The Dead & Dying: A Zombie Novel (14 page)

Its open mouth came toward me in what seemed to be slow motion and I pushed with all of my might. The thing was surprisingly light and it stumbled backward, its grasp on my jacket broken. But then it was coming forward again, reaching out with arms I could now see were so spindly that I was amazed I had ever mistaken them for Carl's.

Somewhere in the swirling veil of snow, the voice was still screaming and I could hear pain and terror in its wordless shrieks as gunshots popped like firecrackers. And then Carl's voice, sounding as if it were miles away.

“Josie!
Josie
!”

The rotter was at me again, grasping and pulling at my clothes, trying to position its mouth on the soft flesh just below my ski mask. I tried shoving it away again, but this time its grip was more solid. It staggered backward but tripped over its own feet and suddenly we were both falling, me being pulled down into the snow and landing on its body with a sharp crack that could have been brittle bones snapping.

It struggled to raise its head from the ground and thrashed about like a child throwing a tantrum. I had it pinned however and my fingers were wrapped around either side of its head, pushing back, keeping its teeth from tasting the flesh it so desperately craved.

The screams had stopped now, but I was peripherally aware of Carl still shouting my name again and again, his calls punctuated by gunfire.

At some point during the struggle, my thumbs had slid up the leathery cheeks and slipped into the soft pulp of the eyes. It felt like they were sinking into Jell-O that had frozen just enough that an icy film covered the top. But then there was a slight pop and my thumbs went deeper into the skull, hooking around the eye sockets as something cold and wet seeped into the cloth of my mittens.

But still the creature fought, gnashing its teeth as it flailed its head in an attempt to break free from my clutches. The muscles in my arms had begun to quiver and I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold it at bay. Sooner or later, exertion would take its toll. My throbbing muscles would give out, perhaps for no more than a second. But that's all it would take.

But then, as suddenly as if it had materialized from the snow itself, a brown boot blurred by in front of me. It struck the rotter's face with enough force that my thumbs flared with pain as they slipped away from the eye sockets. The boot lifted and for a fraction of a second I could see the things crushed face, its features mangled to the point that it looked like a macabre version of a Picasso painting; but then the boot came down again and again and I could hear the skull shattering as I crab-walked backward as quickly as I could.

Doc's face was filled with rage as he stomped over and over, his eyes large and round, teeth clenched together, and his entire body quaked as if he were having a seizure.

“Stupid rotting son of bitch!”

Spittle flew from his mouth as he yelled and he was now jumping up and down on the thing's face with both feet.

“
I hate you! I hate all of you! Why can't you just leave us the fuck alone?
”

Tears had begun dribbling from the corners of his eyes and the thing had long since stopped moving, its head no more than a pulpy mess forced deep into snow coated with gore. But he continued jumping, stomping, shouting, with hands balled into fists.

“
Just fucking die already, damn it! Just die.... ”

Eventually his rage spent itself and Doc crumbled to his knees, pressing his face into his hands as his back hitched with sobs. The whiteout had passed us by and I could now see that we were only twenty yards or so from the edge of town. Several corpses were sprawled across the snow and Carl was hunkered down near one of them. At first, I thought he was going through its pockets like he always did, but then I noticed that he'd pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and rubbed it like a man trying to coax away a headache.

His body seemed slumped and weary as he shook his head slowly. He looked over his shoulder for a moment, back toward the stretcher where Sadie was just now staggering to her feet. Something about this seemed to ignite a powder keg of anger within him; he began punching the snow, pummeling the dunes with his fists as he growled like a pissed off jungle cat.

I then noticed that the other corpses seemed to form something of a ring around this one. Almost as if it were the epicenter of the attack. And the snow surrounding it was bright red with tendrils of steam still curling from the splatter.

Sophie tottered over to where Carl was and I heard a wail tremble from within her that words could never begin to describe. But I
can
say how it made me feel: hearing that old woman's voice made me feel as if there were no more hope for mankind. That we'd had our day in the sun and thrived for much longer than any creature has the right to; but now we were at the end and there was nothing left for us out there in the world we once ruled. Nothing but despair and sadness and a chasm waiting to be filled with blood and tears.

She was on her knees now as well, her body splayed across the corpse as if she could somehow infuse it with some of her own life force. As if the heat from her fever could thaw the muscles that were beginning to stiffen. As if she would only lay with him long enough, he would reach up and stroke her hair one final time.

I realized then that I, too, was crying and I wanted to go to Sadie and take her in my arms. I wanted to press her frail body against mine and let her cry until it seemed as if she would never cry again. But, somehow, I couldn't force myself to get up out of the snow; it almost seemed that if I did this, then it would prove what my mind so desperately didn't want to believe: Watchmaker was dead. And he wasn't coming back. At least not in any form we wanted him too.

I'm not sure how long I stayed there, but eventually I wandered over to where Watchmaker's body lay. Doc had already joined them and Sadie was draped across Carl's arms, her face buried into his shoulder, sobbing softly.

“I'm sorry, Doc. I just can't do it. Not this time.”

Carl's voice sounded strained and his eyes seemed to plead with his friend.

“I just... I just can't.”

Doc placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head slowly.

“It's okay, buddy. You get these ladies to town. I'll be along shortly.”

Without being told, I took Carl's pistol from the waistband of his pants and we began trudging through the snow and toward the little town ahead. We walked in silence, each of us lost within our own thoughts as Carl's jacket soaked up Sadie's tears.

Snow covered fields gave way to streets that had layers of ice hidden beneath the white blanket and we picked our steps carefully; our eyes scanned the signs outside of businesses watching for one that either read
MD
or
RX
.

As we turned a corner, a single shot rang out and Sadie screamed as she burrowed her face further into Carl's shoulder. He opened his mouth as if to say something; but if there were any words that could help alleviate some of the suffering within the old woman he carried, they wouldn't come. All he could do was hold her even more tightly as he glanced at me through eyes that shimmered behind a veil of tears.

Watchmaker was gone and Doc had ensured his body would not rise up again. He wouldn't pursue the woman he'd spent decades building a life with, wouldn't taint her memories of him as he fought to claw his way through his flesh. And this, perhaps, was the greatest comfort we could have possibly given her. The comfort of remembering him as he truly was....

We ended up finding a supply of amoxicillin and prescription strength ibuprofen in a drugstore that looked as if a bomb had been detonated within it. Shelves had been overturned and products were scattered across the floor: curling irons, printer paper, disposable cameras, and bottles of talc that had burst open and spilled piles of white powder out of their mouths. In the corner someone had apparently made a fire at one point for the walls and ceiling were covered with dark stains of soot and the carpet had melted in a radius around a pile of ashes. Scrawled across the wall in black magic marker were the words
Helenboro overrun. Scott's Bluff infested. DO NOT GO!

Doc had rejoined the group by this point and the three of us sorted through the mounds of pills and tablets that littered the pharmacy section while Sadie curled into a tight ball nearby. Her tears had dried up by then and she simply lay there, staring at the wall with an expression on her face as blank as the fields of snow outside.

We took what we thought would be useful, stuffing little blister packs and loose pills into our pockets to sort through later.

“Man, people have their priorities all out of whack.” Doc said. “Anyone but me notice that there's all these antibiotics, all these low-grade pain relievers? But have you seen a single narcotic? Any type of controlled substance at all?”

“Beer cooler's been wiped out, too.” I added. “Noticed that when we first came in. Wine section, too.”

Carl had been strangely silent since we'd left Doc with Watchmaker's body out there in the field. We tried to pull him into the conversation, tried to distract him with questions, but it was obvious from the distant look in his eye that his mind was somewhere far away. And there was pain etched into his face; pain that I somehow knew was deeper than just the loss of the old man.

“Hell even before all this shit went down, people were looking for a way to escape. I guess now, for some at least, a little self-prescribed numbness is all they've got left.”

We were all silent for a moment as we listened to the wind bang the signage out front against the plate glass window. Finally Doc broke the silence with a hushed whisper.

“We've got to get her somewhere warm. Somewhere out of this cold. We can dose her up, but this chill's not good for her lungs. We'll be fighting a losing battle.”

“I thought that was the plan all along. You guys told me so the first day we met.”

“Yeah, but this walking the earth shit isn't cutting it anymore. We can keep heading south, but I doubt she'll last another two weeks out there in the snow. We need some wheels.”

For the first time in nearly an hour, Carl spoke but the voice seemed almost as if it were running on autopilot. It was like the words were somehow detached from the man speaking them.

“You remember Bloomburg, Doc? All the trouble we got ourselves into 'cause we thought a car would make life easier?”

Doc took a deep breath and seemed to turn Carl's question over in his mind for a bit.

“How the hell could I forget? I thought you and I were going to die on that damn freeway. But we don't really have much of a choice here. If Sadie isn't somewhere warmer, and soon, we're going to lose her too.”

It occurred to me that our lives had basically been condensed into that one statement:
we don't have much of a choice
. Survival made demands on you. Sometimes its requirements were easy ones. Other times it was like wrestling with an alligator. But in the end, consequences dictated our course of action and we were helpless to fight against the flow.

“I saw a Hummer as I was coming into town. Those things are built like tanks. As long as there's gas and we can find the keys, I say we put some serious distance between us and this town. Hell, if we're lucky we could be in Florida in no time at all.”

For the first time since I'd met the group, I felt like an outsider. And I'm not sure why. But part of me thought this was a decision they would have to make on their own.

“Shit, Doc, I know you're right. I know Sadie has to be taken outta this place soon.”

“But?”

Carl sighed and looked his friend directly in the eye.

“But I can't go with you, man. I've been turning some shit over in my head today. Revisiting old haunts. Stirring up ghosts.”

“Look, Carl, we can.... ”

“No, hear me out. I've gotta try to set things right in my own mind. Find some sort of closure like all my ex-girlfriends used to say. I've gotta do this for me, Doc.”

“Carl, let's talk about this.”

“Ain't nothing to talk about really. You take Sadie and Josie and that Hummer and get your asses to Florida. There's a little island down there called Captiva. You work your way there and sooner or later I'll meet up with ya.”

“Carl, whatever you need to do we can.... ”

“You get her safe, Doc. Both of these ladies.”

“Fuck that.”

I crossed my arms over my chest.

“I'm not leaving you alone out there, Carl, while the three of us speed away. Wherever you go, I go too.”

“Dang it, Josie, don't argue with me. You're going to.... ”

“I'm going to stay with you. And you better get used to the idea because I'll just follow your tracks in the snow if I have to.”

There must have been something in my voice because Carl lapsed back into silence then. He looked at me and I tried to read the expression on his face but it was like looking at a book written in a language I didn't understand.

Several hours later, Sadie was laid out in the backseat of the Hummer and Doc was behind the wheel with the window rolled down. All of our goodbyes had been said; tears had been shed. But it seemed as if no one really wanted to part ways. There was always one last thing that needed said, one last reminder.

“Captiva Island, Doc. Don't you forget, hear? We'll all be swimming in the ocean together before you know it.”

“You take care of him, Josie. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, okay?”

Finally the excuses ran dry and Carl and I were left to watch as the yellow Hummer slowly pulled away. Doc threw his hand out in a wave and we stood there together, Carl with his left arm wrapped around my waist, his free hand waving back.

We stood and watched until they were nothing more than a yellow speck in the distance. A speck that rapidly faded into nothingness. And, just like that, Sadie and Doc were out of our lives.

“What do ya say we get this show on the road? Sooner I take care of my shit, the sooner we can be catching the rays with Doc and Sadie.”