The Devil's Backbone (A Niki Slobodian Novel: Book Five) (8 page)

“Yes,” I said.
 

“And what do you want? Do you want to save me? Have you looked into my soul and decided that I’m worth it? That I could be fixed?”

“No,” I said. “I don't think you have a soul.”

“He doesn’t have one either,” she said, motioning to Aki. “You’ve seen it, haven’t you? The endless nothing inside of him. It is frightening, is it not?”

“It is,” I said.

“Imagine what it’s like to have it inside of you,” she hissed from somewhere deep in my head.

Aki had been silent thus far, but he spoke now. “Enough,” he said, his voice strange and hollow. The Yuki-onna stopped her whispers and looked at him. Fear. It was all over her. Even her writhing blue heart seemed to have his attention.
 

“What did you do?” I said, staring at the Yuki-onna, rigid and unmoving on the mountain of corpses.
 

“This is why I’m here,” said Aki, not taking his eyes from the Yuki-onna. “If you interfere your friend will die.”

He strode up to the frozen dead, raising his knees to climb up, and stood beside her. He bent toward her and whispered in her ear. He whispered for what seemed like a very long time. When he finished, the Yuki-onna looked at me. A dark red tear fell from her eye and rolled down her face. I was shivering violently. I tried to hold onto the flame inside me, the white-hot heat, but it was just as weak and trembling as I was.
 

The Yuki-onna lifted her arm and raised the cage, her heart barely moving, the blue flames surrounding it hardly daring to flicker. With her other hand, she opened a door in the cage and reached in, holding the heart in her hand. She took it out and held it in front of her. The blood was pouring from her eyes. She didn’t look at me. It was as if she’d forgotten I was there.

“Stop it,” I said. “Leave her alone.”

Aki smiled. “Don’t you see what she’s done?”

“She couldn’t help it. Look at her. She’s confused, crazy. Just put her back where she came from. It’s not her fault the door was opened.”

“Silence,” Aki said, and there was the same hollow resonance to his voice.

“Did you just tell me to shut up?” I said.

Aki frowned at me. “Silence, or he’s dead.”

“Don’t make me choose,” I said. “This isn’t right.”

“You already chose,” said Aki. “The moment you brought me here, her life was void.”

He turned and once again whispered in the Yuki-onna’s ear. She raised her hand and put the heart to her lips. The cage tumbled down the frozen mountain with a series of clangs and rolled to a stop at my feet.

“Oh my god,” I muttered. I made my legs move, but I’d hesitated too long. The Yuki-onna opened her mouth, the heart muffling her sobs as she pushed it in and bit down. I forced myself up the hill, trying not to think about what I was climbing on, using the rock-solid arms and legs as footholds. The Yuki-onna was screaming between bites and Aki was smiling down at me.

“Stop it, you son of a bitch!” I said, pulling out the gun and pointing it at him. “Stop it or I’ll shoot you again. This is cruel.”

As if in reply, he spoke to the Yuki-onna. I could just hear his voice. He said, “Finish it.”

With something in between a groan and a sigh, the Yuki-onna shoved the rest of the heart into her mouth. She started shaking, vibrating, and then she seemed to melt away until she was a form, standing before a wide-eyed Aki, made purely of blood, her hand poised at her mouth. And then she fell, the blood becoming liquid and then solid again as it touched the ice, freezing immediately on top of the pile of frozen bodies, a thin layer of red covering the top of the mountain.

Aki looked down at me, my mouth hanging open, my eyes wide, my heart in my throat.

“She couldn’t help it,” I said again, hating how weak my voice was.

“She was a monster,” he said.

I straightened, something hot and bitter rising in me.

“We are all monsters,” I said. He screamed as I emptied my gun into him.

* * *
 

I reluctantly brought Aki back to Gage’s apartment. Had Gage not been under his knife, I would have left the bastard there to let him figure out a way home on his own. I didn’t know how Aki’s power worked, and if he were to find Gage again on his own, he might kill him out of spite. I’d already pissed him off by putting a whole lot of bullets into his shiny little suit. He didn’t speak until we were safely back at Gage’s place. Just cast me sullen looks.

“She wasn’t you,” he said finally, his voice tight and controlled.
 

“She could have been,” I said.

“We all have our duties,” Aki said. “You keep the balance in your way and I’ll keep it in mine.”

“Maybe balance is overrated.”

“That may be,” he said, “but she was killing people. And she wasn’t going to stop. Nothing you or I did or said was going to stop her. She talked to you, didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“You saw yourself in her.”

“She said someone took her child,” I said. “She was so broken. Maybe she could have been fixed.”

“You can tame a tiger,” said Aki, “but eventually the tiger will remember that it is a tiger.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means the Yuki-onna is a monster. You can’t turn her into a pet. She’s going to go back to her nature at some point. It’s only a matter of time.”

“You say that word a lot. Monster.”

“So?”

“So, what makes her a monster?”

Aki didn’t answer, but instead sat down on the couch wearily.
 

“Was she always a monster?” I said.
 

“Why?”

“Because I need to know,” I said.
 

He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them to look at me. “No,” he said. “She wasn’t always a monster. She was a person once. But she chose to become this way. Maybe out of grief. Maybe out of madness. You make a choice to be one way or another, Niki.”

“She was an Abby?” I said.

“Maybe. I don’t know. The point is, she was killing people. Don’t you care about that?”

I frowned and looked away. “Yes,” I said. “I don’t know. I used to care. I used to care so much.”

“You forget sometimes, don’t you?” he said.

“Forget what?”

“What it’s like to be human.”

“I held up my end of the bargain,” I said. “Are you going to let Bobby go?”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Of course.”

“How will you get back?” I said, suddenly curious. “When you’re done, I mean. Can you leave yet?”

“I guess I’ll find out when the time comes.”

“You owe me,” I said.

“I am aware of that.”

“You said you ripped a hole in your world and stepped through. Followed the Yuki-onna here. Is that like how we travel to Hell and back?”

“Yes, it is the same principle,” he said. “You need to visualize who or what or where you want to go to, and then you step through. If you don’t have the specifics in mind, you’ll get lost in the Black.”

“The Unsung,” I said.

“Is that what you call it?” he said. “How poetic.”

“Could you go back if you wanted to?”

“Why?”

“Just wondering.”

He frowned. “I tried to go back. Before. When I realized I couldn’t feel her. I wasn’t able to even touch the fabric of the world.”

“So you can’t go world-hopping?”

“Why?” Aki said, frowning.
 

“It doesn't matter. I’m going to get ready,” I said. “And check on Bobby.”

“He’s fine,” he said quickly. “I didn’t hurt him.”

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t trust you.”
 

“I don’t require you to trust me,” he said. “I’ve already gotten what I needed.”

“I would have helped you,” I said. “If you asked.”

“I’ll go with you,” he said.

I ground my teeth as he followed me into Gage’s room. I sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at the big man that had been my only friend for so long. He was barely moving with each breath and for a moment I thought he was dead. But then his breath hitched and his chest moved. I looked over at Aki, leaning against the door frame. I looked back at Gage.

“Bobby,” I said, shaking him through the quilt that covered him. He didn’t stir. I looked back at Aki. “What the hell did you do to him?”

“I didn’t break him,” said Aki. “I told you he’s sleeping.”

“Looks more like a coma.”

“You could call it that. He won’t wake until I tell him to.” His face went cold and serious. “Wake him up,” I said. “Now.”

I stared at him for a moment. He didn’t avert his eyes. And suddenly I knew.

“You were going to kill him,” I said.

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you were,” I said. “I can see your mind.”

He frowned. “You can’t. No one can.”

“But it’s there. You’re weak. You have no power here except over the minds of men and monsters. And sometimes you think that those two are not mutually exclusive. You’ve seen men that are worse than monsters, and monsters that a good deal more honorable than men. And you’re going to kill this one because, why? Because you can?” I frowned and concentrated. Aki seemed to be frozen in place. He couldn’t look away from me. “No. Because he’s mine. Isn’t that right, Aki? You want to hurt me.”

“Stop it,” he said, breathless. “How are you doing this?”

“Why do you want to hurt me?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

I pushed deeper. There was something black and sticky in Aki’s mind.
 

“You can’t even see it there, can you?” I said.

“How?” he said.

“I don’t know how,” I said. “But you didn’t come here on your own. You didn’t follow the Yuki-onna, did you?”

“I don’t remember,” he said, his voice hoarse.
 

“They stranded you here,” I said. “With one task. Hobble Death.”

“I don’t remember coming here,” he said. “I just woke up and I was in this building. And I knew what I was supposed to do. I knew it was you and I knew who you loved and how to hurt you.”

“So killing Bobby was supposed to make me a helpless pile of sadness?” I said. “Whoever sent you really needs to do their research, Aki. That’s not really how I operate. When someone tries to hurt the people I love, I only react one way, and it’s not crumpled on the floor sobbing my little eyes out.”

“Please, I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t even know who sent me here.”

“Who is your god, Aki?”

“What?”

“Who is your god?” I said. “You changed, didn't you? Just decided to worship their god. The Grace. They made you believe it was your decision. What about your old god, though?”

“We don't have a god,” said Aki, his voice weak and suddenly confused. “Not anymore. Our god left us.”

“He left you?” I said. “When?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “Maybe a month ago. We felt it happen. He was just gone.”

“Who was He?”

“He didn’t have a name,” said Aki. “But He was fearsome. To worship was to fear.”

“How do you know He left?” I said.

“Because,” he said. “I wasn’t afraid any longer. None of us were. And if He hadn’t gone, no one could have opened up the universe and let as weak a monster as a Yuki-onna through. This boy you speak of, this Matthew. If my god was alive, the boy would be dead.”

“You think your god is dead?” I said.

“What other explanation is there?”

“Maybe He ran away.” I remembered my conversation with the Creator.
 

“No,” said Aki. “It is not our way.”

I turned to look at Gage. Without knowing why, I reached out my hand and placed my palm on his forehead.

“You can’t wake him,” said Aki. “He’ll never wake. I broke him.”

I felt a heat like fire burning my hand. I nearly pulled my arm back from the pain, but I forced myself to keep it there. I remembered the Creator putting Her hand on my forehead the same way. I put the thought out of my head and concentrated. I tried to look into Gage the way I’d looked into Aki. But it seemed to me that there were too many cracks. I frowned. He
had
broken him. Bobby's mind was in pieces. I put my other hand on his temple and felt my whole body catch fire. I opened my eyes, expecting flames to be consuming me, but there was nothing. But it felt like fire. Like when I burned to death, so long ago. A lifetime ago.

I felt a piece shift in Bobby’s mind. Then another, fitting together like a puzzle. Another piece snapped into place. I screamed as the fire burned me, and I made one final push to gather the bits of his mind. I felt it when they slid into place and I fell back on the floor, gasping. I looked at my arms, but they were normal. Completely unscathed.

“What the hell?” I breathed.

“What are you?” said a voice from the doorway.
 

I started, forgetting Aki was there, surprised he had stayed. His head hung as if he were a puppet held up by strings, and the string holding his head had snapped.

“Why are you still here?”

He raised his head slowly, like it pained him.

“Please let me go.”

“I’m not…” I frowned. “I don’t know how.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Please stop. You’re killing me.”

I looked down at his feet to see that he was standing in something dark, like black smoke. It was dripping through his skin and settling down around his feet. I shook my head.
 

“I don't know how. How do I stop?”

“Niki?” I turned to see Gage sitting up in the bed.

“Bobby,” I said, panic in my voice. “Do you trust me?”

“What’s happening?” he said.

“Bobby,
do you trust me
?”

“Of course I trust you,” he said, standing up shakily from the bed. He stared when he saw Aki. He looked back at me. “I trust you, Nik. Always have.”

“Then hang on to me,” I said. “And don’t let go, no matter what.”

I concentrated, then grabbed onto the fabric of reality, ripping it apart. I felt Gage’s arms wrap awkwardly around my shoulders, his chest pressed against my back. I hoped he wasn’t too heavy. I looked back at Aki.

“I’m doing this to save you,” I said.
 

He nodded woodenly, his pale eyes rimmed in black smoke.

I stepped through the tear in the world, pulling Gage with me, and we tumbled into the Unsung.