The Complete Dramatic Works (27 page)

WILLIE:
It.

WINNIE:
[
Turning
back
front,
joyful.
]
Oh you are going to talk to me today, this is going to be a happy day! [
Pause.
Joy
off.
]
Another happy day. [
Pause.
]
Ah well, where was I, my hair, yes, later on, I shall be thankful for it later on.
[
Pause.
]
I have my – [
raises
hands
to
hat
]
– yes, on, my hat on – [
lowers
hands
]
– I cannot take it off now. [
Pause.
]
To think there are times one cannot take off one’s hat, not if one’s life were at
stake. Times one cannot put it on, times one cannot take it off. [
Pause.
]
How often I have said, Put on your hat now, Winnie, there is nothing else for it,
take off your hat now, Winnie, like a good girl, it will do you good, and did not.
[
Pause.
]
Could not. [
Pause.
She
raises
hand,
frees
a
strand
of
hair
from
under
hat,
draws
it
towards
eye,
squints
at
it,
lets
it
go,
hand
down.
]
Golden you called it, that day, when the last guest was gone – [
hand
up
in
gesture
of
raising
a
glass
]
– to your golden …
may it never … [
voice
breaks
]
… may it never … [
Hand
down.
Head
down.
Pause.
Low.
]
That day. [
Pause.
Do.
] What day? [
Pause.
Head
up.
Normal
voice.
]
What now? [
Pause.
]
Words fail, there are times when even they fail. [
Turning
a
little
towards
 
WILLIE
.] Is that not so, Willie? [
Pause.
Turning
a
little
further.
]
Is not that so, Willie, that even words fail, at times? [
Pause.
Back
front.
]
What is one to do then, until they come again? Brush and comb the hair, if it has
not been done, or if there is some doubt, trim the nails if they are in need of trimming,
these things tide one over. [
Pause.
]
That is what I mean. [
Pause.
]
That is all I mean. [
Pause.
]
That is what I find so wonderful, that not a day goes by – [
smile
]
–
to speak in the old style – [
smile
off
]
– without some blessing – [
WILLIE
collapses
behind
slope,
his
head
disappears,
 
WINNIE
turns
towards
event
]
– in disguise. [
She
cranes
back
and
down.
]
Go back into your hole now, Willie, you’ve exposed yourself enough. [
Pause.
]
Do as I say, Willie, don’t lie sprawling there in this hellish sun, go back into
your hole. [
Pause.
]
Go on now, Willie, [
WILLIE
invisible
starts
crawling
left
towards
hole.
]
That’s the man. [
She
follows
his
progress
with
her
eyes.
]
Not head first, stupid, how are you going to turn? [
Pause.
]
That’s it … right round … now … back in. [
Pause.
]
Oh I know it is not easy, dear, crawling backwards, but it is rewarding in the end.
[
Pause.
]
You have left your vaseline behind. [
She
watches
as
he
crawls
back
for
vaseline.
]
The lid! [
She
watches
as
he
crawls
back
towards
hole.
Irritated.
]
Not head first, I tell you! [
Pause.
] More to the right. [
Pause.
]
The
right,
I said. [
Pause.
Irritated.
]
Keep your tail down, can’t you! [
Pause.
]
Now. [
Pause.
]
There! [
All
these
directions
loud.
Now
in
her
normal
voice,
still
turned
towards
him
.]
Can you hear me? [
Pause.
]
I beseech you, Willie, just yes or no, can you hear me, just yes or nothing.

[
Pause.
]

WILLIE:
Yes.

WINNIE:
[
Turning
front,
same
voice.
]
And now?

WILLIE:
[
Irritated.
]
Yes.

WINNIE:
[
Less
loud.
]
And now?

WILLIE:
[
More
irritated.
]
Yes.

WINNIE:
[
Still
less
loud.
]
And now? [
A
little
louder.
]
And now?

WILLIE:
[
Violently.
]
Yes!

WINNIE:
[
Same
voice.
]
Fear no more the heat o’ the sun.

[
Pause
.] Did you hear that?

WILLIE:
[
Irritated.
]
Yes.

WINNIE:
[
Same
voice.
]
What? [
Pause.
]
What?

WILLIE:
[
More
irritated.
]
Fear no more.

[
Pause.
]

WINNIE:
[
Same
voice.
]
No more what? [
Pause.
]
Fear no more what?

WILLIE:
[
Violently.
]
Fear no more!

WINNIE:
[
Normal
voice,
gabbled.
]
Bless you Willie I do appreciate your goodness I know what an effort it costs you,
now you may relax I shall not trouble you again unless I am obliged to, by that I
mean unless I come to the end of my own resources which is most unlikely, just to
know that in theory you can hear me even though in fact you don’t is all I need, just
to feel you there within earshot and conceivably on the qui vive is all I ask, not
to say anything I would not wish you to hear or liable to cause you pain, not to be
just babbling away on trust as it is were not knowing and something gnawing at me.
[
Pause
for
breath.
]
Doubt. [
Places
index
and
second
finger
on
heart
area,
moves
them
about,
brings
them
to
rest.
]
Here. [
Moves
them
slightly.
]
Abouts. [
Hand
away.
]
Oh no doubt the time will come when before I can utter a word I must make sure you
heard the one that went before and then no doubt another come another time when I
must learn to talk to myself a thing I could never bear to do such wilderness. [
Pause.
]
Or gaze before me with compressed lips. [
She
does
so.
]
All day long. [
Gaze
and
lips
again.
]
No. [
Smile.
]
No no. [
Smile
off
.]
There is of course the bag. [
Turns
towards
it.
]
There will always be the bag. [
Back
front.
]
Yes, I suppose so. [
Pause.
]
Even when you are gone, Willie. [
She
turns
a
little
towards
him.
]
You
are
going, Willie, aren’t you? [
Pause.
Louder.
]
You
will
be going soon, Willie, won’t you? [
Pause.
Louder.
]
Willie! [
Pause.
She
cranes
back
and
down
to
look
at
him.
]
So you have
taken off your straw, that is wise. [
Pause.
]
You do look snug, I must say, with your chin on your hands and the old blue eyes
like saucers in the shadows. [
Pause.
]
Can you see me from there I wonder, I still wonder. [
Pause.
]
No? [
Back
front.
]
Oh I know it does not follow when two are gathered together – [
faltering
]
–
in this way – [
normal
]
–
that because one sees the other the other sees the one, life has taught me that …
too. [
Pause.
]
Yes, life I suppose, there is no other word. [
She
turns
a
little
towards
him.
] Could you see me, Willie, do you think, from where you are, if you were to raise
your eyes in my direction? [
Turns
a
little
further
.]
Lift up your eyes to me, Willie, and tell me can you see me, do that for me, I’ll
lean back as far as I can. [
Does
so.
Pause.
]
No? [
Pause.
]
Well never mind. [
Turns
back
painfully
front.
]
The earth is very tight today, can it be I have put on flesh, I trust not. [
Pause.
Absently,
eyes
lowered.
]
The great heat possibly. [
Starts
to
pat
and
stroke
ground.
]
All things expanding, some more than others. [
Pause.
Patting
and
stroking.
]
Some less. [
Pause.
Do.
]
Oh I can well imagine what is passing through your mind, it is not enough to have
to listen to the woman, now I must look at her as well. [
Pause.
Do.
]
Well it is very understandable. [
Pause.
Do.
]
Most understandable. [
Pause.
Do.
]
One does not appear to be asking a great deal, indeed at times it would seem hardly
possible – [
voice
breaks,
falls
to
a
murmur
]
– to ask less – of a fellow-creature – to put it mildly – whereas actually – when
you think about it – look into your heart – see the other – what he needs – peace
– to be left in peace – then perhaps the moon – all this time – asking for the moon.
[
Pause.
Stroking
hand
suddenly
still.
Lively.
]
Oh I say, what have we here? [
Bending
head
to
ground,
incredulous.
]
Looks like life of some kind! [
Looks
for
spectacles,
puts
them
on,
bends
closer.
Pause.
]
An emmet! [
Recoils.
Shrill.
]
Willie, an emmet, a live emmet! [
Seizes
magnify
ing-glass,
bends
to
ground
again,
inspects
through
glass.
]
Where’s it gone? [
Inspects.
]
Ah! [
Follows
its
progress
through
grass.
]
Has like a little white ball in its arms. [
Follows
progress.
Hand
still.
Pause.
]
It’s gone in.
[
Continues
a
moment
to
gaze
at
spot
through
glass,
then
slowly
straightens
up,
lays
down
glass,
takes
off
spectacles
and
gazes
before
her,
spectacles
in
hand.
Finally.
]
Like a little white ball. [
Long
pause.
Gesture
to
lay
down
spectacles.
]

WILLIE:
Eggs.

WINNIE:
[
Arresting
gesture.
]
What?

[
Pause.
]

WILLIE:
Eggs. [
Pause.
Gesture
to
lay
down
glasses.
] Formication.

WINNIE:
[
Arresting gesture.
]
What?

[
Pause.
]

WILLIE:
Formication.

[
Pause.
She
lays
down
spectacles,
gazes
before
her.
Finally.
]

WINNIE:
[
Murmur.
]
God. [
Pause,
 
WILLIE
laughs
quietly.
After
a
moment
she
joins
in.
They
laugh
quietly
together,
 
WILLIE
stops.
She
laughs
on
a
moment
alone, 
WILLIE
joins
in.
They
laugh
together.
She
stops,
 
WILLIE
laughs
on
a
moment
alone.
He
stops.
Pause.
Normal
voice.
]
Ah well what a joy in any case to hear you laugh again, Willie, I was convinced I
never would, you never would. [
Pause.
]
I suppose some people might think us a trifle irreverent, but I doubt it. [
Pause.
]
How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little
jokes, particularly the poorer ones? [
Pause.
]
I think you would back me up there, Willie. [
Pause.
]
Or were we perhaps diverted by two quite different things? [
Pause.
]
Oh well, what does it matter, that is what I always say, so long as one … you know
… what is that wonderful line … laughing wild … something something laughing wild
amid severest woe. [
Pause.
]
And now? [
Long
pause.
]
Was I lovable once, Willie? [
Pause.
]
Was I ever lovable? [
Pause.
] Do not misunderstand my question, I am not asking you if you loved me, we know all
about that, I am asking you if you found me lovable – at one stage. [
Pause.
]
No? [
Pause.
] You can’t? [
Pause.
]
Well I admit it is a teaser. And you have done more than your bit already, for the
time being, just lie back now and relax, I shall not trouble you again unless I am
compelled to, just to know you are there
within hearing and conceivably on the semi-alert is … er … paradise enow. [
Pause.
]
The day is now well advanced. [
Smile
.]
To speak in the old style. [
Smile
off
.] And yet it is perhaps a little soon for my song. [
Pause.
]
To sing too soon is a great mistake, I find. [
Turning
towards
bag
.]
There is of course the bag. [
Looking
at
bag.
]
The bag. [
Back
front
.]
Could I enumerate its contents? [
Pause.
]
No. [
Pause.
]
Could I, if some kind person were to come along and ask, What all have you got in
that big black bag, Winnie? give an exhaustive answer? [
Pause
.]
No. [
Pause
.] The depths in particular, who knows what treasures. [
Pause
.]
What comforts. [
Turns
to
look
at
bag
.]
Yes, there is the bag. [
Back
front
.]
But something tells me, Do not overdo the bag, Winnie, make use of it of course,
let it help you … along, when stuck, by all means, but cast your mind forward, something
tells me, cast your mind forward, Winnie, to the time when words must fail – [
she
closes
eyes,
pause,
opens
eyes
]
–
and do not overdo the bag. [
Pause.
She
turns
to
look
at
bag
.]
Perhaps just one quick dip. [
She
turns
back
front,
closes
eyes,
throws
out
left
arm,
plunges
hand
in
bag
and
brings
out
revolver.
Disgusted.
]
You again! [
She
opens
eyes,
brings
revolver
front
and
contemplates
it.
She
weighs
it
in
her
palm.
]
You’d think the weight of this thing would bring it down among the … last rounds.
But no. It doesn’t. Ever uppermost, like Browning. [
Pause.
] Brownie … [
Turning
a
little
towards 
WILLIE
.] Remember Brownie, Willie? [
Pause.
]
Remember how you used to keep on at me to take it away from you? Take it away, Winnie,
take it away, before I put myself out of my misery. [
Back
front.
Derisive.
]
Your
misery! [
To
revolver.
]
Oh I suppose it’s a comfort to know you’re there, but I’m tired of you. [
Pause
.]
I’ll leave you out, that’s what I’ll do. [
She
lays
revolver
on
ground
to
her
right
.]
There, that’s your home from this day out. [
Smile
.]
The old style! [
Smile
off
.]
And now? [
Long
pause
.]
Is gravity what it was, Willie, I fancy not. [
Pause
.]
Yes, the feeling more and more that if I were not held – [
gesture
]
–
in this way, I would simply float up into the blue. [
Pause.
]
And that perhaps some day the earth will yield and let me go, the pull is so great,
yes,
crack all round me and let me out. [
Pause.
]
Don’t you ever have that feeling, Willie, of being sucked up? [
Pause.
] Don’t you have to cling on sometimes, Willie? [
Pause.
She
turns
a
little
towards
him.
]
Willie.