The Desire to Touch (24 page)

“Don’t panic, it’s empty out there, hardly anyone in.”

I nod at him - I can’t bring myself to speak, crap I’d better find my voice pretty damn quick as the MC joins us in the wings. He smiles at me then walks onto the stage to introduce us, Lucas squeezes my hand and in return I give him a big goofy grin. Next thing I’m being led out onto the stage, the lights are down and he leads me to a block in the centre of the stage that is covered in some silky fabric.

We sit, ‘Legs Ellie!’ I suddenly remember to keep my knees together so as not to show the entire audience my poor choice in underwear, Lucas is sat right next to me so I turn into him a bit so my legs are shut.

“Shine, Doll face,” he whispers in my ear.

The band strikes up and the lights come on lighting us on the stage, It’s so bright, I can’t see any faces just the glare from the spot light. My nerves are at an all time high and I don’t know if I can pull it off.

Lucas squeezes my knee to count me in and on cue I open my mouth, old Ellie kicks in and I’m singing, I’m actually doing it! ‘Go Me!’

I may not be in tune and for all I know I might even be singing the wrong words but hey, the bitch is back! Angel girl is applauding but Devil girl has turned blue from where she’s held her breath for too long. I look at Lucas and he is smiling at me while he sings and I smile back and sing, occasionally I look into the lights but never at the faces in the crowd, I can’t take seeing their faces of anger and pain as I probably kill the notes.

I’m high on nerves at the moment and oh how I have missed this feeling, I look back at Lucas and there’s a look of bewilderment in his eyes and I start to panic but manage to cling on to my cool and carry on. I can hear my own voice in my ear and it’s really off putting so I slyly hook my hand under my hair and pull the ear piece out.

For the first time since last night I feel like I’m flying again and a world of worries has been lifted off my shoulders. Out of nowhere the deep dark voice creeps into my mind, like a cloud of black evil the words,
“Sing my Angel, remember it’s just for me no one else!”
I can feel the heat of his breath on my face like he’s next to me again. I swallow hard and feel the sweat start on my palms making it hard to grip the mic, Angel and Devil girl start battling the black cloud to banish it from my head.

I painfully continue and smile through it all, though I know my eyes would tell it all if anyone could see, A tear runs down my cheek and Lucas looks at me worried but still singing. I shake my head at him and continue the song.

The song is over when it feels like we’ve not long started, Lucas takes my hand and kisses the back of it.

“Thank you.” He whispers.

“Anytime.” I smile back.

The band stops and the applause starts, we stand and bow. Lucas turns and gestures his arms to me and I bow again smiling at him, then I look to the crowd and spot Meagan whooping and whistling. Everyone is standing and it’s a lot to take in, I grin at Meagan and see Lacey sitting with her so I wave, then I spot Trey at the table with them and he too is standing and clapping.

Shit! I look to Lucas and gesture to him for him to bow and we turn to leave when I see Lorenzo standing by the entrance smiling at me. I don’t smile back I just stare at him in shock, why is he here? Lucas grabs my hand and leads me off the stage, in the wings he picks me up off the floor and bear hugs me.

“Ellie that was…you were amazing, thank you.” He kisses my forehead as he plants me back on the ground.

“Did you see him?” I ask.

“Who?”

“Lorenzo, he was by the entrance.”

“Really? That’s not good doll, Jerry has strict rules on him going to any of his places. I’ll have a word with Jerry in a minute. First we need a drink to celebrate you saving my skin!”

We run back to the dressing roo
m and I quickly change into my clothes and return Mary-Claire’s bangle. I grab a wipe and take most of the makeup off – turning me back into Ellie not the pinup girl.

I can’t get the feeling of the rancid heat off my face, it feels like its burnt into my skin and I scrub for a bit but just make my face sore.

“I need food Lucas, I’m starving.”

“Yes that’s fine, let me change then we’ll head out to see the others and have a drink.”

A waitress appears at the door to the dressing room, “Miss Jones?”

“Yes?” I turn to see another young lady in her uniform.

She approaches, “Mr. Fines would like to see you in the bar.”

“Ok thanks.” I smile at her as she leaves and I look to Lucas.

“Don’t worry,” he puts his arm around me, “I won’t leave you alone with him.”

We walk down the hall and out of a staff door that brings us into the main bar area, w
hich is crammed with people while the band plays in the background.

“You said it was empty tonight.” I look at all the people around and Lucas just smiles at me.

Meagan runs up to me squealing and she jumps into my arms, “Ellie you were amazing, literally amazing!”

Oh I love her youthful exuberance, it’s so refreshing.

“Well I was literally crapping myself!” I release her so she stops clinging on.

She looks at me funny, “Did you enjoy it though?”

“A big part of me did yes.”

“Well it’s irrelevant, I am so proud of you and I’m not the only one,” she smiles wickedly.

“Yeah what is
he
doing here?” I grab her arm and lean into Meagan whilst looking for Trey.

“I only mentioned it and he was more than up for coming.”

“You told him? God’s sake Meagan I’ve known the bloke for three days, not exactly planning on moving in anytime soon!”

“What can I say, the guy is obviously head over heels for you.” She claps her hands in her uber excited way.

“Three days Meagan…three!” I hold up my fingers to her face, she holds her hands up in defense.

Lucas grabs my arm and pulls me into him quickly, “What were the tears about?”

With that I feel the heat and rank stench on my face again I wipe my cheek and force a smile, “Nothing, just overwhelmed.” 

Another young attractive waitress appears at my side, “Miss Jones, Mr. Fines is very insistent on seeing you.”

“Okay,” I feel his presence as he approaches, I look to my left and see Trey joining us. ‘Fuck this Trey, can wait let’s see how he likes being left hanging’, “Thank you I will come now.”

I look at Lucas, “Let’s get this done with.”

“Ok Babe,” he places his hand on my lower back and walks with me through the crowds of tables full of people eating and drinking, we dodge the mass of Monday drinkers by the bar and reach a small set of steps that lead up to the VIP area. Lucas keeps his hand in place, more for my protection than anything else but I can feel eyes burning in to my back. We climb the five or so steps behind Miss Long Legs and I glance over my shoulder briefly and, as I thought, Trey is staring at us as we walk. I also notice that the view of the stage from this elevated position is really good, not the VIP area for no reason then.

The a
rea is a dark, sullenly lit, full of black velvet sofas and chairs.

“Ellie, Ellie, “Jerry stands and approaches from behind an oak table, “Why darling, you have surpassed yourself tonight!”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that.” A nervous smile creeps across my face.

Jerry stops right in front of me and holds his arms out trying to coax me in for a hug, but I just hold myself rigid and feel Lucas’s hand tighten on my back. Jerry leans in to kiss my cheek and then the other, the whole time his over-powering aftershave floods my senses, offending them.

“Picture?” A voice asks. Someone with a camera in front of their face is waiting for us to pose. Jerry throws himself in between me and Lucas, he throws his arms around us and plants a third gut-wrenching kiss on my cheek for the photographer. The flash goes off and the man runs off without removing the camera from his face.

“Ellie hasn’t eaten yet Jerry, so I need to get her some food.” Lucas attempts to remove us from the situation and holds his hand out for me to stand back by his side.

“Patience Lucas, lets not forget she saved your ass tonight! Darling come and join us.”

Jerry places one hand on my shoulder and with the other he gestures to the table he was sitting at. I look over at his ‘friends’ and there are four men sitting
in black suits and black shirts. One of the men has shades on and two men sit either side of him in very close proximity, guarding him. A fifth man is standing at the back of the room and his stance is much like that of Michaels, each of the men has more gold than the Federal Reserve hanging from every appendage. I glance at the table, which has cigars burning away in the ashtray, filling the room with clouds of thick smoke. I feel like I have walked in on a private meeting with the Godfather and, as Jerry speaks, the three men sitting do not take any notice of us, but the fourth man stands to remove his jacket and in doing so makes a more than obvious show that he has a gun holstered.

I grab for Lucas’s hand as I am so tense right now
, I could possibly leave a puddle on the floor. Jerry takes the hint from the man, “On second thoughts, maybe another time.” Reaching into his pocket Jerry pulls out a wad of notes held together with a gold money clip, solid gold if I know Jerry. He starts thumbing through the notes and pulls a few free, passing them to me.

“No, honestly Jerry, that’s not necessary.” I wave my hands at him.

“Nonsense you saved more than Lucas’s ass tonight,” he thrusts the money into my hand, “The reason I wanted to see you is, I want you to do a permanent set here.”

What? “I don’t think I can Jerry I am swamped with work at the moment.” Quick thinking again - go me!

“Well, at least think about it, even if it’s once a week. I’m thinking of a permanent fixture with you and Lucas.”

Yes I am flattered, yes my ego is being preened but my Angel is severely reluctant and starts thinking of all ‘What ifs’.

I smile, “I’ll think about it and thanks for the money.”

“Right,” he grabs the waitress that has the laborious task of refilling the mafia’s tumblers, “Rachel, food for Miss Jones and her friends and their drinks on the house all night.” He smacks her bum sending her on her way and I see the cringe on her face as he touches her. I want to tell her I feel the same way every time I see him.

“What the hell has come over you?” Lucas jests at Jerry turning me towards the steps.

“Close call tonight Perez, d
o not fuck me around again or you know what’ll happen! Try and keep your dick in your pants from now on!”

Lucas salutes as we make towards the top step then we stop, “Jerry, I forgot to say.”

Jerry has resumed his seat back at the table, he sits placing a cigar in his mouth and looks up at Lucas.

“Lorenzo?”

“What of him?” Jerry looks at him suspiciously.

“He was here watching the set.”

Jerry’s face drops and his cigar falls out of his mouth and onto his lap, “Fucker! I’ll kill him!” He slams his fists into the table, standing he snatches his phone off the table and storms out of the room through a side door.

“Time to go,” Lucas grabs my arm and runs me down the stairs and back to where Meagan, Lacey and Trey are seated.

“What was that about?” I ask.

“I’ll explain in a minute; let’s go eat with the others, I am keen to meet this superstar.”

On approach to the table I can see Meagan leaning into Trey quietly discussing something, I do hope she’s not telling him anything that I want to say when I’m ready. As we reach the table Trey stands and I noticed he’s changed into a tight fitted plum shirt that is tucked into a pair of charcoal trousers, I go weak when I realise he is here to see me and not any of the very attractive wealthy women in here.

Trey leans in to kiss me on the cheek, “You call me beguiling?”

I go coy as his lips touch me and that feeling is there again, the current runs through me taking control of every muscle in my body and making me want to touch him, to feel that closeness we had last night. I desperately try to cling on to the anger I felt only a few hours ago but it’s slipping away quickly.

Trey pulls my chair out for me to sit and, as I do, he takes my hand in his and strokes the back of my hand.

“This is Lucas, one of my closest friends.”

“Hey,” Lucas shakes his hand but looking at him in the don’t-mess-with-her way.

“Great to meet you.” Trey shakes back and they both sit down, Trey turns to me and looks me straight in the eye. I stare deep into his crystal eyes and crave to touch him, the desire is so bad then I look around and remember there is a photographer in the house.

I pull my hand back, “There’s a photographer here, best not touch me.” I even wince at the harshness in my own words.

His eyes look lost, “Ellie you don’t understand I…”

I cut him off, “Let’s just keep it friends for now.”

Two waitresses approach and place bowls of Spaghetti Bolognese in front of each of us making Lacey and Meagan giggle with delight.