The Cost To Play (Slivers of Love) (2 page)

“Professor!” she exclaimed. She stuck her arm high in the air, as if her fingers could touch the ceiling.  When she received no response, she called him again stretching her arm even higher, “Professor! Professor!” She was reacting as a small child in need of a bathroom break, wiggling in the seat.  Slowly he looked up. First at the clock, then at Mary Elizabeth, whom he privately named
The Riddler
. As he made his way toward her work station, thoughts of freedom floated through his mind. Only three hours left in the work day.

“Yes, Ms. Jones? How goes your project?”  He looked over her shoulder at the computer monitor, visually perplexed at what he was seeing. 
Today’s assignment was to draw the
Popliteal Fossa
to include the nerves, but what he saw on screen closely resembled a diagram on how to steal cable. Stern, firm, and with some tempered resolution, he finally responded, “No, Ms. Jones. You are somewhat off in your drawing.  Please consult my instructions and begin again.” Mary Elizabeth opened her mouth to protest, but the look he gave her provided caution and did not elicit the reaction she wanted. She was aware that the professor wanted no part of her shenanigans.

Dr. Toshi Yamaguchi was one, if not the third best, medical illustrator in the country. In his fifth year as Associate Professor at Georgia Regents University at Augusta, he remained firm and detached, but highly proficient in teaching, writing, and publishing.  He was on the fast track to tenure. As a Yale graduate, he had many choices of what he wanted to do and where he wanted to teach. At the age of 30, his real dream was comics. In an ideal world, he would be on staff at Marvel as the lead artist for his own original designs and characters.

In this world, he had broken his wrist in a motorcycle accident, causing some damage to the nerves in his right hand.  His parents were broken hearted that he would never be able to hold a scalpel, which was fine by him, but it also limited his ability to hold charcoals, paint brushes, and colored pencils.  It wasn’t really such a disappointment to Toshi, since he had not truly wanted to be a doctor. In all honesty, he didn’t desire to be an academic either. Even though he had the letters, people called him doctor, and his parents were appeased.  Somewhat.  They now craved grandchildren.

It wasn’t about to happen.  He liked being single.  He loved the freedom to move about and spend his money as he saw fit.  The small student loans he had taken out for his education were paid off.  The down payment for his house was still in a bank account drawing interest and there was no one to nag him about where he was going this weekend, or why he was spending so much money on frivolous items so he could play dress up.

To Toshi Yamaguchi, fandom was about more than dressing up as your favorite hero.  Fandom was a way of life, but also an expensive hobby. His girlfriend Ai, often complains when he departs for conferences for several days, stating that he is going to go broke frolicking with his friends. Often he would joke with her about fandom, coming back with a quick retort, “it costs to play with the big boys.”

Ai reminds him weekly that it costs to play with a grown woman as well. In his mind, Ai was an unwanted expense and a distraction. The sex was mediocre, leaving her place in his space, dwindling in value. Toshi checked the clock again.  It was almost time. “Do not forget your homework assignments which are due on Tuesday.
Remember the upper and lower lateral and medial borders of the
Popliteal Fossa
are due in eAssignment and hard copy in color when you walk in the door.”

Mary Elizabeth’s hand flew up again, but Toshi ignored her. Many of his student surveys would come back, with comments that he appeared to be unfeeling.  That was untrue. He felt everything. Right now, the main emotion coursing through his body was disdain. Mary Elizabeth had a crush on him and used any means she could find to get his attention. He’d had it and he wanted her out the door. It was time for the weekend and he had a conference to get to as well as a Samurai suit to get packed. “Have a great weekend,” he told the students as they walked out the door.  He looked at Mary Elizabeth. “If you are thinking about how to complete the assignment, then you are thinking too much.  Draw, draw, and draw some more.” A quick closing of his MacBook and he was out the door.  He popped his head into his office and waved good bye to the office assistant, Ms. Banks, before heading to the parking garage.

Before he reached the car, he received a call from Ai. “Toshi, we need to talk.” Again, another distraction. He responded in a quick clipped tone, “Fine.  Meet me at 5 at the Soy Noodle House on Broad Street.”  He did not give her a chance to respond. He hung up and hurried home. Everything was ready to go, he just needed to load the car.  He was on his way to Columbia, South Carolina for Banzaicon. This was the first con where he was entering the costume competition.  The larger cons are intimidating to some people and even more so to Toshi as an academic, but at this con he was ready to take on the challenge. He had never been to a smaller conference and was excited to debut his new Silver Samurai costume.

In his heart, at each conference he attended, he hoped to find a friend, or someone who understood him. Someone who would appreciate the craftsmanship of his homemade suit. He knew that Ai, was never going to be that person.

Toshi arrived at the Soy Noodle House at 4:50 and picked a table in the corner close the window, but also close to the door.  In his mind, this conversation was going to be short.  Ai arrived five minutes later, still wearing her work clothing and lab coat.  At five foot seven with shiny black hair, a perfect set of teeth and a warm smile, Toshi was filled with regret that he could not find it in himself to love her the way she deserved to be loved.  Ai Tomita was a great dentist who was loved by all of her patients, anyone who came into contact with her, and others who thrived just being in her light.  Yet for Toshi, he felt dim whenever he was with her; further playing into the irony of their relationship. It was more troubling to him that her name meant “love”. For him, he could only get as far as a cordial fondness for her. She whined incessantly about him being cold and unfeeling, but he did not know how to express to her that he had strong feelings about almost everything else. As she walked up to the door, his heart should have skipped a beat to see her approaching, instead what he felt bordered on apathy.

He rose to greet Ai, helping her with her chair, before reseating himself.  He had already ordered a pot of hot tea. She poured him a fresh cup and one for herself.  There it was. That sigh.  It was a sound that curled his toes inside his shoes.  A sound of disappointment and angst in one exhalation, followed by a cluck of her tongue and a nibble on her bottom lip. Then came the condescending words that grabbed a man by his balls and shook him to his core. The private nickname he had given her was
Ball Buster
.  “Toshi, I was hoping that this weekend you would change your mind about the
play thing
in Columbia and go with me to Atlanta, to be with our friends.”

Ai’s condescending attitude had rubbed him the wrong way, especially the way she said
play thing
. He wondered how much it would hurt her feelings if she knew he felt pretty much the same about her role in his life.  At this point, Toshi had already resigned himself to be free, which made him fail to speak his mind. “I was hoping you would change your mind and come with me.”

Ai sipped at her tea, “I am sorry, but I must say this.  You are going to have to decide Toshi.  Either we will have a life together, or you can continue to play your dress up superhero games.”

“Fine,” he said, as he returned his tea cup to its saucer and rose to leave.

She was shocked. “So does this mean you are coming to Atlanta with me?”  He rested his hand upon her shoulder, giving her a saddened look.

“No, it means that I am headed to Columbia to do my
play thing
.”

Ai’s mouth was moving but no words were coming out. Toshi leaned forward, taking her chin into his hand, while pushing the flailing jaws together. “Let me help you Ai.  It means that I am not choosing you.”

She stared at him with lips now taut. He made an attempt to soften the blow. “I like you enough to let you go so that you can be with someone else, who can be all the things you want and need in a husband.” He lowered his head and placed a light kiss upon her cheek. He was going to be late to the ball if he didn’t get a move on.

Before Ai could say anything to him, he stood in front of the window and took out his cell phone. She watched his practiced fingers move across the screen. She knew he had turned it off for the weekend. It was one of the many traits that bugged her to no end about Toshi, but indecisiveness was not one of them.  Once he made up his mind that was the end.

Toshi Yamaguchi had just dumped her.  When he had to make the choice between dressing up as a crime fighting superhero and drawing comics, or being with her, he opted to be the super hero. In her mind, his actions were villainous. He had just made a down payment on a new enemy and she was not going to let this go lightly. There would be no way to explain to her parents how she had managed to run off another potential husband.

At 4:00 pm on Friday afternoon, Toshi dressed as Gambit from the X-Men and headed downstairs to the hotel lobby to mix and mingle with the other conference attendees.  Many con junkies came early to meet the prettiest ladies and maybe score a conference hook up. This had only happened twice for him, but he was single again, so his mind was open to the possibilities. Slipping into the black seamless pants, and picking up a deck of cards, he held up an ace of spades to any woman who caught his eye. Thus far, there had been only two.  So many of these attendees were very young and if any reminded him of a student, he shied away.

Vendors had set up earlier in the afternoon.  At such a small con, there weren’t many writers, artists, or designers present, but Toshi had been tapped to teach two of the classes on Saturday. One in the morning and the other in the afternoon. He was looking forward to it. As he passed by the vendor room, he nearly kept walking but was halted by a vision of delightfulness bent over into a bin of buttons and
tchotchkes. In his mind, he hoped it was a woman. The purple Lycra pants, black hair, and a glimpse at side boob said female. It would be most uncomfortable for him if she were not.  Feeling confident, he leaned down and whispered close to her ear, “that has to be the most perfect ass I have ever seen.”

The princess with the perfect posterior turned slowly, raised her body to full height, and faced Toshi with a look of disgust, “you do realize you said that out loud, right?”

The directness of her tone made Toshi step back.  He was also surprised to see that she was a black woman, with a whole lot of attitude.  The heels she wore gave her an additional few inches in height, but he imagined her in stocking feet to stand only at five feet maybe four inches.  She had full lips and deep, wide set brown eyes that looked like pools of liquid milk chocolate. She had a gap in her teeth and the cutest nose he had ever seen on any woman.  Initially, he had thought the hair to be a wig, but as he stared at her, it did not take long to understand it was actually her hair.

“I meant to say it loud enough for you to hear me,” he added with a cockiness that was unlike him. Being dressed as Gambit, he felt stronger, more powerful, and far more daring than he should.  “At least I didn’t ask you to sit it in my lap.” He stood with his legs shoulder width apart, his arms folded across his midriff, calling her out. By making such a bold move, Toshi also noticed that his heart rate had increased.

Toshi thought she looked extremely hot dressed as Bling, and much like the comic book character, attitude and angst radiated from her. Jayne was staring at the costumed man, but it was unclear if behind the mask he was Japanese or Chinese. What was evident was the man was arrogant and thought she was an easy mark.  She moved closer to him, bringing a smaller smile to his face as she extended her index finger, wiggling it, beckoning him to come closer. “I like the costume Gambit and I like how you decided to take a gamble, but I have to let you know something very important.” She paused to drive home the words she was going to hit him with, “but….”

Toshi leaned closer to hear what she had to say. He placed his hand upon his chest in mock chivalry, but it was really an effort to quell the rapid beating of his heart.  She smiled as she delivered the words, “you are an asshole.”

He reacted as if he had been slapped.  She pushed him to the side and walked passed him heading into the conference registration area. He watched her sashay away with more than a casual interest. The initial assessment had not changed. That was still the most perfect ass he had ever seen in his life, but the woman who owned it, was a handful. He found himself with a very wide grin that harbored a very playful thought.
That ass was a perfect handful as well
.

Toshi felt stimulated by her.  Her words had hurt his feelings. That was something that had never happened before and he did not like the idea of her thinking of him as an asshole. He called after her. “There you go again, just walking away from the team.”

The lady stopped dead in her tracks.  Giving just enough of a turn. “I was never truly a part of the team.”

She walked away.  The faint scent of her perfume still lingered in the air.  It was mixed with whatever she used on her hair.  Toshi’s body reacted. Emotions flooded through him and confusion was knocking at the chunks of blockades that had grown into his cerebral cortex.  He had slept with a black woman before, actually, all races of women, but never really considered it anything other than a physical release. Yet that creamy skinned vixen, moved him. For the first time in several years, he felt something stirring him up.

This was going to be a great weekend.

Jayne was an artist and a very good one, but there were two things Jayne was not; easy and easy going. Comic books and painting were her first love, cosplaying was her second, with costume designing coming in a close third. Men were something she had little time for, although her body frequently reminded her of the important role they played in the life of a woman. More so if she planned to procreate. However, children were nowhere on her list of things to get done in her lifetime.  Her experience with men had been limited, with only one serious sexual partner to her credit, whom she seldom spoke of nor had many fond memories.  Alex had been the first man she been intimate with. Time was moving along at such a clip, that there was little time left to worry about the insignificance of a warm body next to her in bed.  Although most conferences served as hookups for the lonely and disenfranchised
, for her, this conference was her opportunity to display her newest anime outfit, make a few contacts, and hopefully have a remote chance of winning a prize.

The insulting man in the vendor shop had been just another testosterone filled moron who wanted to get into her pants before getting into her head.  Her eyes grew wide at the mere thought of the stories she could tell about the misunderstandings from men who wanted to be a part of her world, but really did not understand what she was trying to accomplish. Jayne wanted to be a costume designer and design an original comic book character.

She lived art.  She drank art.  In her free time, she breathed comics and she knew this year was going to be her swan son
g
.
  This year she was going to debut her comic book even if she had to self-publish it on Kindle or Blurb. The work was good.  The script was even better.  The art work was high caliber, but it was lacking something.  She could not put her finger on it, but there was still some time to figure out the defunct.

At 28 years old, Jayne had scored her job with Cawley Public Relations after an internship her senior year in art school. She had not planned to stay with the company for five years, but it was a good fit.  Moving back home had not been an easy decision, but her Grammy was getting up in age and the break up with Alex had nearly cost her the small amount of sanity that was left over after sketching and scribbling fictional characters.  Occasionally, she would make it to a con and get to dress up as one of her favorite characters as well.

Cosplaying to her was a step beyond
LARPing
and far more fun.  Cosplay was a great way for costume designers to get together and show off their craft.  The conferences allowed other comic book, fantasy, and science fiction lovers to get together and play games.  To her, there was a big difference between cosplaying and LARPing. LARPing is live action role-playing, where the characters actually create scenarios and reenact scenes.  That was just a bit too geeky for Jayne’s taste. However, getting a chance to don a costume and become the character, changed the way she felt about herself. She loved how the costumes made her feel. In costume, she was powerful and pretty.

Commanding.  Admired. Loved.

None of the things she exhibited in real life.  In real life, she was a petite weird black woman, with crazy hair, a gap in her teeth and dreams that men did not understand.  Even her mother didn’t understand her.  She felt at times that her friends were humoring her when they listened to her stories.  Eventually, she had stopped sharing her ideas. None of what she said was coming to fruition, so it was all just a pipe dream.  Or so it had been.  This weekend, she was going to change her fate.  Winning this costume contest was going to change her storyline.  This was going to move her dream forward.

Something made her come to a stop. Besides the several people wanting to take photos with her, she felt eyes boring into her back.  Slowly she turned around and spotted the Gambit dude still watching her.  Camera flashes were going off as she posed with a few children, two men, and the last one she took, she posed in a fighting stance.  The shock she felt when she realized she was posing with Gambit was almost too much.  The charge between the two of them was palpable.

A small crowd began to gather as Gambit slid into another pose. Not to be outdone, she altered her stance to a second pose matching him.  The crowd began to chant as Gambit pulled playing cards from his pockets and sent them flying into crowd. In a flash, he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her close, segueing into a third pose that caused the crowd to go mad. He held her close with his hands in the small of her back.  She could feel the power of his thighs pressing against her own while the male part of him pressed to her delicate part as he hoisted her thigh to ensure she felt his enthusiasm. The kids were all smiling. The flashes from the cameras had nearly blinded her, but she got a grip on herself.  Without making a scene, Jayne pulled away, bowed to the audience, and kowtowed to Gambit, making eye contact with him while mouthing the words, “asshole.”

She rounded the corner with Toshi on her heels, but the throng of people closed in on him wanting more pictures. He would not be able to get to her in time and he felt antsy
, charged up, excited and ready for…….whatever. He wasn’t sure. Toshi knew that whatever it was, it included that woman.

Jayne rounded the corner, out of breath and full of conflicted emotions.  When Gambit took her hand, the sparks that flew up her arm were electric. The man was a pig to even pull her in close like that, so she could feel the pure maleness of his body. It was offensive!  Yet, she had never experienced such an intense feeling with anyone.