The Darkness of Perfection (2 page)

David’s stature was unassuming: average height, black hair, hazel eyes. There was nothing special that stood out about him, which made him perfect for this life. He blended in like a piece of furniture. His whole appearance was nonthreatening until his opponent dropped their guard and it was too late to run.

Then he would finally show his true nature and attack. I’d spent the last seven years in constant fear of his violent mood swings.

I wish I’d known there was more to life than I’d been led to believe. There were no expectations beyond those taught to me by the men who ruled my world. Women were taught that our sole purpose was to keep a man happy in whatever capacity they demanded, and I was prepped for this life from the time I was old enough to reach the stove and push a vacuum cleaner on my own. I hadn’t even known the term “white slavery” when I was given to my husband. It was just the way life was. I believed the propaganda that “all men are created equal and women had no rights.” The only women I knew were just like me, bought or given to a man as reward for going above and beyond in the Harrison’s empire.

It wasn’t until the death of a dear friend that I began to question there was something inherently wrong with my life. My husband’s actions confirmed it.

My parents were uneducated and completely dependent on the Harrisons for the roof over our head and the food on our table. Father managed the grounds of their country estate while my mother cleaned their mansion. I often saw David and Richard in the distance when I would bring my father lunch or help my mother clean in preparation for one the Harrisons’ grand affairs. They were in their twenties and I was still a teenager and just another servant. David spent a couple of years in prison after he took the fall for a drug bust at Mr. Harrison’s order, to test his loyalty to the family. When he was released I was given to David for his sacrifice. I was only fifteen. Jayden was born a year later.

David always thought he’d stand beside his friend and run the Harrisons’ empire as his right hand.

Instead, upon the senior Mr. Harrison’s untimely death, Richard elevated someone else to that position and David remained a ‘grunt man’, never rising to the status he’d always dreamed of. His envy and resentment grew over the years, and what I hadn’t realized was that he’d found another way.

We’d been invited to spend the weekend at the Harrisons’ country home. There was a party for their youngest son the weekend before that we’d been unable to attend because Jayden had the flu. David was livid that she’d gotten sick, but Richard extended the invitation to the following weekend instead.

Jayden had just celebrated her fifth birthday. What David failed to tell me was that he would also be delivering on the deal he made five years earlier. That bastard traded our daughter for his dream.

I think I surprised everyone by fighting. I’d never once stood up to my husband, or any man for that matter, but I would for my child. I bit, slapped, kicked, and threatened, all the while screaming for Jayden. In the end I was beaten unconscious and when I woke she was gone.

Five years of raising and loving my daughter to have her snatched from my arms nearly destroyed me.

I don’t know how long I spent locked away in isolation before David let me out again. When he did, there was nothing left to show she’d ever been born. He’d erased her from our life, but I plotted and planned to find a way to rescue Jayden while fantasizing of all the horrible ways my husband and Richard could die.

As a woman trapped in this life, I had very little recourse or allies. I didn’t trust the police because I had no way of knowing who was honest and who worked with them. Richard Harrison was a very powerful man and had many cops on his payroll. My only hope was to find some opening to allow me to see my child and take her from them. One year, four months, two weeks, three days, seven hours and twelve minutes. That’s how long it took to finally see my child again. They had already begun brainwashing her. She wouldn’t look at me and clung to that boy any time I came near her. That horrible boy, the one she thought of as her friend, treated her like a pet. She followed him around like a lost puppy, performing ‘tricks’ for his amusement.

Her once bright, inquisitive eyes had dimmed and were wide with fear. I stifled a cry as I thought of it, not wanting Jayden to wake up and see me crying.

Then, in the midst of her nightmare, God had given my baby an angel to watch over her, who did her best to keep my memory alive for Jayden and remind her how much I loved her. An angel who helped us escape.

I took my eyes off the road to look at my daughter again as I brushed her hair from her innocent face.

She would maintain her innocence, never knowing the depravity she’d escaped, and I’d do everything in my power to help her forget what went on in that house, and always protect her.

I turned to the road again as something caught the corner of my eye. I screamed and quickly pressed on the brake, causing the tires to hydroplane on the wet road. The deer darted in front of us and I turned the wheel, frantically trying to stop spinning but hitting the deer in the process as the car careened off the road and down the embankment at an angle. It flipped twice before there was the sickening crunch of twisted metal and Jayden’s screams. Then the car came to a shuddering halt against a tree.

I don’t know how long I was unconscious before I heard someone shout that help was coming while they beat against the doors and windows, trying to save us. It took a moment for me to comprehend the gravity of our situation, suddenly realizing I couldn’t take a breath or move my legs or left arm. I felt something warm and wet on my face as I strained to focus through a red haze that clouded my vision. This car had none of the safety features of the BMW I’d traded in; there were no airbags to save me from the steering wheel now crushing my chest.

I tried to reach for Jayden crying beside me, but was held fast by the steering wheel. “Jay-” I said, swallowing the blood pooling in my mouth. “Jayden, whe-where do you hurt, baby?”

I feared the answer, while some small part of me almost wished she was dying with me. How could I protect her if I wasn’t going to be here? What would become of my baby now? Who would raise her and love her? Who would teach her to dream? And worse, how could I stop the monsters from finding her? Our false identification was in my bag, but Jayden wouldn’t know to give her new name. It was the only protection I could give her now.

“Mommy,” she cried, and then there was the faint click of the lock as she released her seatbelt and she clasped my hand, scooting closer. “Mommy, my t-tummy h-hurts and my-my foot hurts. Kiss it better?”

“I know it hurts baby.” I inhaled and winced as the sharp pain in my chest worsened. “Jayden, I need you to listen very closely to Mommy; this is important. We’re going to play a new game. You’re going on an adventure.” I wanted to sob when she cried out in fear. She had spent over a year living in terror and I could only pray that God would watch over my baby for me if I didn’t make it out of this alive. As the sirens got closer, I realized, one way or another, I was almost out of time. “Jayden, I know you’re hurt and scared, but I need you to do this for Mommy, okay? Can you do this for me, please?”

“I d-d-don’t wa-want to g-go by myself. I w-w-want you to g-go with me!” she screamed. “I want you, Mommy!”

As the pain radiated from my chest, she clutched frantically at me as she tried to crawl her way into my lap. My vision turned black and I came close to fainting as the burning of bile and blood filled my mouth again. I swallowed continuously, pushing it back so as not to scare Jayden any more than she already was.

“Jayden, I need you to do this for Mommy. Please baby, it’s very important.” The wail of the sirens stopped suddenly, and then people were shouting. I was out of time. I held her to me and blinked to clear my vision, if only for a moment, to see my daughter one last time. I was greeted with her tearstained face and bloodied nose as she cried, and I could only hope her injuries weren’t severe.

“Sweetheart, you’re going to go on a grand adventure. You’ll see new places and meet new people who will take very good care of you.” I prayed I was right, because I was telling enough lies right now.

“The only thing is you can’t tell them who you really are or where you come from. If anyone asks, your name is Jayden White, and it’s just you and me. You don’t have any other family.” The roar of a saw and the screech as it made contact with the car’s frame startled us, making Jayden clutch me tighter.

“Promise me, Jayden, that you’ll never tell,” I stressed. “Promise me!”

She shrieked and covered her ears as the rescue workers tore through the twisted metal. With wide, frightened eyes, she stared out the window at the firefighters in their full yellow and black gear before looking back at me again.

“Promise,” I said again, faintly.

“I p-p-promise,” she whispered, nodding slowly.

Then she sank back into the seat curling up against my side. As she slipped her small hand into mine, I held it, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time.

Every bedtime story or fairytale begins with “once upon a time” and ends with “they lived happily ever after”. No matter the title, the story remains the same. Only the names and faces have changed.

There is always a princess who needs to be saved from the evil stepmother or firebreathing dragon and there is always the strong but gentle prince who slays the monster and rescues the princess from certain doom.

My life didn’t begin with a fairytale or “once upon a time”. While my mother strained to bring me into the world, another waited in anticipation of my birth. While she nursed me at her breast, two men shook hands and my destiny was set. When I was five, I learned what my destiny entailed.

Daddy’s boss had invited my family to his big house in the country for the weekend. Daddy said it
was a party for his son, Nicky, becoming a man. He took me and Mommy shopping for new clothes for
the weekend and warned us to be on our very best behavior or he would be very angry. Daddy was very
mean when he got mad at Mommy. One time I asked Daddy why he didn’t hit me, too, when I was bad
and he said it was because I was special. I wish he thought Mommy was special, too.

“I’m scared,”I cried. “I’ll drown.”

I stood trembling on the edge of the diving board, staring down at the pool’s shimmering water.

My mommy had dressed me in a pink and white polka-dot swimsuit with ruffles around the openings.

My hair was in pigtails with ribbons, and my fingers and toes were painted to match the fabric of my suit.

“You don’t need to be scared, Jayden. I’ll catch you,” he called back.

The young teenage boy was straddling a small yellow float in the water belowme, his arms poised to catch me. He was too big for it, which caused the float to sink below the surface so I could barely make out the dark color of his board shorts. His wet hair was slicked back off of his face, and he squinted against the sunlight reflecting off the surface of the water.

I thought he looked like King Triton rising out of the water. All he needed was his magical trident.

I shook my head and began to slowly back away from the edge.

“Jayden Ann, the only way you’re coming down from there is through the water. Nowstop embarrassing me and jump off the damn board!”Daddy yelled from the patio.

He and Nicky’s father were sitting at the table talking while they watched. Nicky’s father was my daddy’s boss and a very important man. Daddy was always talking about howpowerful he was and he looked like it. He was very tall and bigger than my daddy and had scary eyes. He looked even scarier when he smiled and reminded me of the monsters in the cartoons on TV.