The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya (11 page)

I figured I might as well ask.

“Now? Go where?”

Haruhi came to a stop and looked down at me before exclaiming in a haughty voice.

“North High, obviously!”

And after that quick announcement, Haruhi skipped out of the café at a power-walking speed. She was so psyched that she could barely wait for the automatic doors to slide open.

Typical Haruhi behavior, which was incredibly reassuring.

You’re really something, Haruhi. That’s how you always were. Taking action two seconds after you think of something. That’s how you’re supposed to be. Every time, you would show up at the clubroom after practically kicking the door in to tell us about
another decision without warning. Nagato would be the only one who wasn’t surprised…

“Shoot.”

I glanced at my watch. Class was long over. I’d forgotten about the promise I made at Nagato’s apartment last night. I said that I’d go to the clubroom today, except I’m already late. I could picture Nagato sitting dejectedly as she waited all alone for a knock on the door. Hold on. I’ll be right there.

Koizumi scooped up the bill on the table.

“You realize that I’ll only be paying for Suzumiya and myself?”

If you pay for me, I’ll tell you something extra.

“Oh? What might that be?”

I regurgitated the whole spiel he’d given me. An abridged version. The theory about Haruhi’s being a god, which involved the anthropic principle. His eagerness to anticipate Haruhi’s actions. The charade on the remote island.

I let Koizumi mull over that for a bit before I asked another question.

“Was Haruhi responsible, or is there someone else who’s capable of creating this situation? Which do you think is correct?”

“Perhaps, if the Suzumiya you speak of truly possesses godlike powers, she may be responsible.”

Since I couldn’t think of anyone else. Still, that would mean that Haruhi kept Koizumi by her side while ignoring me, Nagato, and Asahina. This may sound conceited, but I really doubted that Haruhi was more attached to Koizumi than to the rest of us. Or was this another one of Haruhi’s unconscious moves?

“I suppose I should feel honored about being selected.”

Koizumi chuckled.

“After all, I… yes. I’m attracted to Suzumiya.”

“… Are you sane?”

You must be joking.

“I find her to be a charming person.”

I’ve heard that line before.

Koizumi continued in a serious voice. “However, Suzumiya is only interested in my classification. She only spoke to me because I was a transfer student. And since I’m an ordinary transfer student, she’s begun to lose interest in me. What was your classification in the SOS Brigade, I believe it was called? If you didn’t have one, that would mean that Suzumiya was truly fond of you. Assuming that your Suzumiya has the same personality as the one I know.”

There’s nothing on my record to indicate that I belong in an institute. Besides the useless ability to get dragged into weird stuff without realizing it.

Haruhi stuck her head through the door with a dazzling smile on her face as she shouted.

“What are you doing? Hurry it up!”

After waiting for Koizumi to pay the bill for our drinks, I took the first step out of the warm and comfortable café and into the cold outdoors.

There was a taxi stopped in front of the café. It seemed that Haruhi had flagged it down. She must have been in a real hurry to get to North High. I should mention that it wasn’t the familiar black taxi that Koizumi and I occasionally rode in. It was a normal yellow cab.

“North High. Step on it!”

The words were out of Haruhi’s mouth before she even sat down in the car. I followed suit, and Koizumi was the last to climb into the backseat. The middle-aged driver didn’t show any signs of being upset about a little girl’s ordering him around. He smiled wryly and slowly stepped on the gas pedal.

“There’s nothing wrong with going to North High,” I said from my spot next to Haruhi, “but you’re going to stand out in those
clothes. A student from a different school needs some kind of reason to get inside. There could be a problem if a teacher spots you.”

Haruhi was wearing a black blazer, while Koizumi was in his traditional uniform. Class had been shortened that day, so there wouldn’t be many students left that afternoon. Still, these two were going to stick out like sore thumbs when mixed in with the sailor uniforms and navy blue blazers.

“You have a point…”

Haruhi spent three seconds in thought.

“John, did you have gym class today? No, it doesn’t matter. Did you leave your gym uniform in the classroom?”

We happened to have soccer during first period today.

“So you have your gym uniform and tracksuit?”

Yeah, but why does it matter?

Haruhi had a satisfied smile on her face.

“I’ll tell you my plan. John, Koizumi, huddle up.”

Did it really matter if the taxi driver heard us? Either way, we huddled up as Haruhi whispered her so-called plan.

“Sounds like something you’d do,” I replied as Koizumi’s brow creased with a look of discomfort.

I got out of the cab and headed for my classroom to prepare for Haruhi’s plan for infiltrating North High.

Incidentally, the taxi fare was picked up by Koizumi. It seemed that he served as Haruhi’s wallet in this world. That’s pretty rough when you consider how it isn’t necessary punishment. Is this guy seriously romantically interested in Haruhi? I’d love to ask what he sees in her, but I do recall Taniguchi’s mentioning that she was popular in middle school, despite her bizarre behavior. Well, it’s entirely possible that Haruhi would have shot down a whole
parade of potential suitors at North High if she hadn’t started the SOS Brigade. In that case, the SOS Brigade served as an effective layer of defense. Her role as the leader of our bizarre club would convince most guys with common sense to avoid her the way a batter would avoid a wild throw. I’d much rather take a walk than strike out or get hit by a pitch.

By the time I finished with that line of thought, I had reached the top floor.

There weren’t many people in the building, but at the same time it wasn’t entirely empty. I could see a few people here and there who had nothing to do at home or no club activities to deal with. Fortunately, there wasn’t anyone in class 1-5, which reminded me that I’d be in trouble if homeroom teacher Okabe found me. If he found out that I had come crawling back after leaving early without permission, he’d surely have some questions for me.

Someone, I don’t know who, had helped tidy up my desk. It might have been Asakura. The pencils and notebooks I’d left out had been neatly placed inside the desk, while my bag was hanging from the side. The items I sought were on the other side.

“She comes up with some crazy ideas.”

An expression of admiration for Haruhi as I grabbed my gym clothes. This large bag held the short-sleeved shirt, shorts, and tracksuit I’d used during first period. The plan that Haruhi had told us in the taxi on the way here was to “disguise them as North High students,” a very logical course of action. “Koizumi can wear your gym uniform, while I wear the tracksuit. Then we can just jog straight in. They’ll think that we’re members of a sports team that just returned from a run. Yep, perfect.”

So basically we’re using camouflage, the way insects do. This was obviously a better idea than attacking a boy-girl couple on their way home from school to steal their uniforms.

“That would also have worked.”

Haruhi commented casually from the corner outside school where she was waiting. She took the bag of gym clothes from me.

“In fact, that would make it harder for them to pick us out. You should have told us about your excellent idea earlier.”

That’d be like committing highway robbery.

Haruhi loosened the cord on the bag and dumped the contents without a smidgen of self-restraint. Four articles of clothing plopped onto the asphalt.

“You washed them, right?”

About a week ago.

“By the way, Suzumiya,” Koizumi said.

He was looking at my muddy gym uniform the way a cornered Mongolian gerbil would look at a Mongolian tiger.

“Where do we change? I hope that there’s a walled-off space in the vicinity.”

“We can change here.”

Haruhi replied casually as she picked up the track pants.

“There aren’t any people walking by, though it’s pretty cold. Oh, don’t worry. I’ll turn around. You too, John. You can serve as a wall.”

What was that sidelong glance supposed to mean?

“I don’t mind if you want to watch.”

And with a mischievous grin she stepped into the track pants and pulled them up under her skirt.

“My legs shouldn’t be that long.”

She knelt down to fold up the legs of the pants before standing back up and unfastening her skirt. Then she dropped the skirt without any hesitation, removed her black jacket, and began unbuttoning her blouse, which was when I looked away.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m wearing a T-shirt underneath.”

I caught the blouse being thrown on top of the jacket and skirt
out of the corner of my eye and turned back. Haruhi struck a triumphant pose in a plain white T-shirt and my track pants, with her long hair blowing in the wind. As I watched her, I suddenly recalled a certain sight that I kind of wanted to see again.

“Hey, you up for going ponytail?”

Haruhi gave me a blank look.

“Why?”

No real reason. Just an issue of personal preference.

Haruhi snorted, though she didn’t seem to have a problem with the idea.

“It may look simple, but it’s actually difficult to do a ponytail correctly.”

As she talked, Haruhi reached into the pocket of the black jacket on the ground, pulled out a hair rubber band, and began deftly tying her long black hair behind her head.

“Well, I look more like an athlete this way. Is that good enough?”

Perfect. Your charm has gone up thirty-six percent in my eyes.

“Stupid.”

Haruhi always pretends to look angry when she doesn’t know how to react. I’ve learned well.

A short time later Koizumi finished changing. He must be pretty cold wearing a T-shirt and shorts in this weather. And it must feel especially odd to wear someone else’s gym uniform. Koizumi had goose bumps popping up as he spoke.

“Suzumiya, you aren’t going to wear the tracksuit jacket? In that case, may I borrow it?”

Haruhi’s arms were also bare, but she had a smile that appeared to blow the cold away.

“That won’t work. I’m using it to hide our bags. It’d be pretty lame if we were caught because of our bags after going through the trouble to disguise ourselves.”

The Kouyouen Academy book bag was certainly different in appearance from the North High one in a subtle way. Haruhi wrapped the jacket around their bags and ordered me to carry them. Their discarded uniforms went into my gym bag. I was also ordered to carry that.

“Okay then,” Haruhi said.

She placed both hands on her hips.

“We’re going to run like we just returned from a marathon. Got it!?”

Sure, I guess. What about me, though? Why would a member of a sports team be out running in his school uniform and carrying all this stuff?

“We’ll say that you’re the manager. Hey, fight! One, two, fight! One, two…”

I exchanged a glance with Koizumi before shrugging and taking off after the racing ponytail.

This Koizumi and I were both well aware that it was utterly impossible to stop Haruhi once she took off racing, whether literally or figuratively. Which meant that we had no choice but to follow after her.

Right? Isn’t that how it always is?

For better or worse, the North High school gate was always open, unlike at the private school at the bottom of the hill. There wasn’t a security guard in sight. We passed through without any problems as the short staged marathon with Haruhi shouting came to an end and we reached the goal line, the entrance to the building. I had never thought that inviting Haruhi and Koizumi to my school would be such a pain. Until three days ago, you both walked through this doorway on a regular basis.

“Pretty shabby-looking school. Weren’t these walls prefabricated? Are prefectural schools really poor? It’s a good thing I didn’t apply for this school.”

I listened to her reasonable observation as I turned away from the shoe locker. Once I finished changing to my indoor shoes, I began looking around for a pair or two of guest slippers that might happen to be lying around, but Haruhi had no qualms about opening a nearby locker and withdrawing indoor shoes belonging to some unknown North High student.

Her behavior was classic Haruhi, which might have been the reason I had a creepy smile on my face without realizing it.

“What are you smiling about? You look really dumb. I didn’t do anything funny.”

I dropped the smile. She had a point. Haruhi’s craziness was one thing, but this wasn’t the time to be smiling.

I threw Taniguchi’s shoes to Koizumi, since I figured they’d be about the right size.

“I appreciate it.”

Koizumi sure didn’t sound very appreciative as he put the shoes on. I stuffed his discarded sneakers into Taniguchi’s shoe locker.