The Demon Within (22 page)

“Don’t what?” She paused for barely a moment, her heart pounding in such damning hope she winced at her own susceptibility to him.

When she didn’t receive a reply, her heart shattered a little. Unable to help herself, Caly glanced at him, not sure what she expected to see.

A harsh gasp of denial escaped her throat.

Whatever she expected, it wasn’t this.

Ruman had reached out to her in entreaty, but instead of a live man, she came face to face with her statue.

A glance over her shoulders revealed the bright rays of the early morning sun streaking through her room. When he issued his threat this morning, she thought he was bluffing.

Apparently not.

Caly couldn’t take her eyes away from him. The lack of shirt revealed a chest that left her breathless, displaying a body she’d recently caressed and kissed so intimately.

Almost unaware of her movements, needing to make sure he was real, Caly reached out and trailed her fingers lightly over his chest.

The stone’s warmth startled her. It disturbed her to think of him alive beneath the stone, awake but unable to move. She thanked God he didn’t have to go through that torture.

If she hadn’t known what to expect, she might have run. She was strong, but there was only so much a girl could handle before she cracked. Seeing the man she’d kissed not moments ago turned into a statue was one of them.

She couldn’t imagine living a life cast in stone, awakening only to face one test after another. To never have a life of your own. To be confined would drive her insane. To be imprisoned for centuries would kill her soul.

She didn’t know how he managed.

She rested her head against his shoulder, her body fitting naturally against his, but the one sided hug didn’t offer any comfort. All that power, all that frozen vitality couldn’t protect her, not when he proved to be the biggest danger to her.

“What are we going to do?” Caly closed her eyes. “I don’t understand anything since you came into my life. I’m so close to getting everything I’ve ever wanted, so close to being normal I can feel it. But it’s slipping away.”

She reluctantly released her hold. With one last look at him, she turned away. “I’m not sure how to deal with you. With what you make me feel. You mess up my thinking, and I can’t have that.”

Caly touched the smooth scars that encircled her wrist and the old burns that webbed up her forearm. “I’ve lived through too much. I’m not sure I can go through more. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to survive you.” It felt good to finally say it aloud, even if she was too much of a coward to say it to his face. Now maybe she could put it behind her and forget she’d ever had those thoughts.

* * *

Ruman was helpless to do anything as Caly left his room. The dejected slump to her shoulders, the tone of her voice sent a shaft of pain through his chest. He’d never wanted to cause her such pain.

In a silent rage, he cursed the situation. He needed to gather her close and reassure her that he would always be there for her. Instead, he was stuck encased in stone.

If she ever found out he heard her speak, she’d cheerfully slip one of her precious knives between his ribs. Caly wasn’t one who liked to be vulnerable, never in front of others and especially to herself.

But he was fiercely glad to hear her words. Resolve filled him. With a woman like Caly, being soft would get him nowhere. She needed a strong hand and a strong man to match her.

He just hoped he got the chance.

Even in the form of the statue, her touch burned. The way her fingertips caressed his skin, the soft breath against his chest made him yearn for more. He wanted her to come to him freely.

And she would, he’d make sure of it.

He was through fighting himself, fighting her would be hard enough. Somehow, some way, he’d find a way to have and keep her.

Chapter Sixteen

A
ttired in her standard battle gear, minus nearly all but a few of her weapons per the meeting requirements, Caly waited by the elevator for Ruman. She couldn’t stay and watch him awaken. It felt too intimate.

She ignored the bite of nerves at seeing him again after everything that had happened. Part of her feared that he wouldn’t wake from the statue. Half her afternoon had been wasted staring at him, fantasies dancing in her mind.

Just like now.

She shook her head, wishing it was as easy to get rid of those thoughts.

Work.

Job.

Focus.

The report David gave regarding the overseas group of demon hunters preyed on her mind. How could Oscar have kept them in the dark?

Her.

It was the only answer. A chill slithered down her spine at all the people who’d needlessly died so he could keep his experiments quiet.

A door down the hall opened. Caly automatically turned. All thoughts of plummeting to her death or the upcoming meeting evaporated at the first sight of Ruman.

Hell, truth be told, all thoughts ceased to exist as the feelings she’d tried to lock away exploded through her. Ever since the kiss, her body was hyperaware of him and reacted to his nearness in ways she had no defense against.

His long strides drew her gaze. As she scanned his body, her mouth grew drier than the desert heat outside. His black jeans were snug against his legs, revealing all that power; his shirt hugged the muscles of his chest. A shiver of awareness hitched her breathing in an embarrassing way that made her feel like a teenager crushing.

“Caly.” He stopped inches from her, a warmth in his eyes that invited her to lean into him and take what she wanted.

Self-conscious and too easily tempted, Caly quickly turned away. Only to face the small, cramped quarters of what some man considered adequate transportation. He gestured for her to enter the elevator. Refusing to show weakness, she clenched her teeth, stepped inside, and struggled against the need to go right back out.

She wasn’t sure what was worse. Being in the elevator or being alone with Ruman.

As the doors sealed her inside the metal tomb, she absently rubbed the scars on her wrists to remind herself she was free. Her eyes wandered, searching for a distraction.

And automatically shifted to Ruman. One quick look confirmed her fear. The view from the backside was almost better than the front.

When they remained stationary for another minute, she slowly lifted her gaze to find him staring at her reflection in the polished door.

“What’s wrong? Is it the meeting?”

“Nothing.” When she moved to push the button, he planted himself in front of the only source of her escape.

“You’re disturbed. Do you sense something?”

She couldn’t tell him the truth, tell him that he was the one who disturbed her by making her care for him. She wasn’t prepared for her own reactions, let alone his. So she took his excuse and focused on work.

“The main faction was cautious and refused to meet, offering up a member on the fringes of the group instead.” She licked her lips, thinking of how much she should say about all the conditions they’d placed on the meeting.

“Their caution is understandable. Discovery could hinder the group or get them killed.” Ruman didn’t budge. The bastard refused to let her get away with the easy answer.

She unconsciously touched her weapons, wincing at so many empty slots. “To avoid a trap, the meeting will be held tonight outside the hotel during café hours.” She needed Ruman as her eyes and ears while she focused her senses on the informant. Relying on him didn’t disturb her. And that should’ve bothered her more than it did.

“But that’s not what has you on edge, is it?”

Damn man was too perceptive. She hesitated then shook her head, choosing the lesser of the two evils. She couldn’t tell him that his proximity had her second-guessing herself. Men always read too much into things. “Oscar insisted on secrecy to the point of isolation. We didn’t even know a larger group existed until today. Why would he do that?”

A stillness passed over him, and she knew he understood what she’d really asked.

“You already know the answer.” The raspy answer sounded torn from him.

She turned away so he wouldn’t see the way his reply crushed her. She knew Oscar hated her, she just never knew how much.

“He had to keep you safe.” The caressing tone of his voice slashed through her defenses, and her head snapped up.

“Safe is not what comes to mind when I think of Oscar.” Bitterness thickened her words. She wished she’d never brought up the subject. He didn’t know the truth, and if she had her way, he’d never find out about her past.

Ruman shook his head slowly as if sensing an undercurrent in her words. “You don’t know, do you?”

She refused to look at him, almost wishing the elevator would drop them. Anything to escape. “We’re going to be late.”

“Everything Oscar did was to protect you. The old fool used the wrong methods, but he did what he thought best by raising you as one of his men.”

He’d raised her the way he did to study her. Hadn’t he? Buzzing filled her ears. “You weren’t there, didn’t see what he did.” He had to be wrong.

He gave her a pointed look. “I know he managed to keep you alive after numerous demon attacks. That’s nearly an impossible thing.”

Steam rolled out from under her collar, but she couldn’t tell him the truth. Her past had to remain in the past if she had any hope of protecting her friends. Part of her knew if he learned the truth, he wouldn’t touch her again. He made no secret of his hatred of demons.

“You don’t understand.” And she would do anything to keep it that way.

“He gave you the tools you needed to stay alive.” Ruman pressed the lobby button then stood by her side as they descended. Neither looked at the other. “Forgive him or don’t, but you needed to know that he thought you were worth saving. Even at the cost of his own life.”

Caly couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat. Oscar wouldn’t give his life for a demon. Could she be remembering the past through the eyes of a frightened child? Memories cascaded in her mind, seen through new eyes, a new perspective. Could the old man actually have been trying to protect her, searching for a cure instead of experimenting on her for answers to his precious cause?

Ruman turned everything she believed on end. Even what she believed about herself. A chink appeared in her armor, and he kept wrenching it open, making her vulnerable.

Making her care about him when she knew it was the worst possible thing for either of them.

Just standing close to him had her body humming. She wanted to push him away, but feared it was already much too late.

The bell dinged, and his hand settled at the small of her back. Caly jerked at the contact. The touch was light, comforting, with only her blade and a thin shirt separating them. The warmth from his hand spread, making her very aware of every inch of her body and every subtle move of his. It put her on edge, both with the need to run and the ache to get closer.

“Ready?”

Caly jumped at the sound of his voice. Realizing he held the elevator door open, she blushed harder and hurried into the lobby.