The Difference a Day Makes (Perfect, Indiana: Book Two) (22 page)

Once they were at his truck, he turned her by the shoulders and smoothed the hair back from her forehead. “You look good enough to eat.” He planted a soft kiss on her lips, opened the door, and helped her into the seat. Hurrying around the hood to the driver’s side, he wondered how he could coax her into his bed sooner rather than later. He’d placed the whole matter into her hands, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t help her along with the decision.

In a burst of wishful optimism, he’d picked up a box of condoms that afternoon. Not that he expected anything to happen tonight, but once she’d agreed to stay at L&L, making love with her was no longer a matter of
if
but
when
. He buckled his seat belt and started the Chevy down the driveway. “I’ve been thinking…”

“That must’ve hurt,” she teased and shot him a wicked grin.

“Very funny.” He glanced sidelong her way. “If you wouldn’t mind, I thought we’d head to the back of the arena to see if my uncle and cousins are in town tonight.”

“I’d love it.” Her hand shot out to settle on his forearm. “What changed your mind?”

“I’ve made a commitment to get better. Hiding from my family hasn’t…It’s not helping me any, and it isn’t fair to them.” His gut clenched, and he blew out a breath. “None of what happened is their fault.”

“None of what happened is
your
fault either, Ryan. Not the suicide bombing or Theresa’s accident.”

Her hand smoothed back and forth over his bare skin, and his insides tumbled. Such a simple gesture, and yet her comfort had a
profound effect. He nodded, reached for her hand, and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss on her knuckles. “You’re going to have to hold my hand through the whole ordeal, though.” He slid her a hangdog look, angling for a little sympathy. “I hope that’s all right with you.”

She chuckled in that sexy way of hers. “Done.”

“Of course, if I knew I had a reward coming at the end of the evening, that would really help matters.” He waggled his eyebrows, eliciting another throaty laugh from her. Lord, he could listen to that sound all night long.

“Good try, cowboy.”

“I don’t know where your mind is taking you, darlin’, but all I was hoping for is a kiss good night.” He flashed her his best hurt-puppy eyes. “A couple of kisses, maybe, like two…or ten.”

“Sure you were.” She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Keep hoping.”

He grinned and changed the subject. “How’d the phone call go with your mom?”

“It went fine. She forgave me.” Paige shifted in her seat to face him. “I’m going to spend some time with her next weekend. I’m heading home to pick up more of my stuff. I don’t have any warm-weather clothing here.”

“Do you need any help? If you want, I can come along.” His pulse raced. One, he wanted to spend an entire weekend alone with her, far, far away from Noah, and two, maybe they could pay Anthony Rutger a little visit.

“That would be nice.” Her lips curved up into a half smile. “I could use the help packing and carrying.”

“I have a lot of room in my truck to haul stuff, if you want to bring any furniture or larger things.”

She made a clicking sound against her teeth. “Do you think this old truck will make a trip that long without a breakdown?”

“I made it here from Texas with no problem.” He glanced at the odometer, which registered 260,000 miles and some change. Maybe it was time to look into buying a new vehicle. It wasn’t like he didn’t have the money. All he’d done since Theresa’s accident was tuck what he earned into the bank, including his military pay. Other than rent, food, and booze, he’d lacked the enthusiasm to buy anything new for himself.

He glanced at the woman sitting beside him. Was that changing because of Paige or because he was finally ready to return to the land of the living? Maybe it had something to do with the new job. Working with Noah and Ted and creating things with his hands settled him. He’d experienced moments of contentment and satisfaction, and that gave him hope.

Soon they were driving through the outskirts of Evansville toward the arena. “The actual rodeo won’t start until seven thirty, but there are exhibition shows prior to the main events, and the stadium halls will be filled with vendors. We can go see my uncle and then check out the booths.”

“Booths?” Paige’s brow furrowed. “What kind of vendors?”

He chuckled. “Everything a cowboy or cowgirl might want to buy will be there. Boots, clothes, hats, art, tack, belts, jewelry, purses—you name it, you’ll find it, even furniture. Lots of guest ranches and real estate agents set up tables to advertise too.”

“Oh.” Her eyes widened. “Too bad I’m currently underfunded. I could do some real damage tonight.”

“I’d like to buy you a hat, if you’ll let me.” He smirked. “You’re going to want one once we’re inside.”

“What does being inside have to do with anything?” She turned a puzzled look his way.

“You’ll be the only one there
not
wearing a cowboy hat.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m thinking a nice straw for the summer.
Something with a tooled leather band or maybe silver-and-turquoise conches.” Ryan joined the line of traffic heading to the parking ramp next to the sports center. The closer they got, the more pedestrians in western wear filled the sidewalks, milling around in bunches.
Unfamiliars.

His nerves rebelled, and adrenaline hit his bloodstream. His heart pounded, and his mouth went dry.
You can do this.
He’d been to hundreds of rodeos in his lifetime. He knew what to expect, and it wasn’t insurgents or improvised explosive devices. This was home, not some desert in the middle of Iraq. No matter how many times he said it, sweat still beaded his forehead, and a chill wearing combat boots marched down his spine. “I wasn’t kidding about the hand-holding, Paige.”

The sudden intake of her breath confirmed his worst fears. He looked like hell, sweaty and pasty white.

“What’s wrong?” Her eyes filled with concern.

“It’s all the people, the crowds.” He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Paranoia is part of the deal.” They were in the ramp and searching for a parking spot. He did the deep breathing thing a few more times, fighting to remain in the present. He found a spot large enough for his truck and pulled in. Shutting off the engine, he unbuckled his seat belt, leaned back, and closed his eyes tight.

“We don’t have to do this, Ryan.” She undid her seat belt and scooched closer. “We can have dinner somewhere quiet and head home.”

“Sure we can.” He grunted, disgusted by his own weakness. Opening one eye a crack, he peered at her. “The thing is, I
want
to go in. I
want
to share this with you.” He sat up and placed both hands on the wheel. “Every man, woman, and child in this country ought to experience a rodeo at least once before
they call themselves Americans. It should be a prerequisite for citizenship.”

“Really.”

She laughed, and he soaked up the sound, taking it deep inside his shattered soul. It wasn’t just the crowds that set him off. The loss of who he’d once been got to him more than anything. Rodeos, his family’s ranch, the easy, carefree way he used to approach life—all gone, and he might not ever get any of it back. Knowing his uncle would likely be here made it all sharper, brought what he’d left behind into focus in excruciating detail. The reminder was too damned painful to face.

“Give me a minute.” He eased the aching clamp of his jaw. “I know you probably think all that business about me needing you to hold my hand through this was bullshit, but—”

She reached for his hand and brought it to her lap, holding on with both of hers. “I’ve got your back, Ryan. I won’t let you go.” As if to prove her point, she tightened her grip.

“Ow!” he teased. “You don’t need to go breaking any bones there, darlin’.” Something inside him shifted and fell into place. He swallowed the constriction in his throat and managed a grin.

“Sorry.” She eased up on the pressure.

“You have quite the grip for a girl.” He turned and pulled her close. “I like that about you.”

Her expression softened, and her gaze roamed over his face. Shy, sweet Paige came out to play, and his heart stuttered and missed a beat. “One-size-fits-all remedy might help.”

She nodded, and her breath hitched. Ryan leaned in for a kiss. She opened for him, and he took her mouth. She was like his own personal IED. Touching her detonated an explosion of need deep inside him, sending his world rocking on its axis. He slid his tongue in to circle hers and started a reconnaissance mission of exploration
over her lush body. Running his hands up her slender, curved waist, he inched his way up to the swell of her breasts. He slid his thumbs over her nipples. She arched into him, and he went gun-barrel hard, nearly coming at the sound of her responsive moan.

“I want you, Paige. You have no idea how badly I want you,” he whispered into her ear and kissed his way down to her collarbone. Her chest rose and fell in a rapid rhythm, and her nipples pebbled at his touch.

“If we keep this up, we aren’t going to make it to the rodeo.” She pulled him to her for another scorching kiss.

A group of adolescent boys walking by hooted and hollered as they passed. One of them shouted, “Ride her, cowboy!”

Ryan pulled back, aching and breathless. “Right. Time to get going before we give the locals a real show.” He ran his knuckles down her cheek. “Damn, woman, but you make it hard for a man to think straight, much less walk.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Reaching into her handbag, she pulled out a brush and ran it through her hair. “Come here.”

Bossy Paige appeared, and laughter rumbled through his chest. “You are
not
going to brush my hair.”

“Fine. I won’t.”

“Fine, ’cause I wasn’t going to let you anyway.” He reached into his pocket for one of those elastic hair things, ran his fingers through his hair, and pulled it back. “I’m thinking about getting it cut off.” He picked up his Stetson off the floor, dusted it off, and put it back on.

She straightened her blouse, retied the ends, and slung her purse over her shoulder. “Noah goes to a barber in Perfect who does a really nice job.”

Just like that, everything went back to ordinary everyday life. Normal. Ryan shook his head and barked out a laugh.

“What now?” Paige raised an eyebrow as they climbed out of his truck.

“A minute ago I was melting down.” He circled around the truck to her side, laced his fingers through hers, and started them toward the elevator. “I held you in my arms for a couple of minutes, and everything shifted back to ordinary everyday stuff.”

“Let me get this straight.” She stopped walking and faced him. “You’re saying I make you feel
ordinary
?” She frowned. “Wow. You really have that whole sweet-talking thing down pat.” She shot him the
You’re an idiot
look and started walking again. “You smooth-talking devil, you,” she said in a flat tone. “Be still my heart.”

He laughed, and once he caught a glimpse of her disgruntled expression, he couldn’t stop.

Paige took her hand back and crossed her arms in front of her. “What’s so frickin’ funny?”

His sides ached, and so did the muscles in his cheeks. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed this hard. “Hoh, darlin’, you have no idea…”
No idea how crazy I am over you or what you do to me.
“No idea at all how good ordinary feels to a guy like me.”

“Yeah?” Her mouth still formed a straight line, and her eyes flashed green sparks.

“There’s not a single ordinary thing about you, believe me.” He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to stare into her eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean, then?”

“You’re magic. Somehow, you manage to drag me back from hell with your kisses and your touch.” He drew her stiff body in for a hug. “You’ll never know how grateful I am for the ordinary you give me, Paige.” His voice was hoarse with the strong
emotions whirling through him.
You mean the world to me.
He couldn’t say that. Too needy. Hell, he was needy when it came to her. Needy, achy, hopeful, and scared shitless, all at once. “It means the world to me.”

“All right.” She relaxed against him. “That’s better.”

He laced his fingers with hers again. “Let’s find my uncle and then a hat.” Once they were out on the street, his gaze automatically went to the rooftops. Hyperalert, he surveyed his surroundings—shadowed doorways, the civilians walking along with them, then back to the places where a sniper might hide.

“Ryan”—Paige nudged him with her shoulder—“what are you looking for up there?”

“Hmmm?”
Busted. Time to front.
“Just checking out the architecture.” To make it more legit, he took a gander at the huge multistoried glass front of the main entrance to the steel-and-concrete stadium. “The rigs and animals will be in back.” They stopped at a traffic light. “We should cross here and head that way.” He pointed.

“Noah used to do that too.”

“Do what?” The light changed, and they split from the herd heading for the entrance.

“My brother said he used to check the rooftops for insurgents when he first came home from Iraq. He also scanned the shadows for men holding cell phones or other electronic devices that could be used to detonate an IED.”

“You got me.” He slid her wry grin. “He doesn’t do those things anymore?”

“Nope. He used to swerve his truck away from suspicious piles of trash where an IED might be hidden too.” She shook her head. “He went through therapy for a while and got into a group.
When he started talking to other veterans, he found out they all did stuff like that, and he felt better, calmer. They check in with each other all the time, and that really helps.”

“I guess I can’t pull anything over on you, Dr. Langford.” His jaw tightened. She knew the worst about him. Hell, she’d been the one who discovered him passed out and hugging an empty whisky bottle to his chest like a lover. She’d read his suicide letter, seen the pictures and his gun. Yet here she was, walking beside him with her hand in his. Was it pity on her part?