The Complete Dramatic Works (23 page)

CLOV:
The one you’ve been telling yourself all your … days.

HAMM:
Ah you mean my chronicle?

CLOV:
That’s the one.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
[
Angrily.
]
Keep going, can’t you, keep going!

CLOV:
You’ve got on with it, I hope.

HAMM:
[
Modestly.
]
Oh not very far, not very far. [
He
sighs.
] There are days like that, one isn’t inspired. [
Pause.
] Nothing you can do about it, just wait for it to come. [
Pause.
]
No forcing, no forcing, it’s fatal. [
Pause.
]
I’ve got on with it a little all the same. [
Pause.
]
Technique, you know. [
Pause.
Irritably.
]
I say I’ve got on with it a little all the same.

CLOV:
[
Admiringly.
]
Well I never! In spite of everything you were able to get on with it!

HAMM:
[
Modestly.
]
Oh not very far, you know, not very far, but nevertheless, better than nothing.

CLOV:
Better than nothing! Is it possible?

HAMM:
I’ll tell you how it goes. He comes crawling on his belly –

CLOV:
Who?

HAMM:
What?

CLOV:
Who do you mean, he?

HAMM:
Who do I mean! Yet another. 

CLOV:
Ah him! I wasn’t sure.

HAMM:
Crawling on his belly, whining for bread for his brat. He’s offered a job as gardener.
Before – [
CLOV
bursts
out
laughing.
]
What is there so funny about that?

CLOV:
A job as gardener!

HAMM:
Is that what tickles you?

CLOV:
It must be that.

HAMM:
It wouldn’t be the bread?

CLOV:
Or the brat.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
The whole thing is comical, I grant you that. What about having a good guffaw the
two of us together?

CLOV:
[
After
reflection.
]
I couldn’t guffaw again today.

HAMM:
[
After
reflection.
]
Nor I. [
Pause.
]
I continue then. Before accepting with gratitude he asks if he may have his little
boy with him.

CLOV:
What age?

HAMM:
Oh tiny.

CLOV:
He would have climbed the trees.

HAMM:
All the little odd jobs.

CLOV:
And then he would have grown up.

HAMM:
Very likely.

[
Pause.
]

CLOV:
Keep going, can’t you, keep going!

HAMM:
That’s all. I stopped there.

[
Pause.
]

CLOV:
Do you see how it goes on.

HAMM:
More or less.

CLOV:
Will it not soon be the end?

HAMM:
I’m afraid it will.

CLOV:
Pah! You’ll make up another.

HAMM:
I don’t know. [
Pause.
]
I feel rather drained. [
Pause.
] The prolonged creative effort. [
Pause.
]
If I could drag myself down to the sea! I’d make a pillow of sand for my head and
the tide would come.

CLOV:
There’s no more tide.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
Go and see is she dead.

[
CLOV
goes
to
bins,
raises
the
lid
of
 
NELL
’
s
,
stoops,
looks
into
it.
Pause.
]

CLOV:
Looks like it.

[
He
closes
the
lid,
straightens
up.
HAMM
raises
his
toque.
Pause.
He
puts
it
on
again.
]

HAMM:
[
With
his
hand
to
his
toque.
]
And Nagg?

[
CLOV
raises
lid
of
 
NAGG
’
s
bin,
stoops,
looks
into
it. Pause.
]

CLOV:
Doesn’t look like it.

[
He
closes
the
lid,
straightens
up.
]

HAMM:
[
Letting
go
his
toque.
] What’s he doing?

[
CLOV
raises
lid
of
 
NAGG
’
s
bin,
stoops,
looks
into
it.
Pause.
]

CLOV:
He’s crying.

[
He
closes
the
lid,
straightens
up.
]

HAMM:
Then he’s living. [
Pause.
]
Did you ever have an instant of happiness?

CLOV:
Not to my knowledge.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
Bring me under the window, [
CLOV
goes
towards
chair.
]
I want to feel the light on my face, [
CLOV
pushes
chair.
]
Do you remember, in the beginning, when you took me for a turn? You used to hold
the chair too high. At every step you nearly tipped me out. [
With
senile
quaver.
] Ah great fun, we had, the two of us, great fun! [
Gloomily.
] And then we got into the way of it. [
CLOV
stops
the
chair
under
window
right.
]
There already? [
Pause.
He
tilts
back
his
head.
]
Is it light?

CLOV:
It isn’t dark.

HAMM:
[
Angrily.
]
I’m asking you is it light?

CLOV:
Yes.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
The curtain isn’t closed?

CLOV:
No.

HAMM:
What window is it?

CLOV:
The earth.

HAMM:
I knew it! [
Angrily.
]
But there’s no light there! The other! [
CLOV
pushes
chair
towards
window
left.
]
The earth! [
CLOV
stops
the
chair
under
window
left,
 
HAMM
tilts
back
his
head.
]
That’s what I call light! [
Pause.
]
Feels like a ray of sunshine. [
Pause.
]
No?

CLOV:
No.

HAMM:
It isn’t a ray of sunshine I feel on my face?

CLOV:
No.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
Am I very white? [
Pause.
Angrily.
]
I’m asking you am I very white!

CLOV:
Not more so than usual.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
Open the window.

CLOV:
What for?

HAMM:
I want to hear the sea.

CLOV:
You wouldn’t hear it.

HAMM:
Even if you opened the window?

CLOV:
No.

HAMM:
Then it’s not worth while opening it?

CLOV:
No.

HAMM:
[
Violently.
] Then open it! [
CLOV
gets
up
on
the
ladder,
opens
the
window.
Pause.
]
Have you opened it? clov: Yes.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
You swear you’ve opened it?

CLOV:
Yes.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
Well …! [
Pause.
]
It must be very calm. [
Pause.
Violently.
]
I’m asking you is it very calm?

CLOV:
Yes.

HAMM:
It’s because there are no more navigators. [
Pause.
]
You haven’t much conversation all of a sudden. Do you not feel well?

CLOV:
I’m cold.

HAMM:
What month are we? [
Pause.
]
Close the window, we’re going back, [
CLOV
closes
the
window,
gets
down,
pushes
the
chair
back
to
its
place,
remains
standing
behind
it,
head
bowed.
]
Don’t stay there, you give me the shivers! [
CLOV
returns
to
his
place
beside
the
chair.
] Father! [
Pause.
Louder.
] Father! [
Pause.
] Go and see did he hear me.

[
CLOV
goes
to
 
NAGG
’
s
bin,
raises
the
lid,
stoops.
Unintelligible
words, 
CLOV
straightens
up.
]

CLOV:
Yes.

HAMM:
Both times?

[
CLOV
stoops.
As
before.
]

CLOV:
Once only.

HAMM:
The first time or the second?

[
CLOV
stoops.
As
before.
]

CLOV:
He doesn’t know.

HAMM:
It must have been the second.

CLOV:
We’ll never know.

[
He
closes
lid.
]

HAMM:
Is he still crying?

CLOV:
No.

HAMM:
The dead go fast. [
Pause.
]
What’s he doing?

CLOV:
Sucking his biscuit.

HAMM:
Life goes on. [
CLOV
returns
to
his
place
beside
the
chair.
]
Give me a rug, I’m freezing.

CLOV:
There are no more rugs.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
Kiss me. [
Pause.
]
Will you not kiss me?

CLOV:
No.

HAMM:
On the forehead.

CLOV:
I won’t kiss you anywhere.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
[
Holding
out
his
hand.
]
Give me your hand at least. [
Pause.
]
Will you not give me your hand?

CLOV:
I won’t touch you.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM:
Give me the dog. [
CLOV
looks
round
for
the
dog.
]
No!

CLOV:
Do you not want your dog?

HAMM:
No.

CLOV:
Then I’ll leave you.

HAMM:
[
Head
bowed,
absently.
]
That’s right.

[
CLOV
goes
to
door,
turns.
]

CLOV:
If I don’t kill that rat he’ll die.

HAMM:
[
As
before.
]
That’s right. [
Exit
 
CLOV
.
Pause.
]
Me to play. [
He
takes
out
his
handkerchief,
unfolds
it,
holds
it
spread
out
before
him.
]
We’re getting on. [
Pause.
]
You weep, and weep, for nothing, so as not to laugh, and little by little … you begin
to grieve. [
He
folds
the
handkerchief,
puts
it
back
in
his
pocket,
raises
his
head.
] All those I might have helped. [
Pause.
]
Helped! [
Pause.
] Saved. [
Pause.
]
Saved! [
Pause.
]
The place was crawling with them! [
Pause.
Violently.
]
Use your head, can’t you, use your head, you’re on earth, there’s no cure for that!
[
Pause.
]
Get out of here and love one another! Lick your neighbour as yourself! [
Pause.
Calmer.
]
When it wasn’t bread they wanted it was crumpets. [
Pause.
Violently.
]
Out of my sight and back to your petting parties! [
Pause.
]
All
that, all that! [
Pause.
]
Not even a real dog! [
Calmer.
]
The end is in the beginning and yet you go on. [
Pause.
]
Perhaps I could go on with my story, end it and begin another. [
Pause.
]
Perhaps I could throw myself out on the floor. [
He
pushes
himself
painfully
off
his
seat,
falls
back
again.
] Dig my nails into the cracks and drag myself forward with my fingers. [
Pause.
]
It will be the end and there I’ll be, wondering what can have brought it on and wondering
What can have … [
he
hesitates
]
… why it was so long coming. [
Pause.
]
There I’ll be, in the old refuge, alone against the silence and … [
he
hesitates
]
… the stillness. If I can hold my peace, and sit quiet, it will be all over with sound,
and motion, all over and done with. [
Pause.
]
I’ll have called my father and I’ll have called my … [
he
hesitates
]
…
my son. And even twice, or three times, in case they shouldn’t have heard me, the
first time, or the second. [
Pause.
]
I’ll say to myself, He’ll come back. [
Pause.
]
And then? [
Pause.
]
And then? [
Pause.
]
He couldn’t, he has gone too far. [
Pause.
]
And then? [
Pause.
Very
agitated.
]
All kinds of fantasies! That I’m being watched! A rat! Steps! Breath held and then
… [
he
breathes
out.
]
Then babble, babble, words, like the solitary child who turns himself into children,
two, three, so as to be together, and whisper together, in the dark. [
Pause
.] Moment upon moment, pattering down, like the millet grains of … [
he
hesitates
]
… that old Greek, and all life long you wait for that to mount up to a life. [
Pause.
He
opens
his
mouth
to
continue,
renounces.
]
Ah let’s get it over! [
He
whistles.
Enter
 
CLOV
with
alarm-clock.
He
halts
beside
the
chair.
]
What? Neither gone nor dead?