party to him for weeks, telling him about the kinds of games I planned to have, the prizes, the chocolate cake we were ordering from Milky Morning. I came up with the basketball free throw idea just for him, because I knew how much he liked basketball. I asked Dad to buy a hoop. He mounted it to the garage.

His mom parked the car. I could tell they were arguing. Eventually Reeve got out. He slammed the door really hard.

“Hey,” he said, sullenly. “Sorry I’m late. My mom had to drop my brothers off at a game first.”

“It’s okay!” I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the
house. I knew he didn’t want to be there. I knew his mom probably forced him, but I was so happy he came.

Aunt Bette and my dad were standing under the basketball hoop drinking coffee. As soon as they saw me and Reeve walking up the driveway, they sprang into action. Aunt Bette hit play on the stereo, and circus music filled the air. Dad grabbed the game tickets and tore off a fat strip for Reeve.

“So no one showed, huh?” Reeve wanted to know.

I didn’t answer. Instead I took Reeve up to the food table. “Are you hungry? We have hot dogs, cotton candy, popcorn. You can have whatever you want.”

Reeve sighed. “I guess I’ll have a hot dog.”

I fixed him one. “Do you like ketchup or mustard?” I asked him.

“Ketchup.”

At about that time my mom came back. Alone. She was frowning, but when she saw Reeve, she brightened. “Reeve, I’m so glad you could make it,” she said.

“Umm, you know. I think I heard on the radio just now that it’s raining on the mainland. I bet everyone at school thought the party was canceled,” he said. His cheeks were burning up.

I looked at him gratefully. “That’s got to be it, Mom.” And
then my eyes went to the box in his hand. I’d noticed it the second he’d come out of his mom’s car. A small white box tied with pink ribbon. It had to be for me.

“Here,” he said, shoving it toward me. “Happy Birthday.”

I started opening it right in front of him. I couldn’t wait. He watched me, peering over my shoulder instead of eating his hot dog.

He’d bought me a necklace, an enamel daisy with a yellow center and white petals. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I almost couldn’t get it on, because my hands were shaking so bad. Mom had to help me with the clasp.

He looked nervous. “Is it okay?”

“I love it,” I told him.

*    *    *

Despite everything that happened after, he was good to me that day. On that day, when I needed him the most, Reeve was my friend.

The necklace is shiny, not a bit of tarnish, even after all these years. As sad as it is, wearing it again makes me happy. As happy as I was when Reeve gave it to me on my twelfth birthday, once upon a time.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

LILLIA

R
ENNIE AND
I
ARE GETTING READY FOR THE DANCE AT
my house. It’s our tradition. My mom always lets us take over her and my dad’s bedroom. When she helped design our house, she made sure to give herself a huge master bathroom and an attached dressing area with a three-way mirror. She also had the electrician set up a bunch of different lighting settings—daytime, office, night—so we can make sure our hair and makeup look perfect.

My mom has tons and tons of amazing clothes, Chanel
and Dior and vintage Halston. Floor-length off-the-shoulder gowns, silky blouses that tie at the neck, tweed suits. Definitely not anything I’d ever wear to school, but my mom says she’s putting a padlock on the door once I turn twenty.

It’s stuffy in the room, with the blow-dryers and the curling irons heating up, so I go open the sliding glass door to the balcony. My mom and Ms. Holtz are on the patio below, having a glass of white wine, watching the sky turn pink as the sun sets over the water. Ms. Holtz lights up a cigarette. We don’t have any ashtrays, so my mom takes a tea light out of a glass candle holder she had sent from Italy, and lets Ms. Holtz use that. Ms. Holtz and my mom are definitely friendly, but I wouldn’t call them friends, exactly.

“Lillia!” Nadia calls out from the bathroom. “Can you please, please, please do my eyes?”

Nadia’s nervous because she has a date. A sophomore named James Melnic asked her. He’s short, but he seems nice enough. I asked Alex because he knows him from football, and he said he’s a good guy. I’m still going to keep my eye on them.

I tell Nadia to sit up on the counter. Then I do her eyes like mine with black eyeliner, but I make the line a bit thinner, since she’s only a freshman. I also use some lilac shadow on her, because
her dress is a light, almost silvery purple. It looks like it’s made up of one piece of ribbon, wrapped tight around her like a bandage.

“What about lipstick?” Nadia says as I give her a bit of blush.

“Just do gloss,” I tell her. Nadia pouts. “Lipstick will be too much,” I say, annoyed

She looks at my face. “What about the one
you’re
wearing?”

I bought a pale pink one, special for my dress. “Too much,” I repeat.

“Lil’s right, Nadia,” Rennie calls out from the dressing room. “You don’t want to look like a hooker.”

“Fine,” Nadia sighs, not entirely convinced, and she disappears into her bedroom.

I take a last look at my hair. I swept the front part across my forehead and twisted it into a low side bun. A few pieces feel loose, so I tuck in a couple more hair pins and spray everything down with hair spray. A touch of that pink lipstick, pink cheek, and black eyeliner. It’s a pale girly look, to compliment the starkness of my black dress, and to match the heels I bought in the palest shade of pink. I’ve been wearing them around the house in thick socks ever since I got them, in the hopes that I’ll break them in.

Rennie is fretting in front of the three-way mirror. She looks
great in her sequined dress, which she paired with a sparkly cuff bracelet that my mom lent her, and a bright red lip. Her hair isn’t done, though. Rennie keeps piling it on top of her head, and then letting it go, so it falls around her shoulders.

“Ren, we’d better get going,” I say. Everyone is meeting at Ashlin’s house for pictures.

“Shit,” she says. “I can’t decide if I should do up or down.” She’s nervous and blotchy. She lifts her arms up and fans her armpits. “Help me, Lil. Which do you think Reeve will like best?”

“Come here.”

Rennie flops into one of my mom’s stuffed chairs. I stand behind her and curl the ends of her hair with the big barrel curling iron. I want to ask her about Reeve, what she did or didn’t do with him after I left Ash’s, but I don’t. I just pin back the sides. “Pretty.”

Rennie gets up and looks at herself in the mirror. I’m standing behind her, looking too. I think it looks great with the dress, that there’s a touch of softness to counteract her sparkle and glitz. For a second I’m afraid she doesn’t like what I’ve done. But then I realize she’s not even looking at herself. She’s looking at me, my reflection behind her.

“Lil?” she says, spinning around to face me.

“What?” I say nervously.

Rennie leans forward and hugs me tightly. Then she peels herself away, looks me in the face, and says, “I feel like my whole life would have been different if we hadn’t become friends.” Her eyes glitter with tears.

“Ren,” I say, and then I can barely swallow, knowing what’s going to happen to her tonight. I tell myself Rennie will be a better person after this is over. It’ll be like how things went with Alex. We’ll all come out better on the other side.

The doorbell rings. Nadia screams for me to come downstairs. Rennie and I grab our shoes and our clutch purses and go see what’s up. Nadia’s taking a white box from the hands of a delivery man while Mom signs his clipboard.

“Hmm,” Mom says, and then turns and gives a secret smile to Ms. Holtz. “What could that be?”

Ms. Holtz smiles back, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

I open the card in the tiny white envelope.
For my two girls—have fun tonight. Love, Daddy.

Nadia tears open the box. I swear she’s an animal when it comes to presents. “Daddy sent us corsages!” Nadia screams, sliding hers onto her wrist. It’s a purple orchid, and it goes perfectly with her dress.

Rennie looks over my shoulder as I take mine out of the box and put it onto my wrist. Mine is a pale pink orchid. “That’s so pretty, Lil,” she says in a small voice. I can tell she’s jealous.

When I turn around, I see Nadia opening up my clutch. I lunge at her and scream, “Don’t go into my bag!”

Nadia’s mouth drops open. I literally rip it out of her hands and say, “I said, NO LIPSTICK!” My hands are shaking.

Nadia recoils. “Sorr-ee.”

Rennie gives me a funny look. “Ease up, Lil.”

My mom takes a picture of Nadia and me with our corsages on, and e-mails them to my dad. Then Nadia’s date comes to take her to her friend’s house. He brings her a corsage too, so now she’s wearing a corsage on each wrist. Of course Mom makes them pose on the stairs together. Nadia threads her arm through her date’s and smiles. In her heels they are the same height.

After they leave, Ms. Holtz and my mom drive us over to Ashlin’s in my mom’s car. The limo we rented is already there, parked out front.

PJ, Reeve, and Alex are standing together awkwardly, passing around PJ’s water bottle with vodka inside. They all have suits on. I think Reeve’s is the same one he wore to junior formal. I
can tell because it’s charcoal gray, and because the jacket is tight across his shoulders. PJ has on these weird plastic sunglasses he swears are cool, despite the fact that he bought them for $5.99 at Beachcombers. Alex is the only one who actually looks comfortable in his suit. It’s nice, a black jacket, his tie is gray, and his shoes are freshly shined. Alex goes to a lot of dress-up functions with his family. I know that because his mom’s always trying to invite my mom along.

Reeve’s mom is pinning Rennie’s corsage on. It’s a hot pink rose with baby’s breath. Rennie freaked out when Reeve gave it to her. She jumped up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. It’s not like he went to the florist shop and was, like,
This rose will match my date’s shoes,
or whatever. I’m sure his mom picked it out.

Ashlin looks beautiful in her dress. It’s short with an empire waist and a swingy skirt of rows of cream-colored silk, and it makes her look really tan. Her hair is twisted and pinned up, a few pieces in tiny braids, and her heels are strappy pale gold.

She’s going to make a great homecoming queen. I just hope Reeve doesn’t totally ruin the moment for her. Kat said a couple big drops of the E would do the trick, but maybe I’ll just do one. I don’t want him to throw up on her or something.

Ashlin’s mom directs us to the front steps of the house. As
we line up, I find myself next to Reeve. He looks at me for a quick second and then walks away and stands on the opposite side of the group, slinging his arm over Rennie. Everyone else shifts over to make room for them.

We take a few pictures like that. Then Rennie calls out, “Couples!”

I walk off the stairs, and she and Reeve cuddle together, his arms around her waist. She throws her head back, laughing at something he whispered into her ear.

Mrs. Lind jumps out with her camera and says, “Lillia! Go stand next to Alex.”