The Devil's Wife (10 page)

      "Well, I guess I should go," Lucifer said from behind me, startling me. I fell forward into the cupboard but saved myself from a bruised forehead, turning to face him.

      "What?"

      "I brought you safely back home, and been told off by your cat for keeping you out all night. Actually, his exact words were 'putting her in danger,' but the meaning and message remains the same. You're healed, you're safe, and you have a proper guardian."

      He headed for the door and I followed him, puzzled. "You mean you're not coming back?" That I can't go back to your place again? It was fun, in a scary and kind of painful way...

      Lucifer turned and looked at me, then glanced behind me. I turned to see what he was looking at, to find Aspen glaring at him from the kitchen counter, his gaze obviously outraged.

      "I don't think your cat would take too kindly to me seeing you again," he said after a few seconds

      I frowned. "Screw my cat. He thinks he's king of my castle, and he's not. He needs knocking down a bit." I glared over my shoulder at my cat.

      Aspen caught my look and—if I didn't know that cats didn't have human facial expressions—I could have sworn that he was trying to look innocent. Well, as innocent as a cat could be, anyway.

      Evil, arrogant ball of fur...I turned back to Lucifer to find he was smiling at me. "What?" I demanded.

      "So you actually want to see me again? Despite the fact that you were obviously raised a Christian and taught to fear me—or the idea of me—at a young age?" He looked like he was fighting back hope. "It seems a little strange."

      "Well, yeah. I'm strange anyway, and somehow I have

to thank you for saving me."

      The other side of my mind spoke up, screaming shrilly at me. What're you doing, you idiot? Shut up! Stop talking to the Devil! Get him out of here!

      "And you still need me to pull those bullets out of your shoulder and your chest—"

      He unconsciously rubbed at the bullet wound in the center of his chest.

      "Besides, you can cook and I can't." Traitorous mouth! I told you to shut up!

      "So, you would like to see me again, to hang out?" Lucifer asked, frowning in confusion.

      "Sure, we can hang out." I shrugged trying to sound casual. I turned to glare at Aspen, who was hissing and growling at Lucifer.

      Aspen wasn't on the counter, he was running over to stand between Lucifer and me. His fur was on end, and I could just hear the last shattered remains of his bowl hitting the floor. Aspen sprang up my leg to perch on my shoulder— he'd never done it before, so I wasn't prepared for it and flinched—and cat-yelled his opinion at Lucifer.

      I was amazed to see Lucifer growing even more redfaced as my cat told him off, ducking his blond head. I put a hand to Aspen's mouth, trying to hush him up, but he sank his claws into my arm and I had to pull him from my arm, cursing.

      "Aspen, enough!" I snapped, looking back at Lucifer. "Lucifer is my friend and I don't want to hear another word against him. Understand?"

      Aspen reluctantly stopped hissing at Lucifer, though he did occasionally make a slight disapproving sound. He kept rubbing his head against my neck, and I scratched at his chin. I was thankful that my cat was a few pounds underweight—my shoulder would be aching by now if he weighed what he should have.

      I pulled my cat from my shoulder, nursing him in my arms and running my fingers up and down his back, acutely aware of Lucifer watching me. Aspen abandoned the growl— though not the glare—in favor of purring at me.

      "What?" I asked Lucifer, who was matching the cat's glare with one of his own.

      "Nothing." He shook his head, smiling at me. "But I do have to go. I need to get some sleep in before I set out for my rounds tonight."

      "But you will come back to see me, right?" I asked before I could stop myself. I bit my bottom lip, glancing at my cat to hide my embarrassment. You absolute idiot. Flirting with the Devil... If only your mother could see you now, she'd be crawling from her grave in shame!

      "If—if you want me to." His voice sounded lighter, relieved, and I glanced up at him. There was a smile on his face.

      I could only nod. I could have sworn my face was bright pink with the heat of my blush.

      "Then I'll be back," he promised. "Tonight?"

      I looked up at him, and he smiled again, more charming than frightening. "Sure."

      "I hope you don't mind another late dinner," he said. "You said you can't cook, so..."

      "If it's anything like dinner last night, I wouldn't mind if I got it at dawn," I said honestly, putting Aspen down. The cat sat at my feet and watched Lucifer with his accusing yellow eyes.

      Lucifer laughed, heading for the door. "Then I shall be back some time around midnight with all the things I need to make you dinner."

      I smiled, laughing. "I do have food here, you know. You're welcome to use that."

      "Ah, that may be so," he said, opening the door and standing in the doorway. "But fresh is always better than that half-dead stuff that I'm almost guaranteed to find in the back of your fridge," he said with a grin.

      He shut the door before I could react. I felt insulted, but, at the same time, I was pleased. He would be coming back again tonight, and I would get another chance to talk to him.

      Aspen climbed my leg again, perching on my shoulder. He licked the inside of my ear, making me flinch away from the sandpaper-like texture of his tongue. He meowed in my ear and I shook my head, shoving his nose away from my head.

      "Yeah yeah. Whatever you say, you daft cat."

      Aspen seemed to take offence, because he jumped from my shoulder and curled up on the couch, glaring at me. I ignored his golden glare as I searched through the fridge, looking for the milk. I needed a coffee.

Jehovah

Above New York, on the Seventh and top-most Level of Heaven Industries, I sat behind my desk, absently flicking my pencil against the wooden surface, my attention fixed on the seven screens in front of me. On the center screen, Lucifer fluttered and flew through the night sky as though he were a bird, his laughter echoing through the speakers and into my office.

"This will not do," I muttered to myself. "Samyaza is on Earth to suffer as the Devil, not to find a companion with more stupidity and guts than him."

I clicked a button on the remote and the television screens vanished behind a rotating wall. I stood and paced, taking seven steps with each turn, trying to think. "If Clarissa is killed," I muttered, stopping my pacing, "then Samyaza will stop this happiness bullshit and go back to suffering."

I clicked the screens back on, and each screen showed a different view of the fight with the Hellraisers that past Saturday. "But how to get to her..."

I stared at the ceiling, as though calling on inspiration from a higher being, though I was the highest any being could be. An idea caught and I flicked back to the video of Aspen defending Clarissa from a large, brutish kind of man. With a feral grin, I called the Hellraisers into my office.

Lucifer Morningstar

      I was on top of the world as I skipped down the hallway. I was grinning like an idiot, but I didn't care. There was no one there to see me, anyway.

      She doesn't hate me! I laughed, making my way into the elevator. I hit the "up" button, waiting for the doors to close. She knows that she's the very image of my wife, and yet she still wants to see me! She knows about Sera, and my issues, and she still wants to hang out! I have a human friend!

      The elevator doors opened and I headed for the stairs. I laughed in the stairwell, leaping up the stairs two at a time. I emerged out on the roof and released my wings. I flapped them a few times in the autumn air, reveling in the feeling of the wind as it rushed through my hair.

      I laughed loudly at some pigeons that shrieked and rocketed away from me as fast as they could. I pulled my wings in, putting them away—I was going to have some fun with the humans and see just how many of them really had their heads in the clouds and who believed what they saw.

      With a feeling of release, I ran for the edge of the building, leaping out into space with my arms spread wide. The wind rushed past me as I fell, and I heard people shrieking. I controlled my descent to prevent myself slamming into the solid ground.

      Ten stories from the Earth, I turned my body, releasing my wings. I snapped them open as the voices of humans on the street brought me to the attention of those who hadn't seen me fall.

      I flapped my wings, heading off across the city toward the Hudson as I listened to the humans marvel at me.

      Time for my semi-annual visit to Hell.

~ * ~

      I dove toward the ground like a streak of crimson, heading for the small clearing below me. The clearing I was hurtling toward was one of the few Portals close by that linked Earth to Hell in a way that I could use.

      I barreled through the earthen Portal and tucked my wings in as I followed the twisting tunnel. I was propelled through the portal by the force of my descent, using my magic to prevent myself smashing into the walls. I shot out through the far end of the tunnel, laughing at the rush.

      "Ah, great," I heard Beelzebub call as I spread my wings, coming to a stop at the edge of the Frozen Lake. "Looks like the boss has finally cracked. Now I know we're doomed."

      I laughed, putting my wings and tail away. "Lovely to see you too, Bee."

      "Yep," Azazel said, sounding surprisingly sober. "He's finally been driven loopy." He slapped Bee on the back. "Good going, Uncle. Bang up job."

      "What's been happening, Morningstar?" Belial asked, his voice carrying above the others'. "Why're you so chirpy? You've been sulking for the last five thousand years, and suicidal for the last thousand of that. Did you finally get laid?"

      "Close." I walked up to my throne and slumped into it, draping my legs over the throne's left arm and leaning back. The sounds of drunken human laughter came from behind me, but I ignored them. "I found a new friend. And she looks like your sister, Azazel."

      "Sera?" Azazel asked.

      "Yeah."

      Beelzebub sighed, putting a hand on my forehead. "Well, he is a little warm," he told the others, who were watching me, some smiling, others worried. "Could just be hallucinating."

      "Then again, he could be completely loopy," Kokhabiel said, leaning down to look in my eyes with a grin.

      I threw Beelzebub's hand away from me, sticking out my tongue at him. "I'm serious, you lot. I found a human friend."

      Leviathan distracted them by breaking through the ice of the Frozen Lake a few meters from where we were. As soon as he was on the shore, the Frozen Lake froze over again, the waves from his emergence freezing in the air to make a sculpture-like creation.

      "Hey, Levi!" I called, jumping up from the throne and scattering the Demons. "Great to see you out of that eternal ice cube."

      Leviathan, an old man almost a foot shorter than me, grinned. His teeth were sharp and his skin like grey leather rather than our standard demonic red.

      "Lovely to see you back to your old self, Luce." Leviathan shook my hand. "What caused it?"

      "I found a woman who's willing to hang out with me!" I said, jumping around him.

      In shock, Beelzebub dropped the bottle of whiskey he was opening. Azazel made a leap to catch it, not spilling a drop on the ground.

      "Bee, you almost spilled the whiskey!" Azazel cried, standing up and dusting the dirt off his white shirt. He looked offended at the thought of wasting alcohol.

      With a malicious look on his face, Azazel stamped on Beelzebub's foot. Beelzebub punched Azazel in the mouth, and Azazel leaped on him, throwing his own punches. I ignored their fight, only turning from chatting to Leviathan when a scream of pain echoed around the cavern.

      "Oh, give it up you two!" I ordered, pulling Beelzebub off Azazel. "I thought you were Demons, not humans."

      "He—he—" Azazel was crying, curled up on the ground. He pointed at Beelzebub, whom I handed to Leviathan so I could help Azazel up. "Beelzebub broke the whiskey bottle! Look at all the alcohol he wasted!" He gestured to his shirt.

      I snickered, covering my mouth with my hand. Beelzebub was staring at Azazel incredulously while Leviathan, Belial, Kokhabiel, Baraqiel and Jaquie started to

laugh.

      "It's not funny!" Azazel sniffed, taking off his shirt to suck the whiskey out of it. "That was the good stuff, too!"